Luvs2smooch. Well, hello, all. Thanks to all you who reviewed. Here's another chapter.
Ex's and O's
Oh god. Not morning already.
I sat up in bed, eyes still squinted from the still-intense light filtered through the window shades. I need to replace those.
I got up, stretched a bit. Barely managed to drag myself out of the shower. So soothing under that warm water…
Then I threw on a random shirt, some pants. Combed my hair, put it up the way I like it. Hauled myself into the kitchen, devoured a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal. I sighed, staring at the grainy, goopish contents of my meal. Not a very encouraging sign about the upcoming day.
I grudgingly began in the general direction of the academy. Certainly, I wasn't very enthusiastic with my situation. Far from. I had to, and I repeat, had to, spend my day teaching pupils from both Suna and Konoha. With my ex, for god's sake. With Temari.
And so I was naturally reluctant to go along my way. I walked towards the academy, yes, but leisurely. Distracted myself with any single and slightest event. A falling leaf. Noisy bugs. Stopped whenever I could, just trying to take in the sights, or more accurately, to slow my pace. To prevent the hurricane that was bound to erupt once I once more met Temari.
Obviously, it was futile. Even at my slowed, abstracted lick, I soon found myself outside the academy. I sighed—How troublesome!—and entered.
Iruka greeted me at the door. He seemed happy enough at the proceedings. He rambled. I caught a few words—grades, technique, teaching—but didn't respond. Too sleepy, too pissed at the circumstances. I grumpily found the coffee machine, chugged a cup or two, and finally sought out my class.
"Oh- they're around back. Everything's ready." I grumbled my consent, headed to the designated grounds. I stepped into the bright morning glare and shaded my eyes. As such, what happened next came as a surprise--
"Shikamru, what took you?" I once more cringed at the sound of her voice, as I always do.
"Oh, he's always late." Kuroramu this time, grinning at me. I took it in stride. Grinned back. The kid's good humored, and I owe him no impatience. But Temari…I turned to face her. She wore her usual outfit. Skirt, fishnets, the works. Leaned against her fan. A single eyebrow was elevated in inquiry. I could see she expected an answer. I gave her one.
"None of your damn business."
She smiled lightly, a smile that said, You haven't changed a bit… I smiled back at her, a smile that said, I can't believe I have to go through this…with you.
And so, Temari turned to face the crowded mass that was our combined classes. Her placid stare was instantly felt by every single student, and they each turned in attention. I as well. How did she do that? She did the same to me way back when, and she still confounds me with that skill.
I shook my head. Expelled such thoughts. They were useless. Only brought on fits of nostalgia. And I had a job to do. So I turned to face the chattering throng of young ones.
"As you probably know at this point, today, instruction will include Temari-ehh…" I paused, unused to such word combinations, "…Temari-sensei and her students."
A chorus of replies rang out-- joyous outbursts and desperate moans. I let them vent it--it would have to come out at some point. Besides, silence would come on its own soon enough, and come it did. I continued.
"As such, we will begin with a little competition. You see this?" I cut off as I held up a bulky windmill shuriken. Three of its glassy blades were hidden, concealed under the first. The early sunlight refracted in a sort of unorthodox beauty off its exterior.
"You will be retrieving it." I smiled, feeling rather smart. Leaped into the air, high. 20, 30 feet. Unfolded the blades and threw it. It schizzed and buzzed as it sliced the misty air. Sailed and spun once or twice before disappearing into the rising sun. Everyone looked puzzled. Temari included.
I elaborated, "Well, go! This is a graded assignment, you know." Most still looked rather disoriented, or at least displeased with the circumstance. But, one by one, they each leaped off, each individual child digging into the brush in search of the weapon.
Temari dropped her charade of indifference once all had gone. Good thing, too, because most of her pupils would doubtless find what she said next rather appalling. I myself was somewhat expecting it, and took it in relative stride:
"What in hell was that?!?" She sounded like many things. Annoyed. Tired. Pissed. A dying animal. As I said, many things. That meant she felt many things, most of them probably related to stress…which was almost certainly related to me.
I shrugged. "Something to occupy them." She closed her eyes. I could see her mentally counting to ten.
"They won't take too long to find it –"
"That's what you'd think, isn't it?" She narrowed her eyes.
"What do you mean…?"
I sighed. "You know the inside band? Where you hold the thing? I laced it with a section from a genjutsu scroll. It'll be tougher than you think."
I crouched down and rolled back as Temari spoke, "So then…what do we do?...Shikamaru?" She turned around, to face where I now sat, lying against the cool, wooden wall, in the shade. I smirked.
"What do you think? Just chill for a minute." I rolled over, now on my side. While I'm sure I appeared rather nonchalant at the moment, I was still dealing with her presence. I could hear Temari give in to my idea as she slumped down to sit. Still, the tension between us was thick, worthy of a sharp knife. She sighed. Probably a sigh of nostalgia. She was thinking about our past, I was sure.
And, as I gradually noticed, so was I. I frowned at myself. Had it really been that long ago?
"Shikamaru Nara, where have you been?" That was what she said first she said when she saw we walk through the door, out of the rainy night. Her face suggested anger, but her tone spoke of worry. I knew what it meant: she was masking her concern with fury.
I winced, obviously a bit too visibly.
"I was out. Don't worry about it." Well, that was the truth. I was, just and simply, out and about. I had hit a music club or two, but nothing really interesting. At least...
"I…I just worry about you..." Her rage seemed to dissolve, and she just seemed to fall into my arms... Honestly, it felt too troublesome to deal with, especially in light of current events. So I told her, maybe a bit too gruffly, "Please…just—just get off…" I recall started at the sound of my own voice. It had sounded strained, apprehensive. I hadn't done anything that bad...had I?
And that was where it went downhill. I hadn't said anything more than that, but some imperceptible radar of hers picked up a disturbance in my voice. She knew. Even if she didn't yet, I could tell she would know by the end of the night.
"Shikamaru? What's wrong?" She sounded exasperated, as if she almost didn't want to know what I had done. I didn't want to tell her. But I knew, she knew, I had to.
"Listen, Temari, I—see, we—uhh…" I cut off.
"Let's you and me sit down." There was definite choke to my voice. I already knew what was going to happen. The next few hours, I could tell would be our last. They could only end with one thing…I wiped a tear from my eyes and as we sat, and next to me, I could see the dame things forming in her eyes, rain falling out of those beautiful eyes I could spend days getting lost in.
So I told her a few things. She told me a few things. Shouts were passed back and forth for a while. Tears were exchanged openly. Things almost seemed alright to me by the end. But she disagreed. Said maybe, maybe we should see other people. And she just got up and left. Just like that, gone. Forever more lost in her desert.
I sat for hours on the same spot. Took it hard at first. Then saw logic behind it. It was mean, cruel logic, but it was invariable. It was correct. It was this: I had deserved it.
And I had never seen her again, not even heard from her. Not until just yesterday. It was a long time ago. I had really been that stupid. She had really been that beautiful. And I had really loved her that much. Which was how I became what I am. A chuunin, advancing on jounin. Through severance, I had become worthy.
More cruel logic, I thought to myself, as I turned once again in my light sleep, next to the one girl I had ever loved, next to the one person I never thought I would come to hate.
Was it worth it?
Luvs2smooch: Yay internal conflict. Review?