Chapter 9:
January 12, 2007- New York City, New York
Jacob woke up and for the first time in months, Meredith wasn't still asleep next to him. He got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. He jumped back a little when he saw Cristina, obviously forgetting that she was staying with them. Jacob looked at her and she gave him a funny look.
"Where is she?"
"Work," Cristina said flatly.
Jacob sat down next to Cristina and rubbed his eyes, trying to make himself wake up. "She loves him, doesn't she?" Jacob asked.
"No offense, but you are the only thing that is keeping my best friend here and I don't want her here. I want her in Seattle, so you're not going to get sympathy out of me. Even if I were supposed to like you, you wouldn't get it. I don't give sympathy. The only reason I'm even here is because McDreamy is too stupid to get Meredith back himself," Cristina said.
"McDreamy?" Jacob asked as he began to think that it was too early to deal with this.
"Derek. He wants her back and so far, he always gets her," Cristina said knowing that that was not what Jacob wanted to hear.
"I've been there for her for six months. How can she just ignore that and go back to him?" Jacob asked getting angry.
"She hasn't gone back to him. Not yet at least," Cristina said as she got up and walked into the living room.
Jacob was so confused and hurt at the same time. He didn't understand what Meredith was going through, but every day he felt more and more that she loved this other guy and not him.
Jacob didn't go into work. Instead he waited at home for Meredith to come. Cristina left at about noon because she was tired at staring at the wall, but Jacob stayed on his living room couch in his silent apartment, waiting. At about eight o'clock, the doorknob turned and the door opened. Jacob knew it was Meredith. She sat everything down on the small table and walked over to Jacob and sat down next to him without giving him the smallest glance of reassurance.I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
"Meredith, you need to give me some type of sign," Jacob said. Meredith didn't respond, "You need to tell me if there is something worth fight for here or not. You need to tell me if this is all just some worthless lie that I've been holding on to for no reason."
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
"I can't do this right now," Meredith mumbled as she began to cry again.
"Meredith, we have to do this now," Jacob said. Despite how much it hurt him to watch her cry, he had to do this for himself, "Our lives used to be simple, but exciting and full of love. Now everything is complicated and I have no idea what is going on. You need to explain it to me. All of it."
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
"I can't, I just, I just can't," Meredith said as the tears continued to roll down her face.
"Are you just expecting me to sit here? Just sit here and watch it pass? If that's what you want, fine. I'll watch," Jacob said, his voice getting louder.
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Meredith began to cry a little harder and Jacob knew what that meant. He calmed himself down and began to talk in a lower voice, almost disappointed sounding, "It's not going to pass, is it?"
"It will," Meredith finally forced herself to say. She was telling herself and trying to convince herself more than she was actually talking to Jacob.
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
"Are we going to be okay?" Jacob asked Meredith, really hoping that her answer would be yes, even if it were a lie.
Meredith looked at Jacob for a moment before responding. She looked at the face that she'd been looking at for six months: the face that had been there for her the entire time. She couldn't hurt him now. He didn't deserve it. "We will be fine."
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
"Are you going to be okay?" Jacob asked deciding that that was probably the better question to ask.
Meredith wiped the tears that she hadn't realized had stopped and looked back up at Jacob. "I'm already okay."
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Jacob smiled and wiped the one tear that she missed. Meredith smiled back at him as he wrapped his arms around her and brought her into a tight hug to let her know that he was there for her. When he let her go, she wasn't ready to be let go of. She looked back up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She took one last deep look into his green eyes and brought her lips to his. Jacob kissed her back and wrapped his arms around her again. They continued to kiss as Jacob lifted her off the couch and carried her to their bedroom while he continued to kiss her.
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Cristina walked back into Meredith's apartment and quickly learned that Meredith didn't leave one of 'bad habits' back in Seattle. She walked to their bedroom door and knocked on it, "You two do remember I'm here, right? At least be polite." Silence filled the house and Cristina smiled as she walked into the living room and turned on the television.
A few minutes later Meredith walked out of her room with her Dartmouth shirt on and sweat pants. She sat down on the couch with Cristina, "You know you could have just left and came back later."
Cristina smiled, "I could have, but that would have been more of a George thing to do. Not very Cristina like," Cristina said as she took a handful of popcorn from a bowl in front of her.
"Point taken," Meredith said taking small popcorn as well.
"So you're still in denial?" Cristina asked.
"Denial about what?"
"Loving Derek."
Meredith rolled her eyes, "I don't love Derek. I love Jacob."
"I'm sorry Meredith, but Jacob and Meredith really just doesn't sound right. See you can shorten Meredith and Derek to MerDer, but how do you shorten Jacob and Meredith? It just isn't natural," Cristina said taking more popcorn.
"It doesn't matter if you can shorten it," Meredith said.
"Yes it does."
"Then what about Burke and Cristina? How do you shorten that?" Meredith asked.
"Burktina," Cristina said in a tone that made Meredith feel stupid for not already knowing that.
Meredith walked back towards her bedroom. When she opened her door she thought that for a moment she saw Derek lying on her bed instead of Jacob. She got confused for a moment and apparently got a funny look upon her face that Jacob responded to, "Are you okay?"
Meredith rubbed her forehead and walked over to Jacob, "Yeah, just my mind playing tricks on me."
"Ready to get back to what we started?" Jacob asked with a devilish smile on his face.
All of a sudden, Meredith really wasn't in the mood anymore. And Meredith not being in the mood for sex was a pretty rare thing. She wasn't sure how to tell Jacob this, so she decided to use Cristina, "Well Cristina is just in the other room. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable."
Jacob noticed the change in her tone of voice. She had the tone that she used when she wasn't telling him the truth. Or at least not all of the truth. Jacob decided not to bug her about it and just smiled, "Then we should get some sleep. It's getting late."
Meredith smiled back at Jacob and got back into bed. She faced the wall and felt Jacob's arms wrap around her. She closed her eyes and couldn't help but see Derek. Her head started to hurt again, but she fell asleep anyways.