A/N: So it's been about a year since I ud'd this story. I've been working pretty hard on Saving you or Saving Me and another story that I haven't posted yet. It's probably my favorite story that I've written so I'm taking my time with it. I got a little bit of writers block and finally decided it was time to finish up this one. This chapter is more of a journal entry from Peyton to show where she's at in her life a year later. I hope you enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think. I have another chapter ready to post after this one!! SO ENJOY!!
Chapter 14 – What is normal?
You know... I used to sit and wonder what it was like to have a normal life. But when I think about it all I find myself doing is wondering what a "normal" life truly is. Is it one where your happy and you never fight with anyone. Or is it one where its not like the story book romances on tv. You do have fights and there will be tough times in your life, but through it all... isn't that what makes your life normal. Then why is it that I feel like I am leadding a life thats the furthest from normal as it can get?
I'll never know the answer to my questions. All I can do is live my life the way the cards are dealt to me. I have lived a tough life. My father was never around and my mother died when I was young. That's normal things in life that happen to me. "People always leave" right? Well why is it that when I actually want them to leave they stick around and I'm the one left running? Or why is it that I was kidnapped and held hostage somewhere in-between nowhere. Or why is it that somehow... it kept happening. No matter where I was or where I went or who was with me, they always found me.
I guess nothing in life is truly ever fair. I wasn't put here on this earth to live an easy life. I was put here to face the challenges that life throws at me every day. Be it guys, or love, or money, or friends and family, everything is a challenge. You just have to take it in stride. At least thats what I was supposed to do. Face my biggest fears head on and learn from them. Then why did I run?
A year ago to the day I left the place that was the source of all my grief. There was some good things that came out of there sure. But in the end, it just hurt to think about everything. Even when I wasn't thinking about it, it would find its way into my thoughts just by seeing something or someone that reminded me of the past. In the end... It all boils down to one person that made me run. Lucas Scott. The boy who saved my life and showed me that it is possible to love and trust again. That their really is good in this world. But was it to late?
After that night in the hotel I wasn't the same. I couldn't bring myself to be happy and go out and have fun. I didn't want to leave my house, afraid that if I did something bad would happen. Lucas didn't mind. He'd sit with me all day doing nothing at all. He did it because he wanted to be with me, he wanted to help me. I was beyond repair. The only way to become normal again was to leave. At least thats what I thought. I did leave. I found myself moving further and further south. Settling in this small town in north Florida.
It's no Tree Hill that's for sure, but it'll do. I don't have many friends. I have one to be exact. I work with her. Her names Brandy. She's pretty cool. She's really the only one I have that I can talk to. I haven't talked to anyone back home since I left. I felt it best to just drop that part of my life for a while. I got calls and texts from them, but I just couldn't return them. Part of me just wanted to talk to them so bad, but I knew if I did I wouldn't ever get the help I truly needed. The main part being a break. I needed to just get away from it all. Get away from the life I had and the torment it dealt me.
I could be happier, but for now this'll do. I was starting to think I wanted to go back home and at least visit, but I didn't think I'd be welcome. After all, I did desert the only people that ever truly cared about me. I left a boy I loved more than anything, yet never told. I know I broke his heart and in turn it broke my heart. It'll never be fully repaired until I talk to him, but at this point in my life that's not possible. So I wrote him a letter instead. I mailed it last week. I'm sure he's got it by now.
I also wrote one to Brooke and Haley. They deserve to know why I left and how hard it was for me to leave. None of the letters have a return address on them and I even drove to GA just to mail them. It's pathetic I know, but I can't risk having them find me. So until I get the nerve to actually show my face around there again, that's the best I can do.