Just so you guys know, the italics in this one are Meredith's thoughts.

Thanks for reading!!!

Chapter 16:

January 14, 2007- Seattle, Washington

"Do you ever think about Meredith?" George asked sitting in Izzie's apartment.

"Every time I get my rent bill," she joked. She looked over at George and saw that he was serious. She stopped washing the few dirty dishes and sat down at the dimly lit table next to him. "Honestly George? I think about her all the time."

"I feel like we did something wrong. Like we weren't there for her enough. Friends are supposed to be there when things go wrong," George said.

"But everyone was too worried about me," Izzie confessed, "I don't know if she would have told us even if we had been focused on her. Meredith doesn't always tell us things. She wasn't going to tell us about Derek. She didn't tell us about her Mom."

"But that was when we were all still getting to know each other. Maybe if I hadn't flipped out after everything happened between us, she would have felt comfortable telling me," George said.

"George, how can anyone feel comfortable saying that they are leaving everything behind and not coming back?" Izzie asked.

January 14, 2007- New York City, New York

"Why is he here? Doesn't he get that you don't want anything to do with him?" Jacob asked after Meredith told him about everything with Derek.

Maybe because I had sex with him last night and we made out in an elevator. Meredith thought to herself before actually responding to Jacob. "Derek isn't the kind of man that gives up easily." And he's not the kind of guy you give up if you don't have to. Meredith began to remember her conversation with Mark when she had actually said that.

"He seems like he's given up before," Jacob said.

"I guess," Meredith said. Well this isn't an awkward conversation at all. No, it just seems like I'm talking to Izzie and not my boyfriend of six months. No, that's not weird at all…

"I'll talk to him. I'll tell him that you've moved on with me and that he needs to go back from where he came from," Jacob said as he got off the bed.

Shit. Derek's going to kick his ass. "You don't have to do that," Meredith said, "I can talk to him. I really have yet to actually talk to him since he got here. I haven't really explained things to him."

"No, this is what boyfriends do. I'll find him at the hospital," Jacob said walking out of the bedroom.

Meredith put her head back on her pillow and looked at the ceiling. Shit.

Derek walked out of surgery, knowing he had to talk to Meredith. They always tend to forget the talking part. They're really good at the sex and love part, but talking? That doesn't seem to be their strong suit. Hence the reason that they ever fell apart to begin with. Granted this time Derek didn't have a hidden wife, Meredith just had a boyfriend that they were both very aware of.

Derek walked down the hall and ran into Meg. He still didn't know this girl very well, but it seemed to him that she was supportive of Derek, which he kind of found odd. "Hello, Dr. Lord."

"Dr. Shepherd," Meg said, "So how are things with Meredith? She didn't come in today and she hasn't been very talkative with me lately."

"I think Meredith and I will be okay. It'll take a lot of work and well this Jacob guy is still in the picture, but I think I might be able to get her to come home," Derek said with a smile.

"That's the downside," Meg said, "She has to leave New York."

"Sorry. I understand you guys are good friends, but Meredith's life is in Seattle. All of her other friends, the job that she loved, her Mother, and well me," Derek said realizing that this must suck for Meg.

"Yeah, I get it. I just hope when she leaves, she treats me better then she did her friends in Seattle," Meg said.

"Meredith was scared then. This time she'll be leaving on good terms and she won't be running away from anything," Derek said before he walked away from Meg, to get ready to leave the hospital.

Digging a hole and the walls are caving in
Behind me air's getting thin but I'm trying
I'm breathing in
Come find me
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you

Meredith knew that she should probably get out of bed, considering the fact that she'd been there all day, but she couldn't make herself. Her pillow still smelt like Derek and she didn't want to risk the scent going away. She was beginning to confuse herself. When she was with Jacob, she wanted to be with Jacob and when she was with Derek, she wanted to be with Derek. She couldn't decide which one she actually wanted. She probably should take in consideration that she couldn't get Derek's face out of her mind, but she could easily forget about Jacob, but then again she wasn't completely ready to admit that. After all, Meredith always has been the Queen of denial.

And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you

Meredith wasn't proud of it, but she had to admit that ever since she left Seattle, she's thought about Derek every night before she's drifted off to sleep. She's even dreamed about him most nights. Mainly it was just dreams of happy memories, but they still continued to play in her mind.

I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you

Meredith decided that she had to be honest with herself. She told Derek that she loved him. That meant that she did, right? Yes, okay it does. She loved him. And she missed Seattle. But what happens if she goes back with him and Addison shows up? Or some other wife or secret that he hasn't told her yet? What then?

And I hate the phone
But I wish you'd call
Thought being alone
Was better than was better than

Meredith began to notice how much time she had been spending alone. She would spend the late nights and the mornings with Jacob, but the rest of the day she was genrally alone, especially lately. She had stopped hanging out with Meg since Derek got here and turned everything upside down. But for some reason, she couldn't help but feel happy that he did.

Right as she thought that, she heard her front door open. She was a little anxious to see Jacob, just to see how many times Derek punched him before he gave up. She stayed in bed, knowing that he'd come back there: especially if he was bleeding. Evern though she wanted to see what had happened to him, she really didn't want to talk to him. Solution? Pretending to be asleep. Meredith pulled the covers over her again and closed her eyes. She heard his foot steps coming closer. She could tell that he was in the room and then they stopped. She waited for them to start again, but they didn't.

And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
Can't get my mind off of you

She opened her eyes slighty just to get a peak and she saw two legs in front of her. She opened her eyes further and her eyes followed the man up from his legs, to his chest, to his smile, to his eyes, and then his hair. "Derek?" Meredith asked.

Derek had a childish grin on his face, "Did you really think you could fooll me? You are horrible fake sleeper."

Meredith sat up and looked at him, him and his smile. He leaned over towards her and kissed her. He planned it as a gentle, quick kiss, but Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down on the bed with her, realizing how much she really did miss him after she left.

And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you