Chapter 19:

May 29, 1997- Boston, Massachusetts

"Are you excited? You are graduating high school today!" Ellis said after waking up her daughter.

"Do I have to go? I really don't want to go on stage and act like I actually liked anything or anyone in high school," Meredith said as she stumbled out of bed.

"Of course you do! And afterwards we can go out for dinner. We can celebrate," Ellis said actually sounding sincere.

"Really?" Meredith asked as her face lit her. Her mother nodded and Meredith suddenly got a bust of energy and was ready to graduate.

"Meredith Grey," the announcer said as the long drawn out applause continued. No one was actually cheering for anyone special anymore. All of the claps and cheers were just smearing together. Meredith walked on stage and actually had an unexpected smile upon her face. She shook her principal's hand and took her diploma. As she walked across the stage to go back to her seat, she looked out at the large crowd. She had seen her mother sit down so she knew exactly where to look. All Meredith wanted to see was her mother's face. Smiling. Proud. For once, maybe her mother would be proud.

As she reached the steps on the other side of the stage her eyes fell upon one empty seat. Almost every seat in the auditorium was taken. Except that one. The program with everyone's names inside was on top of the seat. Meredith knew what had happened. Her mother had left. She had left to save someone else's life instead of paying attention to her own daughter's.

Meredith sat down in between two other classmates. She didn't really like either one of them and they were luckily too involved in their own cheering to notice her unusual silence. She wiped a tear from her eye. She didn't know why she was upset. This was nothing new. Just another day, another disappointment, and another broken promise.

January 15, 2007- New York City, New York

Meredith's eyes fluttered open. She could feel the warmth of skin against her cheek and the slowly rise and fall of breathing. Her fingertips slowly grazed the skin and she immediately knew who it belonged to. She pulled her head away and looked at Derek's face. Lately he always seemed to be beside her and she was really beginning to get used to it.

"I just thought you shouldn't be alone. You were upset last night and I know you haven't dealt with it. I knew your dreams would haunt you," Derek said as he gently grazed her hair with his fingertips.

Meredith smiled at him. "How'd you get in?"

"Not only are you bad at closing the door, but you also tend to forget to lock it. That might not be the best thing to do when you live in New York City. It's just a suggestion," Derek said smiling as Meredith cuddled close to him again. "I'm sorry about that. I just hate Mark so much."

"I know, but I love you and besides, Mark has a girlfriend."

"Really?"

"That's what he said at least," Meredith said leading them back into a silence. Not an awkward silence, a comfortable one. The kind that you don't want to break even if you have words just sitting on the tip of your tongue.

Despite how Derek could just sit here caressing Meredith's hair and feeling her fingertips slowly run against his skin, he knew that he had to get Meredith to talk. If he didn't, she would just hold it all in until she got hold of a bottle of tequila and he really didn't want to have to talk to her about it once she had consumed that much tequila. "What was that phone call about?"

"It was from the Chief," Meredith mumbled, knowing that this conversation was not going to be one that she enjoyed. "It was about my mother." Derek began to have a feeling where this was going as he felt Meredith tense up and her fingers pause. "I haven't seen her in over six months. I just left her there. I didn't ever say good-bye to my own mother. I just kept sending in the payments to the nursing home." Meredith stopped talking for a moment, but Derek didn't say a word. He knew she was thinking and deciding how she was going to say what was on her mind. He knew he needed to give her time. "The nursing home called Richard. They called him and not me because he was the only one who visited her. He visited her everyday and it seemed like I had just fallen off a cliff. They didn't even both to call her own daughter," Meredith said as tears began to fall down her face, landing in a small puddle on Derek's chest.

"It's okay," he whispered into her ear as he pulled her closer into his body, trying to comfort her in any way he could.

"I'm a horrible daughter. I was on the other side of the country too busy with my own life to be there for my Mom. I was so consumed in my own problems that they didn't even think I was important enough to call when she died," Meredith said crying harder into Derek.

Derek held Meredith tightly without saying a word, almost afraid of making her feel worse. She only let her guard down like this sometimes and it was usually when they were on bad terms and he had made her feel this way. She was showing him and practically telling him that she was flawed, but he couldn't help but feel like he was falling even more in love with her, if that was possible.

Derek had to fight back the urge to kiss her. He wanted to so badly, but she needed this time for herself. As soon as that thought passed through his mind, Meredith pulled herself away from him so that she could look at him. Her tear-stained face broke his heart. She wiped away a tear and kissed him gently. She pulled away again and whispered into his ear, "Thank you. Thank you for being here this time."

Derek smiled thinking back to the elevator when in between tears she had asked him why he hadn't been there for her. Apparently, he was finally figuring out how to do this right: how to be with Meredith and not screw it up. He looked into Meredith's eyes and got lost in them as a small smile crept upon her face. He pulled her back down on him and kissed her.

Derek wanted her so badly, but he kept telling himself to wait. He needed to let her recover from this whole thing. She had to deal with her emotional issues with her Mother first. Derek kept telling himself those things, but as her lips grazed his, every thought other then her kiss slipped his mind.