Chapter 23:
January 18, 2007- Seattle, Washington
Meredith woke up, obviously not happy about it, by her cell phone ringing for the fourth time. She had tried to ignore it the first three times, but now Derek was telling her to get it. She moaned as she forced herself out of bed and wrapped a sheet around her body. She walked over to their dresser and picked up the vibrating and ringing cell phone.
"Hello?" Meredith said in a groggy voice.
"I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you and then sell your body parts for money and I'm not going to feel guilty about it at all," was the response she got.
"Cristina?" Meredith said in a confused tone as she sat back down on the bed and felt Derek's fingers creep around her waist.
"Who did you think it was? Your lover boy who is probably in bed next to you?"
Meredith looked at Derek and smiled, "I'm sorry. I called you, but I just got your voice mail."
"You left me in an apartment with your freaked ex-boyfriend. He is finally clueing into the fact that all of your stuff is gone because you are gone. Even George figured it out sooner last time you did this," Cristina said reminding Meredith that this running thing was beginning to become a habit.
"Derek bought you a plan ticket. You leave later tonight. I left it by your bags," Meredith said, trying to change the topic.
"Yeah I got it."
"I'm going back to work today. Derek talked the Chief into letting me be one of the Nazi's victims again," Meredith said smiling at the fact that she did get to go to work in a few hours.
"That's so not fair. You are going to be in surgery today and I'm stuck in New York. I hate you. I just hope I've made that very clear. I hate you."
"I know, Cristina, but I've got to get ready so I'll talk to you when you get back, okay?" Meredith said.
"Yeah, but have you talked to Izzie and Bambi yet?"
Meredith sighed as the memories were brought back to the surface of her mind, "I'll deal with them later."
Cristina knew what Meredith meant. It obviously hadn't gone well. "What could you expect Meredith? What you did was pretty messed up."
"I have to go," Meredith said trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible, "Bye," Meredith said before hanging up or giving Cristina the chance to say anything.
"That didn't sound like a pleasant conversation," Derek commented as Meredith curled back into his arms.
"I thought it went rather well actually. Especially compared to Izzie and George," Meredith said.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Derek asked.
"Does it look like I do?" Meredith asked, noticing that it sounded harsher than she had planned.
"Never mind then," Derek said getting up and leaving Meredith on the bed as he went to take a shower.
Meredith walked into Seattle Grace, still not believing that she was even back in Seattle. She was holding Derek's hand, not caring who knew that they were together. She'd been the topic of the gossip wheel before and she didn't care if she was again. Now Derek was hers and there wasn't anything wrong with it or anything that anyone could do about it.
She finally let go of Derek when she got to the locker room. He gave her a quick kiss and then headed down the hall. Meredith stared at the door. She could hear Izzie, Alex, and George inside. She couldn't decide how much she really wanted to go through that door. She knew she wanted to be at work, but she couldn't decide if she wanted to deal with the yelling or the painful silence that might await her inside.
She bit her lip and decided that she couldn't stand outside forever and slowly opened the door. She shuffled through the crowded locker room towards her locker. She kept her head to the locker, avoiding the stares she was receiving. Everyone was looking at her. She began to take back the thought that she didn't mind being the topic of conversation at the hospital. She actually hated it.
She put on her scrubs and shoved everything in her locker, aware of the fact that the movement and sound from Bailey's other interns still had not restarted. They all just watched her. Meredith stood there for a moment, staring at the locker she had just shut. She opened her mouth to say something, but as no words came to her mind, she turned around and walked out of the locker room.
"Was that Meredith?" Alex asked, visibly confused.
"McDreamy brought her back," Izzie said disgusted.
"That's good, right?" Alex asked. All he received were looks for answers before Izzie and George got up to find Bailey, but he didn't understand at all.
June 28, 2006- Seattle, Washington
Meredith packed the last bag that the airline would let her take and looked at the boxes she had packed to mail to herself. She then looked around her now bare room. Everything used to be completely cluttered and messy. She had liked it that way. Besides she was an intern, she didn't really have time to clean.
She heard footsteps on the stairs and quickly got out of her room, closing the door behind her. She wasn't about to let anyone see what it looked like in there. She sighed in relief when she saw Izzie emerge from the staircase.
"What's wrong with you?" Izzie asked in response to the gloomy look upon Meredith's face.
Meredith forced a smile to surface, "Nothing. Why would you think something's wrong?"
"You are a horrible liar. What's wrong?" Izzie insisted.
"Nothing. I promise," Meredith lied.
"Fine, don't tell me. You know I will find out eventually," Izzie said before heading towards her bedroom.
Meredith knew Izzie was right. She was going to find out and she was going to find out really soon.
Meredith ignored the flashbacks that continued to come to her mind. She didn't want to think about when she left Seattle, but she was beginning to feel as though she was going to be forced to. As the other interns began to gather near her and Bailey, she knew that they were all thinking about when she left as well.
Look to the clock on the wall,
Hands hardly moving at all.
Can't stand the state that I'm in
Sometimes it feels like the walls closing in.
Izzie walked into the house, still completely confused. Meredith left this morning, but she wasn't at rounds. Izzie had called her at lunch, but Meredith's cell was turned off and no one answered the house phone. She slowly made her way upstairs, completely worn out by the day at the hospital. An eerie silence was over the house. Izzie walked towards Meredith's room. The door was left ajar.
She walked inside and found George sitting on the bare mattress with his head in his hands. There were silent tears slipping between his fingers. Izzie couldn't believe her eyes. She looked around and everything seemed bare. The dresser drawers were all partly open, but they were empty. There were boxes against a wall, all perfectly packed and taped shut. There was nothing that resembled Meredith in the room anymore. Suddenly the reality of the situation hit her and she sat down next to George. Slowly the tears came.
O lord what can I say
I am so sad since you went away
Time, time ticking on me
Alone is the last place I wanted to be
Lord what can I say
Derek laid on his bed. There were tears rolling down his face as Addison walked in the room. He paid her no attention as her eyes left him and looked at the papers next to him that had a pen lying on them. She examined the papers without touching them as her eyes stared at the fresh black ink. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and splash against the bed. She turned around and walked out.
Derek sat there still in disbelief that he had lost her. He had already signed the papers before he even knew she was leaving. All he had wanted to do was tell her, but now she was gone. He had lost her. Again.
Try to bury my troubles away
Drown my sorrows the same way
It seems that no matter how hard I try
It feel like there's something just missing inside
Richard sat back in his chair at his office. He looked at the transfer papers. On top the name 'New York General' was printed followed by many meaningless words. All he had to do was sign them. Her transfer was basically done. The Chief at New York General had already signed the papers and faxed them to Richard. He began to wonder if he should have warned Derek. Maybe if he had broken Meredith's trust, Derek could have stopped her. At least while she was here he could keep his eye on her, but now he couldn't. Now he had lost the only real connection to the love of his life; who he had already lost years before.
O lord what can I say
I am so sad since you went away
Time, time ticking on me
Alone is the last place I wanted to be
Lord what can I say
Izzie and George uncomfortably sat down in the Chief's office. They knew that this was going to be about Meredith, but that didn't make it any better. The last time Izzie had been in his office was after she had quit and the Chief had made her come back to work. That was a hard meeting to be in and now she was being forced back in here.
George and Izzie were silent as the Chief told them of the instructions Meredith had left. They were supposed to sell the house. Sell the house that they were living in and keep the money. Meredith didn't want it. They were also supposed to mail all of her boxes to the address that she would be giving the Chief as soon as she found a place to live. Then they were asked not to try and find her. If they didn't want to do the things she had asked, he told them he would do them, except for the last instruction. That one they had to follow. They agreed that they would grant Meredith's one last wish and walked out of the office.
Oh lord what can I say
Miranda Bailey walked out of the Chief's office. She silently began to regret saying the things she had about Meredith being absent at rounds this morning. She had lost an intern. It was like losing a child. You take them in and show them tough love, hoping that they will make something of themselves. You aren't supposed to be friends with them or even like them, but even if you don't notice it, over time you begin to bond with them. But now Meredith Grey was no longer Bailey's intern. She'd lost her.
How many rules can I break
How many lies can I make
How many roads must I turn
To find me a place where the bridge doesn't burn
Cristina sighed and sat down in the on call room. Her person had left her. She wasn't even that surprised. She knew Meredith wasn't happy, but she didn't completely expect her to go this far. At least not this far without telling anyone. Usually if anyone knew anything, Cristina knew. Sometimes Meredith wouldn't even tell her. Cristina just knew. But not this. Not even Cristina could have really predicted this. Maybe it was because no one besides Meredith could feel her pain. Maybe it was because Cristina had ignored Meredith's pain and figured it was just her overreacting and that she'd get over it. More than ever, right now, Cristina needed her person. And she knew her person needed her
O lord what can I say
I am so sad since you went away
Time, time ticking on me
Alone is the last place I wanted to be
Lord what can I say
Derek walked through the hospital. It felt lonely without her. He couldn't force himself to walk into an elevator. Too many memories. The entire hospital was full of memories. Memories were things that he couldn't handle. He walked down a hall and saw an open door. He peaked into it and thought about the empty exam room. Once again: Memories. A few tears rushed down his face. He quickly brushed them away before hurrying towards his office.
There were papers on his desk that he hadn't expected to see. They were signed. He knew he should have been happy, but he couldn't decide what the point was. He wanted the divorce so that he could be with Meredith. Now how could he be with Meredith when he had no idea where she was? Derek sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands as, once again, he began to cry.
O lord what can I say
I am so sad since you went away
Time, time ticking on me
Alone is the last place I wanted to be
Lord what can I say
"Okay Stevens you are with Burke, Karev you are with Torres, and O'Malley you are in the pit," Bailey said ignoring the tension between the interns. They all walked off, only Alex giving Meredith a sympathetic look, which she returned with a halfhearted smile. Meredith waited with Bailey. She was expected some type of lecture. She knew Bailey would yell at her. Not only for her leaving, but for her just prancing right back into the hospital as if she never left. She knew she deserved it as well. "Welcome back, Meredith. It felt weird without you here. Now go, you're with Shepherd." Bailey smiled at Meredith and then walked away.
Meredith was surprised that she had gotten off so easily. She knew that wasn't going to happen with her friends. They were going to hold this against her for the rest of her life and honestly: could she blame them? Not only did she leave, but also she kicked them out of her house. They made back more money then they ever put into it once they sold it, but still. She knew that they felt as empty then as she had once she had left.