Chapter 27:

January 18, 2007- Seattle, Washington

Derek walked into Joe's and found that he was unfortunately right. He saw the love of his life sitting across the room at the bar with many empty shot glasses in front of her. She threw her head back and downed another before Derek took another step closer to her. She seemed to be in her own world, not sensing or noticing anything that was going on around her. Derek sat down next to her and he began to wonder if she just hadn't noticed him or didn't care. She took another full shot and downed it before placing it down. Derek gently put his hand on hers that was relaxing on the bar. He was afraid of how she was going to react considering the fact that she was clearly drunk, but all she did was look at Derek.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

Her eyes were blood shot and full of sadness and confusion. The picture of her like this almost broke Derek's heart as he tried to pretend like it wasn't affecting him as much as it really was. Meredith looked away from him and focused back down at the empty glasses in front of her with his words running through her head: And not after a bottle of tequila.

"Come on Meredith, let's go home," Derek said as he put down a few bills and stood up. He looked back at Meredith and noticed that she hadn't moved. "Meredith?"

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

"No," she said quietly.

"What?" Derek asked confused.

"No, you don't have to do this. You don't have to pretend like this is okay. I know it's not," Meredith said in a weak voice.

"Meredith, that doesn't matter. All that matters is that we get you home and to bed," Derek said as he put his hand over hers again.

"No, you don't have to. I'm a train wreck. I know that. I don't want to drag you down with me. And trust me. I know I'm going down," Meredith said with no emotion in her monotone voice.

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

"Meredith?" Derek said forcing her to look at him, "I miss the happy Meredith. The Meredith I fell in love with and I'm willing to do anything to get her back. Not only because I know I'm the one who hurt that Meredith, but because I love you."

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

"I don't think that Meredith will be coming back any time soon," Meredith said pulling hand away from Derek and picking up the last shot before her. She drank it and looked at Derek, "I prefer to be drunk."

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

Derek was so confused. She had seemed upset in the on-call room, but she left smiling. He couldn't figure out what had brought on this mood swing of hers. He slowly grabbed Meredith's wrist and gently pulled her off of her barstool. She didn't stop him or say anything. She acted as though she had no control over her limbs and all she could do was wait for Derek to make her move. He brought her to her feet and she looked at him, waiting for his next move.

"Meredith? What happened?" he asked looking at her pitiful looking face.

"I'm not telling you," Meredith said.

Derek sighed in defeat. "Come on, let's go," he said again as he helped Meredith outside of the bar. He just kept hoping that he'd figure this out so he could help her, but most importantly he needed to figure it out soon.

"I left you. Why are you doing this?" Meredith asked as Derek sat down in his car, ready to take her home.

"Meredith, I love you. And I can't hate you for something that I did to you," Derek said regretting that he had brought that up.

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Meredith looked out of the window and rested her head on her hand, "Why do you want me?"

Derek was a little surprised by her question. "Why not? You are smart, beautiful, loving, have ineffectual fists and wonderful smelling hair," he answered smiling to himself at the last two reasons.

"What about all my problems?" Meredith asked.

"They are nothing compared to your strengths," Derek said as he turned the car on and backed out of the parking space. He looked over at Meredith before leaving the parking lot and saw a depressed look upon her face. He wrapped his hand around hers and smiled at her, "And besides, I love you."

Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go