Okay, I barely made it, but I wrote this chapter in less than a week! Yay!! Ok, I apologize in advance for not making any sense in this note thingy. It's because it's 4:30am right now and I think my eyeballs are about to fall out.

I'm pretty happy that I actually finished this chapter, it was a toughie to write. It's a bit longer than the first three chapters. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, so to cover all of my bases I will say that I'm sorry and that I think more of the upcoming chapters will probably be about this length. Did that make any sense?

Good grief, I'm losing it. Anyways, thanks for reading and for all of those who are reviewing, keep it up! I'm really honored that people are reading my story. Ok, my vision's starting to go, I need to catch some z's.

Alrighty, I don't own Teen Titans, it's fricking cold in Manitoba, I'm tired, and that's all I have to say for now!

Enjoy!

-Liss

Chapter 4. No Way Out.

The loss of self that accompanied venturing into another's mind was by now familiar, but Raven would never be comfortable with the feeling. For just a few seconds after entering somebody else's conscience, she was overwhelmed by who they were. Every thought, every feeling, every memory assaulted her, and for an instant, she found it difficult to differentiate her own thoughts and feelings from the jumble. She'd never actually forgotten who she was, but it always took her longer than she would have liked to remember.

This time, however, was different. She had come into Beast Boy's mind expecting to lose herself momentarily as she had every single time she'd entered another person's mind. But here...here she felt more like herself than she ever had before. She was Raven. Always, she was Raven and nobody else. She was taciturn and distant and oftentimes cold, but she was who she was, and for once in her life she didn't regret being that person. Yes, she was cold, but here the coldness melted, burned from her by the warmth of the fire inside of him. It had saved her so many times, this flame, and now it embraced her fully, delighting her with its blazing joy. She hadn't known, had never seen just how beautiful his fire was. Now she let it wash over her, let herself melt in it completely. She was tempted to stay there forever, but remembered the reason she had come here, and resumed her human form.

She could take any form that she wanted to as her soul-self, but she chose to be herself so that Beast Boy would recognize her. Shoulder length purple hair accompanied by a high hairline made her easily distinguishable in any crowd. Nobody would believe that she didn't dye it, not that she cared. The topic had never come up with the Titans. Nor had the question of whether her large purple eyes were the result of colored contacts. They weren't. Her ashy grey skin was a reflection of how she had been taught to control her emotions. Her long legs, wide hips and slender torso were all lean and muscled from years of fighting and training. Calling up her image in her minds' eye, she took her normal form, dropping softly to the ground. She looked around in surprise, slightly confused at first as to her surroundings.

Raven hadn't been quite sure what to expect when she'd gone into Beast Boy's head. She knew that it wouldn't be anything like the terrain of her own mind. Everybody's mind had a physical representation, even though most people didn't have the means of accessing it that Raven did. Generally people's minds tended to take the form of the place they felt the safest, hers being a fairly large exception to this rule.

She hadn't expected to feel so comfortable in Beast Boy's head. She hadn't expected to feel so...safe.

She was standing in the common area of Titan's Tower. He's definitely not the most original person in the world, she thought as she reached out to sense his presence in the replica of the tower. She found him in the last place she thought he'd be.

Beast Boy was in her room-or where her room was in the actual tower at least. Raven's heart pounded against her ribcage as she made her way towards him. She'd never thought she could miss something so simple, something as small as the presence of the 'green annoyance', so much. Until this moment, she hadn't realized just how important he was to her life. To all of their lives. He was the fire, he was the laughter, he was the hope that tied them all together.

Raven supressed a burst of happiness when she sensed him. Beast Boy's emotions couldn't affect her here in his mind, but this was not a good place for her to lose control of her own emotions.

In the medical bay of Titan's Tower, Beast Boy cradled in her lap, her lips twitched up at the corners, her body expressing the color that her soul could not.

The three remaining Titans were trying to find something to do to occupy their time. Robin had been the first to leave the medical bay, unable to sit and wait any longer. He had to do something productive, had to make himself feel like something other than a useless lump. That was something he was not familiar with, and never cared to be. There had to be something he could do. He was sure that Raven was doing her best, but it couldn't hurt to do a little research of his own.

Starfire had followed him just a few minutes later. She knew where he would be, knew where he would go to solve a seemingly unsolvable problem. She walked down the dark corridor that led to all of her least favorite rooms of the tower.

The first door led to the evidence room, where shadows of evil danced every way she turned and taunted her with the memories they brought up. Next she came to the vault where Robin kept his remaining Red X equipment.

Shuddering involuntarily as she walked by the vault, Starfire made her way to the end of the hall. The room there was intended to be where they kept records of all of their battles and all details of their lives, but Robin had converted it into his own private study.

Newspaper articles were pinned to every square inch of the room, a grotesque charade of wallpaper. Relics from times that she would rather forget were littered across the desk and shelves. The light of a single lamp only made the room seem darker, disappearing before it reached the corners of the room and casting shadows that were even more garish than those in the evidence room.

"Robin?" she called softly from the doorframe, unwilling to enter the room. He was sitting at the desk with his back to her, illuminated by the dull white glow of a computer screen.

"Robin," she said again when he didn't answer. He grunted incoherently, not turning around. Starfire hesitantly stepped across the threshold and into the room. Glancing over his shoulder, she saw that he was scrolling through lists of symptoms on a medical site.

"Robin," she said for a third time, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Please, let us leave this place. Raven will find-"

"I can't just sit and do nothing Starfire," Robin snapped and stood abruptly to face her. Starfire took a step back, hurt by his sudden agression.

"You cannot do everything Robin. Nobody can," she whispered, afraid that he would become more angry with her.

"I'm doing more than you are," he muttered, turning to sit back down. He was stopped when Star grabbed his arm, using more force than she ever had before. Turning around to meet her eyes, he saw that she was furious. Glowing green eyes met his, and narrowed.

"I am doing what is right. I am spending what may be Beast Boy's last-," she stopped, choking on the words that she'd been about to say, and continued, "I am spending the time with Beast Boy. You do not presume to tell..." she stopped suddenly, anger fading as quickly as it had come. She realized why Robin was here, why he was fruitlessly searching for answers.

"Robin, you are...afraid?" she asked gently, loosening her grip on his arm. Robin looked for a moment as though he wanted to yell at her again. Instead, he seemed to deflate, all of his manic energy fading.

"I don't know what to do Star," he admitted, ashamed of his own inability, "I can't lose a member of my team, but there's nothing I can do to help. I don't know what I'd do if I lost..."

"A friend?" Star finished his sentence. Robin nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the dark floor.

"Then this...is something which you must do?" Starfire indicated the glowing computer. Again, he nodded.

"Then I will leave you now," she said, resigned, "Remember please, that you will forever be full of the regretting if you do not see Beast Boy again." On that note, she walked away from the dimly lit room, away from the articles plastered on the walls, away from the dust covered relics of times passed. Walked away from the vault. Walked away from the memories. Walked away from him.

"Beast Boy?" Raven called into the dark room. He was in the farthest corner, rummaging through one of her trunks. She saw his back straighten and his ears prick. He turned to see her and his face lit up with his signature grin.

"Raven!" he cried, jumping up and running across the room towards her, then stopped suddenly, "Oh no! They got you too? This is a disaster. I've been looking through your spellbooks to see if I could find a way out of here but they're all totally blank, maybe now that you're here you could help me, I don't know where we are, it looks like the tower but it isn't-"

Raven ended his spiel with a raised hand. Beast Boy stopped and took a huge breath.

"What do you mean they got me too?" she asked him. He shrugged and pointed to an open window. Raven reached her hand into the white field to find that there was resistance. There was no way out.

"I thought you'd know. I've been trying to find a way out for hours. Maybe Mad Mod or somebody brought us here. Or maybe Mumbo-" He stopped as Raven shook her head.

"Do you know where we are Raven? Because I'd really like to know," he asked. Raven could hear the beginnings of panic edging through his voice.

"Do you remember what happened?" Looking at him, she could see that he did, but was denying it all.

"All I know is that when I woke up, nobody was here, and there's no way out," he replied. Meeting his eyes, Raven knew that he really wanted to believe that some crazy villain had kidnapped them and trapped them here. She would have to break it to him, force him to remember. She would have to resume the role of heartless messenger.

She was so tired of being the one to wipe away his smile, to wipe away his happiness. Most of the time it was her own fault, she had torn him down every chance she had received, and now regretted it more fully than anything else in her life. But this wasn't about her, it was about finding out how to help him. Taking a deep breath, she cupped her hands in front of her. Dark energy pooled in them, reminding her of water in the night. Holding her hands out to Beast Boy, she allowed her memories of the previous day to reflect in the dark pool so that he could see.

She watched his reactions as he saw himself take on Cinderblock single handed. As he saw himself, through her eyes, collapse after the battle. Her throat tightened to see him smile slightly as he watched himself embrace her in the hallway outside his door. Beast Boy's eyes widened as he witnessed the Titan's mad dash through the tower to his room. As he saw his own prone form lying on his bedroom floor, and then finally, as he saw himself hooked up to countless machines while his friends tried to figure out what the problem was.

When it was over, Raven called her memories back to her, and the dark energy slipped through her hands and disappeared. Beast Boy was left staring at her empty hands.

"It...wasn't a dream, was it?" he asked, a pleading tone in his voice, as though he was willing her to tell him that she'd made it up, that he was fine, and that this was all just some joke. She shook her head again sadly.

"Then-where are we?" he waited for Raven to answer. She didn't, unsure of how she would explain. His eyebrows raised slightly in suspicion, and he continued, "Wait a minute. Am I dead? Are you like my guardian angel or something?"

Raven couldn't help it. The idea of herself as any kind of angel, much less Beast Boy's guardian angel, was too much. She laughed. How did he do that? How did he take her, when she was about to drown in her own unfeeling greyness, and brighten everything around her? How did he make her laugh, when she would probably be crying if she was allowed to express herself? It was a short laugh, closer to a snort than an actual laugh, but it had escaped, and Beast Boy was smiling again.

"Well, you can't be Raven," he grinned.

"I can tell you one thing, I am not your guardian angel," she said drily, "And you're not dead." Yet, she added silently to herself. Beast Boy's smile faded a little. He didn't say anything, only looked to her for an explanation. She sighed.

"We're in your mind," Raven told him. He gaped at her, not understanding the implications of her words. Continuing, she tried to say it as simply as she knew how, "After you passed out, we took you to the medical bay. Cyborg ran tests but all he could figure out was that whatever's wrong with you, you've had before. And I remembered...certain things, and thought that you might know what's going on, so I came here. Like I did with Robin."

"So, you're saying that..." Beast Boy paused, searching for the words, "That this is...my mind. And that you're...in my mind to find out what's wrong with me? And that I'm stuck in here until I wake up or something?"

"I don't know why you don't use your brilliant deduction skills more often," she said sarcastically, trying to supress the urge to hold him again, to comfort him, to tell him everything would be alright. She couldn't do that, as much as she wanted to.

So instead she told herself that he'd be ok, that she'd wake him up, that everything would be alright.

Perchance To Dream.

It wasn't a dream.

It was a nightmare. He was trapped in his own mind, and didn't know how to get out.

All he knew was that there was no way out. Raven stood before him, waiting for him to explain what was going on. Beast Boy knew that he could explain all he wanted, but it wouldn't make any difference. There was nothing that anybody could do. Even she couldn't possibly stop what was happening.

They were standing in the common area, having moved out of the darkness of Raven's room. He had been avoiding the subject of his illness for almost half an hour. Finally there was no way around it.

"Beast Boy, do you know what's wrong with you?" Raven finally asked him bluntly, tired of dancing around the subject, "We don't know how to help you. You could die." Beast Boy ran a hand through his hair and sighed. This was it. He'd have to tell her.

"I will," his voice cracked as he said it. It was the first time he'd said the words out loud, and it made it all more real somehow.

"Wha-no, we can fix it," Raven said forcefully, as if trying to convince herself, "We can, and we will."

"No, you can't," Beast Boy sat down on the couch with a thud, "What I have-it isn't something that will just go away." He looked up at Raven, who was still standing. She was blinking rapidly, and he could see her throat working as she swallowed repeatedly. She began to pace in front of him, her footsteps heavy. He waited silently for her to calm herself down. It almost made him smile to see her so upset, to know that she cared. Almost.

The last thing he needed right now was for her to blow a gasket in his mind. Beast Boy wasn't sure, but he guessed that her blowing stuff up here wouldn't be the most pleasant experience. Finally she sat down on the other side of the couch and looked him straight in the eyes. Her gaze was piercing, and after a few seconds he had to look away.

"What exactly is it that you have?" she asked him, "And how do you know that it can't be fixed?"

"I just know, ok?" he replied, picking at a loose thread in the couch, "I've had it since I was six years old."

"Why now? How can you have had it since you were six and all of the sudden it's affecting you?" as an afterthought, she added, "And what is it?"

"I can't remember the name. It starts with an s. I think," he stopped pulling the thread out of the couch to think, "Or maybe it's a k..." Beast Boy leaned back and shut his eyes tightly, trying to remember the name of the disease. His father had said it so many times. His father had been the one who gave him so much more time. If it weren't for his parents, he would have died when he first got the disease. And if it weren't for Beast Boy, his parents wouldn't have...

Lost in thought, he didn't hear Raven calling him at first. Only when she used his real name did he notice.

"Garfield!" she shouted in his ear, "Do you mind telling me where we are?" Opening his eyes, Beast Boy was shocked by what he saw before him. A riot of color greeted him, and his senses were assaulted by a cacaphony of sound and smell. He breathed in deeply, letting the smell of home wash over him. It didn't matter how long he'd been away, he would always recognize and love this place. Every scent, every sound, every memory that was here would stay with him forever. He knew exactly where they were. He just wasn't sure how they had come to be here.

"Umm," he started with a nervous laugh, "We're in Africa."

"You could die."

"I will."

No. She wouldn't let him. There was no way Raven would let him disappear again, this time forever. No way she would allow his fire to be smothered, to die. She played his words over in her head as he tried to remember the name of the disease that was killing him. He had sounded so sure, so resigned to death. As though he had accepted it.

It didn't matter. Raven didn't accept it. She couldn't. She who had stopped her demon father from destroying the universe would not let some virus destroy Beast Boy. The disease could not be stronger than her.

As she watched, Beast Boy leaned back and closed his eyes, seemingly lost in thought. How could he not know the name of his disease? She wondered silently. Raven stared at him, amused at the sight of his furrowed eyebrows as he sat, deep in his memories.

She suddenly became aware of the fact that the room around her had begun to shift, to change. The neutral colors of the tower shifted into the vibrant hues of a rainforest. The couch she was sitting on sank into the ground and disappeared, leaving only leaves and vines in its wake. Judging from her surroundings, Raven saw that she was in a clearing in some tropical forest. Where it was, she had no idea.

From the fact that Beast Boy still had his eyes closed, Raven guessed that he had no idea that they'd even left the 'tower'.

"Beast Boy. Beast Boy?" she called him several times before, exasperated, she shouted his real name at him, "Garfield! Do you mind telling me where we are?" Beast Boy started out of his reverie and looked at her. His emerald colored eyes widened as he took in all of the sights, smells, and sounds that were now barraging them. Then, to her great surprise, he smiled.

"Ummm," he laughed nervously as though he expected her to be mad, "We're in Africa."

"Mm-hm," she muttered, "And would you mind telling me why we're in Africa?"

"Upper Lamumba, if you wanted to be specific. I just...I was thinking about how I got the disease, and..." he trailed off, his eyebrows furrowing again as he tried to work out what had happened. Raven understood immediately. He had accidentally taken them into one of his memories. Her theory was confirmed when she saw a small blond haired boy, she guessed about four years old, wander into the clearing.

She hadn't thought that Beast Boy's eyes could get any wider. Apparently she had been incorrect.

"That's...me," he whispered in awe, backing up slightly, "What the hell? What's going on?" Raven stared hard at the young boy. She couldn't see much of a resemblance to the Beast Boy she knew, but then again the Beast Boy she knew was completely green, whereas this child had fair skin, blond hair, and blue eyes.

"This is a memory," Raven explained to him. He nodded, even though he was having some difficulties comprehending the fact that he was watching himself as a young boy.

"When is this?" she asked him, "And why do you look so-normal?" He had edged towards her and was now standing just in front of Raven, between her and the younger version of himself.

"This is twelve years ago-when I was six," he paused before continuing, "Before I got my powers."

"You're six here?" she said incredulously, "You look about four." Beast Boy glanced at her over his shoulder and shrugged.

"I was a small kid."

Raven pointedly swept her eyes over his tiny frame and raised her eyebrows.

"Ok, I'm still small," he grinned at her. Although he had grown in the years since she'd met him, he was still barely an inch taller than she was, and she wasn't very tall. He had gained quite a bit of muscle mass, she couldn't help but notice as she swept her eyes over his entire body for a second time.

As the two Titans watched, the young Garfield Logan kneeled to the ground and began digging a hole.

"Oh no," Beast Boy breathed suddenly, peering intently into the bushes that surrounded the clearing.

"What?" Raven tried to see what he was looking at. He nodded towards a section of underbrush directly across the clearing from them. The leaves were shaking softly. The young Gar took no notice of the tremoring bush, obviously not yet gifted with Beast Boy's metahuman senses.

"This probably isn't the best place for us to be right now," he reached back and grabbed her forearm, pushing her away from his younger version. She was about to ask him why when a large creature jumped out of the bushes and attacked the young boy.

Raven choked back a startled cry as the creature jumped on top of the boy and bit down viciously on his left shoulder. Beast Boy let out a soft moan and grabbed his own left shoulder. Raven could see blood welling underneath his gloved fingers.

The tiny Garfield Logan recovered quickly from the attack, rolling over and throwing what Raven now realized was some kind of monkey, off of his back. Little Gar came out of the roll and turned to face the savage creature with a grace that Raven recognized from Beast Boy's battle with Cinderblock.

"Not very many six year olds can do that," she commented in a whisper, wondering again just where he had learned to fight like that. Beast Boy didn't answer, too preoccupied with watching the fight unfold in front of him.

It was over in a few moments. The innocent looking blue eyed boy threw the monkey ferociously into a tree. With a sickening thud the monkey's skull cracked against the thick trunk. It fell to the ground, obviously dead.

Young Gar stood for a moment, looking at his opponent. With a violent change of moods, the little boy swiftly sat down, all signs of his grace in battle gone, and began to cry. Soon a dark haired woman ran into the clearing and knelt down next to him.

"Mom," Beast Boy whispered, so softly that Raven barely heard him. He took a step towards the memory of his mother, but she was already gone, the sobbing Garfield in her arms. Beast Boy stood in the middle of the clearing, staring at the spot where the young woman and her son had left the clearing. Raven came to stand behind him, feeling his sorrow wash against her in dark waves.

"You're hurt," she said quietly, seeing blood oozing from teeth marks on his left shoulder.

"Uh-huh," he grunted, still staring after his mother. Raven laid her hand over the wound gently and began to heal it. She took on the pain of the bite with no hesitation, showing no signs that healing him caused her discomfort. Beast Boy blinked and turned his head to look at her, sorrow vanishing when he saw that he'd been affected when the monkey had bitten his younger self.

"Thanks," he said when she was finished, turning to completely face her, "Why did-"

"You're remembering everything," she explained, "The events, the sounds, the smells, your emotions and your injuries. So don't drag us into any memory where you get badly hurt. I can't heal you every time you let some monkey bite you."

"As long as you don't try and bite me-which I wouldn't hold against you by the way-" he grinned, "I should be fine." Raven rolled her eyes at his attempt at sexual innuendo.

"How long have you been able to fight like that?" she asked, hoping to get the answer that none of the other Titans had managed to get from him. Beast Boy's face became completely serious and he kicked the air a few times in an obvious impersonation of Robin.

"So you noticed my kick-ass moves?" he cast a lopsided smile at her, unable to keep a straight face, "That monkey totally didn't know what was coming. Admit it," he punched the air in mock combat and winked at her, "I'm amazing." Raven ignored the way her heart skipped a beat when he smiled at her. Ignored the way her internal organs froze when he winked at her.

"You're my hero," she drolled, ignoring the way her breath caught in her throat at the sight of his muscled legs kicking the air with perfect control.

She would never admit, even to herself, that her words held a distinct grain of truth within them.

Beast Boy's stomach attempted to climb up his esophagus at Raven's words. He gulped slowly to force it back down and smiled at her again, hoping that she hadn't noticed that he'd come completely undone when she'd praised him, albeit sarcastically.

"Well, as your personal hero," he assumed his best superhero stance, straightening his back and placing his hands on his hips, "I suppose it is my duty to tell you how I became so totally sweet and awesome."

"I suppose it is," she replied, acting as though she didn't care either way. He knew though, that she was eager as the rest of the Titans were to find out where he'd aquired his skill.

"I guess you noticed that I wasn't always like this," he held his hands out before him and shrugged, indicating his green tones, pointed ears, and sharp fangs. She nodded, and he continued, "I was born in the States, but my parents moved here when I was two years old for their research. They were doctors, you know. Anyways, that's not the point. I started walking when I was seven months old. I started fighting random pieces of furniture when I was nine months old, and I was good. I was like a prodigy or whatever."

He paused, glancing at Raven to see if she was bored with his story. Not wanting him to stop before he'd fully explained, she said nothing.

"So when we moved to Africa, the leader dude of the tribe we lived near asked my parents if he could train me to fight," he resumed his story, only for Raven to interupt.

"What was his name?" she asked. She had pulled her legs up and was levitating, cross legged, so that her eyes were exactly level with his.

"Whose?"

"The leader of the tribe's," she reminded him.

"Oh-King Tawaba," he replied, remembering the old man with fondness, "Anyways, my parents said yes, and I trained with him until they di-until I was seven years old, even after I got my powers. Then, when I joined the Doom Patrol, Mento made me continue combat training because I couldn't change into big animals yet. According to him, I was 'useless' in a fight." He ended his monologue on a bitter note.

"You're not useless," Raven said, truly meaning her words. Beast Boy looked directly into her eyes, surprised by the sincerity in her voice. She'd never been this nice to him before. At this thought, he remembered where they were and why she was here. She was being nice because she knew he would die soon. He'd almost forgotten.

Being here, in this place that was his first home, with her, the first person he'd ever really opened up to, he'd almost forgotten that he didn't have very long. He had to tell her everything before-

"That means alot to me Raven," he replied, with as much sincerity as she'd had.

"Hello? Is this-," Robin glanced at the name he'd jotted down on a scrap piece of paper, "Samuel Register's office?"

"This is Dr. Register's office," a stern voice answered him.

"Oh-ok, uh, can I please talk to Dr. Register?"

"Speaking," the voice, now identified as Dr. Samuel Register, snapped.

"I'm calling about a friend of mine," Robin begain, not about to let the man's bad phone manners bother him, "I've been researching for hours, and his symptoms match the one's of the disease that you described in your research papers."

"I sincerely doubt that," the man said acidly, "I find it difficult to believe that a child would be able to read, much less understand, my research papers."

"I understood them fine, Dr. Register," Robin growled into the mouthpiece, starting to become annoyed despite his vow to not let the man bother him, "And there is a striking resemblance between one of your case studies of Sakutia and the symptoms my friend is showing. I just thought that you could help. I see now that I was wrong." Robin reached his hand out to hang up the phone.

"Wait," Register commanded. Robin stopped, leaving his finger poised above the switch, ready to disconnect, "What's your friend's name?"

"I'm not at liberty to disclose that information, doctor," the masked Titan replied.

"Dr. Register," the man on the end of the line corrected, "Then I'm not at liberty to help your friend. And believe me, if it's Sakutia he has, then he'll be lucky to survive for more than a week without my help." Robin sighed, defeated. This Dr. Register was the only man on the planet with any experience with Sakutia, and by now Robin was sure that this was the disease that Beast Boy had.

"Logan," he said quietly, "Garfield Logan. That name is not to be spread around, Dr. Register."

There was no reply from Register. The line had gone silent.

"Hello?" Robin said suspiciously. After a few moments, Register finally replied.

"I can be there in four days. Do not move him, do not call anybody else. Where is he now?"

"Jump City, California. The Titans Tower."

Click.

Robin stared at the phone in his hands, horribly aware that he may have just made a terrible mistake.