Brother's Keeper: Chapter 9

By: The Confused One

A/N: Like I said, I'm getting work done this week. The next chapter of this story is practically done too, so the wait won't be long. I'm seriously trying to get to where I'm writing more again. Thanks for your patience, and please enjoy the chapter and remember to review. Thanks.

Alex had spent an hour filling out hospital forms. She had insisted on being the one to fill out the forms and not wait to do it later. She had taken her time, trying to avoid the questions. As she suspected, the moment she was finished, they started in on their questions. She ultimately decided, for the moment, to give them the same story she had given the detectives at Bobby's apartment. There were still parts of the story she just couldn't bring herself to tell them…yet. The stunned silence afterwards had gotten to her, and she had fled the waiting room. An hour later, she found herself sitting in a front row pew of the hospital chapel. She was staring at the large cross that was hanging in front of her.

Closing her eyes, Alex just began speaking, "I know it's been awhile since I've prayed like this, and I probably have no business asking…begging you to save him, but here I am, doing just that, because I don't know what else to do. They've had him in there for several hours now, and I'm beginning to get scared… and I don't get scared. I don't like being scared, and I don't like feeling helpless.

"I need him, and I can't lose him. You can't take him from me. You already took Shane from me and way too soon. Wasn't he enough? Do you get your laughs from being this spiteful? I only got five years with Shane, and now you're only going to give me five years with Bobby?"

After a few minutes, Carolyn had gotten worried, and she'd gone looking for Alex, to make sure she was OK. She was now standing in the back of the chapel, relieved to have found her. She waited for a moment and listened as Alex continued, "Is that supposed to be funny? Some sort of sick joke? You give me just enough time…to get to where I can't imagine my life without them and then you take them from me? No. You don't get to do that…not twice. I know life isn't fair, but that would just be cruel, and people say you're not cruel. So, don't you dare take him from me. I couldn't handle it." Losing most of her resolve, Alex was on the verge of tears again. She finally choked out, "Please…don't take him from me."

Approaching her, Carolyn broke the now sudden silence. "Alex?"

Taking a ragged breath, Alex was surprised to be caught. Embarrassed, she wiped away at her tears and hastily replied, "I'm fine."

With a sigh, Carolyn ignored the almost hostile tone Alex's voice had. Sitting down beside her, she began quietly. "Alex…"

Closing her eyes again, Alex interrupted her, "I'm sorry." Back to staring at the cross, Alex admitted, "I'm scared, Carolyn."

Carolyn understood that perfectly. She nodded slowly and took Alex's hand. Squeezing lightly, she replied, "I know." When Alex finally looked at her, Carolyn added, "But you should light a candle. It'll get you further than yelling at Him will."

Alex sighed and looked at the cross again. She whispered, "Apart from work, I've avoided religion in general for a long time now."

Carolyn nodded and sympathetically replied, "You stopped going after Shane. I almost did after Gary."

Seeing Alex nod, Carolyn suggested, "Come on, Alex. Let's go back to the waiting room. They could show up with an update any time now."

Alex nodded slowly. Forcing herself to get up, she silently followed Carolyn back to the waiting room, desperately hoping for some good news.

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Standing at the door, Danielle knocked nervously. Looking around, she held the envelope close in her hand. She was relieved when the door finally opened.

Looking her up and down, Joey smiled. He greeted her, "Ms. Demarco, how nice to see you."

Glaring at him, Danielle shoved the file at him. She bitterly replied, "I never want to hear from you again. Do you have any idea how much trouble my husband could get into because of this?"

With a shrug, Joey carelessly replied, "That's your problem though, now isn't it? You're the one who got yourself into this predicament." With a smirk on his face, he wagged his finger and clicked his tongue before commenting, "Ten-thousand dollars? That's a lot of money." Opening the envelope, Joey pulled out the papers and flipped through them. He was relieved that Danielle had the good sense to keep her mouth shut at the moment. He finally looked up and commented, "This is what I wanted. We're even. Now go."

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Resting her head on Mike's shoulder, Alex stared at the doors and willed someone to come out and tell her what was going on with Bobby. She desperately needed news. Deakins held her hand in the seat beside her, and Carolyn was seated on the other side of Mike. Silence continued to prevail. No one had the words. No one knew what to say, what to do, or how to make it better.

Shifting against Mike, Alex sighed in frustration and got up. She and Carolyn had only been back from the chapel for about ten minutes, and she felt like she was going crazy. She began pacing. She finally commented, "I don't understand why they haven't told us anything."

Before anyone could say a word, a doctor approached, "Are you here for Detective Goren?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Alex spoke up, "Yes. How is he?"

The doctor eyed her for a long moment before explaining, "He's going to be OK. We did a full examination. We had to set his jaw, wrap his ribs, set one of his fingers, and repair a punctured lung, but overall, he was very lucky."

Alex closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. Looking at the doctor again, she asked, "Can I see him?"

With a nod, the doctor assured her, "Yes, but I want you to be prepared. He's going to be out still for some time, and he's hooked to a lot of machinery that we will be removing over the next few days, when he wakes up."

Alex nodded emphatically. She could handle this, and she insisted, "It's OK. I just…need to see him."

With an understanding nod, the doctor replied, "Right this way then. I think it might do him some good. You obviously mean a great deal to him."

Alex nodded mutely. She didn't want to make a big deal about the paperwork. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for what she was going to see.

Watching Alex, Carolyn had the sudden urge to not leave her alone. Standing up, she asked, "Can we…can we come, too?"

Looking at Alex, who didn't seem to object, the doctor replied, "Of course."

Alex would never admit it, but she was extremely grateful to Carolyn for not letting her go alone. Silently, the five of them walked down the hallway. Reaching one of the rooms, the doctor announced, "This is his room, for now."

Alex nodded, again. Looking up at the doctor, she replied, "Thank you." She heard him walk as away as she turned to face the others. She quietly spoke to them. "Give me a minute, please."

Mike was about to say something, but Carolyn beat him to it. "Of course," she said, leading Mike back down the hall.

Walking into his room, Alex took a deep breath. The doctor was right. It would take an adjustment to get used to seeing him like that. She silently walked over to the bed. She leaned over and kissed his forehead. Taking a shaky breath, she whispered, "They say you're going to be OK."

Sitting down, she took his hand and continued speaking, "You need to reassure me of that, Bobby, by waking up soon. God, I shouldn't have left things the way we left them last night. I shouldn't have left. I'm so sorry, Bobby. I know…you. I know what you must think that I…think. I wish I knew if you could hear me."

After a deep breath, she fought back tears and continued, "I'll have to take the chance that you can, because I have to… get some of this out now, even if I have to repeat myself later. You have to understand. You have to know that I love you, Bobby, and I don't blame you for what happened. It wasn't your fault. Shane was doing his job, Bobby, just like you were. He didn't…make it, but you are not responsible for that. I need you to understand that. You can't…pull away from me. I-I won't let you. I need you in my life. I'm not going to give you a choice."

Rubbing his hand with her thumb, she sniffled and pulled herself together. The others would be in soon. She didn't want them to see her falling apart again. She didn't want Deakins to start asking questions. She didn't want to talk to Deakins about her relationship with Bobby or the rest of what had been going on until Bobby was awake. She needed to actually talk to him first.