Haha, yes! I actually wrote this one on time:D. This pleases me.

A little bit of RobinxStarfire found it's way in there...hmmm...how did that happen? Not that I dislike the couple, I love it, but I've never really written it that much. Oh well, there's a first time for everything I guess:D. Hope it isn't too painful for you to read.

I also managed to stick a little teeny tiny bit of BBxRae fluffiness...don't blink, you'll miss it:D.

I want to say a HUGE thank you to all of my reviewers. You guys are friggin awesome! You Save Me currently has 103 reviews :O. I am shocked and delighted. Again, big thanks to all of you reading and reviewing! I appreciate it so much!

Anyways, I'll shut up now, thanks again! Oh, and by the way, I don't own Teen Titans...I just like to beat on them a bit:D.

-Liss

Chapter Seven. Too Easy To Lose.

"With three Titans absent and one Titan injured at the shootout this afternoon, is Jump City facing the loss of its young protectors?" the anchorwoman sounded grave, but there was a vicious glint in her eye that betrayed her glee at a good story, "Here we have some footage, taped by a civilian present at the scene, of the events that unfolded earlier today. As you can see, only Cyborg and Robin were present at the shootout. Where Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire were, we can only speculate, but it appears that Robin and Cyborg could have used some hel-" Robin switched off the television in disgust.

"Perhaps you should hire a public relations consultant," came Register's arrogant drawl from the table where he had set up his laptop and research equipment.

"Perhaps you should shove it up your-ow! Man, that hurt," Cyborg grumbled as Robin kicked him in the ankle, then turned back to repairing his arm. Starfire stood in the kitchen, arms crossed, glaring suspiciously at Register.

"You have come to help our friend," she began in her most commanding tone, "For this reason alone, I tolerate your unkindness towards us. But know that you are speaking with people that have saved the world countless times. And do not forget it." Her eyes were starting to glow an unusually deep shade of green by the end of this speech. Robin stared at Star, marvelling at her indignant fury. She was glory, she was passion, she was anger and fear, joy and sorrow, innocence and love; she was indomitable, she was unquenchable, but most of all, she was the one person who made him feel like he had to be more, and at the same time that he was all she could ever want or need. She was his, he was hers, and he loved her, like he had never loved another. His heart swelled with pride for her and it seemed as if he could burst with loving her. Just with seeing her.

"She's right doctor," he said, tearing his eyes from her, "We may be young, but we're not idiots, and we deserve some respect from you."

"Dr. Register," the doctor corrected absently, ignoring their anger. Starfire unclenched her fists, which had just moments before been containing some particularly strong starbolts. Shaking with rage and thanking X'hal that nobody had noticed the starbolts, she inhaled deeply. She looked to Robin to see what he would say to the rude doctor. The masked Titan was staring at the ground, an odd expression that she didn't recognize on his face. He must have been angry with her for raising her voice at Dr.Register. He had worked so hard to get the doctor to come here, risked so much, and she was behaving like a child. No wonder Robin was mad at her. Blinking back tears and wishing she could restrain her emotions like Raven, she silently left the room.

"Whatever," Cyborg muttered as he tried to sort out the tangle of wires hanging from his arm, "Dr. Register. Are you planning on actually doing something, or are you just going to sit there all day?" He wasn't surprised when Register didn't answer him.

"Stupid arrogant prick..." Cyborg's voice trailed off into a low mutter as he recited all of the obscenities he could think of. Register ignored him, doing-well, whatever it was he was doing. The metal Titan couldn't imagine what could possibly be taking him so long over there amidst all of the lab equipment that he, Robin, and Starfire had set up under Register's watch.

"Where did Starfire go?" Robin asked him. Cyborg shrugged, concentrating on welding a minute wire back together. He was trying very hard to aviod replacing the wires, a process that would take the rest of the day.

"She was just here," Robin continued, twisting his head around, "I didn't even see her leave." Cyborg grunted noncommitally, moving on to the next wire.

"Did you see her leave?" Robin asked, still looking around the room as though he thought she might be hiding somewhere, "Cyborg?"

"Here's a revolutionary concept," Cyborg took a moment from welding and turned his head to look at Robin, "Look for her."

"Oh. Uh, yeah," Robin scratched the back of his head and looked at the ceiling, "Ok. Sure, I could do that I guess. Sorry." Cyborg turned back to his arm, shaking his head and smiling slightly as Robin went to search the tower for Starfire.

"Starfire?" Robin knocked lightly on open door of Star's room before sticking his head in. Seeing that she wasn't there, he went to the medical bay. He found her there, adjusting the blanket she'd draped around Raven's shoulders the night before. She didn't look up when he came in.

"Star?" he stood across the bed from her, "Are you ok? You left pretty quickly." Starfire sniffed lightly and began straigtening the sheets that covered Beast Boy.

"I am fine," she replied after a moment. Robin didn't say anything, just looked at her. She'd been crying.

"I am fine," she repeated after a few minutes of silence, as if trying to convince herself. Robin glanced at the machine displaying Beast Boy's vitals, then back to the Tamaranean princess.

"I am fine," Starfire said loudly, "I-I am..."

"Fine?" Robin finished, reaching across the bed and placing his hand on hers. She looked at him, tears welling up in her eyes. She tried to say something, but the words caught in her throat and a strangled sob was the only thing that escaped. Robin walked around the bed to stand beside her, aching with her pain. Turning towards him, Starfire buried her face in his neck and began to cry, all of the emotions of the past few days flooding from her. Arms wrapped around eachother, they sank slowly to their knees. They remained that way, Robin gently stroking her hair, until her sobs faded into soft hiccoughs.

"I am sorry Robin," she whispered. Robin pulled back from her, confused.

"Huh?" he asked, perplexed, "For what?"

"For-" Starfire began, then started over, "You are angry with me, are you not?"

"What are you...why would I be-what would make you think-" he stuttered.

"You...are not angry with me?" Starfire sniffed, "Truly?"

"No, I'm not," Robin smiled, "Why did you think I was?"

"It does not matter," Starfire smiled back at him, "Let us forget it."

"I couldn't be mad at you. Star...I think-" Robin stood and helped her up, "I think we...I think that I-"

"Sorry man, that's not the way it's going to happen," Robin was interuppted by Cyborg as the huge Titan stormed through the door of the medical bay after an enraged Dr. Register, "He's staying here. That's not an option."

"What's going on?" Robin demanded, unnerved to see the rage in Register's eyes.

"Your doctor friend here says that he has to take B to some hoity toity clinic to treat him," Cyborg glared menacingly at Register, loose wires still hanging from his arm.

"No," Robin shook his head, "He stays here. Cyborg's right. That isn't an option."

"I can't treat him here," Register growled, "So if you want your friend to die, by all means, keep him here."

"Fine," Robin replied, "Then we're going with you."

"My clinic is in a private location," Register shouted angrily, "You can't go."

"Then there's no way in hell that Beast Boy's going," the masked Titan pounded his fists together in emphasis.

"You will treat our friend here," Starfire's voice cut through the room, great and terrible in its icy calm . Cyborg and Robin stared, dumbfounded. The Tamaranean's eyes were glowing a shade of green so bright it was almost white, and the heat emanating from the starbolts that had formed in her hands was making the room temperature uncomfortable. In that moment, she was no longer Starfire, Teen Titan. She was Koriand'r, heir to the throne of Tamaran. "If you find that you require more equipment, we shall obtain it for you. You will stay here with him until he is well, and then you will leave with our gratitude and never return. This is not a request." Eyes flashing, Register turned on his heel and left the medical bay.

"Well, I'm impressed," Cyborg grinned at Starfire, who was now blushing furiously.

"One must know how to command if one is to rule an entire people," she explained. She turned to ask Robin what he'd been about to say when Cyborg and Register had entered the room, but he was already gone.

Wind. And rain, so much rain. So dark, not even lightning to illuminate the empty lot. Where is he? A green flash in the distance, and he is running towards it. It is in a forest, and somehow the trees do not protect him from the rain and the wind. On the contrary, the storm is worse here. The branches are creaking, straining under the force. The rain cuts his skin, bites at him like so many knives stabbing his flesh. He stumbles, he cannot find a foothold in the ankle deep mud. The rain is pounding him now, the drops are heavy, leaving behind angry red welts. Still he runs, though the branches scrape at him, though the wind buffets him off course, though the rain whips him harshly. He is so close to the green glow.

And then it is white, and he is blinded by the brightness. And she is there, and she is beautiful and terrible. He falls to his knees, awestruck by her glory.

"...never return...never return..." she repeats, over and over, in that icy cold voice. He is shivering. He looks into her eyes, and she is no longer who she was. She is killing him, destroying him with her eyes. And then he is free from her, he is on a rooftop, looking over the ocean. The rain is gone, the wind is gone. The sun beats down on him, but he is cold. He is shaking.

"Hey Robin," he looks to see Beast Boy is standing beside him, wearing a long blue cloak.

"Beast Boy? What are you doing here?"

"I just came to say that I'm not mad at you. You know, for telling my real name. It's okay." The cloak is turning black.

"But you're sick-you should be in the medical bay." Beast Boy shakes his head.

"Nah, I'm fine, I was just kidding about that." The cloak is dripping, dripping black at the bottom. It falls back. There is a gaping wound on Beast Boy's chest. Sparks are flying from it, and wires are hanging loose. Beast Boy sees him looking at the wound.

"What, this? Dude, this is nothing. It doesn't matter, I'm already dead." Beast Boy is smiling, laughing.

"No," he whispers, "You can't be." Beast Boy is nodding, the blood is dripping from him. Raven is there, taking back her cloak, giving it to Slade. And then she is Cyborg, aiming a handgun at him. Pulling the trigger.

Robin woke in a cold sweat, wrapped in the bedsheets on the floor. Trying to remember the dream that had woken him, he untangled himself from the sheets and grabbed his mask from his bedside table. All he could remember was a gunshot, a bloody wound, and those eyes, those eyes that were hers, but not. He shuddered as he pulled on a t-shirt and walked towards the kitchen.

After pouring himself a glass of water, Robin let the tap run and splashed a little on his face. He was about to return to bed when he heard a voice coming from the medical bay.

"What are you doing?" he asked when he got there, seeing Register rummaging around in the dark.

"Some bloodwork," Register replied unexpectedly, "Tests. I need to see how fargone he is."

"Oh." Robin yawned widely and tried to cover it up, embarassed. It was bad enough to be seen in his pajamas-Superman boxers given to him by Starfire and a Batman t-shirt from Gotham; he didn't need to seem like he was some little kid who had stayed up too late.

"It would help if she wasn't in here," Register grumbled, indicating Raven.

"Deal with it," Robin said as he leaned against the doorframe.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Register asked, his voice condescending. Robin cracked his knuckles leisurely.

"I'll just wait here with you," he said casually, settling into a more comfortable position, "Bloodwork has always fascinated me." The doctor glared at him, poison in his eyes, and gathered all of his equipment up.

"I'm finished," he said as he walked past Robin, "I'll be with the rest of my equipment, doing the analysis." Robin watched his retreating form until he turned out of sight. When he was sure Register wouldn't be coming back, he slipped a motion sensor under one of the consoles and pointed it at the door. If anybody came in, he would know.

"Just in case," he whispered to himself, and went back to his room.

If I Could Have.

The sun was long gone, and the moon shone brightly over Cape Town. It was still warm, but the warmth was now that of a summer night, the gentle breeze carrying with it the faint memory of the day's heat.

"So tell the viewers at home Raven," Beast Boy joked in his best impersonation of a talk show host and shoved a stick in front of Raven's mouth, "Will Cape Town and Table Mountain merit an entry in Azarath's Guide to Earth?"

"Yes," she said seriously, "In the 'Absolutely Do Not Visit' section." Beast Boy dropped his jaw in mock horror, and Raven grabbed the stick away from him. Some corner of her mind whispered that she was losing control, she was taking this too far, but she pushed the thought away.

"Hey, give that back," he laughed as she levitated away from him. He jumped up and grabbed onto her leg, sending her tumbling on top of him.

"Oops," he let out a nervous giggle, "Uh, sorry." Raven rolled off of him and stood up, her face flushed. She hated how much he made her feel. It scared her, it overwhelmed her. Here, in his mind, the veil of grey was gone, had dissipated. She hated how much he made her want to feel, to abandon all precaution, to just be, and forget about the consequences. But you can't, the voice whispered, emerging from the shadows.

"It's ok," she muttered, pulling up the hood of her cloak, "I actually enjoy falling on my ass."

"Sarcasm, right?"

"Mm-hm," Raven turned to look at him. She could feel herself pulling away, distancing herself. It shouldn't bother her, this was who she had to be, but she found herself wishing that she could be more like Starfire, wishing that she could feel without restraint.

"Did you hear that?" Beast Boy had gone pale and was frantically scanning the sky, looking for something.

"Hear what?" Raven looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"That-" Beast Boy kneeled and pressed his hand to the ground, checking for vibrations, "There was a voice. You didn't hear it?"

"I don't know what you're talking ab-" Beast Boy interuppted her by putting a finger to his lips.

"There it is again," he said eagerly, "Listen!" Suddenly the scenery around them began to change, shifting and melding. They were back in what Raven now recognized as the jungles of Upper Lamumba.

"Why did you bring us back here?" she asked.

"I didn't," Beast Boy replied, clearly shaken, "Or at least I didn't mean to. It sort of just...happened." They were in a clearing, and there was a small cabin at the Northern end of it. Mark and Marie Logan came out of it holding hands and laughing, young Gar Logan, now completely green, trailing behind his parents.

"When is-" Raven stopped at the pained expression on Beast Boy's face. He looked like he was going to be sick.

"Oh no," he whispered, his voice cracking, "I can't-I don't want to see this."

"Let's just go then," Raven pulled her hood down, "Take us somewhere else."

"I...I can't."

Idiot, Beast Boy berated himself as Raven pulled up her hood, Way to make things awkward.

"Sarcasm right?" Beast Boy attempted to joke. He couldn't see Raven's reaction under the shadow of her cloak.

"Mm-hm." Suddenly the wind changed. No longer warm and inviting, it became cold and menacing.

"...your friend to die..." a familiar voice drifted in on the wind, so quiet he could barely hear it, "...keep him here."

"Did you hear that?" he asked Raven. He couldn't quite place the voice. All he knew was that it terrified him, sent shivers running up his spine.

"Hear what?"

"That-" Beast Boy crouched and pressed his hand to the ground. He didn't feel anybody approaching, "There was a voice. You didn't hear it?"

"I don't know what you're talking ab-" Raven began. Ears pricked, listening for the voice, he heard it again and silenced her with a finger to his lips.

"...private location...," the eerily familiar voice floated by on the cold breeze, "...can't go..."

"There it is again," he said, desperate for her to hear it, "Listen!" The voice faded, and the moonlight of Cape Town began to fade, darkening into the deep shadow of another African night in Upper Lamumba.

"Why did you bring us back here?" Raven asked him.

"I didn't," Beast Boy replied, clearly shaken, "Or at least I didn't mean to. It sort of just...happened." He recognized the clearing they were in, and the cabin at the Northern end of it. This was where he and his family had lived, long ago. As he watched, his parents walked out of the cabin hand in hand, followed by his younger self. The knowledge of what night this was hit him the force of a train. He looked down at his gloved hands. This was the night, this was when everything fell apart.

"When is-" Raven took one look at his face and stopped.

"Oh no," he moaned in a whisper, "I can't-I don't want to see this."

"Let's just go then," Raven pulled her hood down, "Take us somewhere else." But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't. Some part of him wouldn't let go, couldn't let go. He was drawn to it, he couldn't get away. He had to see, had to know, had to remember exactly what happened that dark night so long ago.

"I...I can't," he murmered softly.

"Why?"

"I just-" he tried to explain, to make her understand, "I have to see it." She nodded, and stood closer to him, allowing him to lean into her without being too obvious. He had never been more grateful to her than in that moment. She didn't ask what it was he had to see, or why he had to see it, just stood beside him and watched the events unfold.

It happened just as he remembered it. One minute he was outside with parents watching a small bonfire crackling merrily, the next, they were surrounded, fenced in by dozens of soldiers.

"What is the meaning of this?" Beast Boy heard his father demand as he pulled his wife and child behind him.

"Just give us the boy Mark, and we'll go," came a cruel voice from the shadows.

"What the hell are you talking about Samuel?" Marie scooped Gar up in her arms and stood as tall as she could. Beast Boy swallowed hard. He missed her so much.

"He's a biological hazard," the voice came again. Beast Boy couldn't see the owner's face, "He could infect countless people."

"That's preposterous, and you know it Samuel," Mark scoffed indignantly, "He's months past the contagious stage of the disease. He couldn't possibly infect anybody."

"Precisely," the voice, Samuel, switched tactics, "That is why we must take him. To study him, to find out how he survived."

"You are not taking our son," Mark shouted, advancing towards Samuel. Beast Boy knew what would happen next, but couldn't look away, no matter how much he wanted to. The crack of a gunshot pierced the night, silencing the wildlife for miles around. Beast Boy let out a strangled cry. He didn't really notice when Raven wrapped her hand around his, was barely even concious of squeezing her hand back. Blood dripping from a hole in his chest, Mark dropped to the ground as Marie screamed. Still holding onto Raven's hand, Beast Boy walked slowly towards the group of people gathered around the bonfire. There was nowhere he wanted to be less than this place, but he couldn't help it, he had to get closer. Had to see it all. Tears were pouring down Marie's cheeks, but she still stood defiantly, clutching Gar in her arms.

"Give him here Marie," Samuel's voice was threatening, "You might still be able to help Mark. Or you can join him. It's your choice."

"Fine," her voice was steady, despite the tears, "Just let me say goodbye to him." The soldiers held aimed their weapons at her. Samuel raised his hand.

"I'll give you five minutes," with those words, Samuel and the soldiers backed up to give the three Logans space. Marie put Gar down next to Mark and checked her husband's pulse. Beast Boy could feel hot tears streaming down his own face. He knew that she would find nothing. Marie hung her head, still crying without making a sound. Despite the fact that Beast Boy and Raven were about twenty feet away from Gar and Marie, they could hear every whispered word spoken between them.

"Is dad ok?" the little boy asked.

"Garfield, you need to change," Marie ignored her son's question.

"Change?" Gar sounded confused. Beast Boy recalled that his parents had always told him to keep his shapeshifting abilities a secret in front of other people.

"Shhh, honey, not so loud," Marie's voice was frantic, "These are bad people. They want to hurt you, but they don't know that you can change. You need to change into a bird and fly. Fly far away from here. Go to King Tawaba, he will protect you."

"What about you?" Beast Boy clenched his teeth, a torrent of memories flooding through his mind. He pushed them away, not wanting to accidentally go to another memory. He had to finish this.

"I'll be fine," Marie whispered, smiling as she stroked her son's cheek, "When I say go, you change and you fly away as fast as you can. Don't look back." Gar nodded solemnly. Marie smiled again, and laughed gently through the tears. Beast Boy remembered this well. He remembered her smile, her laugh, her tears, her smell, for it was the last he would ever see of her.

"Go," she whispered. A small green sparrow burst up from the clearing. The soldiers all fired simultaneously. Marie fell, still smiling. Raven squeezed Beast Boy's hand. A tear fell off of his face, landing on her cloak.

"MOM," Gar had changed back into his human form and dropped back into the clearing, screaming for his mother. The young boy ran towards his fallen parents. He never made it. Four soldiers tackled him, one of them injecting him with a sedative. As Gar lost conciousness, the clearing fell away around Beast Boy and Raven, leaving them in darkness.

"Beast Boy?" There was no answer.

It was so dark. She couldn't see him, couldn't see herself. She was still holding his hand. He was shaking.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I had no idea. None of us did." He didn't say anything. Grasping in the dark, Raven found his other hand and took it. She heard Beast Boy inhale sharply, and then let out a slow, shuddering breath. And then he was crying, sobbing uncontrollably into her hair, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. She put her arms around his waist, holding onto him tightly.

"It was all my fault," he gasped through his sobs, "I should have just gone with them to start with. I should have-" He broke off, leaving his sentence unfinished.

"No," it tore her apart to see him like this, so weighted down by unneccesary guilt, "No, your parents wouldn't have let you. Listen to me, this is the truth. What happened back there...it wasn't your fault." Slowly at first, and then faster, the darkness melted away, and they were back in Beast Boy's tower. Beast Boy pulled away from her and turned away, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. To give him a chance to regain his composure, Raven sat on the couch and looked intently out the window. After a few minutes and some cold water splashed onto his face, he came and sat next to her.

"Sorry," he said, sniffling.

"Don't be," she smiled at him. He let out a laugh that sounded almost like a sigh and pulled his knees to his chest. They sat in silence for a while, each deep in their own thoughts.

"So," Raven began, not wanting to ask, but knowing that she had to, "What happened...after?" Beast Boy looked up, surprised that she had actually asked.

"That guy-Samuel or whatever his name was-took me to some lab in the states," he shuddered, pushing away the memories of his days in the lab. That was something that he refused to revisit, in any way. "They did experiments on me."

"What did they-"

"Tests. Strength, speed, endurance. Bloodwork. Tissue samples," Beast Boy said, hugging his knees closer to his chest, "Stuff like that." He let his knees drop and removed his gloves. Raven could feel her eyes widening, but didn't say anything. The skin on his palms was mangled and scarred, the tissue knotting over itself and twisted.

"They wanted to test my pain tolerance," he answered her unasked question, "They wired my hands to a conductor and ran electricity through me. It-it burnt the skin on my hands." Raven took one of his hands and ran her fingers over the mottled skin. She fought to control her breathing, anger pulsing through her towards the man that had done this to him.

"How long?" she asked, barely able to conceal the fury in her voice, "How long did they keep you there?"

"I guess...I guess it would have been almost two years," he said quietly, "I escaped. I met the Doom Patrol a couple of years later, and they took me in. Helped me." Raven clenched her fists until her nails dug into the palms. Azarath Metreon Zinthos, Azarath Metreon Zinthos... she took in a deep breath, calm down. There's nothing you can do now. It's over. It's done. There's no point in being angry. You can't change anything that happened to him in there.

Within the space of a few seconds, her anger evaporated. She couldn't think about being angry, because what she was seeing took precedence over anything that she felt.

"Raven?" Beast Boy's voice was concerned, "You ok?"

"Beast Boy..." she choked, "Look at yourself." He looked down and jumped. He was...fading. Literally. Raven could see the couch through him.

"What's happening?" she asked him.

"I think I'm-" he patted his torso lightly with a translucent hand, an odd calm to his voice, "-I think I might be dying."

"Robin," Cyborg shouted, jarring the masked Titan from sleep, "Get up, we've got to get to the medical bay."

"Nnng," Robin groaned and opened his eyes, "Whafor?"

"It's Beast Boy," Cyborg's words had the effect of ice cold water on Robin's drowsiness.

"What?" Robin demanded, jumping out of bed, "What's wrong with him?"

"He crashed," Cyborg's voice shook, "His heart stopped."

Ack! Please don't murder me:D. Refer to my words at the end of chapter two!

Poor Star and Rob. Their whole relationship is just one big misunderstanding after another...and it's not because Star's an alien. Robin's a dope, that's what it is:D.

Thanks for reading!

-Liss