Chapter Eight

"Tim, wait up!" Haley called as she saw Tim walking through the halls of the high school. It was Monday morning and she hadn't seen or heard from Tim since Emily's party the day before and she was worried about him. "Hey, are you ok?"

Tim shrugged his shoulders. "Fine," he replied. He'd had one whole day to mull over his mom's reappearance into his life and he didn't have a clue how to feel about it. Plus there was also the tension at his house due to the "mommy" incident.

"Tim," Haley said warningly. "C'mon, are you honestly going to stand there and tell me you're fine?"

"No," Tim responded. "I'm going to class. Look Hales, I know you want to help and you have this 'mother hen' thing going on, but I'm handling it. I'll talk to you later." He hurried to his next class feeling a bit bad for brushing her off.

"Why's Tim in such a hurry?" Nathan asked when he reached Haley's side. They hadn't had a chance to talk about their situation because they were both so worried about Tim.

"He's avoiding me. I just want to help him."

"I know you do," Nathan said, wrapping his arms around her. "He'll come around."

"I hope so."

"I could talk to him after school," Nathan suggested.

"I would, but I promised my Mom we'd hang out today since my dad's in Charlotte," Haley said.

"Hey, um, maybe we could do something this weekend?"

"I guess… I mean, maybe. Because my dad might not be back and this whole thing with Tim's mom… er… Michelle, it's been… busy," she replied lamely. She'd been avoiding his calls all weekend and distancing herself from him. What Nathan had told her at the party really put her on edge.

"Ok," Nathan said dejectedly. At first he thought that Haley was just really busy that weekend, but now he couldn't help but feel sad that she was avoiding him.

"Ok." Haley turned and walked to her next class, but was halted by Nathan's voice.

"Not ok. Hales, can't we talk about it?"

Haley turned around and addressed him. "About what?"

"Don't do that… please," Nathan pleaded. "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."

"I really don't see what there is to talk about Nathan. You said it. I didn't. It's all really black and white."

"I don't want it to be awkward," he said. As much as he wanted her to love him he wasn't going to push her. "You don't have to say it back."

"Then why did you tell me? Why would you say it if you didn't want me to say it back?" Haley purposely avoided using the words 'I love you'.

"Because Haley… I do love you. And no matter what you think I didn't tell you for you to say it back. I know that it wasn't the ideal way to tell you I love you, but…"

"Yeah…" Haley really hadn't expected love to come into play so early in their relationship. She wasn't sure how she was feeling and it was unfair to Nathan for her to say she loved him. "I just don't... know."

"Oh," he replied dejectedly. "You don't. Ok…"

"No," she said quickly to reassure him. "I don't know." She pointed to her head to clarify.

Nathan sighed in relief. It was much better than her saying she didn't. "It doesn't have to be awkward Hales."

"I need time… to figure it out."

"Like a break?" Nathan asked worriedly.

"No… not a break. Just… I'd feel better if you… didn't say… that… thing."

"Ok," he agreed. "So this weekend? Hang out or something?"

"Sure," she said. "I've gotta get to class. I'll call you."

Haley walked into her house after school and found her Mom baking a cake. She dropped her bag on the kitchen floor and stuck her finger in the bowl of icing. "Mmm," she moaned appreciatively. "I love cake."

"Haley, that's disgusting," Lydia said as she watched her daughter lick icing off of her finger. "Can't you wait?"

"No. Cake cannot wait."

Lydia chuckled at her daughter. It'd been awhile since the two of them spent any time together and she was looking forward to it. "How was school?"

"Fine. You know the normal stuff. Tim was avoiding me, I was avoiding Nathan."

"Why was Tim avoiding you?" Lydia asked as she put icing on the cake.

"Because he doesn't want to talk about his mom."

"Ok… why are you avoiding Nathan?"

"Because he said he told me he loved me on Friday night," Haley responded nonchalantly.

Lydia dropped the spatula she was holding and turned to face Haley. "He told you he loved you?"

"Yeah."

"And…?"

"And what?"

"How do you feel about him?" Lydia asked.

"It's only been like five months and two of those months we weren't in the same state so I can't really see how love could come into play."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I like him… a lot. But it's not love. It's can't be."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't love someone after a couple of months. It has to grow… it just… it can't."

"Honey, love isn't about time. It's about feelings."

"But it's not logical," Haley said.

"Love defies all logic."

"So are you telling me that I'm in love with Nathan?"

"No," Lydia said. "I'm telling you to stop thinking with your head and start thinking with your heart. You're a smart girl, you'll figure it out."

Haley pouted. "Can't you tell me what you think I feel?"

"Um… no. But how about we do some shopping, go see a movie, have dinner and then come back here for cake?"

"Fine, I'll just go put my bag upstairs."

"Haley," Lydia called out before Haley reached the stairs. "Your dad has a surprise when he gets back."

"Any idea what it is?" Haley asked.

"Nope."

"Tim, wait up," Nathan called as he ran to catch up with Tim. "Wanna do something?"

"Can't, gotta go home," Tim said as he started to walk faster.

"I just wanna hang out Tim."

Tim stopped and thought about it for a second. "Fine, but there will be no talking about it."

"Fine, I wanted to talk about something else anyways," Nathan said, referring to his Haley debacle.

"Ah yes, the infamous serenading. Seriously Nate, didn't think you could be oh so romantic," Tim mocked. "But I gotta tell ya. Drunkenly confessing your love is not the way to the young Miss James's heart."

"I admit it wasn't the greatest way to tell her, but couldn't you have been my best friend and stopped me before I grabbed the mic?"

"I was busy being Haley's best friend since her boyfriend decided to abandon her on a couch with drunken lunatics."

"I didn't meant to leave her," Nathan reassured. "I went into the kitchen to get some drinks and got caught up in the keg. You know how it is."

Tim did know how it was. He spent many a night stuck in a kitchen chugging beer from a keg. "Yeah, but still. She looked like she was ready to kick your ass."

"I wish I could take it back," Nathan thought aloud.

"No, no, no, no. Baaaad idea. Worse than telling her you love her by singing to her while you're drunk…wait, you did do that. You can't take 'I love you' back."

"I didn't say I was going to take it back… I just wish I could take it back."

"Yeah, well, there's a lot people wish they could take back," Tim said bitterly.

"You wanna talk about it?" Nathan asked, hoping he would say yes.

"No, I don't. I didn't a couple of minutes ago, I'm not going to in ten minutes and guess what? I'm not going to tomorrow, the next day or the day after that!" Tim snapped.

"Are you sure?" He really wanted Tim to talk to him about it and if pushing him was the way to do it then he was going to push. He hadn't realized the irony of the situation. Not too long ago Tim was the one desperately pushing Nathan to talk about his family. If Nathan had realized that he probably wouldn't have been so persistent.

"You're such a hypocrite Nathan. Can you honestly stand there and try and get me to open up to you when you haven't done the same?" Tim asked.

"Whoa, where the hell did that come from?"

"Where did it come from? Are you serious?" Tim asked, frustrated. "You do realize that for months you've been avoiding talking about your parents and now you want me to talk about my mom? Hey Nate, how are your parents?"

"Fuck off Tim," Nathan said.

"Hey, you wanted to talk about. You think you can offer insight into my life so let's hear it. What does Dr. Nathan recommend?"

"You think I don't know what you're feeling, what you're going through?"

"No Nathan, I don't think you do."

"Of course I don't Tim. I don't have a fucking clue what it feels to be abandoned by a parent. I don't know what it feels like to not feel wanted. Fuck you Tim."

"Oh my gosh," Tim said sarcastically, clapping his hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, the great Nathan Scott has just shed some light into his life. I'll alert the media."

"What the hell is wrong with you? I'm trying to be your friend, but you're being a jackass."

"Hey, I learned from the best."

Nathan scoffed. He turned to walk away from Tim, but Tim wasn't finished with him. "Leaving so soon?" Tim called out.

"I'm not going to stand here and listen to you chew me out for trying to be your fucking friend."

"Of course you're not," Tim taunted. "You're too busy feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'm feeling sorry for myself?" Nathan asked, taken aback. "You're the one feeling sorry for yourself. You're so fucking angry that you don't even realize she came back."

"Well I didn't ask her to come back," Tim yelled. "I have a mom, I don't need another."

Nathan decided he had enough of fighting with Tim in the middle of the street so he left to go home. The whole way to his house he was seething. He thought Tim was being selfish for not giving Michelle a chance. Nathan would kill to have his Mom or Dad want a relationship with him.

Nathan walked into his house to find it empty, which wasn't surprising. His Dad was probably off doing mayoral duties or finding new ways to tell him he wasn't good enough. His Mom… well, she was either getting wasted or going to get wasted. He'd never had anyone to greet him when he came home, his family never sat down all together for dinner and his parents never went to his basketball games. He'd learned a long time ago not to expect his parents to be… well parents, but it didn't stop him from wanting them to be there.

Not wanting to be wallowing in his misery he called a person he'd learned to confide in. "Hey," he said into the phone. "You busy? I need to talk. Meet me at the River Court in 20 minutes."

Tim angrily walked into his house, cursing Nathan. Nathan had no right trying to give him advice. Tim looked around for his Mom and Dad and saw that they were no where to be found. He found Emily in her room playing with her dolls.

"Hey Em," he said. No matter how mad he was Emily always found a way to cheer him up.

"Hi Tim!" she said brightly. "Where were you?"

"Basketball," he replied. He walked into her room and sat on her bed.

"Why are you sad?" she asked, sitting next to him.

"I got in a fight with Nathan."

"About what?" she asked innocently.

"Stuff," he replied vaguely. He really didn't want to get into the whole complicated scenario… especially with his little sister.

"Oh," she said knowingly. "Growned up stuff."

Tim sat there thinking about the mess that had become his life. He watched Emily play with her dolls and smiled. He thought about Michelle and how she wanted to spend time with him. He knew that if he decided to agree to spend time with her it would hurt his Mom, but if he said he didn't want to see her he would be lying. He wanted to know her and he wanted to know why. He had questions and she was the only one who had the answers.

Haley and Lydia walked around downtown shopping bags in one hand, ice cream cones in the other.

"You know, since we're eating ice cream does that mean we're not going to have cake?" Haley asked.

"Of course we're going to have cake! I made that especially for today."

"So, what now?" Haley asked. They'd been out shopping and Haley had bought a guitar. She'd always been fascinated with the guitar and had been meaning to learn how to play one, but she'd never had the time. Since she now owned one, there was no reason to not learn.

"Are you hungry? Want to stop by the restaurant and get some food?" Lydia suggested.

"Sure," Haley replied. She loved stopping by the restaurant her parents owned, mostly because it had the best Mac n Cheese in Tree Hill.

They started in the direction of the restaurant when someone caught Lydia's eye. "Isn't that Nathan?" she asked Haley.

Haley focused on the boy in question. It looked like the person was going to the River Court so Haley was almost positive it was him. "I think it is. I'm going to say hi. I'll meet you at the restaurant."

Since Haley had a couple of bags and a guitar in her hand it took her longer to get to Nathan. By the time she reached the River Court Nathan was there with someone. Haley couldn't tell who, but she knew it was a girl. Their backs were to her so she made her way to a tree near by, hoping to figure out who it was and what they were talking about.

She couldn't hear much of what they were saying, but she knew the girl was Rachel. From the look of Nathan's attire it was possible that he went to the River Court to play basketball, but she didn't see a ball in sight.

Her mind went into overdrive trying to figure out what was going on. Could he have been seeing Rachel? It didn't make sense to her. Nathan told her he loved her, but was seeing Rachel behind her back?

Rachel gave Nathan a hug and they walked closer to the tree Haley was hiding behind.

"Sorry for bothering you Rach," Haley heard Nathan say.

"I told you at camp that if you ever wanted to talk about your parents again I'd be there."

Haley stood in shock. He trusted Rachel enough to talk about his parents, but he didn't trust her? She was angry that Nathan didn't feel like he could trust her, but she was more hurt than angry. It seemed no matter what Rachel would always have something with Nathan that she and Nathan didn't.

"Haley," Nathan said in surprise when he saw her. "This isn't-"

"What I think right?" Haley interrupted. "Because this isn't you and Rachel talking about something important, something you couldn't share with me, your girlfriend, right?"

"Hales-"

"No Nathan. No," she stated firmly. "Don't… just don't ok?" With that said she began to quickly walk away. Nathan attempted to go after her, but was stopped by Rachel grabbing his arm.

"Let her go Nathan," Rachel suggested.

"I can't let her go," he said angrily. He ran to catch up to her and when she wouldn't stop he grabbed her arm. "Haley, stop."

"Why?" Haley asked.

"Because you can't leave! You're angry and I'm-"

"No. Why Rachel? Why not me?" Haley asked, tears shining in her eyes.

"Is that what this is about?"

"No, it's not that you told Rachel. You said you loved me Nathan so why won't you let me in? Why did you let Rachel in?"

"It's not a competition between you and Rachel, Haley."

"So why does it feel like it is? And why does she always win?"

"I love you Haley, not Rachel," Nathan insisted.

"Do you?" Haley asked. Before he answered Haley said, "Because you can't love someone and not trust them."

"I trust you Haley."

"Then tell me," she said.

"I." Nathan couldn't get the words out. Something was holding him back and he knew that if he couldn't tell her then she would walk away. He wanted to tell her that it hurt him every time his parents didn't go to a basketball game or how it hurt that they didn't want him. "I can't."

Haley looked down as tears escaped her eyes. She nodded her head and looked back at Nathan. "Neither can I."

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