Chapter 44:

January 12, 2026- Seattle Washington

Meredith had taken time off of work. She didn't work when she could spend time with Derek. She had only a limited idea of the time they had left and she didn't want to miss a second of it. The girls continued going to school, but they had forgotten almost every other aspect of their life. They were as tormented by this as their mother was. They need to be there with their father. The four of them had always been close; Meredith had made sure of it just so they wouldn't have to be raised like she was. But now it was different. The perfect family that they once formed was falling apart.

After crying for days and moping around the house, Meredith finally forced herself to realize that that wasn't helping. It was probably hurting Derek more than anything; making him feel guilty for something he couldn't control. So now she had made a resolution. She would be happy. Or at least pretend to be happy. After all, the mind is very gullible. If you lie to it enough, you tend to start believing it. And this way she'd be able to make more memories with Derek.

Meredith woke up with Derek beside her, his arms wrapped around her. She could tell he was still asleep and she didn't move. She didn't want to lose this. She wanted to savor it. It was times like these where she was with Derek, but he was lost in his own world, that she let her guard down. She let the smile drift from her face and her eyes become surrounded with tears. She stopped letting them fall, but she knew they were there.

As she saw Derek's eyes flutter open, she let the fake smile once again become plastered to her face. "Good morning, beautiful," he muttered as he forced himself awake.

"Good morning, McDreamy," she said with a little giggle

"McDreamy, huh? When did that start anyways?" he asked, rolling on top of her.

"Cristina."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised," he said smiling as he kissed her.

"Derek. Remember what Dr. Henderson said," she said, interrupting their make out session.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," he said, beginning to kiss her again.

"Derek."

"Okay, fine," Derek said as he rolled off her, "I'll be a good boy."

After Meredith and Derek had finally forced themselves out of bed, Meredith decided they needed to do something. "We should dance," she said smiling.

Derek looked up at her from the couch. "Dance?"

"Yes, dance. You said you don't dance in public, but we are home by ourselves so you don't have any excuses," Meredith said as she pulled him off the couch.

"Dance?" he asked again once he was standing up.

"Please?" Meredith asked beginning to pout.

"Fine," Derek said as he began to twirl her around their living room.

There are no guarantees in life
Not for the present,
Nor for the future.
All I know is
That I'm here;
Don't know for how long.

As Derek lost himself in the musicless dance, he was mesmerized by Meredith's smile. He couldn't imagine not having that smile by his side. Her golden brown hair flowing through the hair almost made is heart sunk. He couldn't leave this. Not now.

I love the way
You live so intensely
Enjoy every minute of life
With space to swing
Your arms around
Laughing loudly

Anyone with eyes could tell that Meredith wasn't really this happy. No matter how many smiles she wore or jokes she threw out, no one could mask the look in her eyes. No matter how much Derek knew this, he couldn't force himself to tell her to stop. He didn't want to see her cry anymore. He'd seen too much of that before this cancer thing ever came about.

Unlike me
Unlike me
Do you think I'm strange?
Unlike you
Unlike you
I am not pretending

Derek tried. He really did. Just for her, he tried to smile. Sometimes it came easier than other times, but it was becoming increasingly harder. His coughing fits were becoming even more unbearable and his chest continued to tighten nonstop. No matter how much it hurt, he didn't say anything. He at least could keep his mouth shut and not worry Meredith more than she already was.

There is no time,
There is no time,
There is no time,
Time doesn't really exist.

Meredith didn't know, but they'd given him a new life expectancy. It's shorter than it was before. He didn't have the heart to tell her. As the days counted down, he knew it would get harder on her to pretend, so he just acted like he was never told that he might only have a month or two left.

The past, the present,
And the future,
Are all side by side,
Hand in hand.
You move and change,
Yet you go nowhere:
Everything stays the same.

Yet, right now, doing the most physically demanding thing he'd done in weeks, he couldn't feel any pain. All he could feel was Meredith's hair gently grazing his face as she spun and her fingertips wrapped with his own. He could feel her laugh going through his body, savoring it as if it might be the last he ever hears. Her smile finally becoming genuine becomes captured in his soul. He didn't want to let go of this moment, this feeling. He didn't want to let go of her.

You stare at me,
And ask me questions,
Makes me nervous,
This room it keeps a constant tone
While I'm on a roller coaster

He knew there were thoughts flying through her head. Unanswered questions and so many other things, but she kept them inside. She did it for him, just like everything else she did anymore. Derek knew he wasn't completely facing the issue with his health. Only in his mind would he admit the fatal outcome that was headed for them. He never would say it out loud. At least this way he wouldn't be able to hear his own voice ringing through his ears.

Unlike me
Unlike me
Do you think I'm strange
Unlike you
Unlike you
I am not pretending

Derek still couldn't feel his pain. He knew it was there, beckoning at him, but he refused to surrender to it. Right now, he had one last chance to make his wife genuinely happy and he was going to take advantage of it, no matter what strain it put on him physically. His breath began to shorten, but he took no notice of it. He continued to dance with his wife as if there was no tomorrow. After all, there might not be.

There is no time
There is no time
There is no time
Time doesn't really exist

Derek's smile matched Meredith's and he could tell it lifted her spirits. He was so happy that he could make her smile like this, a real Meredith smile, something that had become quiet rare lately. Before he even noticed, he was slowing down and so was she. A worried look took over her smile as she stared into his eyes.

There is no time
There is no time
There is no time

She watched as he let go of her hand and grabbed his own chest. He was searching for air and he couldn't find it. Meredith went pale and she froze. She was a doctor. She should be able to handle this, but for some reason she couldn't. Before she had been able to make herself move, he fell to the ground and everything went black.

Time doesn't really exist