November the 29th

Sometime after Potions but before Divination.

Ah, my dear, we meet again. TAHAHAHAHAHA... HA. I have very important news for you! Tis shocking yes it is!

It happened during Transfiguration class, here are the notes...

And the key, because I'm sure you can't be bothered to decipher who's writing goes with who's who with extra whoooo.

KEY!!!!
James
Remus
Mr. Amazing (i.e – me)

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Breaking news on the Lily front!

Oh dear, that doesn't sound good, now does it Remus?

No, not good at all. Well, not good for Lily anyways.

She agreed to go out with me!!!!!!

GASP! Really? Was she drugged?

No, not to my knowledge.

Maybe you dreamed it.

No, not to my knowledge.

Maybe it wasn't really her.

Shut it, Paddy.

Did you just call me Paddy?

Yes, I believe he did.

Oh my.

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Yes, and that is the whole shocking case. I didn't believe it at first but Prongs insisted it to be true! Oh my! I know! I was quite shocked as well!

You know what this means?

...

You don't, do you?

Well, I'll tell you, because you obviously don't know. Lily has been kidnapped by aliens, and they have taken over her body and now they are after James.

They are going to eat his brain.

I don't think you understand the seriousness of this situation!!!! This is horrible!!!! James' poor mushy little brain is going to become some aliens pudding!!!!

Poor James.

Let us take a moment of silence for him.

Okay, moment over. Now, onto the next bit of breaking news for the day which is far far more important than anything that has to do with James' brain. I am going to be on a poster!

Thats right! You heard me!

A real, live, moving poster! That will hang in a shop somewhere!

And all the pretty girls will look at it and think "Oh, my, what a nice looking lad!"

and then they will feint.

Maybe they can put my owling address on the bottom of the poster somewhere so they can drop me a note now and then, eh?

I know your dieing to know how it happened,so I shall tell you in a -wait for it- memory flashback!!!!!!!

Alright, here we go...

There I was, casually walking along the streets of Hogsmead, flicking my hair and so on when this fellow (about a million years old and rather smelly) comes up to me...

He said "Hello there, my name is Archibald Somethingorother and I need a model for an add I'm running for the new Cleansweeps. I was wondering if you would like to be in it?"

I said no.

HA! Got you there!

"I s'pose..." I said, with this great air of dignity and supreme awsomeness. But hey, thats me, no need to be surprised, really.

"Alrighty then, lad, just stop my my office tomorrow at four and we can arrange suitable payment and so forth." and he handed me a business card and trolloped off to frighten small children, or something of that nature.

-AND OF FLASHBACK!!! oops, I mean END! END OF FLASHBACK!-

And I spose your wondering how I got to Hogsmead, eh? Well, I know things. Secret things. Like secret passageways to get to the remarkable Hogsmead with out anyone else knowing! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And I also know that a nick-nack is a small collectible thinger, often found in the houses of the elderly. Like, you know, little bobble headed dogs and collectible mushrooms and so on.

I know, its shocking how knowledgeable I am, isn't it?

Back to the subject. I am going to be a model!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

-We interrupt this diary entry for an important news broadcast-

(Not really, don't worry.)

James came strolling into the common room like a strolling thing, head held high in the air, oblivious to the fact that his brain is going to be eaten.

"Sirius, mate?"

"Yes, here, no, not there, no... no...no ... BEHIND THE SOFA YOU FOOL!"

Finally having found his friend James looked behind the sofa, arms folded, looking quite concerned.

"Remus sent me to talk to you." he said.

"And why has Remus sent you to talk to me when he could quite easily have gotten off his hairy bum and talked to me himself?"

"Well, because I am more your size, so its less likely that you would kill me."

"Why would I-

Sirius was cut off as James grabbed Sirius' diary and gracefully (not) ran away.

Sirius paused for a moment before calmly getting up and following James out of the portrait hole and out into the corridors.

"Why did you do that?" he asked, obviously confused.

"Because, Sirius, Peter and Remus and I all agree that you are spending too much time with this book. That and Lily wants it back."

Sirius blinked at him.

James blinked back.

They stood there blinking at each other for almost a full minute before Sirius grabbed his book back and calmly walked back up to the common room.

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Sorry about that, James has clearly not had enough fiber today.

I just wanted to say "adios" because I am off to Divination, and then I have a date with a nice little lady named ... wait um... I forget, but don't worry, I'll remember sometime before our date.

Anyways, I've got to go, because Professor Sheepsbreath gets quite cranky if I am late for class.

I don't blame her, I am amazing. It is understandable that she would miss me.

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4:00PM
Divination

Boring...

so desperately boring...

James is acting all high and mighty because his brain is going to be gobbled up.

Oh, wait, I didn't actually tell him about that, did I?

Maybe I should tell him...

Nahhh. You can do that, I can't be bothered for I am now on the path to becoming a famous poster star.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, Professor Sheepsbum has informed me that I will fall down a flight of stairs today.

How pleasant.

On the plus side everybody knows that Divination is all a hoax, and not to be believed.

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Sirius has asked me to tell you that he will not be writing today for he has broken both of his arms in a very tragic accident involving a girl and a trick step

Yours truly,

Remus Lupin.

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"Oh, and don't forget to add that the girls name was Ingrid. And that I will never go out with her again."

"And should I add the reason why you will never go out with her again?"

"Yes."

"What is the reason?"

"That she is very violent, and pushed me down the steps."

"Indeed."

Yeah, thats right, another chapter. I know your shocked. It was short, and pointless, but thats what makes it funny :)
And before you go, I want to try out subliminal messages with you, okay? Now, I want you to read the following word twenty times.

Review.

Did you do it? Did you read it 20 times? Good, now, review. You know, click the little button at the bottom of the computer screen and type up something about how you laughed and laughed for hours after reading this? Pretty please?
Okie dokie,
BYE!
-Kat