I don't own anything.
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Chapter 5: All Your Revelations Are Belong To Us
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Yoshi and the Pokemon had moved the argument into the wide field that was the Mansion's garden. No-one was around to see, apart from one Smasher leaning against a tree, far away.
"I am not evil, I'm telling you!" shouted Pichu again. "Kirby's using the dead corpse me!"
"How could he?" asked Yoshi defiantly. "Isn't that the point? That it's dead?"
"Then why don't I know what Kirby's doing, then, Yoshi?" asked Pichu, enraged, glaring at Yoshi. "I haven't been following him around, when I was dealing with you two and Jigglypuff, and hearing stuff from Ness' room, and being accused of evilness by Mewtwo!"
"Oh...good point..." sighed Yoshi, deciding that he might as well believe Pichu. "Well, I hope yours is the only reanimated corpse. And have any of you seen Link, Falco, Luigi, and Falcon?"
"Come to think of it, no I haven't..." realised Pikachu.
"Maybe they're looking for something?" suggested Pichu.
"But, isn't that someone over there?" asked Pikachu, squinting at the faraway spectator. "Let's go and ask them!"
"They're coming over here!" smiled Yoshi. "What's that they're taking out? It looks long and shiny!"
Samus Aran sprinted over, and fired a Super Missile, narrowly missing Yoshi's stomach. Pikachu stared at her, mouth agape.
"Now, see, if I was part of a death scheme, I'd have known about that." said Pichu smugly. "Good thing no-one is in my room!"
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Link, Falco, Luigi, and Falcon were in Pichu's room, and they were in the middle of a heated discussion.
"Shouldn't we think carefully about this-a?" asked Luigi timidly.
"Why? We're so close!" grunted Link.
"Well, now that we've-a discovered Master Hand is a brain-dead tool-a, we're storming an innocent child's-a bedroom in search of weapons." pointed out Luigi.
"What if that wasn't Master Hand?" interjected Falco.
"His face...uh-a, palm showed up on-a Link's Smash Ball!" yelled Luigi.
"Luigi, shut up, you have no friends." pointed out Link calmly. Luigi folded his arms sadly, muttering about "disturbing reminders".
"Yeah, you're almost as pathetic as Tack Jhompson..." muttered Fox, walking up the stairs. He seems to pass by a lot. Hmm.
"Fox?" asked Falco.
"No, actually, I'm a different talking fox who commands a team of mercenaries, while searching for my deceased father." said Fox sarcastically.
"Oh, OK." nodded Falco.
"Anyway..." muttered Fox, glaring at the mental seesaw that was Falco Lombardi, "I've been wandering around for five cha--sections of events...and I've heard some interesting stuff."
"What-a is it?" asked Luigi, wiping away tears.
"Well, Kirby is trying to find Ness, for some sort of revenge after Ness threw him out of his room. And he revived a Pichu corpse to help him using a Star Rod. Then as I was passing Ness' door, I heard Kirby. Or, I think it was Kirby. He sounded kind of...different..." explained Fox, to four confused looks.
"A Star Rod revived him." repeated Falco, in disbelief. "I better check with Fox."
"Yeah..." muttered Fox. "Anyway, another thing about Ne--" but he was cut off.
"We don't have time for all your crap, McCloud!" yelled Link boldly. He then softened immediately. "Did you hear how totally cool I sounded?!"
"Wait, let me help! I know more!" called Fox, brandishing his blaster.
"Fox, we'll be storming Ness' room, where there's apparently dangerous things, with no weapons, and a suicide plan." said Link gently. "What possible use could we have for a well-built, experienced gunman?"
"I could be a lookout?" asked Fox. "Or, you could use me for info! Or, you could leave me for dead at the end? Won't that be fun?!"
Marth walked past for no reason, pointing and laughing.
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"Well, hello Samus..." mumbled Pikachu, raising his arms.
"Yes, I was wondering what you three were whining about." grinned Samus. "What was it, the rules of Little League or some crap?"
"We don't even have home-run bats!" cried Yoshi, burying his Home-Run bat. "Don't kill us, Mr. Woman!"
"Please tell me you're here for Pikachu!" whined Pichu, waving an arm at the older mouse.
"Don't worry...I'm just here to see if any of you where Ness is." continued Samus calmly. Suddenly, a vibrating glow issued from behind Pichu. "Make this call count." snarled Samus, aiming her Arm Cannon at Pichu's face. Pichu obliged.
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Jigglypuff was relaxing in Mewtwo's private clearing. She was bouncing around animatedly, while Mewtwo kept an annoyed eye on her, and a lonely Bowser slept some feet away.
"So now that dark forces have taken Pichu and made him evil, do you think he'll be forced out of the Mansion?" asked Jigglypuff. Mewtwo grunted, and Jigglypuff continued, "Then it'd just be us and Pikachu! But that's not a lot of Pokemon in the house...and also, I don't like Pikachu."
"I don't really care." sighed Mewtwo, flexing his arms. Because those scrawny things? Puh-lease.
"Oh, I know! Maybe we can get another of the 489 remaining Pokemon to join the mansion!" smiled Jigglypuff. "Then we can give Pikachu away!"
"I don't think that would be a good id-" began Mewtwo, but the end of his sentence was drowned out by a Smash Ball ringing.
"Oh, Pichu's calling me!" smiled Jigglypuff, checking her Smash Ball. "Probably to check if he's still my homeboy, yo! Or to convince me to join the side of evil! Excuse me!"
"Gladly..." sighed Mewtwo, refraining from destroying the pink one with a tree.
"Yes? Hello evil Pichu!" said Jigglypuff. "What can I do for you today?"
"So, Samus," issued Pichu's higher-than-usual voice pointedly. "You showed up and decided to attack us! With your gun!"
"My name is Jigglypuff!" smiled Jigglypuff.
"With the full intent of killing us if we don't relay information on Ness!" continued Pichu.
"This is the wrong number!" said Jigglypuff, her smile fading.
"Here in the middle of the garden. Samus. You found us! IN THE GARDEN! SAMUS!" Pichu's voice was rising.
"Um, middle, no, I'm in the clearing." said Jigglypuff. "The cleeeeeeeaaaaaring. Have the evil forces driven you crazy?"
"If only someone nearby, someone who could bring a nearly omnipotent psychic creature and the King of Koopas, knew what was happening, and decided to help. Someone who could have PINK SKIN! Who understood the danger we were in, and FREAKING HELPED US." continued Pichu.
"Hehe, yeah, you went nuts." laughed Jigglypuff, hanging up. Just as she did so, however, Bowser stood up and walked off. "I wonder if Bowser heard?" wondered Jigglypuff.
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Pichu was holding the Smash Ball in disbelief, with Pikachu, Yoshi, and Samus staring at him.
"Why are you telling me all this?" asked Samus. "I know what's going on, and have no intention of helping..."
"Yeah, haven't we spent almost a whole ch-SECTION OF EVENTS in this perilous danger?" asked Yoshi, puzzled.
"I just want everyone here to know about SAMUS AND US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GARDEN!" growled Pichu, holding the Smash Ball up to his face.
"But we do know." said Yoshi.
"Samus. Who carries weapons." stated Pichu.
"We can see that!" cried Yoshi, exasperated.
"And that we're in the garden. Which isn't the main hall. Or anyone's room. Or the clearing, or the roof, or the front lawn, or Kansas." said Pichu through gritted teeth.
"We get it!" shouted Yoshi.
"I could write all of this down..." muttered Pichu.
"No!" called Yoshi.
"I think some sort of deathbed pressure has screwed up Pichu." observed Samus.
"Never mind him, what do you want with Ness?" asked Yoshi. "He's just been playing a game, he hasn't hurt anyone!"
"Exactly, the game." nodded Samus. "His copy is special, and will activate upon completion!"
"THE GARDEN!" shouted Pichu. "BEHIND THE MANSION!"
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Link and the mix of the stupid and flamboyant were looking out of a window on the second floor.
"Hey, there's Pikachu, Pichu, and Yoshi!" noticed Link.
"It looks like they're in trouble!" cried Falco. "Is that Samus? What's she doing?"
"Heh, we can just save them from Samus and demand entry into Ness' room in exchange!" smiled Link. "Change of plans, we're going to defeat Samus instead of killing ourselves!" Just then, all four of them saw Bowser stride out into the open garden towards Samus.
"Bowser-a!" cried Luigi, leaving a questionable stain.
"I stepped in it!" cried Falco.
"Another change of plans!" shouted Link, his knees shaking.
"Abort-a!" screamed Luigi, jumping out of the window.
"Suicide mission it is!" called Link, walking away.
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Samus was explaining things to Yoshi and the 'chus.
"Ness is undertaking the most important stage of his life." said Samus. "And we're going to make sure he succeeds."
"Well, Adventure Quest Journey Pilgrimage 3 is freaking hard, so guess what?" smiled Yoshi. "EPIC FAILURE!"
"A friend is ahem, supervising him right now. I'm just here to get rid of obstacles." laughed Samus.
Yoshi groaned, and turned to Pikachu. "Pika, don't your cheeks glow or something to indicate danger?"
"No, they glow up to destroy people with electricity." said Pikachu.
"Wow, that's awesome." groaned Yoshi sarcastically. "Congratulations."
"Oh no, Pikachu can kill me!" cried Samus in mock horror. "What will I do?"
"Even if he can't, there's only one person on your side right now!" smiled Pichu. "And it's you!"
Samus gave a sadistic smile, and Bowser stepped up to the group.
"YES! IT WORKED!" cried Pichu gleefully, hugging the Smash Ball. "I can't believe Jigglypuff was listening! Now there's even more of us, Samus! In your face!"
"Oh really?" Samus stifled a laugh.
Bowser cracked his knuckles. "Guess who else is in on it?" he smirked.
"Why does something have to happen at the end of each ch-SEGMENT?" asked Pichu, crestfallen.
"Put 'em up, little boys!" growled Bowser, raising two massive fists.
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And now the end of chapter 5. Yayayaya. Oh, and for anyone who was hoping for more Evil Kirby, too bad. Hehehe. REVIEW!