There wasn't a minute that passed when I wasn't thinking about him. I wished every day that I had gone with him. Slowly I realized, even if I tried to deny it, he has become a part of me. Every morning before I open my eyes after I woke from sleep, I always smelled his cologne. I finally concluded that it was just my imagination.

When I opened my eyes, the smell of him is gone. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find that familiar scent. It was the same scent that took my breath away every single time. It was the scent that made me smile all day long even if it the day couldn't get any worst.

It was the scent that made him a part of me. When I opened my eyes this morning, I saw a face that I would recognize even if I lost my memory or something. I took a quick glance at the clock on my side-table. I quickly got up and without even changing my clothes; I went to the door and opened it. I saw the flower that was so familiar to me. It comforts my heart every time to see the eyes that the flower has wrapped itself around. 'Hey, sweetie…I finally found the time to come and visit you which I had been wanting to do so for such a long time.'

'Oh…it's so good to see you again!' I wrap myself around him tightly. The flower looked so strange on him but despite that he was still in one of his best looks. 'Yes…' he came in and I shut the door behind him. 'How's the shoot yesterday?' I paused for a while, thinking. 'Well, lets see…it's not really satisfying…' we laughed. It's so good to hear the same laughter that brought my heart back to my soul after sorrow has swallowed it down completely. 'Sweetie, I've brought some really good tea leaves with me this time…' he passed me the paper bag he was holding all the time. 'Why didn't you ring the bell, huh?' the last time he came, he brought the recipe of the stew that he used to make.

'Well, I guess I understand that models' sleep is as precious as gold…' he laughed softy. 'I heard that you got engaged.' He asked after a long silence, folding his hands neatly on his lap. I went into the kitchen and made us some tea with the tealeaves he brought. My mouth hanged open and almost touched the floor instantly.

'Yes…' I said softly with a slight taste of guilt. 'Oh…how did you ended up in this state, sweetie?' he said with sympathy like I was a kid abandoned and neglected by the world. 'I'm not quite sure myself…' I suddenly felt so empty inside. Like something is missing from the very day he left town and found someone waiting for him on the ship. He took a part of me with him that day. I could never forget.

Silence.

'Are you sure that this what you want, Yukari?' I was wondering whom he was calling and suddenly realize that it was I. This is the first time he called me by that name. It's been a very long time since the last time I heard someone say that name. I laughed at myself.

He took a zip from the tea I placed in front of him a few minutes ago. It hit me at that very moment. The questions came back. Those that I wanted to ask nut was too afraid to do so because I was scared that it would hurt too much for me to bear alone.

I didn't answer his question. He gave me all the time I needed to think everything through. I started from ten years ago. When my soul is still as pure as water, when no frowns hid under the smile, when my heart was still beating. When I was still breathing in, and before I stopped believing in what I believe in for my whole life. When my greatest dreams was yet to be destroyed.

It was during the time that I thought it was going to last forever.