Chapter Three
Lost

He'd gone too far this time. She sat in her room, curled up in a corner on the floor, afraid to move. It all just hurt too much. The light seared her eyes, and she had this unbearable ringing in her ears. She wouldn't go to sleep. She couldn't … Cyrus had said, as soon as she slept … "everything would be different." Those were his words exactly. And they chilled her.

She kept repeating over and over to herself, "My name is Rinoa, and Squall is going to save me."

She hated having to be saved … but she couldn't get herself out of this one. Damn it … where was he? The tears formed at the corners of her eyes and she didn't brush them away.

She'd known something of unspeakable horror was going to happen when she walked into the "torture chamber" (as she referred to it now) that afternoon. Her eyes looked over to the table and saw several instruments that she didn't recognize, as well as syringe full of some kind of serum.

She wanted to turn and run before he noticed she was there. Whatever the hell he was planning … he could just forget it. No fucking way in hell was he going to inject whatever the hell that was into her body. She was already at the door, forgetting about going home or anything. It was better to be a prisoner here, than to be "free" and pumped full of some poison.

If she'd ever be free at all, that was. She was beginning to seriously doubt that Cyrus would let her go. He had told her that he had let Edea and Ellone go, as promised. She hoped that they were okay, and that they had told everyone where she was. But it had been nearly a week already since that first session in the "lab" with him. And every day, he seemed to find something new and terrible to do to her.

And every day, she wondered if anyone was going to come for her.

She made up her mind, then and there. If she had to stay, she wasn't going to be some sort of unnatural science experiment. Not anymore. Her hand was on the doorknob, she was just seconds away, when the icy hand (of Death) was on the back of her neck.

"Leaving so soon, Rinoa?" he purred at her ear, causing her to involuntarily gag. He pulled her back roughly, and before she knew it, she was strapped into the chair. And he was coming at her with the syringe.

She couldn't help it, she sobbed. "Please, please, don't. I won't leave. I'll stay here! I promise. Cyrus." She thought using his name would help her -- how, she didn't know, but she'd always heard that you were supposed to do that with attackers. Though the details were fuzzy now, it didn't matter. She just wanted to stay alive and sane.

"I don't want you to stay," he hissed cruelly, and she swallowed hard. "I want you to go back to your precious Commander, and see what's there for you. I want you to come crawling back to me, Rinoa. I want to see you beg." He laughed mirthlessly. "And you'll see. There's no one out there who loves you. They don't even know your name." He touched her face gently and she recoiled as best she could while trapped in that chair. "There's only me, now."

"You're lying!" Rinoa practically shrieked. "You're just … saying this!" But in the back of her mind, she wasn't so sure. What purpose would it serve for him to say these things to her? "Squall would never forget me, he couldn't." Her voice was softer now as she had a sudden thought. Squall was her knight. They were bonded -- beyond anything on this plane of existence. A part of him would always know her, no matter what might happen. The thought gave her unimaginable comfort, and she looked up at Cyrus with fire in her eyes.

He seemed nonplussed by this. Either he knew nothing about Sorceress' Knights, or he just really didn't care. "I'm going to inject you with this now, and in about four hours, you will fall into a deep sleep. And when you wake up …" There it was, that cold laugh again. "Everything will be different." He stuck the needle into the muscle in her upper arm and she winced from the sting.

Much to her surprise, he didn't do anything else to her that day. Instead, he told her to go back to her room and "wait." She didn't know why, but something about that single word was singularly terrifying.

Wait for what, exactly?

She felt her eyelids growing heavy, and she knew, no matter how much she chanted or talked to herself, fighting off this sleep was a battle she couldn't win.

She only prayed that she would wake up.

xXx

It took Irvine nearly a week to get to Trabia by boat, and he arrived late at night. He cursed the fact that he couldn't have just used the Ragnarok. If everyone back home hadn't suddenly gone mental, he could have. He lifted his bag and shouldered his gun, prepared for anything on the trek from the docks to the Garden. The Balamb headmaster had come to offer his support to the ongoing restoration campaign, so Irvine knew he'd be there. He couldn't help but feel irritated. It seemed as though every time the shit hit the fan in Balamb, Cid Kramer was conveniently absent.

He had no trouble gaining admittance to the Garden here, which was a relief, but also a bit disconcerting. Was it only Balamb that had been affected by … well, whatever. Was affected event the right word? He didn't really know what was going on, but it sure as hell wasn't normal.

He found Cid among the rubble in what used to be the common room. He was talking to Trabia's new headmistress, the pretty Justina Warner. Irvine had met the woman once, when he had come here with Selphie and Squall all those months ago. To his enormous relief, she smiled brightly in greeting when she noticed him approaching. He remembered -- Selphie had liked and admired Justina -- she was the youngest headmaster of a Garden ever, at only 33-years-old. They'd often teased Quistis that she might be just like Justina someday. Irvine felt a small pang as he remembered his friends and all the good times … good times that they didn't remember, for some reason.

At least, not like he remembered them. Their memories didn't include him, and they didn't include Rinoa.

"Why, Mr. Kinneas!" she said cheerfully. "Come to fetch your headmaster back, I suppose?"

Irvine smiled back easily. "As a matter of fact …" he said, turning to Cid. His heart immediately dropped all the way to the soles of his well-worn boots.

Cid was looking at him, the picture of confusion. "I'm -- I'm sorry. I don't believe I know this young man, Justina," he said blankly, his brow furrowed deeply.

Justina laughed. "Honestly, Cid! Sometimes I don't understand your sense of humor!" She shook her head in Irvine's direction, rolling her mist-green eyes. "All right, I'll play along. Irvine Kinneas … he's a sharpshooter from your Garden! He was with Squall's group -- you know, they defeated the Sorceress."

At the mention of the Sorceress, Cid's head jerked up, an unnatural light in his eyes. "The Sorceress?" he rasped out. "What kind of sick joke is this, Justina?"

Justina was taken aback. "I -- I don't understand," she said, suddenly feeling very ill-at-ease. The Balamb Headmaster had been edgy ever since he'd received that letter a few days ago … but Justina was sure there had to be some mistake. It just … it wasn't possible, was it?

"The Sorceress is not dead," Cid hissed menacingly. "I don't know why you'd even bring this up."

"Cid …" Irvine started carefully. "Cid, the Sorceress is dead, man. We killed her, six months ago."

"That was not the Sorceress!" Cid bellowed, causing both Justina and Irvine to jump. "The true Sorceress still lives! And when I get back to Balamb, I will give the command to my SeeDs to kill her on sight!"

The hell? Irvine thought. What the hell had happened over the last week? And how the hell had he become the only sane person left from Balamb Garden.

It was then that he noticed the photograph that Cid was holding. It was of a girl, his age, with long dark hair streaked with gold, huge, innocent brown eyes, and a sweet smile.

"Rinoa!" he gasped, reaching for it.

"I thought she looked familiar," Justina said, a light suddenly dawning in her eyes. "She's your commander's girlfriend, isn't she? I knew it. Damn."

Cid snatched the picture back from Irvine. "How dare you insinuate that Squall Leonhart would associate himself with the Sorceress!" he spat angrily.

"Wait." Irvine said, holding up his hand. "What? Cid, you married a Sorceress … I don't know what's going on around here any more."

Cid's face was practically purple with rage now. "The Sorceress killed Edea. A week ago. So don't you ever say anything like that to me again."

"You honestly think that Rinoa killed Edea?" Irvine asked, incredulous.

"I know, it's unbelievable," Justina said quietly. "And apparently, another girl, Ellone something? Cid received a letter from a doctor in Esthar just a few days ago. It happened on the 23rd."

"This is insane," Irvine said. "Like, batshit insane, if I may be so bold. Cid, listen to me! Rinoa is not the Sorceress. Ultimecia was … but we got rid of her. Rinoa couldn't have done this. The 23rd -- like, that was Squall's birthday. She threw a party for him! Everyone was there!"

But no one remembers Rinoa … a voice in the back of his mind said, as he remembered the events from earlier that week, on the 24th. When he had asked about her, they had all said "Who?", and looked at him blankly.

He closed his eyes. They didn't know her name. But undoubtedly Cid would show her picture to them all, as soon as he got back to Balamb, make sure that the SeeDs knew that she was Public Enemy Number One, to be destroyed without a thought … wherever the hell she was, she was in trouble. Big trouble. If only there was some way to get to the others first, make them believe that he was telling the truth.

Another thought occurred to him then. What about Rinoa's natural, gods-given Sorceress powers? Wasn't … dammit, wasn't her knight supposed to keep her grounded, keep her from going to the dark side? What the hell would happen when she realized that her knight wanted to kill her?

Whoever was behind this … that's exactly what they wanted. Sever the bond, bring on the rage … and the Evil Sorceress.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered. "Cid, listen to me! Rinoa did not kill Edea and Ellone. She couldn't have. It's not freakin' possible. She was with Squall that night." If only he fucking remembered her! He kicked his suitcase at his feet, feeling all at once sane and impossiblycrazy.

Justina looked at him curiously. She was torn. Cid seemed to have damning evidence about Rinoa … but at the same time, his memory seemed as though it had been completely modified.

And Irvine … he remembered everything that she seemed to remember.

So … who were the crazy ones here?

Cid looked at the pair of them, disgust all over his face. "I've had enough. I'm going to bed."

When he was gone, Irvine turned to Justina, hoping he hadn't misinterpreted her. "You believe me, don't you?" he said earnestly.

The young headmistress paused, then nodded. "I do." She blew out an uneasy breath. "Someone wants the Sorceress back. And Rinoa … she has the powers, if I recall correctly." Her brow knitted. "But she has a knight, right? Rinoa's knight … it's your commander, isn't it?"

Irvine nodded. "I have to convince him, somehow, before Cid gets back to Balamb, that Rinoa is not evil, and that like, they're in love, or whatever. If he actually tries to kill her …"

Justina nodded. "It'll start all over again." She pushed her red hair back from her face. "I'll do what I can about Cid. I'll help, however I can."

"First and foremost, get that damn picture from him, and make sure they're aren't, like, any others," Irvine said. No picture was good … they'd have no way to know if they ran into her by accident that she was the Sorceress.

She nodded, "Of course, of course," she told him. She then pulled out a small notepad and a pen from the pocket of her uniform and jotted down a number. "Any time … if you find out anything. You should get back to Balamb, as soon as possible." She paused. "How will I reach you?"

Irvine pondered this for a minute. "I'll let you know. Thank you."

Justina watched the young gunman leave, and hoped with all her heart, that he was up for this daunting task he had just decided to shoulder. With a sardonic smile, she wondered if she was.

xXx

When Rinoa woke up, it was dark, and she was freezing. She looked around and discovered that she was in a forest, and there were patches of ice and snow all around her. She stood up, and stretched carefully. It was then that she noticed that she no longer wore that awful muslin dress from the lab, but she was dressed in her own clothes -- blue jeans and a royal blue sweater, her chunky-soled brown boots on her feet. She had her blaster edge with her as well, and there was a knapsack at her feet.

Cyrus definitely wanted her to come back alive. But it would never happen. She was free. She didn't know where she was exactly … but she was free. She could go home, back to Squall.

She smiled as she thought about their reunion. She could almost feel his arms around her, smell the scent of his cologne. Unbidden tears formed in her eyes, and she brushed them away. She'd be seeing him soon enough. And this nightmare would be over.

She looked around, taking stock of her location. Snow … forest … bitter cold. Trabia, maybe? She wondered where Ellone and Edea were, and hoped again that they were together, at least, and safe.

Resolutely, she picked up her bag (she didn't even want to dwell on the fact that somehow Cyrus had had access to all of her belongings, not right now), and started walking. Eventually, she hoped, she'd come to some sort of sign of civilization.

She walked for what seemed like hours before she finally emerged from the forest, and at the edge of the ocean. She could see the harbor not too far away, and she smiled, thinking she could probably stay at the nearby inn until a boat left for Fisherman's Horizon or the Galbadian continent the next day. She'd be home soon.

She hurried toward the welcoming lights of the Snowy Harbor Inn, and reached for the door at the exact same time as someone else. She pulled back quickly, muttering apologies.

"Rinoa?" the voice -- the beautifully familiar voice -- said incredulously.

Rinoa's head snapped up. "Irvine!" she breathed, her eyes filling with unexpected tears. "I'm -- so glad to see you!" She flung herself into the sharpshooter's arms, not caring at that moment about anything but the fact that he was here and he remembered her. She knew Cyrus had been lying. They would all remember her.

"Rin -- are you okay? Where've you been? Do you have any idea what's going on?"

Irvine's questions were an assault on her ears, and she didn't care. "I'm okay, I'm fine now. I'm so glad you're here." She finally released him from her death grip and looked at him. "Everyone else … are they …" She couldn't finish her sentence, for new tears had formed.

They walked into the inn and Irvine tried to find someway to avoid answering her question. "Everyone's fine," he said quietly.

Rinoa cocked her head, as she paid the fee at the desk and accepted her key. "Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Rinoa," he said softly as they walked down the corridor to their rooms. "Edea and Ellone …"

"Oh, did they make it back? I was so worried about them. They left before me, you see, and I didn't know if I was going to be able to leave. And I was worried. So are they …"

"Rinoa, they're dead."

Rinoa froze, her key positioned in the lock of her door, and just stared at Irvine. "No." She shook her head vehemently. "No, they can't …" The tears fell freely from her eyes and her lips trembled. "How?"

Irvine leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. "The word is … that you did it."

Everything fell from Rinoa's hands with a loud thump. "Me? I killed them? Irvine … you know I … I didn't. Does … does everyone know this? Does everyone think that?"

Irvine shook his head, unable to tell her the rest right now. She looked absolutely stricken. "I've been on a boat all week, and I just got here tonight. This is the first I've heard anything about it."

"I have to see Squall," Rinoa said, and she seemed to be speaking only to herself. "I have to get back to Squall. He'll protect me, he'll know the truth." She looked up at Irvine again, eyes overflowing. "He's my knight," she choked out before the sobs finally tore from her throat and she let out a keening cry.

Irvine quickly reached for the tormented girl and held her close to him. He didn't know the hell she had gone through this past week, and he could only imagine the hell that she'd go through soon enough. But for now, she had a point. Either way, they needed to get back to Squall. He ultimately was the only one who could seal Rinoa's fate -- good or bad, light or dark -- it all hinged on the Knight.

"Rinoa, it's okay, it's okay. We're going to go see Squall."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Just wanted to pop and say thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far -- it means a lot to me, really! This story has really taken on a life of it's own, and I feel like I can't write it fast enough! I hope you guys will forgive me for this incredibly angsty chapter. I hate to say it, but it's only gonna get worse before it gets better. Anyway, I hope you'll stick with me:) More to come, very very soon!