Chapter Four
Shattered Memories

"Damn it!" he grumbled irritably, dropping to his hands and knees beside his bed. He didn't know how his freaking glove could have just gone missing while he slept last night. His hand fumbled around underneath the bed, and he paused when his fingers brushed against something cool and metallic.

Frowning, he stretched his arm a little further beneath the bed until he was able to grasp the object. He pulled it out and studied it, his brow furrowed in confusion. Two rings, on a silver chain. One of the rings looked a lot like the necklace he wore around his neck -- Griever. "The hell?" he muttered as he ran his fingers along the lion's outline. He'd been looking for this ring for months.

The other ring was smaller, as though it were made for a woman's hand. There was a delicate design etched into the metal; a pair of some sort of flower, intertwined at the stems. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the knock on his door, didn't pay any attention at all, until Zell burst into the room, looking frazzled.

Squall stood up quickly and stuffed the chain into the pocket of his leather jacket. "Sorry, man, but Xu just heard from Cid, and apparently he got held up in Trabia. I guess they had more problems there than they had planned on. I was just supposed to deliver the message that he will be 'delayed indefinitely'."

"Great," Squall mumbled. Not like it was any big surprise. Cid was missing more often than not, it seemed. "Anything else?" He didn't care, but the sooner Zell filled him in, the sooner the guy would be gone.

Dammit, he hated people. When would they realize that he did not want to be their friend?

"Uh, yeah. We're supposed to take Garden back to Balamb and remain stationary until further notice," Zell replied.

"Fine, tell Nida to go ahead."

"Already done," another voice chimed in. Squall looked up to see Quistis standing behind Zell, looking concerned. "Squall, are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he said shortly. "Look, I don't have time for this. I have training to do. Quit babying me, and just … move." He pushed past the two of them and stalked angrily toward the training center.

Zell shook his head and sighed. "Man, I wish he'd loosen up," he said to Quistis, who nodded absently, still staring down the hallway after the Commander.

"Me too," she said after a long moment. "He seems … strange, right?"

Zell shrugged. "Not really any stranger than usual," he said. Noting the expression on the blonde's face, he cocked his head to the side. "You okay, Quisty?"

"It's just … Seifer said something to me the other night, and I thought it was odd."

Zell snorted. "Well, consider the source," he retorted.

"No, Zell, I'm serious," Quistis said firmly. "Selphie told you about that guy, about a week ago, said he lived here, asking about a … Rinoa?"

"Yeah, so?" Zell said, stretching his arms above his head.

"Seifer mentioned her, too."

Zell froze. "Huh?"

"It was the strangest thing … we were talking about Squall, and you know, how surly and anti-social he can be. Well, I was talking, Seifer was just making jokes about him … and all of a sudden, he got this weird look on his face and he said 'It was different, when Rinoa was here'. But it wasn't … it was almost like someone else talking through him. I mean, it sounded like him, but something was different. And as soon as he said it, he snapped right back, and didn't remember saying it at all," Quistis said, twisting her fingers nervously.

"That's …"

"Completely insane, I know. But, Zell, what are the odds?" Quistis' bright blue eyes looked worried behind her glasses.

"I don't know," Zell said. "I've never heard of this Rinoa, ever. And all of a sudden, her name keeps poppin' up, like she's someone real important that we've all just forgotten about. I don't get it. If she's that important, why the hell doesn't anyone know who she is?"

"I feel like there's just something wrong. And I can't shake this feeling, Zell," Quistis said earnestly.

xXx

Squall walked around the training center for over an hour-and-a-half, taking out his frustrations on unsuspecting Grats and Bite Bugs, wishing desperately for a T-Rexaur to show up. He could use a good workout. He didn't know what was wrong with him lately. Ever since that guy had shown up last week, Squall just hadn't felt right. The other SeeDs, normally just mildly irritating to him, now drove him absolutely out of his mind. He didn't want to talk to any of them.

Sighing, he leaned against one of the support beams and studied the palms of his hands with disdain. He hadn't been able to find his other glove, so he'd come to the training center without them, and his palms were now bloody and raw from gripping the hilt of his gunblade, hacking and slashing away at the monsters that roamed freely. He didn't care. The pain was actually a little bit of a relief. At least he knew he was still alive.

He frowned. That was a strange thought to be having. Whatever, he thought to himself, pushing off the support beam and turning to head back to his dorm room.

"Squall!" A voice from the other side of the area caught his attention, and he whirled, prepared to verbally assault whoever it was that had interrupted him. But there was no one there. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his head. "Gah!" he cried out, pressing a hand to his forehead, as the pain became so intense that he fell to his knees. This was … familiar?

He could smell the scent of cherry blossoms in the air (there are no cherry blossoms in the training center), and his head was resting in someone's lap, but he couldn't seem to open his eyes. He felt gentle fingers brush the hair off of his forehead, felt them trail lightly, almost lovingly, down the side of his face. He had the deepest sense of contentment, like this was where he was supposed to be, and then a female voice, soothing and cool to him as water; though it seemed to come from far away.

"I love you."

His eyes flew open, and he found himself back on the ground of the Training Center, Selphie, Quistis, and Zell crowded around him. "Squall! Oh, my Hyne, are you all right?" Selphie's voice was so shrill. Had it always been that damn irritating?

"I'm fine," he growled, pushing her away from him in frustration.

"What happened?" Zell asked carefully. "You almost looked like you were in the Dream World again."

Squall rolled his eyes. "Well, I wasn't. Ellone promised not to do that any more, didn't she?" he sneered coldly. After they had beaten Ultimecia, and Ellone had been reunited with Laguna, she had promised that she would no longer send any of their minds into the past without their express permission first.

"I didn't mean that you were in the Dream World, man," Zell said, holding up his hands in surrender. "Just sayin', you looked the same. Geez."

Squall put his hand on his forehead again and sighed. "Sorry. Whatever. I'm tired." He stood up and walked away from them without so much as a glance over his shoulder.

xXx

"Damn. He pushed me out too soon." Ellone sighed in frustration. "Same thing happened with Seifer."

"It's all right," Edea said soothingly, putting her arm around Ellone's shoulders. "You were able to make contact, that's a big step."

"I feel like I'm violating him," the younger woman said sadly. "I don't want to be the one who gives him these nightmares."

Edea shook her head and forced the girl she loved like a daughter to look at her. "Ellone. You have to do this." She gestured around them. "Just look."

They were back in the dungeon where this whole nightmare had started. The twenty girls that had been there before were still there. But to Edea and Ellone's horror -- they were decomposing. Corpses. They'd been dead this whole time.

Ellone sighed as she involuntarily remembered the events of the past week.

Cyrus had told them he was letting them go … he had taken them away from Rinoa, left alone at his mercy. But instead of releasing them, he had locked them back into this filthy, putrid room. And told them that they were no longer needed, Rinoa would take care of everything on her own.

Edea had convinced Ellone to use her power to find out anything that she could -- who was looking for them, how long they'd been looking -- anything at all to help Rinoa. Ellone had taken Edea to the nearest past, with Cid, and what they discovered had horrified them.

Cyrus had managed to convince Cid that Rinoa was the new sorceress, and that she had killed both Edea and Ellone. And while that was horrifying, it wasn't the worst part. Somehow, someway, Cyrus had managed to completely eradicate Rinoa from the minds of everyone who had ever known her. All she was to them now, was a murderous sorceress, with naught but world domination on her mind.

Ellone had sobbed uncontrollably after seeing this. "He is going to release her into a world that …" She looked at Edea, feeling more helpless than she had ever felt in her life. "She should never have even been a part of this, Matron."

"Squall," Edea said suddenly, and Ellone looked up, for a split second, hoping, hoping. But no. Edea had just said his name.

"What about him, Matron?"

"He's her knight. He must be with her … or she'll …" Edea didn't need to finish that sentence, Ellone knew.

"This is what Cyrus wanted all along," Ellone concluded. "But why bring us into it?"

"That part's easy, Elle." She gestured at the bodies strewn about the room around them. "He'd been searching for his perfect vessel. Look at all these girls. None of them strong enough to withstand whatever tortures he made us endure before we woke up here. Only the true descendants of Hyne could survive, and that was us. But he only needed one, and he found the one he wanted. The one who could potentially wreak the most havoc on this world."

"But why Rinoa?" Ellone asked.

Edea took a deep breath, hoping she'd be able to explain what she wanted to say. "It's very confusing, because Ultimecia technically existed in the future. But we do know some things about her, thanks to Dr. Odine's machine, and I guess, thanks to you, since your brain was the inspiration for it.

"Ultimecia had a knight. One that she loved very much. He loved her too, for awhile. And they were blissful, happy. Their bond was powerful. Supposedly the most powerful the world had ever known. And when you break a bond like that … Anyway, one day, he decided he wasn't happy any more, and he left. She never saw him again. Her grief turned to anger, her anger turned to hatred, and her hatred made her … well, you know the story." She sighed. "Cyrus picked Rinoa because her bond with Squall is the strongest bond that has ever existed between Sorceress and Knight in the history of the world."

"Stronger than Ultimecia's?" Ellone queried.

"Infinitely stronger."

"So if he were to … betray her …" Ellone began hesitantly.

"I don't need to fill in the blanks. You saw what Ultimecia did … imagine that horror and anguish released on the world again, but this time, tenfold."

Ellone sucked in a deep breath. "So Squall. We have to … what, exactly?"

"Make him remember his past, the past with Rinoa," Edea said. "But subtly. He doesn't remember her existence right now, and if you push too hard …"

Ellone smiled sadly. "He'll retreat even farther. Yes, I remember Squall well, Matron."

Ellone came back to the present, tired of reliving the past week. Tired of reliving the past, period. "I hope …"

Edea looked at Ellone, dark honey-colored eyes questioning and concerned. "Yes?"

Ellone shook her head, laughed emptily. "That's it. I hope."

Edea took Ellone's hand and squeezed. "Me too, child. Me too," she whispered.

xXx

Rinoa sat out on the deck of the S.S. Griffon, the small ship that was carrying she and Irvine from Trabia to Balamb. It was a journey that would take four days, and they were already three days in. Rinoa just couldn't wait to be back there, back in Squall's arms.

She had been confused by the destination, and she asked him about it today. "I thought Garden was at FH? Why are we going to Balamb? Do we have to change boats there or something?"

Irvine shook his head. "I spoke to the headmistress of Trabia before we left, and she told me Cid had ordered Garden to return to Balamb. So that's where we're going." He tried to hide his uneasiness about the whole situation from her. He had spoken to Justina, and she had given him some very official-looking paperwork, explaining that he and Rinoa were visiting from Galbadia and Trabia, respectively, because they were thinking of transferring to take the SeeD exam, and that they should be allowed guest accomodations and any other amenities normally provided to prospective Balamb Garden students. So that took care of getting them inside, at least. But the rest ...

He really wasn't sure if he should tell Rinoa what was going on, or wait. Maybe there was nothing to tell. Maybe once Squall saw her again, his strange bout of amnesia would be gone. At the very least, he wouldn't turn her away. At least, Irvine hoped he wouldn't. For both the sake of Rinoa, his friend, and Rinoa, the Sorceress.

And if he was being completely honest, the idea of Rinoa the Sorceress is what held him back more than anything …

He sat with her in companionable silence on the deck, staring out over the sea. The air was warmer here, now that they were farther from Trabia. "You know … the man I told you about?" Rinoa said carefully, breaking the quietude with her hesitant question.

"The bastard that kidnapped you, yeah," Irvine said, his violet-blue eyes growing dark. If only he had any idea how to get hold of that monster, well, that man would be full of holes right now, that was for damn sure.

"It's crazy, really, but he told me that nobody would remember me," she said, still not looking at him. "But that's stupid, right? I mean, you remember me. And if you remember me, then Squall …" She quickly wiped away the tears that had formed in the corner of her eyes, feeling stupid. "I'm being stupid. Of course he remembers me …"

Irvine felt his chest tighten at her words. That man, that Cyrus Blakeslee, he had done something to them. Something to everyone at Garden! But how had he managed to escape with his memories still intact? There was something gnawing at the back of his mind, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He hoped it would come to him, sooner rather than later.

Until then though … he knew now that he couldn't keep lying to her. He was the only ally she had right now. Well, he and Justina Warner, but Rinoa didn't know her. Couldn't be expected to trust her.

"Rin," he said carefully. "The thing is … I was in Trabia, to see Cid, because, well, like some really strange shit has gone down back at Garden. But unfortunately, he couldn't help me."

"I don't understand. What … what happened?" Rinoa said, unconsciously gripping the railing on the edge of the ship tightly.

"I … I left Squall's party with a girl," he said sheepishly, not meeting the brunette's eyes.

"A girl who wasn't Selphie, I take it?" Rinoa said evenly, though her voice held no accusation. She was too afraid of where this was going.

"Right," he mumbled. "Anyway, I tried to get back into Garden the next morning, and my access kept gettin' like, denied. Weird, right? Anyway, Sefie and Quisty showed up … and they didn't know who I was." He sighed. "At first, I thought it was some kinda sick joke, to get back at me for …"

"Banging the redhead?" Rinoa supplied, her eyes twinkling slightly as she thought back to the conversation she and her friends had had that night.

"Right," he said again, his face reddening slightly. "But then … Rin, I asked where you were. And they …"

She froze. "They … didn't know?" she whispered.

He shook his head sadly. "Not just that they didn't know where you were, Rin. They acted like they'd never even heard your name before."

Rinoa sank down to the floor. "It's true. It's all true, then. And … Squall?"

Irvine just shook his head, and hated hated hated himself for the look of anguish that came over the girl's face. "Rin, I'm sorry. But we're gonna fix it, whatever we have to do. I swear to Hyne, Rinoa." He sat down next to her, putting his arm around her trembling shoulders and pulling her close to his side. "Are you … okay?"

Rinoa shook her head. "No," she said honestly. "He's my knight, gods damn it! He's not supposed to forget me!"

She slammed her hand down on the wooden floor of the deck angrily. There was a loud popping noise followed by a bright flash of light, and a tremor passed through floor beneath them. She jumped to her feet, terrified. "Shit," she hissed, rubbing her hands on the front of her jeans, trying to rid herself of the itchy, pins-and-needles sensation that Ultimecia had always sent coursing through her.

"Rin …" Irvine said cautiously, standing up and taking her shaking hands in his own. "Calm down, okay? This isn't … it's not final. You guys are like, bonded, right? We can work with this, okay? Just … come on, stay with me."

Rinoa took a deep breath, tried to stay focused on the man in front of her, kept her brown eyes locked on his indigo ones. "You're right, you're right," she said, nodding. "He knows me, even if he doesn't know me. I just have to … make him remember, somehow. You'll help me, right?" Tears flowing again, she clung to his long leather duster as if he were her last lifeline in the world. "You won't leave, right?"

"No, Rin, I won't leave you," Irvine said, rubbing small circles on the frightened young woman's back. "It'll be all right, darlin'."

Rinoa looked up at him and smiled a little. His voice had always taken on that slow, lilting drawl whenever he was working his charm on some unsuspecting girl. This time, however, Rinoa knew it was merely meant to be comforting, and it was.

He continued to talk, soothing her with his words. "He fell in love with you once, and there's no damned reason why he won't again. If there's one thing that's been a constant, it is that Squall loves Rinoa. Don't see how that's ever gonna change."

Rinoa convinced herself that he was right, and finally pulled away from him and turned to look back at the water. She'd been so happy just minutes earlier, and now, all she could feel was nervousness … and dread.

Reaching up to where she used to wear her necklaces, she repeated a phrase in her mind, over and over and over again:

You're going to like me, you're going to like me, you're going to like me …

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A/N: Whew. This chapter took a LOT outta me! ;) Well, okay, so a bunch of stuff has been explained ... but there's stilllll a lot left unanswered. All in good time, grasshoppers.

And, if you couldn't tell, Irvine is my doll in this fic. Don't worry, though. I'm not going there. ;p I just really wanted Rinoa to have a friend, and he seemed like a good candidate. :)

I'm excited for the next couple of chapters, and I hope you guys are too. Thanks soooo much to everyone who has read and reviewed and all that jazz. It makes me happy to know that people are enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it.