A/N: Yeah, I'm writing up here this time! Something different I guess. Anyway ... this chapter is ALL OVER THE PLACE, just so you know. And meant to be. I really think there will only be five more chaps of this fic, tops, so everything is starting to come to a head ... and it's NOT PRETTY. I hope you guys like this chapter, even though it is, by all rights FREAKIN' CRAZY. Enjoy!

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Chapter Nine
Nevermore

His thoughts kept him awake long into the night. What had he done?

When Rinoa was there, everything was light, airy, serene. Sort of like he was looking at the world through blurred-focus lenses. She made things hazy and soft, she gave him peace of mind. The line between good and evil, black and white wasn't so clearly drawn in those moments. The world had long associated Sorceresses with evil. But not all sorceresses were bad. Edea had been a good sorceress. And if what she had told him was even partly true, then Rinoa was, too.

When he was alone, his thoughts were sharper and clearer, with a definite air of inflexibility. The world was more clearly defined in these moments. Black and white had an absolute separation. Sorceress meant Evil. Any Sorceress allowed to live free was a threat to the planet. In these times, the dark part of his mind wondered if Rinoa wasn't working with this Dr. Blakeslee on his plot to bring back the Sorceress.

But then … why would she even tell you?

She had been genuinely terrified. After she had told him about being a Sorceress, about this doctor's plan, he had seen the anguish in her eyes, could almost feel the pain radiating from her lithe form. And he said the first thing that had come to his mind.

I believe you … I'll be your Knight.

Now he wasn't sure why. True, it made more sense to keep her close to him, in case this was a plot against SeeD -- against him. But he knew that that wasn't it at all.

The bigger part of him -- the rational part -- was still a little skeptical … but he knew couldn't let her leave, not without him. Not when there was the possibility of danger.

But the part of him that he hadn't acknowledged in years -- the emotional part, the heart of him -- wanted so badly to believe that she had been telling the truth. Wouldn't that explain why the emptiness seemed a little less intimidating, now that she was here? And that part of him also acknowledged that he couldn't let her leave … without him.

They needed to find out more about this Dr. Cyrus Blakeslee. First thing in the morning, he would assign everybody to do research and find out as much as they could about the man. He wouldn't tell them what Rinoa had told him, not yet. Not until he knew whether or not he believed her.

xXx

He didn't speak to her at all the next morning. Rinoa wondered if he, too, had had trouble sleeping. She wanted to ask him, but she felt unsure around him now. He had agreed to be her Knight again (still) in a moment of extreme emotional turmoil. Discovering that the woman who had raised him, and the woman he loved like a sister had been murdered must have been hard on him. And he had said that he wasn't doing it just for her, but for everyone else's safety. This wasn't like last time. He didn't know that he loved her … he wasn't trying to save her soul, he was trying to save the world from her. She decided to give him space, and let him come to her.

It would be easier, right?

Everything had seemed almost okay the previous night. A huge weight felt like it had been lifted as she had sat there, wrapped in his embrace again. But when she woke up that morning, in her own room, all alone, things didn't seem so fine.

She skipped training, and instead walked aimlessly around the Garden. When she came to a set of grand double doors, she smiled faintly. The ballroom. Deciding to try her luck, she turned the handle, and was pleasantly surprised to find it unlocked. She walked into the large and empty room, her footsteps echoing on the highly polished floor. She looked around at the familiar space, a sense of tranquility filling her.

This was where it all began.

She stood in the middle of the floor, and though the daylight was streaming down through the domed glass ceiling, if she closed her eyes, she could perfectly imagine the moonlit night, the music, the shooting star, the boy …

Feeling unsteady, she sat down and drew her knees up under her chin. Suddenly, she had never felt more alone. She wrapped her arms around her knees, put her head down, and sobbed. No matter what, she thought, he won't let me go bad. I won't be able to hurt anyone … he won't let me. Hyne, what did Cyrus DO to everyone? Why can't Squall remember me?

"Rinoa?" The voice was a very tiny whisper, somewhere in the back of her mind. Her head jerked up, and she looked around. No one was there.

The faint sound of laughter echoed in her head now. Was she -- was she going crazy? "Rinoa … it's me."

"Ellone?" Rinoa whispered. "Oh, my Hyne, are you …"

"I'm alive. Edea too. We're still here … at the lab. I can help. I want to help you. Just a little more time … and maybe we can finally get some answers."

"How?" Rinoa asked.

"I've been trying to go through Squall, to jog his memories …"

"It was you!" Rinoa breathed.

"… but he keeps pushing me out. Seifer was a bit more receptive, but still not enough. Is there anyone that you think …"

"No, keep trying Squall," Rinoa said quietly. "I told him the truth … last night. And I'll tell him that you're still alive. He knows you can speak to people this way, doesn't he?" She nodded to herself. "Maybe he'll believe me this time. With proof."

"Okay, Rinoa. I've got to disconnect now, I'm sorry. Very soon, hopefully …"

And then the voice was gone. "Very soon, what?" she wondered out loud.

Dammit. What had Ellone meant by "very soon, hopefully"? But she'd never know, would she. She was alone again.

Or so she thought. She felt more than saw the shadow above her block out some of the sunlight. Looking up, she saw him, slate blue eyes staring at her intently. He reached out a hand and helped her stand up.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him finally.

"Well, you didn't come to training," he answered.

She shrugged. "Well, I figured, I'm not really here for SeeD, and now that you know … I just needed to be alone."

He paused. "So you're still standing by everything you told me last night?" he finally asked.

"Why wouldn't I? I told the truth. I'm sorry if you find it hard to believe. Imagine how I feel, Squall," Rinoa said helplessly.

"I can't," he said honestly. "If you really believe what you say is true, then I can't imagine what that must feel like."

"No, it's easy for you," she said coolly. "You're not the one who has to deal with all of the memories of what we used to be." Her mouth was in a firm line, and he finally took a minute to study her.

She was dressed all in white … white shorts and a white tank top, white sneakers on her feet. There was a white satin ribbon serving as a headband in her glossy dark hair. He was suddenly struck by the strong likeness that she had to an angel he'd seen in a storybook when he was much younger.

Edea had always read the orphans special stories, specifically chosen for each child. He didn't know about anyone else's, but his was about a young warrior and the angel that fell in love with him. Edea had always told Squall that the angel would always be looking out for him, and that one day, if he was very very good, he might be able to meet her. The story had been a great comfort to him after Elle had left the orphanage.

Funny that he hadn't remembered that until now …

"You were talking to yourself," he finally said after snapping out of his reverie.

Suddenly remembering, she shook her head. "No. It was … Ellone. She was connecting with me."

His head shot up. "Ellone? Sis? You mean she's …"

"She's not dead, Squall. Neither is Edea. Ellone's been trying to get through to you, but you keep shutting her out," Rinoa said quietly.

"It's been her all this time?" he asked, incredulously.

"If you just let her, she can help. She can show you the truth … and maybe we can figure out what happened." Rinoa reached out and took his hand, and a sudden jolt passed through her. She jumped back and yelped. "Ouch! What the hell was that?"

"Wait," he said bemusedly, looking at his hand, and then back at her. "C'mere for a second."

Rinoa's heart thudded in her chest as he smiled at her (oh my Hyne, it's THAT smile), and pulled her to him. With a last long look into her eyes, he leaned down and kissed her.

She lost herself in that kiss, and he didn't seem to be in any hurry to let go. In fact, he seemed to get more and more insistent as the kiss went on … she couldn't help but wonder just what in the hell was going on.

xXx

The images that he'd been denying were finally flying into his brain, one after the other. The dance, the mission in Timber, the Lunar Base, the Ragnarok, the Sorceress Memorial, the flower field, the balcony, his birthday … Rinoa, Rinoa, Rinoa …

He pushed her away from him, a little rougher than had been his intention, just to look at her. "How long has it been?" he asked hoarsely.

She looked at him, puzzled. "Uh, about three minutes, I'd say, since you went totally insane …"

"Rinoa, what's the damn date?" he barked and she jumped a little.

"September 10th," she said. "But … why?"

"September 10th. That's over two weeks. Over two weeks? Hyne, it feels like so much longer."

"You're not making any sense at all … what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you babbling like that?"

He looked at her, absolutely amazed that she would even ask such a question. "I forgot you."

Rinoa froze. "You … what?" She dared not even hope …

"What happened? While you were gone … you were gone for … over two weeks. Where were you?"

"Squall?" Rinoa choked. "Squall, are you … you mean … Oh, my Hyne you remember?"

"I'm so sorry, Rin," he said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tighter than she'd ever been held before. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she breathed, relaxing against him. "It's okay now."

"You need to tell me what happened to you," he said solemnly.

"I will. But not here … it's …" She started to cry then, unable to contain her emotions any more.

"What the hell happened to you?" Squall demanded. "Wait … you told me last night … that Blakeslee guy … Rin, did he …"

She could only nod miserably. "And he's going to come back for me. He gave me two months … and said that no one remembered me, and that I'd be all his and …"

"That's not fucking happening," Squall said venomously. "He'll have to kill me first."

"But, Hyne, Squall, no one remembers me. Honestly, if it wasn't for Irvine …" Rinoa began. "Cid apparently got information about me from Dr. Blakeslee. Saying that I killed Edea and Ellone. And he was going to come back here and give you all orders to kill me on sight. But Irvine and the Trabia headmistress managed to get rid of the file. I owe them everything. If not for them … I wouldn't have gotten back here, to you, in time … and you … you would've tried to kill me … "

"Wait … why wasn't Irvine effected by whatever it was that made us all forget?" Squall asked.

Rinoa shook her head. "The only thing I can come up with is that he wasn't here the night of your party … he left with some redhead. Ellone said she would try to help us figure it out. But it will take a while."

"Hyne, this is a lot to process," Squall muttered, rubbing his temples. "All I want to do is lock you in a room and make sure that you don't leave my sight ever again."

Rinoa laughed. "That would be good. But there's so much left to do. Hopefully Ellone can get through to everyone else … I don't even know if it'll work on them. I seemed to be the catalyst for your memory. Man, I hope I'm not going to have to kiss everyone!" she joked, eyes twinkling with merriment that she hadn't thought she'd ever feel again.

Squall's eyes went dark. "Me too," he said gruffly.

Rinoa just shook her head at him. "Like I would," she said. "I'm not a slut." He laughed, thinking about absolute insanity of the past few days.

Then he suddenly stopped and just looked at her. "How could I have forgotten you?" he whispered, touching her face.

"It's not your fault," she said, taking his hand. "C'mon, I'm starving!" She pulled him out the door, toward the cafeteria.

"Oh, I'll meet you there!" she said as they passed the hall that led to the dorms. "I just need to put my blaster edge away."

"I'll go with you," Squall said insistently.

"I'll be all right for five minutes, Commander. I'm just going to run to my room, drop off my weapon, and I'll be right there." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Go save us a good spot."

He watched her walk down the hallway toward her room, unable to shake the sinking feeling that he had in his gut. Everything … it all seemed too easy. When things were too easy, it usually meant that disaster wasn't far behind. Without a second thought, he took off down the hallway after her.

He wasn't going to lose her again.

xXx

Rinoa was humming to herself as she opened the door to her room. She couldn't remember ever feeling this happy. Ellone hadn't been kidding when she'd said "very soon".

"Think you're so clever, don't you, Rinoa?" a hideously familiar voice sneered from the shadows.

Her blood froze in her veins at the sound. She reached for the door, desperate to get outside, where there would be witnesses, where she could scream and be heard.

But there was a sickening crack and a blinding pain and her world exploded into thousands of tiny stars.

This is the end, was the last coherent thought she had.