Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. Tolkien owns it all. I only lay claim to the characters not found in any of his works.
A/N: In the last chapter, Legolas and Arnen became friends after a little arguing. This lasted all of an hour and then Arnen went back to hating him. Oh well…
Apologies
January 8, 3019 T.A.
Frodo could feel the gold circle trying to touch the rocks of those hills. It was trying to break away again, as if just hitting the ground would send a message to its master of their whereabouts.
"Must not let it hit the ground, Frodo," he continued to murmur over and over.
Arnen cast a worried glance at the young hobbit before her. She had come to love the little one dearly during her watches of the Shire. He was sagacious and well-learned thanks to Bilbo and Gandalf. Just as she, he was an orphan of sorts and because of that she felt a connection with him.
Heat spread across the back of her neck. The ranger looked back and caught the Gondorian watching her intently. Arnen turned around quickly. He always made her heart ache with longing to be with the Company again. Funny that it did not do that with Aragorn or even Gandalf.
Boromir was like Halbarad in many ways: appearance, attitude, and prejudices. The captain was one who did not trust easily, but once it was gained he would be a true friend. Such was the case between him and the hobbits. At first Boromir did not like the 'halflings' – he still called them by the name, even though it was more of an endearment than it originally was – but now he cared for them as he would for his kinsmen, especially Merry and Pip.
Arnen focused her attention on the forest, the rocks, anything to get her mind off of the past. She noticed recently that her thoughts flew to Halbarad frequently, and the revelation made her infinitely uncomfortable. At the oddest moments she would remember his smile or the way he laughed after one of their skirmishes. Her body stood with the Fellowship as her mind rode with the Company.
'One day you will have to be in one place and not the other. One day you will have to choose,' spoke her heart.
'Why must I choose, this will only last until Lothlórien. Then, after I am finished there, I will return to my Company and go back to life as it was known.'
'First you longed for adventure,' her mind sighed. 'Then, when you got it, you longed to be home. When you were home again you wanted to stay but also felt you did not belong. Now that you are out again you are longing to be with the Company. Ai, Arnen, you will never be satisfied.'
'No, I will never be satisfied. Not even in death will my soul rest, I fear.'
"Arnen."
The prince wondered what it was that occupied her thoughts. What was it that caused her to lose the focus he admired in both her and Aragorn? While the rest of the Fellowship stopped, she continued to go on. He could sense the moment when her thoughts wandered and he knew the danger of an absent mind. Risking the furthering of her anger toward him, Legolas left his position beside Aragorn and went to her side.
The woman jumped to the physical world again when she saw Legolas at her left.
"Hm?"
She did not seem a bit disoriented by the sudden intrusion of her thoughts. This irked him. If anyone did the same to him it would have taken a minute or so before he could regain complete control of his mind. Shaking off his irritation, the elf pulled her hood up over ears red from cold and winked.
His considerate gesture caused Arnen to remember why she was upset with him. Sure, she was aware of the fact that she was a woman. Most certainly, she knew that women were usually less able than men when it came to battling. Above all, she knew that the way she was acting was childish – Gandalf, and even the elf himself, insisted on reminding her of the fact daily.
But, was not Lúthien a woman? Was not she the one that risked her life to retrieve one of the Silmarils from the clutches of Morgoth, the first and most powerful Dark Lord of Middle Earth? And what of Galadriel? Did she not also fight when she was forced, and was she not still alive to tell the tale? Do not many elf-maidens have the choice of training alongside the men? Were there not woman in her own race that fought to defend their homes, to defend their families?
If they were able to do it, then why could she not? Why was she pushed from men's minds when it came to considering the few maidens who rise up for battle? Certainly, she was not a name whispered across the land because her dealings were done in secret, which was the way of a ranger. But why was it that because she was a woman she was thought less of?
Legolas could feel the sudden change in her attitude. He could almost feel the daggers she was throwing at him in the dark. Biting his tongue, he went back to his original station.
'Being apart from my race seems to have clouded my judgment. Of course she does not need help; she is one of the Afterborn, the Mortals. Why would she want assistance from an elf?' sarcasm echoed in his head.
Legolas scowled. He continued in his dark mood until he heard Gandalf speak.
"…There is a wholesome air about Hollin. Much evil must befall a country before it wholly forgets the Elves, if once they dwelled there."
Hollin. It was a forgotten jewel, a land once called Eregion. Holly trees, beautiful and solemn; their green-grey trunks mimicked the stones sitting on rolling hills. Elves once dwelled there. They were smiths, the race that graced that land, the ones that created the Rings of Power; the ones that taught Sauron the art of crafting magical jewelry. The fellowship had stepped into the place where their eternal enemy first began to device his plans of the Ring.
"That is true. The Elves of this land were of a race strange to us of the sylvan folk, and the trees and the grass do not remember them. Only I hear the stones lament them: deep they delved us, fair they wrought us, high they builded us; but they are gone. They are gone. They sought the Havens long ago," Legolas sighed to the sky. Wisps of his breath carried on the wind and dissipated before reaching the pale sky. His eyes sparkled with an unadorned smile.
"For the Shire! Hold him! Hold him, Merry!" yelled little Pippin, sandy locks bouncing about. His fists rained down on Boromir's chest while the man laughed and wrestled with him and Merry. Aragorn laughed as he watched the happy sight. Laughter was a thing he had abandoned once, but now he claimed it as a happy companion. Turning away he saw Legolas speaking with his younger sister. No, it looked more like arguing.
"What must I do?" Arnen heard Legolas ask from behind her head.
"I have not a clue what you are talking about," she said, turning on him with flashing eyes. She was ready for a fight. In fact, she wanted to fight the elf. He had gotten on her bad side one too many times. If he were Halbarad and not the prince that he was she would have already given him a clean right hook in the jaw. 'Maybe that is all I need to do: fight him. It worked with that infuriating ranger so well. I let off steam and he got to have a laugh,' she mused.
"Of course you do not. I should not have to do anything to be in your good graces. Truly, I do not even know why I bother. You are obviously just cold-hearted," Legolas knew he should not have said it, but his elven patience was worn.
Arnen was taken aback by his words. This form of battle was new to her. No one had ever warred by using words with her before. Sure, there were barbs and usually she was not hurt when someone who did not know her well insulted her; for some reason Legolas's words struck a nerve…and that made her angrier.
"Fine, prince, now that you have let out your true opinion of me it's my turn," her voice was ice. "You strut around all high and mighty because you are an elf. Well guess what? No one cares. You are a royal pain in the ass and I have had it up to here with your criticism."
"Ha! I think I am high and mighty? Are not you the one who wears that cloak that you got when you were a sapling, which you still are, making sure everyone knows that you are part of the Grey Company? You think all people should be impressed with the fact that you have fought in battles even though you are a woman. Talk about a pain in the ass. Stop being so focused on yourself. Look around you. We are here for one reason: to destroy the Ring. Why are you here? To add something else on the list of things that you have done, though they pale in light of what your companions here have done?
"You do not even respect the authority Gandalf has over you. When he tells you to go do something you protest until you get your own way. And you are even worse with Aragorn! He may be your brother but you do not listen to him as a sister should. If you will not listen to him as a brother, obey him as your king; even though he has not claimed the crown, one day he will. Or do you give loyalty to no one but those who serve your purpose?"
Arnen shook in rage. How dare he? The elf knew nothing of her life. He knew nothing of her character or who she was. The woman stepped forward and hissed into his face.
"Wake up and understand this, elf, you are not in Mirkwood anymore. You are out in the real world with real people. You are not all-seeing and you most certainly are not all-knowing, so how would you know what I have done? You do not know a thing when it comes to me.
"This cloak was made by a true friend who cared about me. Eru forbid if I choose to wear it in his memory. And regarding my gender, are you not being a bit hypocritical or am I paranoid in believing that you think the fairer sex should not fight even if they have the ability to do so?
"My relationship with Gandalf and how I choose to carry out orders is none of your concern. And Aragorn and I have come to an agreement: If I know I must, I will. If he is being over-protective then I will not. Above all, he is my brother but not my king, and it will always be that way.
"So, stay the hell out of my life and I will stay out of yours, Taraer (Haughty One)."
"Buiach? (Do you promise?) Ai, the absence of you would grieve me so," sarcasm poured from his lips.
"Careful, son of Thranduil, you have no clue who you are dealing with," Arnen said as she felt the humming begin to grow in her chest.
Giving her a mock bow the elf finally stormed away.
When he was finally gone Arnen's knees buckled under the strain of wills within her. She wanted to unleash all the anger she had inside on the head of Legolas. She knew the emotions inside of her were dangerous. She knew that holding it against her brother's best friend was horrible. She knew harboring this feeling against anyone, good or evil, was enough to destroy someone.
"Arnen?" A gravelly voice asked her sternly.
The woman looked up at her teacher's wizened face and slowly stood. His rough hands pulled on her chin to make her eyes meet his. Upon seeing the burning eyes he quickly pulled out a vial of Helwa. She had not taken it daily as she once had, and, in his opinion, did not need it anymore. But now it was an emergency. Gandalf was surprised when she not only grabbed it from him but also drank down the whole vial without gagging.
'So, she does not like feeling resentment against the young prince. This, at least, is a good sign.'
When she finished he commanded silently, "Apologize."
"No."
"Apologize, Arnen."
"No."
"You do not have a choice in this."
Arnen stared at the wizard stubbornly.
"Arnen, you will apologize! Not only for what you said today but for everything you have ever said before! Legolas has been lenient and ever so patient with you. He put up with more than I would have. He may be wrong in some of his assumptions of your character but that is only because you have shown yourself to be exactly as he described. Now, you will go over to him and ask for his pardon, or so help me I will beat you black and blue for being such an ass."
Arnen's eyes got big when he was finished. It was just a day full of firsts was it not? An elf insulted her and Gandalf called her an ass. She walked past him reluctantly and went toward Legolas. But her progress stopped when he cried, "Crebain from Dunland!"
"Hide!" Aragorn commanded. The camp jumped into action. Packs were thrown beneath scraggily bushes while Sam put out the fire. Arnen felt herself dragged beneath a bush just in time. The crows circled overhead twice. They were like midnight and just a little smaller than a hobbit…a very little. Their cawing echoed off of the boulders and Arnen cringed against Boromir – who was the one that pulled her beneath the bush – when she felt the foul wind their wings stirred up. The birds left as quickly as they came.
"The passage south is being watched," Gandalf growled. "We must take the Pass of Caradhras."
"Of course it would not work for us. Of course we would have to end up going into a cave that will swallow us whole and never let us out again."
"Aw, shut your mouth, Pip, and keep walking," snapped Merry. "You are not the only one that's still wet and tired. None of us wants to go in that dark place, especially not Gandalf. If he does not like it then I do not like it either."
"You have forgotten, young masters," Arnen whispered to them, "Gimli is overjoyed to be going there."
The cousins looked at the dwarf before them. He began walking with a skip in his step when Frodo decided they would go through Moria. He was now beside his elven friend telling him stories of childhood.
"That is right, master Elf, you heard me correctly. I have never had a liking for trees. They are used for fires, axe handles and the like. Their wood and leaves hold no beauty to my people. Give us a mine full of jewels and there you will find happy Dwarfs."
Arnen strode up beside Gimli. "Ah, Gimli, your mind will soon be changed about the beauty of trees."
"That is impossible, lass."
"That is the same response you gave me concerning you liking elves one day. Now look at you, if you can like this elf I believe anything is possible." She gave him a wink.
Gimli roared with laughter. "Aye, she is right about that, laddie. She is right about that."
Arnen looked up at Legolas and met his cold eyes. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair nervously.
"Naethen, (I'm sorry)"she whispered.
"I can take a hint. You do not have to speak in that Elf tongue. I will be out of your way," grunted Gimli as he walked further ahead.
Legolas was the one to close the space between them.
"I am sorry, Legolas. I have been terrible to you right from the beginning. I am really not all that bad, it is just that you seem to get under my skin easily…But that is no excuse for the way I acted and, so, I am sorry."
There was a long pause. Arnen thought he did not accept her apology and was about to start up the arguing again when he said, "I am sorry, too…human"
Smiling, Arnen saw that his eyes were warm and friendly when he looked at her.
"You are not so bad, elf. If you continue to be so gracious I just might start to like you."
Legolas laughed.