Chapter Six - Lost Without You
Brooke could see his lips moving but she just couldn't seem to focus on what was coming out of his mouth. She had to admit though, Felix wasn't a jerk like he use to be. He had changed. He was now sweet. He was now charming. But, he wasn't Lucas. And, that's the only thought that ran through her head. It was the only thought that ever ran through her head just lately. The thought of Lucas and her. Together.
"Are you ok?" Felix asked after seeing Brooke's distant expression
"What?" she was broke from her daydream "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine…"
"Come on, what's wrong?"
"Its nothing, its no big deal…" she shrugged it off but still Felix pushed for an answer "…Me and Lucas just had a stupid fight"
Felix nodded "Because you came on a date with me?" he knew the answer before Brooke even had to say
"Yeah…"
"He thinks I'm gonna hurt you, doesn't he?" Felix didn't know why he was asking, he knew how Brooke and Lucas' disagreement would have gone. He knew Lucas would have complained to Brooke how he wasn't good enough for her
"I guess he's just tryna protect me…"
"Or, control your life…" Felix corrected her with a little venom at the fact, even after ten years, Lucas was still standing in the way of him and Brooke
"Maybe, we shouldn't do this…" Brooke rose from her seat but Felix grasped her hand gently before she had time to walk away
"When did Lucas start making your decisions? When did he start telling you what you can and cant do?" he looked Brooke in the eyes as she searched for an answer "You know what's funny? I use to think he did all this coz he had the hots for you…" Felix chuckled slightly as Brooke's heart skipped a beat "But the guys getting married in a week and eventually he's gonna leave you behind, Brooke…" he continued not realising how Brooke's heart was breaking "Whats gonna be left for you then, huh? A bunch of relationships that have failed coz he was 'just protecting you'?"
Brooke breathed out deeply "Your right…" she agreed before sitting back down in her seat "Your totally right" she composed herself before the both of them fell silent. The sound of Brooke's cell ringing then broke them both from the slight awkwardness that they had been feeling. Brooke looked down at the caller I.D. It read 'Luke'.
"That him?" Felix questioned, slipping a fork full of food into his mouth
"Yeah…" she whispered, as Robin Thicke's, Lost Without You continued to ring loudly through her cell speaker. Ironically, she was lost without Lucas. She'd been lost without him since there dissagreement earlier that day. Since then they hadn't spoken to each other. They hadn't even bothered to aknowledge each other. Maybe now he was calling to apologise. Or maybe he was calling to tell her he was moving to LA. Either way she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear it. Not when she knew he was lying to her. Not when she knew he was planning on leaving her behind. So, she shut the ringing off. She shut the pain off.
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Brooke swirled the clear liquid around in the glass with her finger. After they're date, her and Felix had met the others at a bar for drinks. Brooke had thought that her and Lucas would have managed to sort things out by now. But, still they hadn't spoken to each other. They hadn't looked at each other. They hadn't even wanted to be around each other. It was breaking both of they're hearts to be like this. To see the others pain. But, they both had they're reasons. Reasons which revolved mostly around jealously.
Rachel sat down on the stool beside Brooke "Ok, you totally suck at this game playing stuff" she told Brooke before ordering herself a drink
"Its not a game, Rach"
"It is a game…and your failing miserably" the red head replied instantaneously "Your suppose to be over there making out with Felix under Lucas' nose, not over here throwing your own personal pity party" she huffed before taking a swig from the glass the bartender had just placed in front of her
"I'm done with trying to make Lucas jealous, ok?…" she took a deep breath before continuing "Its over, he's in love with Peyton"
"I guess you cant win 'em all" Rachel shrugged before downing her drink and ordering another "I didn't see what was so special about him anyway"
"Except the fact that he's the only guy that's ever understood me? the only one that's ever been there for me? the only one that I've ever loved?" Brooke scoffed, recalling many times she'd thought she couldn't go on and Lucas had pulled her back up "It doesn't matter now anyway, he's leaving for LA after the wedding"
Rachel looked a little shocked at Brooke's revelation before downing another drink "Well, maybe that's a good thing, maybe this way you can finally get over Lucas?" she began to show some sympathy for her friend
Brooke nodded along before coming to the realisation that maybe she didn't want to get over Lucas "I don't think I want too…" she whispered "Even if I could…I mean he's always been there, he's always been the only constant thing in my life"
"Then maybe your confusing the strong feelings of friendship for love…"
"I'm in love with him" she nodded. She'd never been more sure of anything in her life "I just couldn't admit it before"
"How do you know that?…how can you be so sure of something like that?" Rachel questioned
Brooke looked down into the now empty glass sat on the bar in front of her "My parents…weren't exactly parents when I was young…I'd spend my nights sat up in my room with my hands pressed against my ears, and my eyes closed so tight…" Brooke didn't look up from her glass as she spoke for the first time of her parents "But, no matter how much I tried to block it out, I couldn't…" her eyes didn't shift as she continued "My dad would come home drunk, whilst my mom would throw out whatever guy she'd been sleeping with that day and they'd just…scream. She'd throw things at him, he'd hit her"
"I'm sorry…that must have been so scary" Rachel, for the first time in a long while, empathised with Brooke
"It was worse when things would go quiet…the silence was when your mind would wonder…it was then I'd think the worse had happened…and that's when I'd see him" she smiled warmly to herself "That's when I'd see Lucas standing on my balcony, dressed in his Power Rangers pyjamas…" she chuckled slightly as she reminisced "He wouldn't say a word, he'd just sit on the floor beside me, lean his head against mine and tell me everything was gonna be ok…" Brooke turned to Rachel for the first time since she'd started talking about her parents "We were eleven years old, Rach, but Lucas understood exactly how I was feeling, ya know?"
"Why didn't you just leave?" Rachel asked, all of her attention now focused on Brooke
"I was too afraid…but one day I fought back" she confessed
"What happened?"
"My dad pushed me up against the wall, threatened to kill me…but I got away, ran to my room and hit Luke's speed dial…" she shortened the story down to bear essentials as to not upset herself anymore than she was doing already "He came round straight away, told my dad how it was, got punched for it and then packed my bag and demanded that I go live at his house…I've never looked back since"
"What happened to your parents?"
"Well, they didn't lose sleep over not having me at home anymore…" she joked a little "They moved away…sometimes they come back to see they're friends, and make sure the house is ok, but I never speak to them…"
"So, that's why you've lived at Karen's all this time?" Rachel thought out loud, as Brooke nodded in answer "You need to make him realise he's in love with you, and not that blonde, clearly insane, bitch over there…" Rachel insisted without a second thought as Brooke was a little taken back by her friends sudden change in attitude "Look, I know you don't wanna purposely try and make Lucas jealous, but it could be the only way he's gonna realise who he wants…you need to make him feel the way you do, Brooke…" she explained excitedly "Just trust me on this, ok? You need to make him jealous"
Brooke wasn't sure if Rachel was right. Or if she should trust her. But, she knew she'd do anything to have Lucas feel the same way as her.
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Lucas watched as Brooke grinded her hips up against Felix's body. He gritted his teeth as Felix whispered something, most likely to be crude, into his best friends ear. He felt a fire rage through his body as Felix's hands snaked around the brunette's waist. And, it felt as though his head was going to explode as Brooke's lips locked with Felix's. There tongue's most likely about to explore each others mouths. He couldn't take it any longer. He couldn't bear to watch anymore.
"I'm going to the bar!" Lucas didn't bother to wait for a reply from his friends who were gathered around him before walking over to where Haley was ordering drinks
"Hey…" she greeted him, as she took a sip from a glass of white wine
"Why did she have to bring Felix?" Lucas folded his arms over the bar and looked straight ahead at the wall of alcohol. The wall of alcohol that he could easily consume all of, with the mood he was in.
"She's just been on a date with him, what did you expect her to do?…ditch him and then come and have drinks with her friends?" Haley scoffed, before handing a couple of drinks to Lucas to carry to the table
"Well, maybe she should have a few drinks with us, instead of spending all her time grinding up against that jerk?" Lucas nodded in Felix's direction whilst following Haley through the crowds
"Or maybe you should spend more time with your future wife instead of worrying about Brooke?" Haley replied wittedly before reaching the table and handing Peyton, Nathan and Rachel there drinks as Lucas followed closely behind
Felix and Brooke then stumbled to the table, both of them in fits of giggles "You definitely havnt forgotten how to dance, Davis" Felix told Brooke loud enough for the whole group to hear "You want a drink, babe?" he asked her, his hand rested on the small of her back
"I think she's had enough" Lucas spoke with authority, like he was in charge of Brooke's actions, or that it was his duty to look after her
"Excuse me?" Brooke folded her arms across her tiny waist and waited for Lucas to elaborate
Lucas looked around at the others before moving his head in close to Brooke's "Look, I don't want him getting you wasted and taking advantage of you, ok?" he told his best friend quietly so that the others weren't able to hear his words. The pair hadn't spoken since this morning and even though Brooke loved the fact that he was trying to look out for her, she still couldn't forgive him for lying to her. She still couldn't forget his plans to leave her
"So, this is your way of protecting me?" Brooke snapped back a lot louder and fiercier than he'd spoken to her
"Yeah…" Lucas shrugged, his body facing hers and providing a barricade between Brooke and Felix
"Don't you think you should be protecting your fiance?" the aggravated brunette pointed towards Peyton who was beginning to look uncomfortable
"I'm always gonna protect you Brooke"
"Well, I don't need protecting, Lucas. I'm a big girl now…" she told him with a wicked smile "If I want to get wasted, I will…and if I want to date Felix, I'll do that too…come on" she barged past Lucas and grabbed Felix's hand. She then began making her way back to the dance floor
"I cant believe you'd pick him over our friendship!" Lucas yelled after her, whilst the others looked on
Brooke stopped dead in her tracks and turned back round to face Lucas "Well, it doesn't really matter anymore coz our friendship is over!" she yelled right back at him, not able to contain her anger, her fear, her jealousy any longer "Your taking our friendship and your moving to LA!!" she screamed, with tears escaping her eyes
Lucas felt his heart tear in two as his best friend broke down before his eyes. He didn't know how she'd found out, but seeing her hurt, he immediately regretted not telling her "Brooke, I was going to-"
"Tell me?!…" she finished his sentence for him "Was you planning on doing that before of after you told Nathan, Haley, your mom, Keith and just about everyone else in your life!" her tears became faster. The hurt became stronger. Lucas needed to make it stop. He needed to stop her hurting. To stop her crying. But, he didn't know how. For the first time since he met her, he didn't know how to handle her emotion. He slowly made his way towards her. He clasped her hand in his. He needed to feel her touch. He needed for her to know he was there for her. But, she instantly pulled away, rejecting him "I just cant believe that after all weve been through, this is how you wanna leave things between us…" Brooke shook her head in defeat as Lucas hung his in shame "I feel like I don't even know you anymore…and after this, I'm not even sure I wanna know you at all" she told him more calmly as exhaustion took over. And, then without letting her eyes lock with his, without taking another glance back, she fleed from the bar.
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Ok, so I hope that chapter was up to scratch because I wrote it pretty fast and I really hope it didnt dissapoint. I'm working on another fic as well right now, but it has a TOTALLY different premise to this or any other BL fic I've wrote before, or read before and I'm really excited for you guys to read it when I eventually get the first few chapters wrote. Anyways, thanks to EVERYONE that commented last chapter, please tell me what you think to this one.
Soph x