Chapter Seven - Broken Beauty
Lucas stood alone in the street as it poured down with rain. His eyes fixed on Brooke as she stood on the balcony of her childhood home, getting increasingly frustrated as she tried her best to open the door that lead into her old room. As kids, Lucas would always be climbing up onto Brooke's balcony during the night. He'd keep her company when she was lonely. Or be there to protect her when her parents were arguing. He knew better than anyone else how hard it was opening that door. He knew Brooke wouldn't want to talk to him right now. He knew she probably wouldn't even want to be around him right now. But, he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her alone when she was upset. He couldn't bear the thought of having her hate him.
Lucas proceeded to climb up the trellace on the side of the house. When he eventually swung his body over the top of the balcony, Brooke shrieked out in surprise "Oh, jesus!" she yelled before immediately composing herself "Lucas, I really don't wanna be around you right now" she told him before running a hand through her soaking wet hair
Lucas ignored her words "You think I didn't tell you about the move coz you don't mean as much to me as everyone else?!" he shouted over the heavy sound of the raindrops
"It sure as hell looks that way!" she didn't give him her full attention as she still grapled with the doors
"Well your wrong!" Lucas' words became more passionate, more intense with every second that passed "Its because you mean more to me!!" he grasped her body with both hands and turned her to face him "Its just too…damn hard, Brooke" he looked directly into her eyes, as many water droplets fell from his face
Brooke took a moment to calm herself down "Whats so hard about talking to me, Luke?" her shoulders dropped "When have you ever not been able to talk to me?" she slammed the palm of her hand against the wet cotton that covered his chest in want of an answer. In need of an answer.
"Your right, ok? I should have told you"
"Yeah, damn right you should have done…" she began to feel the anger build inside of her again, before ratling the doors fiercly in annoyance "What the hell is wrong with these doors?" she shrieked, before Lucas inched passed her and jolted the door to the right a little before giving it a quick kick at the bottom and opening it up. He'd never forgotten the nack of how to open the door. He'd never been able to forget it with the amount of times he'd sneaked round to her house in the early hours of the morning. Brooke looked at him for a second before shaking her head and walking into her old room. Had her parents been in, she could have just used the front door. Actually, had her parents been in, she probably wouldn't have even bothered to go to the house at all.
Lucas followed her in and shut the door behind him "Please don't be mad with me, Brooke" he begged as she grabbed herself a towel from the cupboard
"What do you expect me to be?…happy?" she answered sarcastically, before prising off her top which had become tighter to her chest in the rain "Your leaving!" she continued to shriek as Lucas stood fixed in one place, almost lost in the darkness of Brooke's old room "Your leaving me behind, Luke. And, you weren't even truthful with me, instead I had to hear it from your fiance" she didn't let him get a word in as she wrapped the fluffy towel around her bare shoulders in search of some warmth and comfort. The same kind of warmth and comfort Lucas would always provide her with "I could never, ever leave you behind…" she dug the tip of her finger into his chest forcefully as she tried to make him see her pain. Feel her pain "How can you leave me, Luke?…you cant" tears now began escaping her eyes, before Lucas widened his arms and tried to envelope her in a hug but she pushed him away "You cant leave me, Lucas" he attempted to comfort her once again, and this time she didn't bother fighting it "You cant" She was too tired to fight him off. She was too tired to be alone. She needed him. She needed him now more than ever
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lucas surveyed the broken beauty sat beside him. Her eyes still watery from the tears she'd cried, and her face still showing a tinge of dissapoinment at how he could ever dream of leaving her. She'd calmed down now. But, somehow the silence made Lucas feel more guilty. Now she wasn't angry. She wasn't screaming at him, or demanding answers as tears rolled down her soft skin as what had been the case just an hour ago. Now she was just hurt.
A million times Lucas and Brooke had sat on the floor at the end of Brooke's old bed as her parents would scream at each other downstairs. A million times Lucas had sat with his arms wrapped around her so tight just to make her feel safe. A million times he'd rescued her from everything, from all of it. But, this had to be the hardest time of all because he didn't know if he had the right to keep her safe. Now it was him that had caused her pain. So, he just watched her as she sat beside him, her knees wrapped up in her chest and her hands running back and fourth through her damp brunette hair. He didn't know how to make things better but he'd never stop trying. Not when it came to Brooke.
"I'm sorry" he whispered through the darkness that surrounded the two best friends "I'm sorry that it all came out this way, Brooke" he waited on her answer but didn't get one "It was just, Peyton assumed I'd be moving out to LA…she cant get work in New York, and I can where she lives…" he continued to explain as Brooke's eyes didn't shift from the empty space in front of her "I guess she just figured it'd be the easiest solution"
A huge silence passed as Brooke eventually turned to face Lucas "And, is it?" she asked "The easiest solution?" her hazel eyes were waiting
"There's nothing easy about leaving you" he held her gaze for what seemed like a lifetime, before resting his head in the palm of his hand and rubbing his brow in frustration "I mean, how can I possibly do that?"
There was an immense struggle inside Brooke as she searched for the strength to ask her next question "Are you in love with Peyton?" her voice dropped and Lucas' nod of yes was enough to break her heart once more "Then you can do anything she asks of you" she told him, certain that she herself would do anything Lucas asked of her because of the simple fact she's in love with him
"But, what am I gonna have left if I leave?" he wasn't sure if he wanted Brooke to answer his questions or not, but knew she was going to as her eyes didn't leave his
"You'll have a wife, and a marriage, and a whole new family" she felt that familiar lump form in her throat at the mention of Lucas' life without her in it
Lucas hesitantly cupped his hand over Brooke's knee, and dipped his head so that it was in line with hers "But, I still don't get to have you"
She rested her hand on top of his "I didn't think you'd want me after the things I said to you tonight"
Lucas shook his head "You had every right to say what you said. I should have been honest with you, I just thought if I could put off telling you, then I could put off moving…" he explained, his eyes leaving hers for just a second "And, when I saw you with Felix, I just…flipped out. I don't know what it was, I don't know…it was like…like I was-"
"-Jealous?" Brooke cut in
"Crazy jealous" he answered immediately, her eyes drawing him in
Brooke took a deep breath before turning her attention back to the empty space in front of her "I was too…when I found out you were marrying Peyton" she confessed, and prayed that the next words to come out of Lucas' mouth would be his confession of his true feelings for her
"I guess its just hard seeing someone you've become so close with, get close to someone else…it makes you do stupid things" he told her the only explination he could. The only explination in his mind for they're jealousy
The anticipation in Brooke's eyes died, as she realised that he didn't feel the same way. If he would have felt the same way, he would have surely have told her right there and then "Yeah…" she whispered under her breath, as her eyes began to burn with tears
He breathed out heavily before wrapping his arm around Brooke and pulling her in close to his body "Things were so much simplier when it was just you and me" he told her as she rested her head against his
"…But, its not…and it never will be again"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I cant move to LA"
"What?" Peyton answered. Somewhere deep down inside her she knew that Brooke would convince Lucas not to move. She knew that Lucas was hurt at the fact he'd caused Brooke pain. But, not as hurt as she was after her husband to be hadnt even bothered to call her all last night because he was too busy sorting things with Brooke
"I'm sorry, I just cant do it…" he didn't look her in the eyes. Not once "Brooke needs me"
"And, what about what you need?" Peyton began to get agitated at the fact that, yet again, he'd put his best friend before her
Lucas fell silent before saying "I need her too"
The curly blonde exhaled hugely, before pacing Lucas' old bedroom "I cant be the second woman in your life, Lucas"
"Your not…" he tried to convince her "Your not" he tried to convince himself
"Then why wont you move out to LA?…the only thing that's stopping you is her…so if I'm more important, why cant you just do that for me?" she pleaded
"Because she's been the biggest part of my life since I was ten years old…" he smiled warmly to himself "For fifteen years we've been inseparable…we've spent every single day together…" he tried to make her understand how hard it was to leave that behind "How can you ask me to forget about that?"
"I'm not asking you to forget that…" she shook her head and still persisted to pace the room "I just don't understand what the big deal is…you'll see her at birthdays, and Christmas's and she'll visit you, and you'll visit h-"
"-Its not enough" Lucas cut in
"Then maybe I'm not enough" she looked down at the ground as she voiced the words that had been on her mind since arriving in Tree Hill
"Your more than enough…Peyton" he began stroking the side of her cheek as he looked into her eyes "Its just me and Brooke have been through so much together…stuff that you cant even begin to understand, and I know sometimes you feel left out…I know because that's how me and her have dealt with things, together we've shut the world out…" he took her hands in his "I'm just not use to having anyone else but her in my life…but that doesn't mean that I don't want anyone else in my life" he explained "I wish I could do what you ask of me Peyton, but I cant…" he shook his head "I cant move to LA, I cant leave Brooke, and I hate myself for ever thinking that I could"
Peyton shut her eyes and dropped her head "I guess we can make this work…" she replied reluctantly
"Really?"
"Yeah, I'll get a job in New York…I'll have to start at a whole new company, but I guess there's no other solution"
"Thankyou" he took her head in his hands and kissed her
"Ok…" she checked her watch "I gotta go get my dad from the airport and get him to a hotel…" she began collecting her stuff together "You wanna come?"
"Yeah…" Lucas answered with a little awkwardness "I just gotta go get my cell…" he told her
"Ok, I'll wait outside" she told him before exiting through the door that led outside
"Auntie Brookie, what are you doing?" Lucas heard Lilly's voice from outside his bedroom door. The bedroom door that had been closed during his conversation with Peyton
"Shhh…" he heard Brooke whisper back "I'm just cleaning the door…" her excuses didn't wash with little Lilly
"No your not, your being nosy again…" Lilly responded
Lucas chuckled to himself as he listened to the words exchanged between the two. He could just picture Brooke stood on her toes on the other side of the door, her ear pressed firmly against the wood, and her expression one of deep thought as she listened in on his business. In one swift movement he opened the door, and there she was; Brooke Davis, just as he'd pictured her
"Hey you…" she smiled sweetly at him, trying hard to hide her embrassment that she'd been caught eavesdropping "I was just-"
"-Cleaning the door?" Lucas receited her earlier excuse
"Yeah…" Brooke said under her breath "So, does this mean your staying in New York?" she asked, hope filling her hazel/green eyes
"Like I could ever leave you" he smiled before she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, and her arms around his neck
"Good, coz I'd never want you too" she told him, as Lilly cheered with happiness
"Ok, well, I gotta go with Peyton to get her dad from the airport…" he explained after Brooke had finally prised herself from his body "Let's spend the whole day together tomorrow, just you and me" he told Brooke, and suddenly it hit her. Tommorow is the last day before the wedding. Tommorow is her last chance to admit her feelings.
"Yeah, I'd like that" she answered with a whisper, desperately trying to figure out how she was going to tell him in her head
"I'll see you girls later…" he smirked before grabbing his cell from the table and planting a kiss on both Brooke and Lilly's foreheads. He then exited the house, leaving Brooke with only one thought; how she was ever going to tell Lucas she was in love with him just a day before his wedding?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The support for this fic has been AMAZING! I think its been better received than any of my other stuff, and I guess thats why the updates are more frequent coz I'm really enjoying writing this for you guys...Anyways, please keep the comments coming...I'm putting finishing touches on the next chapter, and I think its my fave so far, so look out for that in a few days.
Sophia x