Thanks so much to Jam-chan for the betareading, the valuable comments and the good advices. Grazie ancora, carissima:-)

Terra
The unspoken secrets

Natsuki looked in the mirror, barely recognising the woman she saw.

"Do you think this is really necessary?" she asked, eyeing suspiciously at the heels of the pair of stiletto, on which she was trying to find an almost impossible stability.

Akane nodded vigorously, with a smile that almost stretched from ear to ear. "Of course! Without heels it would lose its allure."

'It would be lost anyway if I stumbled down one of your narrow gangways…' Natsuki silently thought, not wanting to spoil the other girl's enthusiasm and affection.

"You like General Viola, don't you?" she asked, wanting to know more about the woman who had wanted her in Terra so badly.

"Sure. She's amazing. She has always been a step ahead of all the people her age, both in the Academy and on the war field. She's such a bright example of braveness and loyalty for all of us."

Natsuki smiled, observing the girl who was expertly combing her raven hair. "For sure, she does stand out among the other officers… "

Akane nodded. "It's not a mystery that the Colonels hate her. For she is the one who makes the ultimate decision for every issue, and it's not unusual for her to go against their will."

"And what about the President, was she always at her side?"

Instinctively Natsuki held her breath, as if she feared the reply. "Absolutely, they were closer than two sisters, and President Kruger always supported Shiz… the General."

Natsuki's eyebrows furrowed. "So I suppose the President was hated too."

"It was inevitable, and the price they had to pay for their friendship. The President's fiery fights with Colonel Armitage were legendary. I'm a good friend of her second in command, Major Yukino Chrysant, and she told me that once the Colonel even threw a chair against the President."

"Oh my… was she severely punished?" the Headmistress asked, genuinely impressed. 'This is so much like Haruka, though…'

"Sure. The President sent her to a class of etiquette. But, honestly speaking, that didn't help her much."

The mental image of Haruka learning how to contribute to a conversation without threatening to punch someone amused Natsuki to no end, making her laugh delightfully. An act that surprised the secretary.

'Perhaps I've been in a school full of young girls for too many years. Those girls were always ready to make jokes and do silly pranks on each other. Here, it's probably the first time that she's heard this merry sound. The Garderobe Base is rather like a funeral parlour, and these dark garbs all of them wear don't exactly help relieving the atmosphere.'

She cast a glance at the mirror.

The satin of the dress shimmered midnight blue, and the gown was long with an asymmetric wrap design that left an open slit at the front. Natsuki ran a hand along the sweetheart neckline, which emphasized her strong shoulders. The colour of the dress complemented her complexion, enhanced by a light make up in all the tones of blue.

"You are stunning" she heard Akane whisper.

The secretary of Shizuru was staring at her with wide eyes, suddenly pale. Noticing the doubt in Natsuki's eyes, she shook the head. "I'm sorry. But we have just lost her. And you look so similar. No, you are her. This is just… unbelievable."

"Don't worry. It's weird for me too. I still can't believe I'm really in another universe…" Natsuki swallowed, her heart missing a beat. 'And the Shizuru here is perfectly fine.'

Than she made a step back, straighten her shoulders. "It's time to go, I think. I don't want to be late."

'It's just like our first date…'

-----------------------

The walk was short this time, since the two apartments were only a few storeys apart. Akane was unusually silent during the walk, as the realization that her President had really risen from the dead had shocked her.

And it was only when they reached Shizuru's place that a smile broke on her face. "The very day the President die, Shizuru reunited all of us closest collaborators and exposed her plans. She said she had already informed the Colonels and that they had agreed… but…" Akane's smile faded. "But I've heard rumours…that they'd prefer it if you stayed dead."

Natsuki nodded. She had foreseen that things were not so simple like they seemed. "I know… that Nagi… I'm familiar with his counterpart on Earl, and I've learnt not to believe anything he says."

The secretary surprisingly clutched her wrist. "And not only him. His influences on Colonel Wang are strong, but Mashiro also had issues in the past with Shizuru and the President. So… do not trust anyone."

Natsuki held her hand. "Don't worry. I've only faith in myself."

'And in my Shizuru.'

"Good… I… we don't want to lose you again, President."

The devotion in Akane's eyes surprised Natsuki, who couldn't do anything but nod. 'This place is more and more like a snake's den. Better watch my back.'

Then she stared at the door, taking a deep breath. 'Shizuru, you'll have to explain me a whole lot of things on this place you call home.'

-----------------------

Akane was right. General Viola's apartment was small compared to hers, but on the other hand it appeared to be richly furnished, with a magnificent display of drawings hanging from the walls. 'So different from the President's.'

"Do you like them, Natsuki?"

The soft voice of Shizuru startled her. "You have a splendid taste in art, General…" Natsuki said, turning towards her, and letting a warm smile lighten her face.

Shizuru Viola had changed her uniform into a simple dress which was not half as elegant as the one Natsuki was wearing; nonetheless its dark gold fabric enhanced the General's fair skin and her chestnut hair.

Natsuki made a mental note to suggest to her Shizuru to dress more in that colour.

"This garb fits you, Natsuki, and I hope to have correctly guessed the right shade," the General was saying her.

She nodded, faintly blushing. "You have. I adore the whole palette of blue."

The smile on Shizuru's face grew larger. "I'm glad of it. But now come, you must be hungry."

Natsuki followed her into a second room, where on a table tasty-looking food had already been prepared.

Shizuru moved a chair inviting her to sit down. "This is a selection of our best dishes and wines. We are in a military base so I cannot guarantee the same quality as the fine restaurants of Windbloom, but I personally supervised their making."

"I'm sure that everything will be delicious and…," Natsuki shot Shizuru an affectionate look. "But please, don't be that formal with me. Aren't we friends?"

"We definitely are!" declared Shizuru, pouring her a glass of sparkling white wine. Then, she raised her own flute. "A toast to our friendship across the universes?"

Natsuki gladly agreed even if, in a corner of her mind, the thought of her Shizuru always lingered. 'I still have hopes to see her again. But for you it must be unbearable. Tomorrow will come even too soon. But if, for a few hours, I can relieve your pain, I'll do it happily.'

------------------------

The dinner turned out perfect, and General Shizuru Viola proved to be an intelligent and sophisticated woman, as much as Natsuki had expected.

She told her about Terra, how the war had not prevented their world to be wealthy and technologically advanced, and how the people were fairly satisfied with their leaders, even if their society was so different from the one on Earl.

Comfortably reclined on a sofa, a cup of tea on her hands, Natsuki shook her head. "Sorry if I say so, but this is incredible for me."

Shizuru shrugged. "It's a common error to think that a dictatorship has to starve the citizens. On the contrary, in our history they have always been the steadiest form of government."

"True, but there is usually always a group who pays the price of said stability." Natsuki took a sip of tea, eyeing Shizuru over the edge of the cup.

"Are you talking about those executions we show on base? But they are just traitors, they deserve to die. Because you know, the foundation of our Republic resides in the devotion that people pay us."

For the first time Natsuki caught a harsh edge in her words. Something she didn't expect. The allusion to loyalty, however, suggested her something else, completely different, to ask.

"Shizuru, and what about the fidelity of the Joint Chiefs of Staff? For what I saw during our meeting, they did not seem ready to collaborate with you or with each other."

The General paused a moment to refill her cup.

"They are nothing but a brunch of litigious children. But the chain of commands makes it impossible for me to question their presence in the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Army, Air Force, Navy and Intelligence, are four separate and independent bodies that individually choose their leaders."

"And you have no control over them?"

"No, and the same for them. The Commander-in-Chief is appointed directly by the President, and reports only to her. Though… it's not entirely true that I have no power over the Colonels."

"What do you mean?" Natsuki asked, leaning forward.

"Secrets, skeletons in the closet. Almost all of us have a shameful secret in our past that we want to remain secret, and the Colonels are not exempted."

"Tell me!"

Shizuru dropped her a glance through half opened lids, smiling deviously. "Romantic relationships between officers who work in the same military unit are heavily punished, even more if the two involved are high-ranking officers. Colonel Haruka is in love with her second in command, Yukino Chrysant."

Natsuki had to suppress a giggle. 'The brash Haruka and the quiet Yukino. I can't say I didn't expect this.'

"What a well balanced couple. But what about Mashiro? She seems a proper lady."

"Her military records are indeed exemplar, but stained with a bizarre incident. Two years ago a girl of her staff deserted for the East Coalition stealing the project of a new airship carrier, the Blue Sky Sapphire. I have the proof that Mashiro was involved, and probably an investigation could have been instigated to uncover everything. But immediately after that affair Mashiro was promoted to the highest rank and her secretary, Sergeant Miya Clochette, was arrested. A strange coincidence don't you think?"

"What was the name of the deserter?"

"Captain Arika Yumemiya."

Natsuki suppressed a shiver. "What happened to Miya?"

"She was court-martialled and found guilty of treason. Sentenced to death, Clochette was executed by firing squad."

"How do you know all of this?" the Headmistress asked, looking away and wondering which other terrible secrets were in store.

"The Director of the Intelligence is quite keen in revealing what could destroy his enemies. And there's virtually nothing he doesn't know about our lives."

"I don't believe Nagi has no secrets of his own."

"Oh, but he has, only it's not something I can use," Shizuru replied, hopelessly shaking the head.

At those words Natsuki stopped the cup at midair, looking transfixed at Shizuru.

The General stared back at her.

"He's the lover of Sergay Wang's wife, Nina," she murmured.

The Headmistress was glad not to have taken the sip, because she would have spat it. She was uncertain if the shock was due to the hideous affair, or the idea of Sergay being married to someone who, on Earl, he had raised as his daughter. "But… Sergay doesn't know?"

Shizuru's lips twisted into a grin. "Nagi is also his lover."

Natsuki started to uncontrollably giggle.

"Colonel Wang does not only know, but he was the one who introduced her to Nagi" ended Shizuru.

The chuckle turned into a stunned silence as a deep feeling of disgust gripped Natsuki's throat. "Why in the world did Sergay do that?" she finally asked.

"He has always been very fond of Nagi, since the latter was only a young ensign under his command. It was a mystery to none that Sergay was impressed by Nagi's determination and effectively boosted his career. But I would have never thought that Sergay was also physically attracted to him, or that in the name of this devotion he could share his wife with that white haired snake. I suspect that everything is only due to Nagi's eerie ability to influence people around him. However, in no way can I use this against him as technically they are not co-workers, so they can't be disciplined. And adultery here is not punished. Ironically, the only one who could be hurt by this story is Sergay himself."

"Why?"

"He has the reputation to be a very strict and prudish man, and an honorable soldier. If they knew he's implied in this sordid affair, and that he has practically thrown his wife in Nagi's arms, one of the most hated people on Terra, the consequences would be awful for his career."

Natsuki sobered up instantly. "Nagi is always the criminal bastard that I knew."

The General sighed "The world would be a better place if he used his impressive intelligence to aid mankind, instead of being an egotistical plotter."

"I agree…" The Headmistress paused, gazing at Shizuru. "And… what about you?" she asked.

At her request General Viola smiled mysteriously while grasping her cell phone. She stroked the object before handing it to Natsuki.

A text message was displayed on the screen. A long letter that professed the profound love of the writer for the recipient. But it wasn't signed.

Natsuki looked back at Shizuru, who tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, a gesture so reminiscent of her own Shizuru that a knot of despair closed her throat. Then, the General lowered her eyes, which had appeared confident and cheerful till that moment.

"This was our secret," she whispered. "And that electronic message was all that remained. Because to love the Pillar, the President, is a crime punished with death, even if the lover is another woman. I don't have pictures of us, because it would have been too dangerous, nor letters. Just words. And those, now, are lost in time."

The General continued. "You remind me so much of my Natsuki. Even the smallest gestures, the way you tilt your head or toss your hair behind your shoulder."

The pain in her words was so apparent that Natsuki's eyes were filled with tears.

Partially conscious of what she was doing she reached for Shizuru's hand. It was unbearably icy, and she closed it between hers, hoping to warm it up.

"Are you cold, Shizuru?" she asked.

Natsuki saw her swallowing hard, nodding.

A second later Natsuki closed the distance between them. She caressed the back of Shizuru, feeling her strong arms around her waist.

"For me it's the same, Shizuru," she whispered her. "Every time I look at you I see my friend." Natsuki touched her glossy hair. "You are like her, down to the most insignificant detail."

Shizuru held her closer, her lips touching her temple.

Then they descended along her jaws, while Shizuru's hands stroked her bare back.

Natsuki didn't protest when the other girl's lips touched hers, tentatively in the beginning, then more and more passionate. The Headmistress was feeling her senses spiralling fast out of control, and sensations for too long denied were taking the lead as she met Shizuru's own hunger. 'Even your taste is the same…'

The General smiled against her lips. "No," she whispered. "I'm not like Shizuru, I'm her. Can't you feel it?"

An alarm bell screamed foolishly in Natsuki's mind. 'Feel? My Shizuru… you are not her.'

She fought to regain control, then, with all the sweetness she could gather, Natsuki broke the contact. "I'm sorry, but I can't accept your love."

At her words nothing radiated from Shizuru's crimson eyes, only an unnatural calmness.

"Why?" then the General whispered. "You want me as much as I need you. I'm alone, as you are. Both of us have lost the most precious thing to us."

She slammed one of the cups, that disintegrated on the floor. "Our happiness was shattered just like that cup. But we can rebuild it together."

Natsuki had to resist the temptation to take Shizuru again in her arms. Because the words of the General made clear she was hurt, but her tone was still sweet and well-mannered, and it was breaking Natsuki's heart.

'But I've not lost her. And as long as there was even the slightest hope to see her again, I won't give up. And you are fooling yourself if you think that I'm, or I'll ever become, your Natsuki.'

"Besides…" Shizuru added. "Your talents are wasted on Earl."

At those words the Headmistress blinked. "What do you mean?"

Shizuru bended forward, a gleam of a different kind in her eyes. "You are a soldier too, just like me, but you are also a bright politician, with a cunning mind and the ability to always choose the best thing for your people."

Natsuki shook the head. "I see what you are offering to me. But I can't stay."

'Your words flatter me, General, but there's someone who is waiting for me, on the other side.'

"It won't be forever, Natsuki," Shizuru whispered. "I can understand you want to see your home again, and I can accept you are not ready to love me. But please, consider that I'm alone now. And even if I'm their leader, the armed forces are out of my direct command. Nonetheless now I'm the only one left to represent the unity of this country, and the Colonels need me, because they know that I'm the one the people will follow. You'll leave soon, and the day this war finishes, my death sentence will be signed."

Natsuki's eyebrows furrowed, slightly disoriented by the rapid change in Shizuru's behaviour. "From what I saw and heard here it's true that you are in a difficult position."

"More. I'm just an obstacle to them. And I'm almost certain that once I'm removed, they'll fight to death to obtain the absolute power. It will be a bloodbath, even worse than this endless war."

Natsuki braced herself. 'It's true.'
"But what can I do for you?"

"Stay. Till the end of the war. Everything is already planned, and the first strike will decapitate their command centres, making impossible for them to retaliate. Everything will be over in weeks, if not in days. When the situation is secured and the stability obtained you'll be free to go back home. Exactly in the same moment that you left."

Natsuki took a deep breath, twisting a lock of hair. "And then? You'll be alone again," she asked, but Shizuru smiled. And it was a grin of pure malice.

"I'll blame the Colonels for your disappearance, in the meantime revealing their dark pasts. Not even their people will dare to protect them."

Shizuru's plan was so devilish that Natsuki could only stare speechlessly at her. "Good… I think that I've got your point. For sure this is a brilliant plan" she weakly said.

The General's smile now was the sweetest the Headmistress had ever seen.

Serenely Shizuru brought the cup to her lips.

"Thank you, Natsuki. I appreciate your words. It has been hard for me to get this far and I won't let a gang of power-hungry vampires steal it from me."

Natsuki got up, realizing she was slightly trembling. Shizuru followed her. "It's better if you return to your room now. I'll call my assistant."

"Thank you. And… let me think about your proposal."

"Tomorrow after the speech we'll have plenty of time to talk about our plans."

The Headmistress nodded, feeling weaker minute after minute, while all the stress of the long day was crumbling on her. 'I can't leave you here alone. And I can't leave my Shizuru there alone. What… what will I do?'

-----------------------------

This time was Natsuki's turn to follow Akane silently to her room. On the door the Headmistress saluted her quickly, wanting only to stay alone. But, once in the room, she noticed that her laptop was opened, while she remembered clearly that she had switched it off before leaving. Natsuki approached cautiously. In the centre of the desktop there was a new folder with the weirdest name "Follow the white rabbit…"

'This wasn't here before…'

Her finger was already on the touchpad, ready to open it when she heard a singsong voice coming from behind her. "Curiosity killed the cat."

As quick as a cobra ready to strike, Natsuki turned to face the one who had spoken.

"Nagi" she hissed.