Chapter Ten - Dying Dreams Of What Could Have Been
"I just have to tell you…congratulations" she told him, holding back the tears as once again she missed her only chance of happiness
"Thanks" Lucas replied, before giving her a quick peck on the cheek
Counting every step he took, she watched him walk away, tears brimming the edges of her eyes and every voice in her head telling her she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life.
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"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to join Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, and Lucas Eugene Scott in holy matrimony"
The vicar's words tore into Brooke like a dagger ripping through her skin. The heartbreak had never been so unbearable. The pain had never hurt as much as this. Maybe it was because she knew now that it was all over. Maybe it was the regret of not telling Lucas her feelings.
Maybe it was the dying dream of what could have been.
Either way it was over now.
"The bride and groom have prepared they're own vows…Peyton if you would like to proceed"
Her teeth
were gritted inside of her mouth.
Her eyes were forced to focus on
nothing but the happy couple.
And, as a single tear made its way
down her cheek she felt Karen's grip on her hand tighten.
"Be strong kid" Karen told her in a whisper to which Brooke responded to with a slow nod of her head
"Lucas, in all my life I never thought I'd find my soul mate, my lover, my best friend…" Peyton began reading from the piece of paper in her hand. Tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks. Lucas taking her hands in his as he too beamed with happiness.
It was more than Brooke could take. More than she could handle.
"You've been there with me through everything…"
Peyton's every word resounded in Brooke's head.
"…You've been there to wipe away my tears…"
"They've gone" Brooke told Lucas bluntly
as soon as he'd walked through the front door from
school "They
just left…not even a goodbye, not even a note, or a call or a quick
visit" she informed him, her arms hung by her sides "I had to
hear it from the neighbour"
"Brooke-" he knew she was going to cry. He could sense it. He hated it when she was upset.
"What did I do that was so wrong, Luke? What did I do that made my parents want to abandon me? That made them just sit back whilst I drifted out of there lives?" tears began flowing down her cheeks as Lucas didn't have to think twice about wrapping his arms around her
"You did nothing wrong, Brooke. Don't you ever think this is your fault. You dealt with they're crap for long enough. For too long. You have us now. And, were not going anywhere"
"I just wish they could love me the way parents are suppose to love they're kids" Brooke parted from his body to look him in the eyes
Lucas wiped away her tears before clasping her head with his hands "I love you enough for the both of them, Brooke. And, I always will"
"You've been there to make me smile"
There was silence in the church as the vicar baptised little James. As godparents, Brooke and Lucas were standing tall and proud at the front of the church next to James' equally proud parents Nathan and Haley, whilst Whitey and Karen stood beside them and acted as witnesses for the ceremony
Brooke leaned in close to Lucas, and whispered "Is it just me, or is the light bouncing of Whitey's bald head and inhibiting your ability to see what's going on, too?" she asked with all seriousness as Lucas bust out laughing, causing everyone to look at him with disapproving eyes
"Sorry" he apologised, before gesturing for them to continue with the ceremony, which they did
"It's a special moment, I don't wanna miss it" she told him in a whisper voice, as this time Lucas tried desperately to contain his urge to laugh out loud "Remind me next time to bring something to buff the bald with"
He let out a small chuckle, and just like before everyone in the church turned to him for answers "Once again, I'm sorry" he apologised, before insisting they continued. He then turned to Brooke, the biggest grin plastered across his face and rolled his eyes at how she could always make him smile. No matter what the situation.
"And, even though we may have bickered at times…"
"I wanna watch America's Top Model!" Brooke yelled across the living area at Lucas, who was relaxed out on the sofa
"Tough crap…were watching the game highlights"
Brooke switched the TV over using the buttons on the set. But, before she had chance to sit down, Lucas switched it back using the remote, and Brooke retorted by switching it back "Quit it" she whined as he switched it back once more
"Will you both give it a rest" Karen ordered, as she folded her washing
"Well, Brooke keeps changing the channel"
"Oh, that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me" Brooke stood in front of the TV, her arms folded across her tiny waist
Karen shook her head at the two's behaviour before leaving the room, washing in hand. She figured she'd get more peace in a part of the house Lucas and Brooke weren't
Brooke dived across the room, but before she could reach Lucas, he jumped up off the sofa and stood in the centre of the room, his arm raised in the air, high enough so that Brooke couldn't reach. He sniggered as his best friend attempted to jump in the air to grab it
Brooke stood up on the sofa and jumped onto his back, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling on his hair with her hands "Brooke!" Lucas yelled out as Brooke blocked his vision with her palm, and continued to try and retrieve the remote
Keith then walked into the living area, completely ignoring the behaviour of the two teens. He was use to it by now. He grabbed the remote from Lucas' hand and switched the TV over to the golf channel before relaxing down into the sofa.
"…You've always been there to protect me"
"Lucas, what are you doing here?" Mr. Chavez, Lucas' literacy teacher asked with some confusion at why the teen was in his office after school hours
"I want you to stop seeing Brooke"
"Brooke?" Mr. Chavez repeated "Brooke Davis?" he frowned, like he wasn't aware of what Lucas was talking about
"Don't try and deny it. I know you two have been sleeping together. She told me" Lucas sat on the desk in front of his teacher "And, then, to my surprise I saw you at the mall with another woman" the angry blonde crossed his arms across his chest "Who's she? Another student? Maybe a wife, or a girlfriend?"
"Look, Lucas I can explain, okay?" Nick tried to rationalise
"No, you cant. Your gonna break things off with Brooke. Just don't tell her that your playing away, she cant handle anymore hurt like that in her life. Tell her that she's the most incredible woman you've ever met, and that she's way too good for you" Lucas paced the room as he spoke
"Luc-"
Lucas cut in "Its not a lie, is it?" he raised his voice with gritted teeth "She is too good for you. You know that just as well as I do"
"I'm not gonna do something just because you've asked me too"
Lucas slammed Nick up against the wall, his hands gripping Nick's collar and his expression one of pure anger
"Well done, Mr. Scott, you've just got yourself an exclusion" Mr. Chavez stayed cool as Lucas' blood began to boil
Lucas chuckled wickedly "So, exclude me. I'm not quite sure the head would be too keen to hear of your liaisons with your eighteen year old pupils though" Lucas loosened his grip "You'll do as I say, or face the consequences" Lucas ordered before leaving the classroom
"Is that a threat?" Nick shouted after him
"No, it's a promise!"
"…To care for me"
"Hey buddy" Brooke gave Lucas a quick kiss on the head before sitting at his bedside "I just had to pop out to speak to the doctor…he said your doing a lot better?" she asked, knowing she wouldn't get an answer. Lucas had been in a coma for five days now, after he'd been involved in a car accident with Keith "You gotta wake up, Luke" she wiped a tear away from her cheek before clasping his hand in hers "You gotta wake up…coz your mom's got me doing all your chores" she chuckled a little "Plus, I kinda miss having you around, you know?" she admitted reluctantly "I don't know what to do with myself. I keep thinking about the last time I saw your smile, the last time I made you laugh…I don't want it to be the last time, Luke, so you gotta wake up honey…please"
Haley then entered "Hey…" she greeted Brooke with a whisper before sitting in the chair opposite Brooke "Brooke, you should really go home and get some rest, you've been here for five days straight"
"I cant leave him, Hales…I need to take care of him" Brooke kept her focus on Lucas as she spoke
"I'll stay with him, while you go home and do whatever you gotta do"
"I cant, Hales. I need to be here when he wakes up" she ran her fingertips through his blonde hair
There was a pause before Haley decided to speak "It could be a while before he comes round"
"He'll wake up soon" Brooke answered knowingly "He knows how much I need him. He's never let me down when I've needed him most"
"Through the bad times…"
"I cant lose her, Brooke" an exhausted Lucas told Brooke as they sat on the bench outside the hospital "I just, I don't know what I'll do if-"
"Hey, hey, your mom's not going anywhere, okay?…her and the baby are both gonna be fine, Luke" Brooke placed her hand in Lucas' offering him some reassurance
"How can you be sure of that?"
"Your mom is the strongest person I know" she looked him dead in the eye "She's had to be to put up with us for this long…" she joked a little, to which Lucas responded to with a smile "She can survive anything, and I just know that she's laid in there right now knowing she has to come back to us… she's coming back for you, Luke, she's gonna come back for her son"
Lucas breathed out heavily, hanging his beliefs on Brooke's words "I'm so glad you're here" he wrapped his arms around Brooke
"Where else would I be"
There was no other place Brooke would rather be. No other place except here with the people she loved most in the world. The people that had come to be like a family to her.
"…And, the good"
Lucas draped his arms around Brooke's neck from behind, as she stood, surrounded by her high school friends around the fire that had been set up as part of the celebrations for graduation "Where you been?" Brooke asked, as she placed her hands over Lucas'
"I've been tryna get away from Kelly Henderson…she's been hitting on me for the past half hour"
"Kelly Henderson?" Brooke repeated with a frown "Honey, are you sure your not imagining things again?"
"What? You think I cant get someone like Kelly Henderson?" he questioned in a light-hearted manner
"Lucas, she's like the hottest girl in school, except for me of course, but you already knew that-" Brooke began to ramble "And, your, kinda, I don't know…scrawny" she winced, Lucas' arms still draped over her shoulders, as he stood in close behind her, both of them feeling the cold breeze
"Well, I'm glad I made the decision to watch the fireworks with you instead of her" Lucas retorted with sarcasm. Sarcasm he didn't really mean. He would rather end his school days with Brooke. He'd rather end them with Brooke, than anyone else, never mind some random girl
"Awww,
Lukey wanted to end his school days with me?" Brooke tugged on his
arms playfully, as she pulled him in closer to her body
"I
started them with you, and just thought it was only right to end it
with you too" he told her, as Nathan let off the fireworks at the
end of the yard "I Love you, buddy" he kissed her on the
cheek
"Love you too, Luke"
He couldn't seem to shift his thoughts from Brooke. Throughout Peyton's vows, all he'd been able to think of was his best friend. He didn't know why. He didn't know why his mind wasn't in this wedding. Why his heart wasn't in marrying Peyton. He just knew that there was something wrong. Something he wasn't realising. Something he was holding back. Its like every word of Peyton's speech meant something. The only problem was…
…It meant something to
him and Brooke…
…Not something to him and Peyton…
It was like she was describing his friendship with the brunette sitting behind him. But, the words meant nothing to his relationship with the blonde standing in front of him. He'd laughed, cried, bickered, protected and cared for Brooke. He'd been through good and bad times with her. And, somehow, in someway, he felt like him marrying Peyton was the wrong decision. Like there was something more for him out there. Like there was a feeling inside of him that he just couldn't seem to shut off
"…We've always loved each other"
And, there it was. Some kind of realisation. Some kind of clarity. But, so much confusion all at the same time.
Little did Peyton know that the words 'We've always loved each other'. The words that had ended her heartfelt vows. Where also the words that had ended her relationship with Lucas. In that instant he had stopped loving her. Deep down inside he wondered if he ever had.
What he thought was the feeling of love was nothing
compared to the feelings he'd just realised.
Nothing compared to
the feelings he had for Brooke.
"I cant do this"
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Sorry for the long wait with this chapter guys. With the forums being down I havnt had chance to post this til now. Anyways, I hoped ya enjoyed that, theres only a couple of chapters left with this fic but I've got two chapters of another BL fic all ready and waiting lol. Also, seen as though there's been a big request for a sequel to this fic, I may work on that too.
Anyways, please tell me what ya think.
Soph x
