Disclaimer: The characters within this spin-off from my Labyrinth story are mine, but the world they are stationed in doesn't. I earn no money, but I do so enjoy the reviews!

This chapter in her diary is her thoughts on all that's been going on with her sister up to chapter 25 of New Crystals, Old Dreams when she finally brings her diary back out. If you haven't read that story, this won't make much sense to you, so I suggest checking that out first…it's a great read!

The Diary of Jeaule Olincamp

Am I wicked for what I've done to my sister? For the insanity that I am slowly, but surely guiding her into with steady hand? I like to think that I'm not, but how can one judge themselves with personal bias? Does it matter if a person THINKS themselves innocent? I'm not entirely sure it matters what a person truly believes of their actions, because, in the end, they will most likely assume that they were right for having done so.

A person will always find a way to justify what they have done, be it causing the insanity of a once beloved sister, or murdering thousands. It's all relative when it gets down to personal bias. So why do I feel gutted at times? Why do I commend myself on what I'm doing only when I don't have to see my sister lost in her insanity?

I found the answer when I found this journal today. It is quite apparent to me now that I have ignored these pages for far too long and have a conflicted mind to thank for it. It is true that I have confidants that I never could have dreamt of before, but that is no reason to have abandoned this outlet for my soul. These pages and the ink with which I lay my soul to eternity have always brought me back to rights in the past. I hope that they can do that for me again today.

She sits in my room even now, oblivious to my presence. I no longer have to fear her stealing what I have written within these pages for she has stolen within herself to a point she wouldn't care. Erina sits at my window, staring down at the gardens we spent the morning strolling through with Jareth.

How he acts besotted with her is beyond me.

He was charming, but I could see, though Erina could not, the revulsion of all he has to do just under the surface of that charm. It is commendable how he has been able to keep with this part of his and I have to admit now that this all has to be horrible for him as well, though in a much different way.

How had I not thought of that before?

Easy I assume, I was so caught up in the ME of it all. Oh woe is me, my sister is a psycho who wants to ruin what Jareth and Sarah have, oh woe is me she is going crazy now that we have done something to stop her. Is this truly hardest on me?

I can't imagine so.

What about Sarah? Oh gods, how could I not thought of how horrible this must be for her? Oh I have thought about how what Erina has done to her must be terrible, but I never took into account how she must be feeling about Jareth having to even PRETEND to be in love with Erina at times.

I know if it were Cyric having to do this I would be livid with jealousy, but Sarah holds strong. Now that I think of it, you can see it in her eyes when it's discussed, but never does she falter or tell them that it has to stop.

I wish I could be more like her. Stronger like her.

As I look over at my sister, the afternoon light confused over her tangled hair and pallid skin, I know that I am not as strong as Sarah. And yet, perhaps that is not a terrible thing. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, I believe I am learning mine.

I care for those I love, more than warranted at times, but I have a vicious loyalty to my friends and loved ones that will rip that caring in half if it is lost. I assume that could be called a very healthy motherly complex.

We shall see how I develop as more time wears on. For now…I need to tend to the insanity at my window.

(A/N: I am glad that Jeaule is finally coming around to finding exactly who she is! Makes me as happy as a mommy watching a baby learn to walk. LOL Reviewers who made me happy as well were: BattleofEvermore, BookwormBrea and notwritten.)