Disclaimer: I'll make it easy. Twilight not written by me. There we go.

A/N: Here's number three everyone. I know this may seem like a lie, but the reviews you amazing people leave me really do make me write faster. I just have issues with updating. Plus my final exams are coming up and there's nothing better than completely avoiding studying and writing the next chapter, right?

Everyone, This Is Renee

Slowly I reach for the phone and place it to my ear, "Mom?"

Renee's voice pours through the line, "Bella! Guess what? I'm in town till late tonight. Phil's team is just an hour away and I figured hey, my favorite daughter is living around here. So Charlie gave me the number for the Cullen's."

I glance up to see Edward and Alice staring intently at the phone.

I frown and turn away from them, "That's great Mom."

Her smile is practically radiating through the phone, "So as long as you're already there do you think I could meet them?"

My breath hitches; I shouldn't be caught off guard. She's never been one to beat around the bush; I knew that this would happen eventually. My mother meeting the Cullen's that is, but she wants to meet them right away?

I decide to play it safe and pretend I have no clue what she's talking about. "Meet who?"

Alice gracefully perches on the stair rail right in front of me with a smirk on her face. They really get a kick out of my facial expressions.

I glare at her as Renee snorts, "Who do you think I mean Bella? The Cullen's of course."

"Oh, right. Well um, here Mom, I'll see if that's ok with everyone and then I'll call you back, alright? Where are you?" I need to stall as long as I possibly can.

"I'm just at Charlie's honey, so call back once you know; I'll talk to you soon!"

She hangs up and I stand immobile for a moment or two before Alice takes the phone from me and turns it off.

Edward takes my hand and pulls me towards Carlisle's office, "Come on then."

I try to pull him back, "No, really I can just wait five minutes and call her back and say it won't work out."

Emmett virtually flies up the stairs at this, "Wait! You can't do that!"

That's funny since I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I'm going to do. "And that would be because?"

He looks at me like I'm missing an obvious piece of information, "Because we want to meet her."

Yes well, Emmett also wanted to become a trapeze artist, not all things Emmett want happen.

"You can't all want to meet her can you? I don't know if she'd be able to handle some of you." I try not to pointedly stare at Emmett on that last part.

Edward's face forms into a smug smile, "I have an idea. How about we take a vote, on the topic of meeting your mother."

I blanch, scandalized that he's stolen my idea and even more distraught as I realize they'll all most likely vote 'yes' on this. "Well, I don't know."

But it's too late for my opinion anymore and I glare at Edward, he's putting me in the position he was in when I called a majority vote. It's really not a nice position to be in.

Esme and Carlisle emerge from the office, Jasper races up the stairs and Rose leaves her wedding reception planning to participate.

Edward looks around, "So we are all voting on whether or not to meet with Bella's mother. I'll quicken this up a bit, all those who wish to meet with her, raise your hand."

Every single one of the Cullen's raises their hands and on Emmett's part, both of his hands.

I groan loudly, this is going to be a meeting to remember. "What about when we humans have to eat? It's almost dinner time." I'm grasping for anything at all.

I can just anticipate the types of things my mother is going to bring up. When she had just met Edward she was already talking about how worrying the bond of our relationship.

Renee isn't a shy person; I don't recall ever seeing her embarrassed of anything. When meeting the family of your daughter's love interest this could definitely bring about conversations one would want to avoid in general let alone get into with one's mother.

Jasper eyes me strangely, "Bella, I have no clue how to read what you're giving off right now. It makes no sense at all."

I make an irritated noise, "Well I do want you all to meet Renee. I'm just scared of what's going to happen when she starts talking."

Carlisle waves that aside, "Don't be ridiculous Bella. Alice, Edward and I met your mother in Phoenix. And concerning the food, we'll tell her we already ate but you weren't hungry at the time and just order pizza or something along those lines."

Does he not recall that I was unconscious when they met Renee?

Generally mothers don't gush out terribly embarrassing comments about their potentially dying children. But in this setting it's basically mandatory.

On a positive note, I suppose that is a good solution to the food dilemma. I've lost this battle I mine as well give in.

I grumble under my breath, "Oh never mind."

Esme is glowing, "Then go on and call her back! Get moving everyone we need to get everything ready. I'm so excited! We're meeting Bella's mother! Edward, I was so worried you would never find anyone and now look, we're going to meet Bella's mother!"

Alice hands me the phone again and winks, "Well get on with it. Esme might call herself if you don't move quickly enough."

I dial Charlie's number and wait for someone to pick up. Then I realize that in order for Renee to meet the Cullen's she has to come to their house.

Their house which just so happens to be out of the Forks limits and down an unidentifiable path off of nowhere. "Wait, how is she going to get here? There is no way she'd be able to follow directions. She has problems finding the stop lights one block away from our house, and you can barely see the turn off to your house."

A persistent voice starts up, "Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Hello?" I look around startled then realize it's the phone and put it to my ear hastily.

"Oh! Mom? Sorry, hold on a minute." I rest the phone against my shoulder and watch as Esme frantically rushes around and attempts to send everyone off to do something productive. "Anyone? We've got a problem here."

Edward rolls his eyes, "I'll come pick her up with you."

Esme freezes mid-stride, "I don't think so! You out of everyone have to prepare the most!"

Edward places a hand on her shoulder with concern, "Prepare what exactly?"

She groans in frustration, "Alice, help him! Someone else take Bella."

As everyone runs around in panic I try to interrupt, "I can just go get her by myself you know."

Edward whirls on me, "Are you insane? There is no way I'm letting you take one of our sports cars to pick up your mother. You couldn't even handle Emmett's Jeep and that's the slowest one we own. Plus it's too dangerous for you to be out alone."

Jasper comes over and pushes Edward towards Alice, "Relax. I'll go with Bella if that's alright with you."

Edward falls silent for a moment, quite clearly sifting through Jasper's mind. Whatever he saw must have been alright because he sighs, "Yes it's fine, go ahead."

I put the phone back to my ear, "Mom, are you still there?"

She abruptly cuts off a tune she had been humming, "Yep. So what's the scoop then?"

"They'd love to have you come over. So one of Edward's brothers and I are going to come and pick you up since you'd never be able to find the house. How much time do you need?"

Emmett starts grinning like a madman and whispers something to Rose. She lets out a loud laugh and then covers her mouth. I study them worriedly.

"Does fifteen minutes sound reasonable?" she asks.

I pull my eyes away from Emmett's maniacal beam, "That sounds fine, we'll see you then!" I hang up and once again scrutinize Emmett. "What are you planning? You look guilty."

He looks up at me harmlessly, "The only thing I'm guilty of is planning some good old fashioned, meeting the mother, entertainment."

"What?" I have no clue what he's talking about but it does not sound good.

"Just some parlor activities, you know charades, conversation starters", he trials off and then mutters, "Bringing up extremely humiliating topics relating to Bella."

I squeak on the last one. He shakes his head reassuringly, "Really though it's mostly charades. Does she enjoy them?"

Renee absolutely loves charades. When I was little instead of trying to encourage me to talk she tried to make me act out my motions. When I stopped rubbing my stomach every time I was hungry she was devastated. "Saying she enjoys them is an understatement."

Esme flits by nervously fluttering around, "Why are you all standing here doing nothing? Move, people, move!"

Jasper motions towards the exit, I maneuver around Esme and we start down the stairs. Once at the bottom Jasper leans back, "Edward, by the way, you might want to take off that bow tie you're wearing before she comes."

Even I can hear Edward growl.

I giggle and head to the garage door. Jasper follows, telling me when to move to avoid one of the Cullen's all of whom are running around shouting and rearranging like crazy. I've never seen them so disorderly before.

Jasper nudges me out into the garage, "Let's go before they really start losing it."

He climbs into Rose's car and I get in as well and buckle my seatbelt.

Oh, regular safety device, how I've missed you so.

I stare at Jasper stunned, "You mean they haven't already?"

He laughs, "Are you kidding? This is nothing compared to when Edward was bringing you over. It was complete bedlam."

I frown as I remember my first time at the Cullen's, "But everything was so calm when we came in."

Jasper shudders, "That's what it was meant to look like."

I clear my head of the terrifying thought that things could be even more hectic. That's when I remember my birthday gift idea. "Oh! Jasper, dearest big brother of mine."

He smiles, "Yes, Bella, darling younger sister of mine."

We both catch each others eyes to see who'll crack first. Uttering that phrase in such a formal setting never works. That and also the fact that Edward gets all touchy about the subject and makes odd facial expressions.

I'm holding up surprisingly well, that is until Jasper sings in a French accented voice, "Darling sister of mine."

I choke violently as I start laughing, an unfortunate result of trying to restrain myself.

Jasper helpfully thumps me on the back a couple of times. "Come on now, breathe! I know you can, I see you do it all the time. If I have to do mouth to mouth on you Edward will be very upset."

Instead of helping that makes me laugh even more. I put my hand over my mouth and force myself to swallow to regain my normal respiration rate. "I think I'm good now."

He parks the car and opens my door, "That's a relief. I was worried that your mother would think I had tried to suffocate you on the way here." I step out and start to walk up to Charlie's house.

Jasper pulls me into the trees, "I don't think so. We've got to wait at least ten minutes before we can go up there. Now what were you going to ask me before?"

I sigh exasperatedly and mutter under my breath, "If you didn't drive so fast we wouldn't have this problem." In a louder voice I tell him, "But what I was going to ask is if you wanted to come shopping with me to get Edward's present."

His eyes light up, "Really? When? I'm ready any time."

I grin, "Good, because I'm not telling you anything else right now. When the time comes you will know."

That was creepily prophetic.

I'm planning on calling one day when I'm working to have Jasper come and help me pick out something to send Phil. Then, when he comes we'll go to the mattress store, but he can't know anything until that point. If he does the surprise will be ruined.

I've also thought ahead to when Edward talks to Jasper after shopping with me.

I'm going to constantly bring up really awkward situations for me, but pleasant ones for him concerning Alice. Then whenever Edward asks about what we did he'll inadvertently think back to Alice. I'm a genius!

He looks at me with interest, "It's really good isn't it." He doesn't phrase it as a question.

I nod excitedly, "Probably the best birthday gift I've ever thought of in my entire life, when comparing it to yours it seems minuscule but try to sympathize."

Jasper rolls his eyes, "Even if I can't relate with your age I can with trying to get Edward a gift. Since he already knows what I'm getting him there's no point in you not knowing." He trails off looking to the house with his eyes widening and a chuckle escapes from his lips.

I strain my ears but only hear a bird chirping. Not surprisingly, I can't detect the conversation through the walls of the house that's over fifty feet away.

"What did she say?" I ask demandingly.

He looks at me trying to hold a straight face, "All I have to say is you were right to be scared, if she brings up something like that in front of Emmett your face might permanently become red."

Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less of Renee. I had just been hoping against all logic that she had miraculously become more appropriate since the last time I've seen her. I groan and bring my hand to my head, "Why me?"

Jasper lounges back against a tree, by far beating out any well known model in looks and expert casual stance. "It'll be fine. Don't you want to know what I got Edward?"

He looks far too excited for it to be something Edward actually would enjoy. No matter how much I love Edward I can't help but enjoy irritating him, it's quite amusing. "What did you get him?"

"I got him a lava lamp!"

I stare at him and then grin happily, "I love lava lamps! Why doesn't Edward?"

Jasper smirks, "Well to understand the whole story we have to go back to the sixties. Everyone had a lava lamp back then, everyone that is except Edward. We always tried to make him get one but he refused. So then years later Emmett made a comment that lava lamps were like aphrodisiacs in the form of brightly lit blobs of color that move like amoebas. Obviously to him Edward's prudish nature explained why he hated lava lamps."

I snort at Emmett's comment, only he can come up with those sorts of phrases. I've always meant to ask him if that was a vampire thing he picked up or if he was always that strange.

I still don't entirely get why Jasper finds this gift so hilarious, "So you got him one because he hates them?"

He looks at me amused, "You really need to think with your mind in the gutter more often or you're going to turn out like Edward. I got him a lava lamp because now he can actually use an aphrodisiac."

I blush and turn to look at the house, "Can we go get her yet? If I'm going to have to suffer from comments about the physical contact between Edward and me we should just go get Renee and have her join in as well."

Jasper ruffles my hair in affection, "I'd be far more worried of what's going to happen back at the house when that subject is brought up."

I wince, "You think I'm not? I was the one trying to prevent her from coming over."

He shrugs, "You'll survive. It's not like other kids don't have to go through the whole uncomfortable meet the parent's ordeal."

I stare at him incredulous, "And do you often recall many stories about girls taking their mothers, whom are more immature than them, to their vampire love interest's house to meet the rest of his vampire family?"

Jasper sighs, "No Bella, you'd be the first for that one; would you like a book deal for that?"

Shooting him a glare I impatiently grab his wrist to check the time, "Can we go yet? I want to get this over with as soon as possible." I've been preparing myself mentally for the onslaught of embarrassment I'll be facing.

Right not I'm at a point where I'm willing to take it, but if I wait too much longer I know I'm going to chicken out.

He gracefully rises to his feet and pulls me along with him, "Yes we can go now. Are you ready?"

A rush of panic leaps up in the pit of my stomach and I take a deep breath. Tranquility flows through me and I half-heartedly hit Jasper as we walk up to the door.

I wish I could tell him to stop messing with my emotions but I'm hoping he keeps me calm so I don't have an anxiety attack over this.

I lean forward and knock lightly on the door. It flies open and Renee is standing in front of me smiling brightly.

She looks the same as always and if I didn't know better I would say she hasn't aged a bit. "Mom!"

She pulls me into a hug; Charlie and I are the ones with the reluctance to show affection to one another. "Bella, I've missed you so much! It's nice to be able to visit you while you're not half dying or acting hysterical."

On that last note I see Jasper lower his head shamefully out of the corner of my eyes. He still feels as if the Cullen's leaving was his fault.

Apparently my telling him at least daily that it wasn't and that I don't blame him hasn't actually stuck in that head of his.

It's truly scary how close I feel to the Cullen's, as if I'm actually related to them. But as I watch Jasper dejectedly scuff his feet I feel so terrible for making him feel this way.

I turn Renee towards Jasper and grab his hand to tug him forward, clinging to his arm with a stupid smile on my face. He snickers lightly as I motion from him to my mother and back, "Mom, this is Edward's brother, Jasper. Jasper, this is my mother."

Jasper shoots her a pleasant smile, "It's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."

Renee eyes him approvingly, and smoothly responds, "Well I don't know about that but please do call me Renee."

If it wasn't for her awed expression you wouldn't be able to tell she was affected by how beautiful he is at all. "So are we going yet or what?"

I roll my eyes, "We parked on the street." With that we all turn and walk to the road. When Renee sees Rose's car her eyes become as wide as saucers. "That's the car?"

Jasper laughs at her reaction, "Wait till you see what else we've got in our garage. You can see the beast Bella drove."

Renee looks to me questioningly and I shake my head, "Just don't ask."

My mom and I slide into the back seat and as I get in I whisper for only Jasper to hear, "Remember to drive like a normal person. If you get anywhere near seventy Charlie will hear about it and I'll never be able to ride with you again."

He grimaces, "Yeah, yeah I know. I hope you realize how painful this is for me. You'd better act very excited about that lava lamp just to spite Edward as my compensation for this."

I giggle and turn to Renee, "So has being here made you nostalgic or relieved?"

She sighs over dramatically, "Very relieved. Not that I don't like seeing you. It's more of a whole new appreciation my life outside of Forks once I leave."

I nod; I used to feel that way too. Until I discovered how lovely gloom could be.

Renee turns her head to the front of the car, "So Jasper, are you done with high school then?"

Jasper, thankfully not taking his eyes off the road and turning around, a habit he does quite often with me; answers her. "Yes, Rosalie, Emmett and I all graduated from Forks last year."

Renee nods appreciatively and nudges me with her elbow, "So you're the only high schooler here."

I grin, "Woe is me."

Even though Jasper drives slowly by his standards he's still pushing it and we get to the Cullen's faster than we legally should have. I think that's as good as I'm going to get. Renee climbs out of the car and her jaw drops.

She's clutching onto the car door gaping at the house, "This is where they live?"

Jasper watches her face, amused and murmurs for only me to hear, "Her facial expressions are even more entertaining than yours."

I push the door shut and wave Renee forward, "Come on, the inside is even more beautiful."

As we're walking I can see Jasper trying to restrain from laughing. I shoot him a curious look and he mouths, "You'll see." I sigh and watch as Renee stares at everything we pass in awe.

She tugs me closer to her side, "I know Dr. Cullen is a doctor but I didn't realize they were this loaded. Boy, did I ever go into the wrong profession. The closest I've ever been to someone who owned this much money was when Donald Trump was on the same train as me. Of course he was in a deluxe car and I was jammed in storage with five other people but still."

I snort and hop up to the door and open it letting everyone inside. Jasper calls out, quite unnecessarily, "We're back!"

I look around as I frown, where are they? Jasper motions towards the living room and I stumble forward to peer in.

What I see nearly causes me to collapse; I bite down on my lip to prevent from laughing.

They're all sitting in casually relaxed stances; the only problem is I know it's forced.

Rose is flipping through her magazines again and while we're all used to the enormous stacks surrounding her she looks a little crazy. Alice is reading aloud to Emmett from a book that's thicker than her waist about tree species.

Edward is playing the piano effortlessly and looking quite bored then the best part. Esme and Carlisle, who just so happen to be playing a quick round of chess.

Jasper meets my eyes but then we both have to look away quickly before we start to laugh. Now I know what he means by how they're meant to look composed.

Renee surveys everyone with interest.

Esme raises her head as if startled by our arrival, "Oh! You're back! Dear, we'll have to finish this game later." Carlisle dissembles the chess board and turns to us with a welcomingly smile.

He steps forward and shakes hands with my mother, "I don't know if you remember me but I'm Edward's father, please call me Carlisle."

Renee shakes his hand, "I do remember. It's nice to see you again." Then to everyone else she smiles, "Hello, I'm Renee, please don't call me anything else or I will be offended."

Esme beams, "I'm so happy to finally meet you! I'm Edward's mother, Esme."

Renee shakes her hand as well, "Esme, I'm happy to meet you to. Bella's told me stories about how good you are to her."

Esme looks at me in surprise but squeezes my hand pleased that I've spoken about her to someone I care about so much.

Alice dances up, "We also met in Phoenix but I'm Alice and I have to say I'm much more contented to meet you now that Bella's not currently in critical condition."

Renee laughs, "Me too, it's great to see you again."

Emmett comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist placing me securely to sit upon his shoulder. Renee stares in surprise at how huge Emmett is.

Everyone is intimidated at first but once you get to know him Emmett's like a giant teddy bear. Unless of course you piss him off then he's not too friendly.

He winks at Renee, "Hello, you've raised a fine young woman here; by the way I'm Emmett."

Renee flits her eyes to mine obviously amused by Emmett's behavior, "Thank you and it's nice to meet you Emmett." He walks over to the couch and playfully drops me down.

I rest my chin on the cushion as I watch Rose leave her magazines to stand beside Renee, "Hello, I'm Rosalie."

My mother smiles and looks at her with interest, "Were you looking at wedding magazines?"

Rose shrugs, "A few, Emmett and I were married earlier this year, and I'm planning the reception."

Renee stares at her in shock, "You're married? But you're so young; don't you think that's jumping the gun?"

Emmett's laugh booms through the room, "We've both put a lot of thought into it and we can't live without each other." I roll my eyes, after over twenty weddings I'm pretty sure they know what they're doing.

Renee still blankly gawks; from the piano bench Edward meets my eyes. I know what he's thinking about. The proposal, yet again. I hope he doesn't ask Renee about it, that'd be one more mortifying conversation I would like to avoid.

Edward gets up, "As already mentioned you've met me before in Phoenix, I'm Edward."

Renee scrutinizes him and I can tell by the look in her eyes she's still stunned by how good-looking he is, not just Edward either. "Yes of course, it's good to see you Edward."

Jasper smirks at Edward and they exchange a glance. An awkward silence falls on the room as we all look at each other unsure of what to do next.

Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you look at it Emmett butts in. "So who here enjoys playing limbo?"

Renee just chuckles, "Maybe in a little bit, but Esme and Carlisle do you mind if I have a little chat with you two in the other room?"

The three of them get up and leave to the kitchen. Edward swivels to us, "We'll just leave them to that. Let's all go out and admire the scenery or something else far, far away from here."

Alice stands in front of the door, "Not a chance, we're listening to this."

It seems as if they all know what's happening, all of them except me. "Hello? I can't hear through walls, what are they talking about?"

Edward seems embarrassed but Emmett, being the kind soul he is answers for him, "Your mom is going to talk to them about your physical relationship with Edward here. She wants to make sure you're both properly informed. Oh, this is going to be good."

All the blood rushes to my face and I groan. "No! Let's not listen, you see Edward I told you this would be a bad idea!"

He shoots me an exasperated look, "Isn't it worse not knowing what she's saying?"

Where is he going with this? Of course it's worse but it's not like I can run up to the door and smash my ear up to the keyhole. "Your point?"

Edward takes my hand, "If we sneak outside the window you can hear."

As we start to leave, my dear almost-siblings all tag along. I scowl in confusion.

Alice floats alongside me, "What's the point of eavesdropping on this if we can't see your and Edward's reactions."

With a huff I slip out the door after Edward. He motions for me to crouch down and I do a strange crab like walk to scuttle underneath the window sill.

Moving with much more ease than I, everyone sits against the house. Thankfully Emmett isn't under the sill otherwise he would break it trying to huddle beneath the ledge.

Renee's voice carries through the window, "So Bella and Edward have been dating for a very long time now."

Carlisle sounds amused, "Yes, they have."

After a pause my mother continues, "Well I haven't really talked to Bella about being with a boy because she never dated in Phoenix, and I don't see her much here. Have you talked with Edward about being safe and the risks of taking their relationship further?"

Edward winces and drops his head into his hands as I stuff my fist into my mouth to prevent from screaming. Jasper's shoulders are shaking so hard that an entire tree is violently trembling and a disoriented bird flies out in confusion.

After a long pause Esme answers, "Of course. Since Carlisle is a doctor we've told him in even more detail all we could to make sure he chooses the responsible thing to do. All in all Edward and Bella are very well disciplined; they're never throwing themselves at each other or acting inappropriately."

Renee snorts, "Aren't all kids? One minute they're just holding the hands the next you have grandchildren."

I bury my head into my arm. If only I could tell her she has no reason to worry about grandkids. Not that would really help. But never once has this subject come up with Esme and Carlisle.

Never even once. They make some side comments and joke around with us but they have never organized a confrontation.

Honestly, they let Edward come and sleep in my bed every night.

At least I'm an only child. If my sibling had to go through this as well I don't think I would be able to tolerate it.

With a sigh and a scraping of a chair I can hear them all take a seat. Renee continues on, "I do trust Bella; it's just more complicated as they get older. This would be so much easier if Edward were uglier. He's so good-looking that I'm afraid they're just going to start going at it in front of me."

A huge splintering noise makes my head shoot up.

I see Emmett's head plowed straight through the wall. His entire body is convulsing in out of control laughter and everyone except Edward and I are no better.

Alice is hunched over pounding the ground, Jasper is hysterical, rocking back and forth and Rose has her sweater over her face in an attempt to muffle her raucous laughter.

Edward looks absolutely stunned; he's opening and closing his mouth with no sound coming out. His eyes are wide in mortification, when he turns them to me I blush so deeply I'm surprised my hair doesn't light on fire and close my own eyes tightly.

I hear Renee get up, "Do you hear that?"

Instantaneously the noise halts and we become jarringly silent. Carlisle wanders over to the window and sticks his head out pretending to look in the distance for the source of noise.

Surveying us below him he sends Edward a brief pitying glance and then shrugs, "Must have been a bird running into the window or something."

Renee clears her throat, "Oh, ok. Well I suppose we should get back in there. Everyone is probably wondering what we're doing in here. I'm just glad we've talked about this."

Her chair scrapes across the floor again and hurriedly we scramble back into the room. Resuming similar positions to when she first arrived I attempt to appear nonchalant.

As if I didn't just listen to my mother saying some of the most humiliating things I've heard in my entire life.

Emmett hasn't stopping smiling and when the parental units join us once again he's on his feet immediately, "Now who's up for some ice breaker games? We can either do charades or limbo first. Renee you get to choose since you're the guest of honor of course."

Renee looks thrilled by these choices of entertainment, "Limbo first then charades, we'll save the best for last."

Emmett grabs Jasper and within a few minutes they return to set up a bamboo pole across actual limbo prop sticks with different levels. Alice scampers over to a cabinet and pulls out a portable stereo, when she pushes play Caribbean music blares through the room.

Rose sighs heavily and stands beside me, "I hate this game."

I agree sullenly, "Possibly the worst game ever invented. It requires balance and flexibility; does Emmett seriously expect me to play?"

Before I can react Emmett forcibly removes me from my spot as far from the limbo bar as possible to the front of the line, "Yes, I do seriously expect you to play limbo. Now get a' bending under that bar!"

I defiantly stand my ground, "You're either very optimistic or very delusional. Whichever one it is doesn't matter because there is no way I am going under that willingly."

He grabs a fistful of my shirt and pulls me into a back bend then shoves me under the limbo pole. Disgruntled I tug my shirt back into place and send him a baleful look.

Emmett smiles innocently, "Don't look at me like that. If you weren't going to go willingly then you were going to go unwillingly because we are playing limbo. Who's next?"

I've never held such contempt for a game in all my life. I was doing pretty well towards the beginning; my height already gave me an advantage. I could just lean back a little and fit the first few rounds.

It started going down hill when I had to actually be nimble.

After I fell on my back four rounds in a row Emmett announced that I had one more chance then I was out. In that last chance I hit my head on the bar as well as falling flat on my back.

Needless to say once Rose figured out she could escape as well she "clumsily" fell forward and knocked the entire limbo set down. Emmett tried to force her to stay but Carlisle saw how desperate she was and let her go.

With a very pleased look Rose sat beside me and we watched the others.

Alice who is the poster child of limbo, tiny and limber did very well. The final two were surprisingly my mother and her. Everyone else held out to a few rounds before the end though.

Jasper's chin hit the bar, supposedly. There was a huge dispute on this event and we're not really sure.

Carlisle just got bored and bumped the bar, gracefully taking his exit. For once Emmett's physique was his down fall. He couldn't even argue he didn't hit it because when the bar got knocked off it got stuck up the sleeve of his shirt.

Esme got distracted at one point when the Caribbean music got louder during a song and bumped it.

Personally I enjoyed watching Edward the most. I may have a slight bias here but I think he did wonderfully. Even though he is a fair deal taller than Alice or my mother he always managed to lean back elegantly to fit beneath.

Watching him arch under the pole and turn his victorious eyes to me gives me urge to be closer to him.

Now we can look at each other without being overwhelmingly embarrassed. We've managed to suppress the horrific conversation from the kitchen, for now at least.

Jasper, who has on my other side, has been silent since he was "unjustly" removed from the game. That is until finally he whispers into my ear, "Do you just want me to think for him to hit the pole so he can get out of the game for you."

I turn to him puzzled, "Why? He's doing really well."

Jasper gives me an exasperated look, "Bella, I can sense your emotions and right now I should probably give Edward his lava lamp and let you two be for what you're feeling."

Right as he's finishing his sentence Edward bumps the pole. I blush when he comes over with an amused smile looking between Jasper and I.

With a huff I avoid his eyes, "You better not have done that just from hearing the conversation Jasper and I were having."

Edward pulls me to my feet and then takes my seat gently placing me back down on his lap. "And if I were to say I missed being near you as well?"

I give him a kiss on the cheek while muttering, "Suck-up". I'm fully aware of the fact that Renee is staring at us and curl my legs up relaxing as he slides his fingers through my hair.

Renee and Alice just keep going round by round and the bar is disgustingly close to the ground. How can my mother, my own flesh and blood be so flexible? Shouldn't I have inherited at least some of it?

The height of the bar doesn't deter them and they keep going until finally Esme mercifully offers to call pizza for Renee and I. Of course, politely explaining they've already eaten earlier.

Alice and Renee declare a mutually agreed upon tie and they take a seat as seeing how everyone else already was.

When Esme walks back into the room after calling she turns off the music. I was expecting to be blissfully relieved but the irritating music is stuck in my head. I can't escape it no matter what.

Renee keeps shooting furtive glances at Edward and me. He behaves and only runs his fingers through my hair or lightly across my shoulders but no where else.

After a few minutes of silence Rose pokes me in the side, "Bella, do you want to go shopping for shoes and accessories tomorrow?"

I flinch and try to think of something, anything that could get me out of shopping. I've already done my civic duty by going and spending more than half my day shopping.

Emmett catches my eye, "Sorry Rose, Bella and I already have plans for tomorrow."

I squint at him in confusion. What is he talking about?

Rose turns to me, "Really?"

Frantically I scramble for something to say. To go along with Emmett or not? I don't know what I should do. Making a snap decision I stutter out, "Er, uh, yes. I forgot that was tomorrow already!"

Emmett shoots me a huge smile as Rose looks between us skeptically, "What exactly is it that you two are going to be doing?"

As he's about to respond she interrupts, "I'd like for Bella to tell me."

Rose fixes her gaze on me and I wave sheepishly, "Yes?"

She sighs, "What are you two doing tomorrow?"

Shiftily I try to come up with something. My lying has improved since I've had to protect my family of vampires but it's still severely lacking. "I don't know."

Edward snorts and turns my head so that I can see his face. As in he's going to try and dazzle me. This will be interesting since I honestly have no clue what Emmett is talking about. "Come on Bella, what are you doing tomorrow with Emmett?"

His eyes are swirling and I can feel my breathing quicken but I still tell him, "I don't know."

Edward frowns, "What do you mean you don't know?" He looks over to Emmett and stares him down trying to read his mind and figure it out.

If he does then everyone will know we're lying and I'll have to go shopping again! I can not let that happen.

The panic that sets in kicks me into self defense mode and I blurt out, "I don't know because it's a secret. Emmett told me a month ago he had a surprise for me."

Rose looks at me suspiciously again and then shrugs, "Ok whatever. We'll go some other time. Alice and I can get everything set in stone for hair and makeup then; we'll go some other time."

I sigh in relief as the doorbell rings and Alice leaps to her feet and runs to the front door. She skips back with a pizza in one hand and bread sticks in the other, she makes sure to look me straight in the eye as she goes, "Mmmm, smells like garlic!"

Everyone chuckles as Renee looks at us all oddly. Esme ushers my mother and I into the kitchen, "Time to eat now, I don't want anyone hungry in my house."

Again everyone breaks into snickers at this and Jasper winks at me. Edward follows behind me with an exasperated sigh.

I pull out a chair in the kitchen and sit beside Renee. Esme and Edward pretend to not be listening over by the counter as we start to eat.

I take a bite of pizza and feel my mother staring at me the entire time. Hoping if I ignore her and keep eating she'll stop I do exactly that.

Unfortunately she seems really focused on staring at me and after a while clears her throat to get my attention. I look up acting as if I was completely oblivious to the fact that she was staring a hole through my head. "Yes?"

Renee smiles at me, "Bella I'm really glad I got to meet the Cullen's and that I get to visit with you. I never see you anymore."

I smile back and pull her into a hug, "I'm really glad to Mom, it's nice to have you around."

We continue eating in silence and end up devouring everything. Emmett bounds into the kitchen seconds after we're done and cleans up our dishes for us. "Come on it's time for charades!"

With a groan from me and a squeal from Renee we trial back into the room, and I wait for Edward to sit then take my place on his lap once again. Alice pulls out a bowler hat that looks oddly familiar.

Carlisle nods to me and I snort, it's the hat that Jasper despises. I watch him as he glares angrily at the hat and purposefully turns away from it.

Alice shakes the hat full of laminated cards with acts for the charades invitingly.

The Cullen's are hardcore charade players. "Renee, you get first pick."

My mother digs around in the hat for a while until she finds a satisfactory card and then reads it. Getting to her feet she starts miming something.

As everyone falls quiet to watch her, my exhaustion hits me full force. I don't regularly wake up at 6 o'clock when I have the opportunity to sleep in. Plus all the running around that we did wore me out.

I snuggle into Edward as my eyes flutter shut.

A sudden motion launches me into consciousness. I rub my eyes and look around dazedly, "Wha?"

Edward rubs my arms slowly, "We're done playing charades. You passed out right as we were starting. Alice wanted to wake you up but we figured you needed to sleep."

I blink rapidly to regain my sight and stretch my arms up as Renee pats me on the head. "We should get you home and I need to get back to the hotel or Phil will think I've been kidnapped, again."

I fight back a yawn and giggle at this, "Alright, who's taking us back to my Dad's then?"

Esme offers to and Renee gets up to say goodbye to everyone. I watch as she walks around talking to the Cullen's and I get stricken with a sense of surrealism.

My mother has actually survived meeting the Cullen's. I don't mean that literally either. And surprisingly, or not mattering on how you look at it she seems to really like Emmett. I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing.

Edward nudges me to my feet, "You should go. I'll see you in a little while."

I wave to everyone as we leave and Emmett leans towards me, "Come on over whenever you wake up tomorrow and we'll go."

I nod and follow my mother and Esme. I'm not very comfortable with this "event" Emmett has planned tomorrow but I suppose anything is better than shopping.

Esme ushers us into Carlisle's car and Renee gawks yet again for five minutes. I have to physically push her into the seat so we can leave. Esme drives us to Charlie's at a human speed and as we climb out gives Renee a hug.

I smile broadly and my mother and I wave as she drives away.

I turn to her, "So do you want to come in for a while or just head out right away?"

She gives me a long look, "I should just head out right away. Bella, I know I already told you this, but I'm really glad I got to spend time with you."

This feels like déjà vu but I pull her into a hug, "Me too, Mom, me too."

She wipes at her eyes hurriedly and I respectfully pretend not to notice.

I walk with her to her car and she gets in and smiles at me one last time, "Take care sweetie. I don't have to worry about you here because I know the Charlie and the Cullen's have everything under control."

I snort but nod along with her, "Drive safe Mom, and call me more often! I love you."

She pats my hand, "I love you too Bella. Sleep well!"

With that she speeds out of the driveway and I can't help but see the irony. She married a law abiding man and I forced my speed addicted comrades to slow down for my mother, but she drives at their speeds anyways.

I turn back to the house and make my way to the door. At least I won't have any problems sleeping tonight, Edward's coming and I'm already half asleep right now.

The only thing that's nagging me is Emmett's "surprise".

Let's just hope this surprise won't involve a trapeze because if I have to wear a sequined leotard again I will be none to happy.

A/N: Ah, Renee. So there you go next chapter, nice and long like you want them. It's the least I can do with the amount of time it takes me to update. Review if you'd like and remember if you don't my ego is getting