A/N: I'm so terribly sorry about this update, I think it's the worst of them all so far. I'll keep this short so you can get to reading but I thank you all TREMENDOUSLY for the positive reviews. They really do keep me typing and now I'll shut up.
Emmett's Surprise Involves a Sumo Suit?
I was so tired last night that Edward actually woke me up worried that I was suffering from some health ailment because my breathing was so deep. No I am not kidding, imagine my surprise at being shaken awake and asked if I feel like I'm functioning properly.
Besides that interruption it was quite a nice night.
I'm not sure exactly what time it is right now but I feel well rested which is all that really matters on a weekend. I grope around my dresser for the clock but a hand intertwines with mine and pushes it beneath the covers. "It's ten, Charlie already left and you're not going to meet Emmett till at least noon."
Laughing I roll myself closer to him, "Isn't that one of those warning signs of an abusive relationship?"
He brushes the hair out my eyes and gently kisses my forehead, "What? Your father going fishing?"
I roll my eyes as I struggle to sit up and scoot closer to the edge of the bed. "No, the not letting your partner go out bit."
He loops his arm around my waist and pulls me back down onto the bed looking at me with a mischievous expression, "Is it my fault I don't want to share you?"
I need to go to the bathroom to make myself presentable; I probably have terrible morning breath. "I'm sure that's what they all say." Pathetically I attempt to get out of his grasp again but he tightens his hold on me.
After a moment I sigh, "I can't even call you abusive when I'm kidding."
He surveys me with interest, "And why is that?"
Watching the dim light dance across the ceiling I mutter reluctantly, "Out of the two of us I am far more abusive than you are."
He grins at this and loosens his hold on me, "Go have your human moment already, my arm hurts from trying to pin you down."
I send him a mock glare and hit his shoulder. As I'm halfway out of the room I realize that's just proving my point and throw up my arms, "You see that! I am abusive."
He chuckles at me as I head to the bathroom and lock the door. I do all my bathroom essentials such as toilet, shower, toothbrush and then tug on jeans and a sweater.
The weather has been pretty tolerable lately and by that I mean only long sleeves instead of long sleeves and a jacket. I go back to my room to see Edward still lying lazily across my bed.
He smiles at my return and I grin as well, "I've got to make my bed." He obligingly moves to the rocking chair as I straighten my bed up and fold my pajama's. With that done I throw myself back down on top of the sheets and take a deep breath.
A weight on my right sinks the bed down and I slide in that direction. Edward braces his arm against me and leans forward to lightly press his lips against my collar bone. I close my eyes as he leaves lingering kisses along my jaw.
With a smirk he pulls away and sprawls beside me sighing contently. Not wanting to break contact with him I languidly prop myself up onto my elbow and with my other hand trace the contours of his cheekbones.
He watches my every move and once I finish with tracing his face I run my fingers through his hair.
A bird chirps loudly outside my window and makes me jump. Edward tries to cover up his grin as I give the bird an affronted glower. "I believe it's time for you to eat."
I wistfully gaze at his hair. I've never really gotten to touch his hair as much as I'd like. We're always interrupted or I get too distracted to remember that I want to.
He pulls me to my feet and leads the way to the kitchen, "What would you like to eat this morning?"
'I'm Edward Cullen and I learned how to cook and now I have to cook everything I can. Let's just make Bella's own father prefer my cooking over Bella's. Let's not let Bella cook at all since she's so much worse than me.'
Stupid vampire who shouldn't know how to cook but was trying to impress me and show he cared about me and my human needs.
How is it that his perfection even has perfect reasoning? Life is not fair.
I decide since he's stolen my position as head cook I am allowed some sort of scornful resentment. "Well I was thinking a frightened elk might be delicious."
Edward looks at me exasperatedly, "Bella, please."
I gaze at him innocently, "What? It'd be early morning protein, would it not?"
His expression doesn't change and I unceremoniously sit on top of the kitchen table cross-legged, "Fine, be that way. I'd like some French toast."
Before I can even pretend that I'm bored there's a plate of steaming, ideal French toast with the syrup already warmed up and a glass of milk right in front of me. I lean over my plate and pick up the fork to start eating.
Edward watches with the same fascination as always, I never understand how interesting it is to watch someone's jaw move around. He could have watched anyone whenever he felt like it in the school cafeteria but apparently he's particular about which human he watches.
In between a mouthful I look over to Edward, "So last night was interesting."
He grins, "Yes it was. I don't think limbo is one of your fortes."
I shove more French toast into my mouth and swallow, "Don't even ok; I have a bruise on the back of my head. I think I did the best when Emmett forced me under."
At this Edward seems mildly apologetic, "I am sorry about you falling but since I was near the end of the line my shooting forward to catch you wouldn't have been very acceptable with your mother there."
I nod understandingly and make sure my face is turned from his as I lift the milk to my lips, "So has the hole that Emmett put in the wall been fixed?"
He coughs self-consciously, "Carlisle made him repair it last night."
I nod, "So what are you planning on doing today?"
Edward takes my empty dishes to the sink for me as he answers, "Well I'm spending my time with you until you need to meet Emmett for your mysterious plans. After that I think Jasper and I are going to come up with a place to hide our wedding outfits in."
I wag my finger at him in a scolding manner, "Alice will know where they are and you had better wear your top hat mister."
He raises his eyebrow at me, "Or what?"
I huff and clamber off of the table to go look out the window. There's no use in even responding, the only thing I can think of that's mildly threatening is to glue the top hat to his head but that wouldn't end well.
It's mildly bright but not actually sunny so after sneaking a look at Edward I run for the door. Once outside I attempt to climb the tree. Ever since I first laid eyes on this tree with its spindly limbs I've had the biggest urge to climb it.
Unfortunately it turns out that rain makes trees rather soggy and none to desirable for climbing. And even more surprising than that is that it tends to rain constantly in Forks.
I've got my hand wrapped around a branch and am about to jump up when Edward holds me in place, "Do you need any help?"
I cross my arms and look at him fiercely, "Are you trying to imply that I am unable to climb this tree without your help?"
He lifts his hands up in defense and backs away from me, "No I was not, I was just wondering if you needed help but you obviously don't so climb away."
I step around the tree to get a full view and blanch, this tree is huge. Maybe a look at it before I blew up and lectured on my independence might have helped. Well, I suppose I need to find a sturdy branch.
Tentatively I poke at a promising one, this poke triggers a giant slab of bark to slide off the branch and land at my feet with a thump. Hm, guess not.
Edward chuckles at me as I defiantly pick up the bark and inspect it. He is not going to get the satisfaction of knowing I can't do this by myself. "Aha! Just as I expected."
With his eyebrow raised Edward smirks at me, "And what would you be expecting out of tree bark?"
I hesitate for a moment, "Well that it was loose, obviously. Now be quiet I can't be distracted when I'm trying to climb unless you want me to fall."
His eyes are bright with amusement but he doesn't answer and just keeps watching me. I sigh deeply and then decide to just go for it. Wrapping my arms around a strong branch I wrench myself a few inches from the ground and then stumble back down.
Upper body strength, why must you mock me in this way?
I jump up again and of course start to slip back down but before I can I quickly swing my legs up and cling to the branch. Now I'm off the ground and vaguely resemble a sloth without the creepy long claws.
I do have a whole lot of hair hanging in my face though. Edward comes closer to the tree probably to try and catch me if I fall.
He stops as I attempt a stern expression, most likely understanding my intent, because as seeing I'm upside down looking like Cousin It and glowering I'm probably not looking very imposing at the moment.
I wrap my legs around the tree tighter and try to inch forward, in reality I accidentally let go with my arms and end up hanging completely upside down swinging wildly.
Edward's hands are on my shoulders lifting me up before I even realize that I've slipped and I wave him away indignantly, "I meant to do that."
Warily he backs away, "Sure you did, but if you fall off I am catching you whether you like it or not."
Tightening my legs around the branch I grin at him, the blood is rushing to my head, but I haven't done this since the fourth grade. I invitingly pat the branch, "Edward, you know you want to."
He laughs as I wiggle my eyebrows and once again pat the space next to me, "Come on, you're missing out! Do you see all the fun that I'm having?"
With an exaggerated sigh Edward swiftly climbs the branch and is hanging upside down beside me.
He looks at me with a slightly disturbed expression, "I feel like I'm succumbing to the classic myth of hanging upside down like bats."
I nudge him with my elbow and giggle, "Its fun though isn't it?"
He turns his head to me, his hair chaotically hanging into his face, "Yes Bella, this is so thrilling I'm glad I joined you."
As we swing from the tree Edward suddenly looks towards the road, "Someone's coming." I strain myself to hear what he's talking about. A rumbling of a car gets closer and he relaxes, "It's just the UPS delivery man."
I watch with interest as the giant brown truck stops in front of my house and a man hops out with a package. He starts walking up the driveway and as he nears the door he turns and sees Edward and me hanging upside down in the tree grinning at him like idiots.
"Uh...I need someone to sign for the package." Walking towards us like he's afraid we're going to assault him he holds out the clipboard tentatively.
I reach out and grab it from him squinting in concentration as I scribble out my signature. Edward cocks his head at the man, "Nice weather we're having today isn't it?"
The UPS man looks at him startled, "Yes, I suppose."
I hand back the clipboard and he gives me the package in exchange. I smile and point downward, "Thank you, would you mind just putting it at the bottom of the tree?"
He places it on the grass and gives us one last frightened glance, "You two enjoy your day now."
I wave at him as he hurriedly strides back to his truck, "You too!"
Once the engine is running he speeds away as quickly as he can. Edward snorts, "I wish you could have heard what he was thinking."
I'm starting to feel really lightheaded; I clench my eyes closed and try to alleviate the pressure. Edward lightly traces his hand across my temple, "Bella you should probably come down now, all this blood to your head isn't good for you."
I suppose he's right. Why is it that it's always my stupid human needs that ruin all my fun?
Seeing that I'm not fighting him Edward takes me down from the branch and places me on the grass.
"I wonder what the package is." After I state this he hands it to me and I stare at it for a moment before picking it up and shaking it a few times.
I shrug and Edward rolls his eyes at me, "Why don't you just open it?"
I shoot him a glare, "Don't rush me, I'm getting there." Slowly I pull the tape off and open the package, it's a fishing rod.
I should have known. I get to my feet and take the fishing rod inside to put it on the table for Charlie.
Edward trials behind me and when I turn I see him watching me with a calculating expression. His eyes smolder as they meet mine and he takes a step closer to me, "Bella what are you and Jasper going shopping for?"
Oh no, I should have known he would have poked into that conversation. Why is it only he can be the only giving the surprises? When anyone else wants to he already knows, well I'm not telling him.
The smarmy little trickster won't get a thing out of me; I can't say the same for his family members. But really it's not their fault though, they can't just stop thinking.
I back away from him, "That's none of your concern."
He places his hand on the side of my face and exhales surrounding me in his alluring breath.
Seductively he leans forward letting his lips brush against my neck as he speaks, "Bella, you know you want to tell me."
I try to turn myself away from him but he leans his body into mine, pinning me back against the wall. I can't see over his shoulder so I brush off his shirt and inspect for invisible lint.
Placing his hands on either side of my head he lowers his face so it's directly in front of mine. There's no possible way I can avoid his eyes.
His velvet voice is barely audible, "Bella, please tell me."
My lungs begin to burn and I inwardly curse myself for forgetting to breathe, again.
I feel so stupid when this happens, it reminds me of that dumb blonde joke everyone always tells.
You know the one where she's wearing headphones and when she takes them off she collapses and the headphones are saying 'Inhale, exhale'. I always laughed thinking how could you ever forget to breathe, but it turns out I'm that person who does.
Edward's eyes are burning into mine and I feel my resolve slipping as his breath pulls me into an anesthetic state. I can't fight him he's far too persuasive but I refuse to tell him about his present. "Jasper and I are going to buy your birthday present."
There take that you cheater, I gave you an answer, of course he already knew that but that's beside the point.
He looks at me stunned for a moment, "Did you just avoid my question?" What his dazzling powers aren't infallible.
I just won't mention how difficult it was to get that out. Plus I did answer so it's not like I wasn't affected.
As seeing he is completely floored by my almost ignoring his dazzling ways I am able to wiggle my way away from him and to the window.
I forgot to check if he brought the Volvo over, I'm hoping he didn't. I need to get my truck some fresh air. The poor thing has been stuck in the driveway for weeks now.
I peer outside and only see my truck, now the hard part will be convincing Edward to let me drive it to his house. Glancing briefly at the clock I see we have only a little while before noon, if I'm going to be driving my senior citizen I'll need that whole time to get to the Cullen's.
Edward finally realizes I'm not within his grasp anymore and turns blinking owlishly at me. I give him a small finger wave, "Edward?"
He watches me shiftily look to the car and gauge my chances at dashing inside to speed away. Oddly enough I think even I could run at a speed that would catch up to my truck.
Giving me a stern look he gravely motions to the truck, "Bella, that thing is a safety hazard."
Oh come on. A safety hazard? It's hazardous to no one, not even little critters who dart in the middle of the road. I can't really hit any of them because I'm going at such a mellow pace I don't need to swerve or slam on the brakes anyways.
I feel like Snow White half the time, it's like I attract half the animals. They seem to know my car is safe and decide to start waltzing in the middle of the road.
Hopefully they'll get out of that habit, it's quite distracting.
I gaze at Edward dolefully, "You haven't let me drive in over a month! The thing needs to move or it'll starting rusting where it is and I'll never be able to use it."
He watches me carefully and sighs after a long moment, "Fine, we'll take your truck but I am entitled to complaining as often as I would like, deal?"
I throw my arms around him excitedly, "Complain all you like." I pull away from him and go retrieve the keys; I'm surprised I even remember where I put them. Twirling them around my finger I grab his arm and we make our way out to the truck.
I climb in and buckle my seatbelt and turn to Edward as he stares at me worriedly. With a mock scolding tone to my voice I tell him, "Edward, put your seatbelt on."
This clears his previous expression as his laugh reverberates through the truck. Putting on his seatbelt he rolls his eyes, "Of course, how could I be so thoughtless."
I turn the car on and comfortably start the trip to the Cullen's. One of the reasons I love this truck so much is I already have a built in speed limit, it will physically not go past fifty so I just have to take it easy.
Traveling at such high speeds makes me uncomfortable. When I'm changed I'll probably be the only vampire who actually enjoys driving under the speed limit.
I maintain my speed of twenty miles per hour happily with my eyes focused solely on the road. There's no use in turning to look at Edward and proving I'm incapable of driving.
After we get a couple miles from my house he can't stand it anymore, "Bella, I'm not asking you to go seventy, not that it's possible in this vehicle, but please can you go a little faster?"
Resolutely I stay at my same pace, "Edward I don't need Alice to be here to know the one time I decide to speed up I'll get pulled over and most likely by my father." That's just the way my life works and as long as I'm aware of this there's no reason to push it.
Sighing heavily he clenches his eyes shut and mutters under his breath. I pointedly ignore him and keep driving.
We reach the Cullen house eventually; I'll just leave out the fact that Edward whined the whole time and we also came across one of the animal waltzes, again. I hop out of the truck and smile brightly as Edward darkly slams his door.
I would tell him to be careful with the old dear but I can only push his patience so far per day. He opens the door for me and I walk in nervously, I managed to temporarily forget about Emmett's surprise.
Emmett bounds up to us immediately and grabs onto my shoulders turning me to face Edward. "We're leaving right away so say goodbye."
After inspecting Emmett's face I unthinkingly blurt out, "For the last time?"
Edward and Emmett both give me strange looks and I wince. I hadn't meant to say that out loud it's just that Emmett has a really creepy expression right now and I'm worried.
Edward pulls me closer to his side eyeing Emmett up suspiciously, "Emmett what exactly are you planning on doing that gave Bella the impression she might never come back?"
At this Emmett dismissively ruffles Edward's hair, "She has no clue what we're doing remember?"
Once that's clarified they both turn to me and I shrug innocently, "I panicked."
Emmett snorts, "Right, so say goodbye, for now and let's get out of here. Just stop worrying Bella; we're going to have so much fun."
I cling to Edward trying to reason that everything will be alright. Who am I kidding? I'm just trying to convince myself this is going to be better than shopping.
Strangely enough Emmett's reassurance of "fun" has the opposite affect on me. I'm even more reluctant to participate in what Emmett considers fun.
Does anyone else but me recall that he finds aggravating irate bears an enjoyable pastime game?
Edward kisses the top of my head and smiles reassuringly, "Bella, you are the one who was so adamant on going, so have fun. I'll see you when you return."
Emmett grabs my hand and tugs me into the garage barely containing his devious expression. Taking a deep breath to calm myself I try to stay optimistic, I shouldn't jump to these sinister conclusions about Emmett's fun.
I'm sure I'm just over reacting and I'll really end up enjoying my day with him.
I think this right up until the point when we approach the Jeep. "Emmett! No, no way, I've been in this yesterday already I am not going again. Too much exposure to your car is bad for my health."
He gives me a mock serious expression, "Bella, you are going to get in my Jeep and we are going to have fun. Are you going to be perfectly compliant in this plan or shall I bring you back inside to go shoe shopping with Rose and Alice?"
That is a low blow right there, a low blow.
Even though I'm fully aware Emmett could have me tied down in the car and five miles away within milliseconds I humor myself and move to put the car between us. "Why do we have to take the Jeep?"
Emmett sighs and explains to me as if I'm a child, "Bella, this is my car. I drive it places, when you go out with Edward you take his car. This is no different."
Uh, actually it is quite different. The Jeep looks like it can eat Edward's Volvo. Our fierce glaring continues until Emmett slowly moves towards me.
I jump back holding my arms out in front of me, as if that would help and attempt to threaten him, "I'll scream!"
He just laughs at me, "Edward knows you're only scared of the car and you're in no danger so nothing will happen anyways."
Of course the one time Emmett decides to take the initiative and think through all aspects of an idea it's when he's forcing me into the Jeep.
If I can come up with some tangible reasons as why to avoid said vehicle I'm good because apparently my irrational fear is not reason enough. "But, the Jeep is huge, it calls all sorts of attention and don't you want to avoid human attention?"
Obviously already prepared for this argument he counters back, "Generally yes, but where we'll be going no know will see us in the first place."
My eyes widen with fear I stare wordlessly, "And what will we be doing?"
With a reassuring wink he motions towards the garage door, "Now we can't speak or think upon that matter until we're far enough away from here so dear Eddie doesn't know."
A silence resumes and we're both staring each other down willing the other to give in, unfortunately I'm a rather stubborn human and Emmett is an extremely, extremely patient vampire.
He's just waiting for me to give in. While I would like to prove him wrong I know it's me who will cave.
But really how am I expected to outlast someone who has been trained to watch paint dry for eight days straight?
There's no way whatsoever that's even feasible. I understand Rose wanted to make sure the car was safe but I don't think there is a more dangerous thing than a patient Emmett.
With a persuasive quality to his already reassuring voice Emmett slowly edges around the car towards me, "Bella, if we get away from the house I can tell you where we're going. Remember it's a surprise, I don't want Edward knowing before we actually get anywhere."
I give a final huff as I stomp to the passenger side, "Fine then."
A huge grin graces Emmett's face as he lifts me into the Jeep and straps me into the harness correctly. The garage door isn't even fully opened as he rockets out and hurtles away from the mansion.
I press my face up to the glass to try and patch together some clues as to where we're heading.
There's a lot of green, no big surprise there but it just seems like we're going further away from civilization.
What a comfort.
Maybe Emmett loaded the car up for what we're going to do. I turn, or well if you can call it that considering I'm pinned in place by a harness, to look behind me. Out of the corner of my eyes I can vaguely make out a huge shape.
It's a burlap sack of some kind and I'm not exaggerating when I say that it's larger and wider than I am.
"Emmett? If you don't mind my asking what is that thing in your back seat?" He just holds up a finger to his smirking lips, I guess we aren't far enough away from the house yet.
Now fueled by the sudden reminder that I'm in Emmett's hands I squint out the window. I'm not taking green as a suitable answer for our location anymore.
After zooming past all helpful road signs at such a high velocity that I can't read them I'm left with just green, again.
No, I said I wasn't taking green for an answer, this isn't fair!
Emmett suddenly lurches the Jeep to a stop and turns to me with an expression that would make even the worlds bravest start quaking.
He folds his hands in front of him in a business-like manner before beginning. "You're wondering where we are, no doubt, and all I can answer that with is in the middle of nowhere. I picked the most secluded place I could because, dear Bella, I'm going to teach you how to drive above the speed limit."
I squeak in fear and try to sink into my seat. I knew I should have just gone shopping.
Emmett takes my silence as a sign to continue, "So, considering the dangerous nature of this task I took all of the necessary precautions. We wouldn't want you to get hurt because that would mean Edward would go on an angry revenge rampage and it would just lead to no good."
I nod in agreement more out of the angry rampage deal than the actual goal at hand. "And what are these necessary precautions you have taken?"
They had better be good considering the logistics of a crash in this monster.
Emmett motions to the giant sack that I noticed earlier and unbuckles my safety harness, "Hop out and I'll show you."
Trembling slightly I jump down from the Jeep and walk over to where Emmett is standing with the oddly shaped bag. He grins excitedly as he places it on the ground in front of me, "Go ahead and open it."
Tentatively I step closer and pull the bag open to peer inside. And the great safety measures Emmett has for me?
A sumo suit.
An actual sumo wrestling suit, as in one of those huge fat suits with the loin cloths and the helmets in the shape of hair.
I blink at it unsure if he's serious but as I look up to see him bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet I know he is. Frowning I examine the suit and look from it to the Jeep several times. "Emmett will I even fit in the Jeep if I'm wearing this?"
With an eye roll he tosses the empty sack into the back of the Jeep, "Yes, I made sure that you would be able to. Now put the suit on and let's start your driving lessons!"
I make a face the entire time I step into the suit and shove my arms through then jam the helmet on to my head. I can't zip up the back so I have to waddle over to Emmett and have him do it.
This is ridiculous; the couple steps I'm taking are like an aerobic work out with all this weight from the suit.
Once I'm fully geared up to go Emmett lifts me into the driver's seat. I have no chance to fight him off; my already weak human arsenal is severely crippled by the sumo suit.
He gets into the passenger seat and actually puts his seat belt on. I turn to him affronted, "Emmett! Why would you put your seat belt on only when I'm the one driving?"
Giving me a sheepish expression he quickly starts the car before I can say anything else. "Alrighty now! Hello my pupil I am your driving instructor, we will be mastering the art of driving over five miles per hour today."
I restrain myself from demonstrating to Emmett a colorful hand gesture, he'd probably only laugh. It really isn't possible to take anyone wearing a sumo suit seriously.
In an attempt to at least get him to shut up I start driving on the deserted road at ten miles per hour. "See? Over five, I'm done."
As I try to turn off the car Emmett quite unjustly uses his speed advantage to tie a block of lead to my right foot.
The Jeep's speedometer starts to rise steadily as I unsuccessfully attempt to wrench my foot off of the gas pedal. My eyes widen as we reach sixty, "You can't do this to me! I am a law abiding citizen!"
Emmett begins to cackle with much more enthusiasm than he should regarding my suffering. I'm too afraid to take my eyes off the road anymore. I keep us straight on the road to not cause a collision.
My eyes flit down to the speed gauge and I nearly start to hyperventilate when I see it's at one hundred twenty.
I can't move my leg at all and I'm about to start crying when Emmett finally takes pity on me and removes the lead block. As the car starts to slow down considerably I glare at him angrily, "When they say 'lead foot' it's meant as a figure of speech."
Ignoring my snide remark Emmett starts clapping for me, "That was excellent my pupil. You drove at illegal speeds and survive to tell the tale."
I get back to ten miles per hour and happily cruise around at that before Emmett gives me a warning look. "Speed it up missy or you'll have the lead tied to your foot again."
Testily I speed up to twenty before Emmett straps the lead on my foot again anyways. As we fly down the road at ninety I realize the unthinkable, this actually isn't that bad.
It's kind of fun. Oh no! I'm becoming one of them. I must fight the temptation. Suddenly Emmett whips his head around and cringes, "Oops."
The adrenaline rushes out of me at the way Emmett apologetically gives me a feeble smile. "What?"
He begins to twiddle his thumbs, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news."
I wait expectantly for him to go on, "The good news is you drive really well with lead attached to your foot."
My eyes slowly narrow but I don't dare turn to him, we're at one twenty again, "What's the bad news Emmett?"
Coughing he mumbles something unintelligible. I prompt him once again with an irritated cough.
Grudgingly he repeats, "It turns out this isn't exactly in the middle of no where because there's a horde of police men who've clocked you and are following us right now."
I silently scream and keep my shaking hands firmly on the steering wheel as my human ears detect the quickly approaching sirens. I frantically try to make the decision that will determine what happens to us hooligans.
If I tell Emmett to take the lead off my foot and I stop there's no doubt we'll get a ticket and can you imagine the shame? Everybody and I mean everybody would know what happened.
Or I could keep speeding up and try to outrun them. Which you know in the long run would lead to jail time for trying to evade law enforcement. But if we make it...
With a heavy sigh I turn to Emmett, "Take the lead off please."
Solemnly he unties it for me already expecting the worse but once the lead is off my foot I slam it down even harder onto the gas.
Emmett watches me in amazement, "Bella, what are you doing?"
A maniacal grin very similar to the one growing on him is planted on my face, "I'm engaging in a police chase on my own free will."
He looks as if he may burst with delight, "I'm so proud of you!"
I laugh and check the rear view mirror to see the police gaining on us when a speaker phoned voice blares out, "Pull over immediately!"
Happily ignoring the warning I keep my speed going and one daring officer sidles beside us. He looks up expecting most likely some scruffy drunken buffoon, but oh was he wrong.
When he sees me in the sumo suit such a look of confusion crosses his face that I wave merrily and dart forward even faster.
Emmett is naturally laughing uncontrollably at the situation. I keep going until I realize abruptly that there are more officers coming from the direction we're heading. "Emmett, what are we going to do?"
Straightening in his seat Emmett carefully watches them approach, "I'll take care of it, and you just keep driving. Even when you get close enough to hit them keep going."
Suddenly a whoosh of air hits me and Emmett is gone.
Feeling distinctly like a criminal on 'World's Wildest Police Chases' I keep hurtling down the road, head on to meet the police force waiting to arrest me.
The nerves start to hit as I can define the hair colors of each of the officers, I'm getting so close.
But I keep going, knowing somehow Emmett has everything under control, or least I sure hope he does.
The police men start to anxiously pace as they realize I'm not slowing down at all. Involuntarily a scream erupts as I reach the human road block but amazingly I don't collide with them.
In fact to be precise I'm flying over them.
The Jeep makes a bumpy landing and an invigorated Emmett is beside me once again. "The looks on their faces were priceless."
Stunned I can only stare at the open road before me, "What if anyone saw you?"
He dismisses that, "I listened and I can still hear them, they have no clue how that happened."
Relieved I focus on how to get the police off our tails, "Where are we going to ditch the Jeep and escape?"
Emmett stares at me in surprise, "Bella since when did you become the expert criminal?"
I shrug innocently, "Too much time watching action movies I guess."
He shakes his head at me as he scans the area. I think I'll have to apologize later as seeing how we're never going to be able to take the Jeep in this county every again, not that I know where it is.
After another stretch of the police chasing us, although now there's double the amount Emmett points to the right. "Turn there, if we can time this right we'll be able to park and hide the Jeep in an abandoned warehouse while making our get away."
I turn the Jeep into the path Emmett indicated and we fly out of our seats at the uneven ground. I see the warehouse and quickly head towards it as Emmett leaps out to open the doors for me.
I pull inside and he motions to a tarped area in the middle, carefully maneuvering underneath I turn the car off. Now if only I can get this stupid harness off, Emmett realizes I'm still stuck and unbuckles me.
I stumble out of the Jeep and attempt to follow Emmett's swift pace, the only problem is I forgot in the heat of the chase that I was wearing the sumo suit.
I waddle along at a painfully slow speed and just clear the door to the warehouse before Emmett realizes what's taking me so long.
He strides over to me and tosses me over his shoulder, "I'm just going to go over to the other side of the road and make a whole bunch of noise to lead them astray."
I whisper back, "Alright." We dart past the policemen who are poking around and searching for the ruffians who just gave them the biggest chase they'll ever come across.
Emmett starts to knock trees down and purposefully bumps into anything solid that will call attention in this direction.
As we hear the police start to flock in this direction Emmett shoots off onto a path and suddenly stops putting me on my feet beside a large lake. I look around confused, "What are we doing here?"
Emmett holds up an oxygen tank and scuba goggles for me, "We're going to be taking a shortcut through this lovely body of water to avoid the fuzz."
I shrug, oddly not perturbed by this plan whatsoever, I spend way too much time around Emmett that I can take practically anything into stride. But I am a little confused, "Where was that deep sea diving gear?"
As he starts to walk into the lake he grins, "Alice told me to bring it along, now I know why but I kept it in your loin cloth. It's very convenient, like a fanny pack, literally."
I look down in slight fear at the size of my loin cloth, who knows what else is in there.
With a shudder I put the scuba goggles securely over my eyes and nose then attach the oxygen tank to the handy but alarming loin cloth.
I stagger to where Emmett is waiting for me and he easily loops his arm around my bulky suit, "Ready?"
Surveying him through the hazy goggles I point to the lake and nasally respond, "Ready as I'll ever be."
He takes one last breath, for comfort's sake, and then submerges us both into the waters of the unnamed lake. I watch in fascination as Emmett powerfully propels us through the lake.
There's fish and all sorts of strange plants and animals surrounding us, it's like one of those museum tours in the glass tunnel through an aquarium.
Except of course we're actually in the water.
At first I was so distracted by all the fish I forgot I needed to breath and started to feel dizzy before I took a puff of oxygen.
I have no clue how long we've been under here but I know for sure that if I was swimming across it would probably take me a week at least. Not to mention Emmett is tugging me in my waterlogged sumo suit with him as well.
Finally we start to incline more sharply towards the surface and our heads break out from under the water.
Emmett tugs me along to the shore and I look back to where we first dove in, I can barely see the trees over there. I tug the goggles off my face and shove them with oxygen tank back into my loin cloth.
I've got the hang of how to walk in the suit now, sort of, I'm still much slower than normal but I'm not falling behind too much.
Emmett starts walking to a road ahead, "I'll just go back and get the Jeep tonight. What color do you think I should have Rose paint it? Since obviously it's rather noticeable and was an escape vehicle."
I lumber beside Emmett, "Paint it a nice green; it'll be a better camouflage."
He grins, "I think I will, partner in crime. Can you believe we actually just escaped from a high speed police chase?"
I giggle as I attempt to shake some water out of the suit, "I feel like a rebel."
Emmett pats me on the back, "Well this actually classifies you as a rebel, last time you said that you only accidentally left the school office with one of their pens."
I huff, "That was rebellious, hush you."
Once we reach denser forest Emmett throws me over this shoulder again and runs us a pretty good chunk of the way back to Forks.
He stops when he reaches a public park several miles from the Cullen household and puts me down, "There's a picnic going on."
Shuffling down the road I attempt not to squint at them to try and see if I know any of them. Emmett and I stay completely silent as we approach the entrance to the park.
That is until I ask, "Do we know any of them?"
Silently I beg that they have no clue who we are and vice versa. But Emmett nods, "It's Jessica and that crew."
I flinch and as we go right past them and try to act as inconspicuous as possible. It's of no use though because I can hear them talking about us from here, "Do we know them?"
"Hey, that's Emmett Cullen!"
"Ew! Is that large person next to him only wearing a loin cloth?"
"No, that's a sumo wrestling suit they're in, you idiot."
"Oh my God I think that's Bella."
"No way!"
"Yeah, I think it is too, I can see the long hair from under the sumo helmet."
Jessica waves and calls out to me, "Hey Bella!"
In a last feeble attempt to conceal myself I try to hide behind Emmett. Of course normally that would be perfectly fine and Emmett's massive figure would block me from view but I'm wearing a fat suit.
A fat suit that is quite visible even behind Emmett's enormous frame. He snorts but tries to stop from laughing out loud, "They can still see you."
I meekly stumble out from behind Emmett and wave back, "Hey Jess!"
She motions for us to come over and after exchanging a pained look with Emmett we both drag out feet as we go over to the group of people.
The only person who I actually consider a human friend and I still spend some time with is Angela and I know she's not here. She told me on Friday that she had a date with Ben today at this Grandmother's house.
As we get closer everyone gawks at us in general, either at Emmett's attractive appearance or my soaked, sumo suit wearing form.
And just my luck, Lauren is here. She snidely pushes past Jessica to look me up and down, "Nice outfit Bella."
If I actually had the courage to I would spit back, 'Nice face Lauren.'
Jessica just stares, "What happened to you guys?"
Emmett and I meet each others gaze and then look away quickly. Obviously we can't actually tell the truth. Besides the fact that it's illegal it sounds more like a lie than any lie we could tell.
This is an instance where the truth is much, much stranger than fiction.
Emmett sighs, "It's an extremely long story."
I nod in agreement at a loss of anything else to describe what we went through. Jessica pouts clearly she had been hoping for something gossip worthy, "Oh."
I start to edge away from everyone and tug on Emmett's arm, "Well it was nice seeing you all but we've got to be heading out. See you tomorrow at school!"
Everyone waves back as a group and I scurry away with Emmett in tow. We clear the park and I shudder, "Well that was embarrassing."
Emmett chuckles and tosses me over his shoulder again heading towards the woods. Within a couple of minutes we burst into the Cullen's backyard and Emmett hauls me all the way up into the house.
Jasper and Edward look up from a game of cards and their expressions are identical mirrors of mystification.
I wobble when I'm placed back onto the ground and smile pleasantly in an effort to distract them. "Emmett and I had a wonderful time."
Edward is entirely focused on Emmett and as time goes on his face turns from puzzlement to horror. "And you consider a police chase while wearing a sumo wresting suit a good time?"
I roll my eyes, "You should have thought that through before you let me leave the house with your brother then shouldn't you of."
Jasper cocks his head to the side, "Personally I enjoy Bella's loin cloth, it looks very spacious."
Alice skips into the kitchen her eyes narrowed on Jasper, "You're lucky I knew she was wearing a sumo suit or you would be very sorry."
Edward finally turns back to his card game and everyone silently watches them.
That is until a very bewildered Esme wanders into the kitchen. "Emmett, why is your Jeep on the television for a reward concerning a high speed police pursuit?"
Emmett and I look at each other then back to Esme as Alice begins to explain and then Emmett slides out of the room. I look around frantically "Well, while Alice tells you that boring story I'll go upstairs to change, Edward?"
Hurriedly I scramble out of the kitchen and Edward joins me seconds later scrutinizing me for an injury. "Really I'm fine, can I use your shower though?"
As he's about to say yes he suddenly stops a smirk growing on his perfect face, "How the tables have turned."
I frown, "What do you mean?"
He pokes my fat suit, "It seems I'm not the one with the weight problems now. What, did you eat all the police officers who were trying to arrest you?"
I ignore his teasing and push past him to get to the bathroom. This is one of those times I remember why I try to avoid terribly embarrassing situations.
I have a family of vampires who can mock me for all eternity.
Right as I reach his door I turn around to face Edward, "Laugh all you want, you still don't know what your birthday present is."
This promptly shuts him up and I laugh quietly as I race to the bathroom. When Jasper and I go shopping we'll have to spend more time trying to throw off Edward than actually finding a bed.
I'm up for it though; this criminal streak I'm on has me feeling rather daring. Either way I have a feeling that this shopping trip is going to eventful whether I want it to be or not.
A/N: Again I'm sorry this took such a long time to update and it may seem like I'm lying through my teeth but your reviews are my sole motivators. I'm just really slow, heh. So review if you'd like and I'm already working on the next chapter to try and avoid this delayed update from happening...again.