A/N: I'm going to keep this brief so you can get to the reading. This is the last chapter, I'm feeling quite accomplished. The Update? We all know I have severe problems with that so I apologize again as I have every other time. And lastly the reviews! You all are so nice to me, I can't thank you enough so here you go, the final installment, enjoy!

The Twenty Eighth Wedding Reception

My parched throat is the reason I wake up and throw my legs over the bed to go get a glass of water.

It's only after I stumble forward and walk straight into the wall that I realize I'm not in my room. After a moment or two of touching the wall and confirming for sure that this is definitely not my wall I rub my forehead and look around bewildered.

A musical voice comes back from the bed, "Bella, while I am capable of many logic defying feats walking through walls is not one of them. I don't mean to burst your bubble but if it's impossible for me, it's most likely impossible for you."

I twirl around to stare at Edward as he smiles at me from his sprawled position across his new bed.

Suddenly I remember that I spent the night at the Cullen's and scramble to look at the clock. It's only one thirty in the morning, I've been asleep for a couple of hours.

Edward gets up and guides me over to the bed. As I climb under the covers I forget what I got up for until I swallow and the dry scratchiness reminds me, ever so kindly.

"Water", I croak out pointing feebly towards my throat.

Finally realizing why I was ambling about in the early morning hours Edward gives me a kiss on the forehead, "I'll go get you some, you only had to ask."

I mumble something under my breath unintelligibly, still in a stupor and try to discern him from the shadowy wall.

Right as he's about to walk through the door he pauses and looks back to me, "I would like to tell you shouldn't be worried if I'm not back in five minutes, but that would be a blatant lie. So I'm not quite sure if I will be able to make it back, the only piece of advice I give you is to go back to sleep. Rose is considering sunrise your wake up time today."

He opens the door and I hear it close instantaneously then the covers fly up as someone dives beneath.

Ok, I'm fully aware Edward is unnaturally fast but I don't think that him returning this quickly is possible. "Edward?"

Nobody responds but the mystery guest buries themselves deeper into the covers. "Edward, is that you?"

By now I'm pretty sure that it isn't Edward, using my excellent deductive skills. So doing the only thing I can do, I wrench the covers up to see who in cowering in bed with me.

The yelp of surprise is on my lips as I see who is hiding in the bed but his cold hand whips out and muffles my cry.

Urgently he whispers, "Please keep quiet Bella, I don't want her to find me."

I stare open mouthed at none other than the highly praised, supposed father of my "boyfriend", Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

I've seen many emotions on Carlisle's face but I can guarantee his expression of terror is one I have never seen before. Leaning forward he tugs me down into a lying position and throws the covers back over his head, "I barely managed to escape."

Remembering the time I give him a dubious look, "You've only been at it for a few hours."

His eyes seem to bulge, "Only? Only? Do you realize what she's made us do? Edward probably won't be back until noon, if he's lucky."

I try to give him a sympathetic look then the reality of the situation hits me. Why does the world hate me?

Now I've been in bed with three fourths of the Cullen men.

If I stop to think about, since it's not something I've often done, I would have to say the order in which I've been in a bed with the Cullen's is rather strange.

Obviously Edward was first but from then on I would have never thought it possible I would be in a bed with Carlisle before Emmett.

See, Emmett's the type of character that I would tell him to get in the bed with me and he'd jump in giving no second thoughts to the oddity of the situation.

If I said the same thing to Carlisle however, much embarrassment and humiliation would follow.

I sigh and rub my eyes when the door flies open, yet again. I wait for something else to happen but after a moment nothing does. Motioning towards the covers I cock an eyebrow at Carlisle.

He warily squints at the sheets as if they'll tell him who it is.

What are we even doing? I'll just take a quick glance to see who it is. Tugging the covers down I'm met with Rosalie's furious glower only inches from my face.

I shriek and burrow back under the covers as I give Carlisle an apologetic wince.

Rose throws the fool proof protection, also known as thin cloth, off of the two of us and after shooting an acidic look to Carlisle drags me downstairs. Mind you I'm still in the dress from yesterday and look as if I was mauled by a herd of wildebeests.

I'm led to a semi-circle formed around Jasper and Edward who are looking none too comfortable.

"Did you know?" Rose asks whirling on me.

I look around at everyone in confusion, "About what?"

Alice's unblinking gaze rests on me for a long minute then she turns to Rose, "She has no clue."

At this Rose turns her fierce glare back to the two vampires herded in the middle. Afraid I might be hurled through the wall for speaking I venture timidly, "Er...what's going on?"

Clenching her fists tightly Rose gives me a horrific smile, "Well it appears that at some point Jasper and Edward decided they did not like their wedding attire and they have disposed of it beyond recovery at the current moment."

The way Rose is convulsing while trying to take a calm breath makes me think Edward forgot one rather important thing.

When he listed off possible ways for a vampire to be killed he clearly missed the memo that stealing clothing for Rosalie made you as prime a target for death as pissing of the Volturi.

I stare incredulously at Edward's angelic disposition, "Have you lost your mind?" You'd think being over one hundred years old would make him wiser, apparently this is not the case.

Emmett looks between his wife and his brothers torn on whether or not he should be congratulating or scolding them.

He settles with a disapproving glare but when Rose turns her back he gives them a huge grin and a thumbs up.

Rose manages to get her temper under control for the moment, I can tell by the way her nostrils are no longer flaring. "Bella, since you're awake and Carlisle since you seem to want some bonding time with Bella; you two may go scour this town, this state, this country for their frock coats and top hats."

Strangely enough Carlisle looks relieved by this mission. Perhaps he's forgotten the only thing we have to go on is the missing items.

I glance at Alice to see if she has any helpful leads and she motions me over, "They hired someone to hide them so they honestly have no clue where they are. If I get anything else I'll call you."

We slide past Esme who's organizing the geraniums and Carlisle let's me buckle my seat belt before high tailing it out of the garage.

As I glance at the window I realize that it's pitch black, far too early to be sent on a quest for wedding attire. Plus, how are we going to talk to anybody at this hour?

They'd most likely slam the door in our face or call the Police. Shudder.

Neither of us says a word as the car zooms silently down the completely deserted road. Only once Carlisle's manic smile fades into content happiness at finally escaping Rose's bridezilla demeanor does he start to slow down.

I wrinkle my nose, "So first off we need to figure out who they would get to hide their things for them."

Carlisle looks at me speculatively, "I agree. Now let's think of it from their viewpoint. Perhaps a little role playing might help?"

We fall into another silent stretch as I try to figure out if he's serious or not. Carlisle is really into alternative learning methods, role playing being his favorite.

It's mostly when I'm studying by the Cullen's; he always intervenes with his "helpful" knowledge enhancing ideas.

When I was learning about United States expansionism he made a monopoly board with all the territories and even the game pieces were the correct historical figures.

Sighing I answer him grudgingly, "Alright then."

His answering smile is blinding, "So, I think I can pull off Jasper due to the hair, what do you think?"

Ok if we're going off looks what am I going to be? A tree? I don't really resemble any of the Cullen's.

Pointing to my face I ask calmly, "Carlisle, how do I look like Edward?"

He frowns for a moment after realizing that in fact I do not resemble Edward with my dark hair and eyes. "Well... you're pale. So is Edward, you're perfect for the part."

I decide not to point out the obvious fact that all of them are pale.

He doesn't bother looking at me for a response as we continue down the main roads, "I despise top hats, don't you Edward."

I answer him with an eye roll but he nudges me in the ribs for a better reply, "Why yes, Jasper, I do despise top hats."

Carlisle nods understandingly, "So since both of us have a great dislike for our wedding clothes let's hide them!"

I try to get into character and throw in one of Edward's proper phrasings, "I agree most wholeheartedly."

Carlisle blanches at me, "Perhaps it would have been a better idea for me to be Edward."

I shoot him an icy look as I cross my arms, "Maybe you should have but that doesn't matter. We're only repeating what we already know."

With a groan I slam my head onto the dashboard only to look up seconds after as Carlisle points to something in the distance. He speeds up and then parks pulling me alongside him as we trample our way down a wooded path.

I can see the vague outline of what looks like running water in front of me.

I seriously do not understand this fixation the Cullen's have with bodies of water, really I don't. "Carlisle, now is not exactly the time for a swim."

He shakes his head at me, "We're not going swimming, there's a fisherman down here and I want to question him."

My eyes widen as I see the random man sitting on a folding chair with his fishing pole, "You want to go up to some person who happens to be up at the same time we are and interrogate him?"

Carlisle continues towards the man, "Well how do we know they weren't just driving and got some random person to do it for them? We don't. I think we should investigate all the possible options."

The man pushes back his hat watching us suspiciously as we come up to him. I suppose he's afraid we're going to steal his prime spot.

Carlisle gives him an easy smile and instantly the man's mistrust falls away, "Hello there, I was just wondering if you have had two teenaged boys come up to you and ask you to hide their clothing for them? They might have possibly offered you monetary compensation?"

In response to this everyday question he looks from Carlisle to me in disbelief, "No. I haven't, now if you'll excuse me."

He turns his back to us and as he hunches over I think I might see the glint of a cell phone.

Quickly I grab Carlisle's arm, "Alright, sorry for bothering you, we're leaving now."

Carlisle looks disappointed but I jump in the car before he can say a word. Once we are safely inside however he lets me have it, "Bella, I really think we were getting somewhere with that."

I nod along with him, "Yeah, I thought we were too, and that somewhere would be jail. He thought we were lunatics!"

He sighs heavily not admitting I'm right but wanting to drop the topic. I pick up my phone and start dialing.

Carlisle's head whips to me, "I hope you're not calling Alice, Rose will murder you, literally."

Rolling my eyes I continue dialing, "Thanks, I do realize that but someone else can give us the information too."

If I'm right and I'm pretty sure I can't be wrong about something like this, Rose is focused on absolute perfection.

Naturally that means Emmett must be as far away as possible from everything important.

Emmett merrily answers his phone, "Hello?"

Carlisle relaxes once he hears who I've called, "Hey Emmett, it's me." There's a pause and I frown, "Emmett?"

Finally he responds sounding befuddled, "I'm sorry, who is this? I don't know anyone named me. Is it an abbreviation? A nickname?"

I sigh in exasperation and glower at Carlisle. He shrugs to me helplessly, "All I can do is apologize on his behalf, once again."

Emmett heard that one and huffs, "Hey, that's offensive! Now what can I do you for Bells?"

I make sure I'm facing away from Carlisle as I begin to talk, "Well I was just wondering if Alice has anything else to tell us."

Emmett begins to chuckle knowingly, "You role played didn't you."

Trying to fight back the grimace upon mentioning role playing I ignore his jibe, "Emmett, please, do you know anything?"

He adopts a more serious tone, "No, not as of now. Are you having any luck?"

I survey the dark sky and completely bare road around us, "Uh, not really. We ran into a fisherman and asked him a few questions but he thought we were escapists from a mental institution, no offense to Alice."

It's almost like I can feel Emmett smirking through the phone, "Well at least it's a start. I'd suggest some other game like 'Make a profile of the perfect person we're looking for' to get out of role playing. By the way who were you?"

My eyes widen as I take in Emmett's words. It's so obvious now that I didn't even realize it, "Emmett!"

He interrupts before I can continue, "Why was I in the role play?"

I snort at him, "I was Edward, not you, but Emmett that's a great idea! You're a genius!"

Carlisle looks at me skeptically, "Let's not go overboard now Bella."

Emmett however sighs in a bored way, "I heard that too and Bella it's nice to know that somebody finally can appreciate my genius. It's a precious thing that's been cultivated over time and not everyone can understand how brilliant I am."

I'm waving my hands around in a frantic way and hurriedly say goodbye and hang up the phone. Carlisle seems to be in a brighter disposition as well, "Alright let's start this profile shall we?"

I nod and list off the first most identifying characteristic, "Male or female?"

Carlisle's expression leads me to imagine the light bulb suddenly lighting up above his head, "Of course! I didn't even think about that! It all makes sense now; all we have to do is..."

He trials off and I stare at him expectantly. "It's a female, and one who they've already had a lot of sway over but not a lot of communication with."

I stare at him wordlessly, how he managed to come up with all of that from my just saying male or female I have no idea. I frown as I take into account his requirements.

Who is a female that both Edward and Jasper already know, that they don't spend a lot of time with but obviously can dazzle and isn't an obvious suspect for us? As of now I can't think of anyone.

Honestly the only person I can think of that Edward has dazzled multiple times, besides me, and of the human category is poor Ms. Cope.

I gasp and my eyes widen, "They didn't! Carlisle, I know who they went to!" Carlisle looks mildly skeptical but let's me continue on my epiphany, "They went to Ms. Cope!"

He frowns for a half a second then looks at me in awe, "I think you're right."

Slowly he pulls to the side of the road, again, and looks at me inquisitively, "So now, would she hide the items at her house or at the school?"

I ponder this new question silently. If I was a red headed middle aged woman completely captivated by two under aged gods where would I keep their strange clothes?

Ms. Cope probably figures nobody in their right mind would even want to break into the school and honestly why would anyone? "I'd say the school. Wouldn't you find a public building safer than your own home and less expected?"

Carlisle seems elated that we managed to figure out the unsolvable mystery and makes haste to get us near the school.

Once the car is carefully hidden in the nearby woods he turns to me, "Bella, would you get the panty hose please?"

I stare at him as if he's completely lost his mind and repeat his words vacantly, "The panty hose?"

Carlisle looks at my expression oddly, "You mean you don't know about Edward's panty hose?"

This has me choking on my own saliva, "Pardon?"

Unless I've been walking around with a blindfold I'm pretty sure I've seen neither Carlisle nor Edward ever wear panty hose.

Carlisle sighs and leans over me to open the glove compartment "Let me explain. A couple of decades ago an incident came up where Alice really needed a nice pair of panty hose. Since then she's made everyone keep a pair in their glove compartment, you've probably never looked in Edward's though."

He holds up the package of dark tights and rips it open then carefully tears the material into two even sections. Tossing one to me he pulls the other over his head and I can't help but snort.

It's like a low budget action movie. "We're going to look even more suspicious."

But Carlisle is already opening my door for me, "Yes, but at least no one will be able to recognize us."

I tug my own piece of fabric over my head and snicker at my reflection, "Who do you really think is going to be in the main school office on a Sunday at two thirty in the morning?"

He answers me with a stern look and I stop antagonizing him. I realize how comical this is as Carlisle expertly unlocks the door and slips into the building, one of the towns most coveted members is breaking and entering.

I quietly follow him and shut the door tightly behind me locking it again to make sure everything is exactly as it was before we came in. Stumbling blindly forward I try to figure out where he went but there's no need as he grabs my hand and leads me over to the front desk.

After scanning the room he looks back to me with a hopeful expression and I know exactly what he's thinking.

And let me tell you, I don't enjoy the direction of his thoughts because yet again it involves role playing.

It should be a criminal offense how the Cullen's manipulate me into feeling so guilty. And his face is even covered in a ripped piece of panty hose.

Carlisle's broken expression causes me to sigh painfully, "Alright, we can role play."

He smiles brightly and I roll my eyes, "So who am I now?"

Carlisle pauses for a second, "Well you can be Ms. Cope since both of you are in love with Edward."

A slightly disgusted look crosses my face and I shudder at what Edward must have to suffer through from the woman's thoughts. "So who will you be then?"

After another moment of peering around he declares, "I'll be the nurse!"

I do try; I really try not to burst out laughing. It's just when I look at Carlisle and think of the elderly woman who's normally here as the nurse I can't help it.

I shake my head, we have to get going or end up victims to Rosalie's temper.

"So there my medically educated friend, I Ms. Cope am amazed that those two irresistible Cullen boys came here and asked me to hide their odd clothes."

Carlisle seems impressed with my performance, "Why yes, I couldn't agree more. What ever are you going to do with those clothes?"

I can't help but goof off just a little bit, "I'll get back to you on that. I can't stop dreaming about that tempting jailbait known as Edward Cullen fathering my children."

I've pretty much pushed Carlisle's envelope to its bursting point. He breaks into startled laughter, shaking his head at me, "Well, Ms. Cope I didn't realize your feelings were so strong."

As I giggle at Carlisle who is trying to regain his composure I get the same feeling of revelation I felt in the car.

What if this really happened? Not discussing Ms. Cope's desire to ravish Edward, I hope for everyone's sake that's just me being ridiculous, but talking with the nurse.

Walking past Carlisle I hurry into the tiny room that I had gone in after the proclaimed Biology Incident and lift the mattress up. Of course I can actually only get the mattress raised several inches so Carlisle comes in and lifts it for me.

The frock coats are lying, still in their garment bags, between the mattress and box spring.

My eyes light up and I glance around to see where the top hats would be, there's a tiny refrigerator by the desks and I pull it open to see the top hats, misting slightly from the temperature but otherwise unharmed.

Carlisle looks positively giddy as he perches a top hat on his head and the other jauntily on me. "That was brilliant Bella, Rose will be extremely pleased and that means hopefully not as er...forceful."

I smile happily as I take the arm Carlisle offers me and we start to walk out of the building. What nobody was expecting was the arrival Ms. Cope.

All three of us freeze in our tracks and stare at one another, naturally though Ms. Cope can only see two people who look like robbers. I can see the mixture of incredulity that someone actually came to steal the items she was supposed to hide and the fear she's emanating at our presence.

The scene breaks into motion once again as Ms. Cope shrieks and dives for the phone.

Before she can even touch it Carlisle unplugs the cord and tosses me over his shoulder as he flees the premises. Once we're both in the car with our finds still in tact we quickly leave the school and return to the Cullen's.

By now it's three in the morning and I'm feeling quite productive.

Carlisle and I quickly walk into the house and when Jasper sees us holding the wedding clothes his jaw drops in disbelief, "No! There is no way you could have..."

Carlisle smirks at his chagrin, "Well really it was all thanks to Ms. Cope's desire to have Edward's children that lead us to them."

Edward walks in with an alarmed expression, "Who wants to rape me?"

I wink at him from behind Carlisle and Jasper lets out a bark of laughter but cuts off abruptly upon Rose's entrance.

The smile that appears on Rosalie's face is so stunning beautiful I can only gawk at her, "You found them!" She takes the clothing from us and leaves right after glaring at Edward and Jasper.

Edward sighs and looks at Jasper woefully, "Well it was worth a shot."

Jasper nods in agreement, "We did all we could."

I roll my eyes at their response to such fury, they're only lucky Rosalie loves them. Carlisle squeezes past me, "I'm going to go help Esme with the geraniums."

I rub my eyes tiredly; the exhaustion of only a couple of hours of sleep is finally catching up with me. "Do you think I could sleep for a little while before I'm forced into enslavement for the reception?"

Edward's eyes are immediately on me, "Of course! She won't want you passing out in your baked potatoes." He sweeps me up into his arms and carries me back to his room and under the covers.

I refuse to let go of him as he tries to pull away and let me sleep, chuckling he lies down with me as well. "Rose won't be too happy with me."

Through half lidded eyes I attempt to give him a critical look, "She's already not happy with you."

I drift off almost immediately and manage to get a few hours of sleep in, enough where I won't pass out, before Rose comes and wakes me up a second time. I can see the sun beginning to rise out the window and yawn loudly as I'm heaved to my feet.

I pull away from her warily once I realize what's happening today and how she can rightfully go 'all out' but she smiles reassuringly, "Oh come on Bella, I just want to show you the flowers."

It's only after I'm bound and gagged to a chair in Rosalie's bathroom with a copious amount of expensive and complicated belts that it occurs to me where I went wrong.

There's no way I should have trusted how calm she sounded, only hours before hand she was ready to chop off the head of anyone who got in her way. Plus I was the one that went flower shopping, why would I have needed to see them.

How lame am I?

I was only bound before but I tried to bite Rose in a feeble attempt to escape and they decided to take the necessary precautions to render me completely immobile.

So really the only thing I am in control of moving at the moment is my eyes.

Alice stands in front of me and cocks her head to the side, "Alright we're going to give you the list of what we're going to do to you. You have no choice in the matter whatsoever and if you cause grief we'll tell Charlie that it was you and not a technical glitch that taped over his game with a cooking show." I attempt to glower at them but all I can manage is narrowing my eyes.

I normally didn't watch much television and if it had been anything else but a cooking show I could have asked for Edward's help. I had done it when Edward had developed his expertise in the kitchen and I was feeling extremely worthless.

I watched a four hour cooking show about the different ways to prepare fish and somehow it ended up being recorded, over one of Charlie's games.

They were stooping pretty low.

Alice smiles at me brightly and continues talking, "You're going to shower and use all of the products we give to you. After that you will have your hair and make up done. Once that is complete you will put on your outfit, accessories and shoes. Understand?"

A puzzled expression crosses my face as to what time this thing starts if they're already getting me ready at sun rise.

Alice frowns at my gag, "I'll take that off if you promise not to bite. We all make quite the effort to not bite you and I think it's only fair you return the favor. Unless of course Edward likes you biting him but that's a whole other matter I don't want to get into. So blink rapidly three times if you promise to behave."

I know I don't actually have a choice here so I blink rapidly three times. Translation; I handed over the last shreds of my free will to Alice and Rosalie.

I'd like to say I did all I could but in reality I waltzed right into their hands so I really didn't. And I am far beyond the point of insanity to use that as an excuse.

I keep my word though, or blinks rather as I'm put through an alarmingly vigorous process to achieve my top potential as a bridesmaid, at least that's how Rose explains it.

In the shower I use all of the strange bottles of products they shove in for me, even the one what when I spilt a bit it started eroding the wall.

It wasn't intense dedication that brought this on, I was that terrified of what would happen if I objected.

Two hours later I emerge from Rose's bathroom looking like well, a whore from the Victorian era. It's not bad though, the corset of course is cutting off a good deal of decent oxygen intake but the dress is beautiful.

Plus, no blue eye shadow, I have a smoky eyed thing going on.

I stumble from the room with my arms out in front of me pretending to try and grasp the sunlight, "The sun! I haven't seen the sun in years."

Alice chuckles beside me, fully dressed as I am but looking far more stunning, naturally. And let me once again mention how much easier this corset would be to wear if I didn't actually have to breathe.

As we make our way down the stairs I can't help but gape at the house. I hadn't notice what it looked like this morning.

Never in my life did I ever think the mansion could be more perfect than it already was, I have been proven wrong. The geraniums are in little bunches along all the walls with airy streamers in some silvery material are hanging everywhere.

Alice takes my hand and leads me outside, "If you thought that looked nice come look at this."

I halt in my place as I take in the Cullen's backyard. A massive gazebo is smack dab in the middle of everything and there are towering light posts stationed everywhere.

It's like a fairy tale come true, too bad it needs to be nightfall to fully take effect.

I grin at Alice, "I approve, I can't even form words to say how amazing everything looks."

Suddenly a blur darts behind Alice and after much experience with these occurrences I can recognize it as Jasper.

I tilt my head to the side not really having to peer over her shoulder; it's still so strange for me, someone being significantly shorter than I am. "Jasper?"

He tries to cower behind her still and it reminds me of how I attempted to hide behind Emmett in the sumo suit. Needless to say, it's not working well. "Jasper, I know it's you, why are you trying to hide?"

Alice snickers at his expense and leaps gracefully on my other side exposing him to my view. He's wearing the frock coat and top hat but I hadn't realized the pants they would be wearing were so...tight.

He shifts uncomfortably and I giggle along with Alice unable to help myself. "Jasper, you look very handsome."

I throw it in to appease him because no matter how ridiculous he does look it doesn't change the fact that he's still undeniably attractive.

I expect him to glower at me but he lifts an eyebrow, "My, my, you little wench, did you just try and seduce me?"

Alice is no longer giggling; she's in all out hysterics at my expression of utter bewilderment. That's when it hits me; I forgot I was dressed like a whore. Even coming to that realization makes me cringe.

I never thought I would willingly allow myself to be dolled up as a prostitute. Well anything can happen while at the Cullen's.

I sigh in mock heaviness, "Was it that obvious? I'll have to be a little less conspicuous when I try to snag the groom then won't I?"

Edward's soft voice is suddenly right behind me, "Well, I see what happens to Bella when everyone starts wearing top hats."

I whirl around and gasp so sharply I'm surprised my lungs don't burst. Edward looks so perfect I can barely stand to look at him. And again, those pants, I must say I approve.

He smirks at my expression and walks forward to gently kiss my extremely exposed neck. "Have I mentioned yet how enticing you look?"

Alice quickly tugs me away from him as I my breathing rate nears the level of someone having an asthma attack. "Edward, she already forgets to breath in your presence and now she's wearing a corset. You've got to be a little more careful unless you want her to appear narcoleptic."

I look at Alice startled, I never thought of that before, "Alice that's brilliant. I can use that; it's much less humiliating than the truth."

Edward however rolls his eyes at me, "Oh yes, and how will you explain your conditional narcolepsy only happens near me?"

I wave a hand dismissively at him when Esme appears beside us, "Carlisle and Emmett are on their way down and Rose will be here soon after."

Everybody seems to understand what will be happening next but I stare around waiting for an explanation. Apparently they don't think it's necessary since nobody gives one.

I'm about to start complaining but Emmett's appearance pretty much throws me off any train of thought.

He darts his eyes around challenging anyone to say a word. The frock coat does fit him but it looks funnier on him than on anyone else.

His muscles are still visible underneath and the coat seems to be stretching to fit him. Carlisle steps from behind him, while smirking; to Esme's other side and I can't help but notice everyone manages to pull of this style in a much more distinguished manner than I.

Emmett grumbles under his breath about his pants then snorts as he looks at Edward, "Is this the kind of stuff you wore back in the day?"

Esme quickly intervenes to ward off an argument, "Come now don't be silly. Edward only wore dresses on special occasions."

Edward exhales loudly and turns away from Emmett as he chuckles at his expense. He gauges my features carefully, "Now you're sure you're ready for this?"

As if I have a choice.

Plus there was no blue eye shadow so I have to be fair and put on my game face. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Right on cue soft music begins playing across the lawn and Rose emerges from the house.

Honestly I don't think it's even feasible for someone to look as beautiful as she does. The dress is surprisingly simple but it only serves to enhance her unearthly perfection.

She glides her way to stand beside Emmett and gives us all a dazzling smile.

He smiles down on her and looks back to us, "Let the twenty eighth wedding reception begin, who's up for some limbo?"

After Emmett claims he had been joking, for now, the rest of the reception gets on its way. I thought that after a while I would most likely start to get bored but I didn't. That's saying something for the company I'm with, they're an entertaining lot.

I can't help but stare up in disbelief at the sky, the sun has just set and I feel like we've only begun.

Perhaps the bathroom ambush affected me more than I realized.

As darkness falls on our festivities Emmett leaps to his feet with a wicked glint in his eyes. "My dear wife of many years, I know this reception in particular is very special for you because we are graced with the presence of Edward's one true love. It's about time; we all were beginning to question his sexuality."

Edward growls and I pat him on the shoulder in an appeasing gesture, "Don't worry, the first time I saw you I thought you exuded an aura of great manliness."

I'll just cut out the part where I compared his beauty to Rosalie's. He'll most likely take that as an insult considering Rose's features are quite feminine.

Emmett's rambunctious laughter echoes across the yard. "Aura of manliness, ah, right. Back to the point, I decided to do something a little extra for you Rose."

All eyes curiously watch as Emmett vanishes from sight then reappears, loaded down with a vast array of fireworks. I wince at the sight of them.

These aren't fun little sparklers like Charlie used to bring me from the hardware store. These things are the real deal, actual explosives that have the capability to light the town on fire.

Rose's expression is mingled between appreciation and fear at what might go wrong, "Emmett, it's really nice of you to put this much effort in but I don't know if this is such a good idea."

He answers her as he's sets up a launching pad, "Relax! It'll be fine, our own personal show."

Thankfully he sets up a smaller one first. I hold my breath as he brings the flame down; the fuse ignites and shoots up above our heads exploding into a spectacular demonstration of colors.

Everyone breathes a little easier seeing how Emmett didn't demolish anything, yet.

As he goes through all the minor rockets he has, I find myself relaxing instead of tensing every time one goes off.

Perhaps this should have tipped me off, when one begins to trust Emmett when he's got dynamite in his hands you know something bad is going to happen.

After inspecting his remaining pile he wiggles his eyebrows ominously, "Alright who's ready for the real ones?"

Everything seems to go in slow motion as Emmett lines up a firecracker the size of a small animal. One minute everything is perfectly fine, it ignites and shoots up, the next minute we're not so lucky.

Apparently these "real" ones like to go where they want and not we're they're supposed to.

Unable to look away we all watch in fixated horror as the rocket collides with the four tiered wedding cake and ricochets into another course.

The only one quick enough to avoid being smattered with the cake is Rose who uses Emmett as a shield to stay clean. As for the rest of us, we don't fare as well as her.

I can see the stunned expressions on all their faces, not even Alice saw this coming. It happened so unexpectedly that from head to toe we're all covered in chocolate cake with crème frosting.

Tentatively I swipe a decorative iced flower off of Edward's cheek and sample it, "Hm, good cake."

Nobody utters a word and the phrase "calm before the storm" comes to mind. The murderous sparkle in everyone's eyes as they stare down Emmett makes me very relieved to not be him at the moment.

Alice breaks the silence by heaving a deep breath to begin her rant, "Emmett McCarty Cullen, do you realize how much time it took us to design that cake? Do you?"

I avert my gaze from Emmett's sheepish face feeling guilty that I'm really the inadvertent cause of this. It's when I do so that I notice the firecracker never actually fizzled out, it's still going strong.

Right on it's path to the Cullen's house.

A small squeak escapes and I try to get someone's attention, in any normal occasion this wouldn't be difficult, Edward is usually quite perceptive.

But at the current time everyone is engaged in telling Emmett off for ruining the cake.

"Four days Emmett! Four! Just to figure out the exact shade of violet we needed for the petals!"

"Specially ordered frock coats! Do you think they make them this size in the store?"

"Bella didn't even get to eat any!"

"Forget about that, what if it hit her?"

"My top hat smells vaguely like a bakery."

"This crème frosting makes it look like we're all graying."

All of this is being shouted simultaneously at a speed I shouldn't be able to comprehend but I've been around them long enough to get the gist of the conversation.

I tug on Edward's sleeve urgently to tell him about the impending doom upon the mansion. He doesn't even realize I'm trying to get his attention.

I start panicking as the rocket gets even closer to the roof, "Hello? Uh, there's a slight problem. Anyone? Would somebody listen to me?"

I consider pretending to faint to get their notice but the way things are going I'll just end up with a head ache and grass stains on my dress. Quickly I flit my eyes to where the rogue firecracker was last and wince as it combusts on the very top of the Cullen household.

The thunderous echo of the impact causes the Cullen's to finally acknowledge what I had been trying to warn them about. But the stick of dynamite isn't quite done yet, as its last act it lands at my feet and lights the hem of my dress as well.

It figures that Emmett got some sort of kamikaze fireworks.

I yelp and try to stamp the fire out but it's already spreading up to my calves.

Surprisingly it isn't Edward the Overprotective who quickly diminishes the fire, but Jasper who all out tackles me to the ground. Of course not so violently that I'm harmed but enough that it ignites the sleeve of his frock coat.

Once my dress is merely smoking he holds his arm up triumphantly watching the fire lick away at the material.

Carlisle tosses a handful of water from my dinner earlier at his wrist to put it out but Jasper still keeps smiling widely. "Hah Edward, look at that. Not only do I have food all over it but do you see this, it's definitely singed beyond repair."

Edward shoots him a sour glare and helps me to my feet carefully inspecting for any damage. I reassure him I'm alright and then recall something had been terribly wrong besides me becoming a human roast.

Esme's hysterical shriek of "Save my house!" reminds me what that problem was.

Instantly Emmett and Carlisle vanish from sight and when I look up at the roof I see them with a bucket of water. Emmett tries to blow out the fire but it's gotten to such a state that this only makes it worse.

Moaning into her hands Esme rocks back and forth staring fearfully at the house as the fire is spread by Emmett's aid.

Alice whistles shrilly commanding immediate attention as she gives out her orders, "Emmett, get off the roof and take Bella to Edward's room it's the furthest from the fire. Carlisle, Jasper and Edward can you handle this?"

They all nod in succession and she turns to inspect Esme hyperventilating, "Alright; Esme, Rose and I will go wait in Edward's room too then."

Emmett sullenly guides me to Edward's room and I take a last glance at the flaming rooftop. I throw myself onto the bed the minute I walk in not even caring about the cake and frosting that will undoubtedly be transferred to the comforter.

Emmett sinks down beside me and covers his face with his hands while sighing deeply. I roll onto my side and give him a half hug feeling kind of strange since I'm on a bed and hugging someone besides Edward.

Oh, no. I'm in a bed with Emmett. He was the last one. This means...gah!

Its official, I've been in bed with all the Cullen men.

I restrain myself from quickly jumping away from Emmett and slamming my head into something.

Rose perches on the edge of the bed and soothingly pats Emmett on the head, "It's not that bad Emmett. You definitely made this a... er...memorable occasion. The effort is really what counts love."

Esme has finally stopped shuddering and gives him a reassuring smile, "Really Emmett, its fine. You'll be repairing the roof of course but there's no lasting damage."

At this point everyone looks pointedly to Alice who is sitting in the corner with her arms folded over her chest in defiance. Esme mouths something to her and Alice furiously shakes her head trying to look away from our disapproving gazes.

Emmett pulls himself up into a sitting position and watches her pathetically, "Alice, you're going to hate me forever aren't you?"

It's nice to see someone besides me getting guilt tripped into submission. Alice's eyes widen and she grumbles under her breath in irritation, "Oh fine. You're forgiven, I won't hold a grudge. I promise."

Emmett's depressed facade slips away immediately as he grins delightedly at us. Before anyone can notice, namely Jasper who's been keeping an eye on me with the bed situation, I slide off the bed and take a seat beside Alice.

The door opens again and the rest of the Cullen's who were designated as honorary fire fighters file into the room.

Jasper holds up his arm where the sleeve had been singed to show us the material which is now destroyed up to his elbow. His eyes shine gleefully, "I knocked over the water bucket and my entire sleeve caught on fire."

Rose's glare causes him to shrug unwillingly, "Whoops."

Edward sidles around him bitterly, quite upset that no lasting damage occurred to his attire.

After waiting an amount of time that wouldn't be considered obsessive Esme tries to nonchalantly ask about the condition of her house, "So did anyone notice you on the roof?"

Nobody's actually stated the fact that the house is no longer in danger but I think it has more to do with the fact that none of them would dare come and chat if the house was on fire.

Esme would hunt them down before they could even form an escape route.

Edward shakes his head at her while smirking; no doubt she's still as hysterical in thought as she was earlier in action. "No Esme, some people saw the smoke but it didn't get high enough to alarm them and the roof is perfectly fine, we already repaired it."

She takes this coolly enough and nods but I see her hands unclench in relief despite her attempt to hide them.

Emmett sighs loudly, again, "Maybe I should have shot off the fireworks after the presents just in case something happened."

Rose presses her lips into a firm line to stop the swift remark that she's, pardon the pun, dying to say. Alice swiftly cuts in, "Well it's a little late for that, we'll just have to think of some other place to open them."

My eyebrows furrow, what's wrong with the house? The roof was the only thing on fire, and even that's perfectly in tact now. "Why can't we just open them here?"

Alice turns to me in exasperation, "Don't you smell something Bella?"

Wrinkling my nose I do realize the house smells vaguely smoky, much worse than when Rose and I were cooking.

Which is quite odd really since there was a whole lot of smoke coming out of that oven; I suppose it's just amplified from coming through the ventilation.

She takes in account my expression, "Exactly, even you can smell it. Meaning it's quite near suffocating for us, so where are we going?"

They throw around a few ideas, such as the hospital which Edward hurriedly rejects, "There is no way I am going back to the hospital for a celebration. I was tortured enough the first time."

After everyone looks at each other stymied as to where they can go I offer up the rather obvious choice of my house. Emmett's eyes light up, he's never actually formally been introduced to Charlie.

That would be my doing, I can only imagine what type of behavior he'll put on for the Police Chief.

No doubt it will be er...I don't even want to think about it. Esme delightedly leaps to her feet grabbing every single one of the presents as she rushes down the stairs.

In a flash she's standing with us again, "I think we should carpool. I wouldn't want to frighten Charlie with multiple cars in your driveway. Is he even home?"

I try to remember what he told me when I informed him about the wedding reception. All I can think about is how I was internally panicking and ignoring every word coming out of his mouth.

A little dash of focus would have been nice. I shrug ruefully, "I'm not sure what he's doing."

Rose slinks past me, "Let's get going then." I blink in confusion as the room clears out at a rapid speed and Edward mutters something under his breath as he tosses me over his shoulder and dashes for the car.

We come to a stand still at the car door and he repositions me in front of his body as if daring anyone to try and harm me. Everyone's glowering faces make me realize what the race had been for.

We still can't take out Emmett's Jeep so we're all piling into Carlisle's car.

It'll be a tight fit; well I guess a little family togetherness never hurt anyone.

Seconds later I find myself taking those careless words back. Family togetherness can hurt someone, I know, believe me I know.

Just try and imagine the comfort level of sitting in a seat meant for at the most three people and then shoving Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Rosalie and myself into that seat.

A rational person might claim that to be impossible but somehow we've managed.

Carlisle is driving and Esme is in the passenger seat with Alice between them. Her size is really what saved her from the horrors of the back seat, she's the only one that could fit in that spot and still allow enough room for Carlisle to drive the car safely.

In the back it's Rose perched on Emmett's lap as I am on Edward's but Emmett's sheer volume is the real problem.

I'm practically holding my breath the whole time unable to have even the space to move my lungs at the capacity I need. Jasper kindly provides us with a calm atmosphere otherwise this trip would be literally unbearable.

Carlisle is leagues above the speed limit, understanding how uncomfortable this seating arrangement is only when I, the lover of speed limits everywhere demand that he put the pedal to the metal.

The minute the car rolls to a stop Edward and Jasper who had been closest to the doors throw them open and tumble out. I shriek involuntarily as I topple off of Edward's lap but of course his arms are wrapped around me and I'm barely even jostled by it.

Once everyone is out of the car and not only Esme is carrying the presents do I look at the driveway. "Well Esme, I don't think we needed to worry about multiple cars."

The driveway is full of three strange cars that I'm positive are not there on a regular basis. Edward pauses a minute to listen to what's going on inside, "Poker night, Charlie's hosting."

I roll my eyes at the way everyone looks as if we're going to have to leave. "Wait just a second; I'll go talk to him. There's no reason we can't go in, we can all just go to my room."

Before anyone can attempt to stop me from "inconveniencing" Charlie I run up to the door and unlock it.

Every face at the table full of my father's friends turns to look at me upon my entrance. I see Charlie's face eye my dress coated in cake curiously, "You're home awfully early Bella, how was the reception?"

I avoid the unfamiliar eyes as I answer him, "It was great but well there was a slight incident and Rose and Emmett never got to open their presents. So basically I offered up the house but I forgot about your poker game."

When I pause I can hear a faint argument that gets vastly louder as Emmett is suddenly beside me.

He pulls me against his side, lifting me several feet off the floor and bows his head to Charlie. "Police Chief Swan, fellow friends of the Police Chief. I'm Emmett Cullen and I'm terribly sorry about intruding. This is entirely my fault, I caused an accident involving the cake and we never got to open the presents. I didn't want to ruin this for my wife but I'm sorry we'll just leave."

Charlie's face is priceless; I can recall his initial reaction when he thought I was dating Emmett and the way he's eyeing him up now.

But of course there is no fighting the Cullen charm, "Oh, it's no trouble at all. You can come right in, is everyone outside?"

I nod and motion at the door which was left ajar for them to come in even though they clearly had been listening to the conversation. Rose glides in first and stands beside Emmett apologetically.

"Hello Police Chief Swan, I don't believe we've ever been properly introduced, I'm Rosalie Cullen, formerly Hale."

The expression of awe is most obvious on my father's face and I can't help but cringe. How embarrassing is it that your father is looking at your soon to be sister in that way?

Charlie is still stuttering out his response when Alice dances into the room balancing her present lithely on one palm, "Charlie!" The grin adorning her face is blinding.

Charlie smiles back broadly, "Hello, Alice." Jasper comes in after Alice shaking his head at something then inclines his head and murmurs softly, "Chief Swan."

My dad nods to him in return and then Carlisle and Esme come in. I feel as if I'm watching a parade as everyone troops inside. Pleasantries are exchanged and Esme is introduced to Charlie, I realize this means Charlie has met all of the Cullen's face to face now.

I already mentioned earlier why I wanted to prolong Emmett's meeting but with Esme and Rose, the only other two who hadn't their paths just never crossed.

Whenever Rose was always picking me up she would barely allow me to close the car door forget coming inside to meet my father.

And Esme doesn't leave the house much. Not like a basement dweller but why should she go out for no reason if she doesn't need to?

Edward comes in last quietly closing the door and asking if he should lock it, always the polite one. He stands at a respectful distance from me and I watch all the men at the table as their eyes dart between Charlie and Edward waiting to see what's going to happen next.

Edward smiles politely, "Thank you again Chief Swan for allowing us to use your house."

Charlie only grunts and I motion Edward to the stair case, "You all can head up to my room, I'll be there in a second."

With every step Edward takes closer to the staircase I realize my mistake.

He's never actually officially been in my room when Charlie's around anyways. My father's face gets increasingly redder and I can only imagine the thoughts racing through his head.

Edward reaches the foot of the stairs then turns to me asking innocently, "Which one is your room Bella?"

My breath rushes out in relief as Charlie's face regains its normal color and I point in the direction of my room. Emmett looks like he's about to smirk and I really would rather avoid that conversation with Charlie.

I wave them all up and turn back to Charlie. It's bad enough with Renee but Charlie?

Not even Renee knew all the details concerning Edward staying in my room, every night, and she still managed to mortify me beyond belief.

I stumble forward and give my father a quick hug, "Thanks Dad." He pats me on the head and then I shoot up the stairs to my room.

Once I'm inside I close the door tightly and take in the scene occurring in my bedroom.

Emmett and Rosalie are sitting cross legged on my bed and the rest of the Cullen's are sprawled in the available floor space of my room. I smile at them and then weave my way to where Edward is sitting; he pulls me down into his lap.

After I'm properly situated Emmett's gaze sweeps the room sizing up our gifts, "Okay, who's first?"

Alice squeals and jumps up shoving her gift into Emmett's hands before anyone else. We all watch as Emmett unwraps the gift to reveal a new set of limbo.

Everyone except Emmett glares at her darkly but she only smiles happily, "We're all going to have so much fun."

Jasper offers his gift next, a new gaming system from Japan not even released here yet. Then Esme, a very pretty dress Rose had been mooning over a month ago. Carlisle's gift is a thick stack of racing games that I'm sure I'll be forced into playing some time soon.

As Edward hand's his up I realize he never told me what he was getting them. When I asked what I should do he told me anything would be fine. As seeing this occurs once every few years it apparently isn't too big of a deal.

Rose pulls the paper of Edward's present and then she starts laughing. Emmett peers over her shoulder and chuckles as well. She holds it up for us all to see the cover embossed in silver writing, 'Number Twenty Eight'. It's a photo album.

Suddenly everything makes a lot more sense, at the reception I had been forced to hold still and smile multiple times for no apparent reason.

I guess pictures were being taken though, most likely Carlisle. It definitely clears things up, Alice just starting singing 'Freeze Frame' every time I tried to ask what we were doing.

Finally I'm the last one and I timidly hand my present up to them, it took me a hell of a lot longer than I ever would have expected. I painted Popsicle sticks then glued them together and at the bottom wrote out in tiny beads 'Emmett and Rose'.

In the middle is a picture of the two of them, Emmett is clutching Rose to his chest and her legs are flailing in the air but they're both smiling merrily and it's quite a cute picture. I even put a little hook on the top so they can put it up on the wall.

Rose stares at it wordlessly for a moment and traces her fingers over the beads, Emmett grabs it from her and smiles softly.

Before I realize what's happening I'm wrenched from Edward's lap and Emmett is playfully ruffling my hair, "Thanks Bells."

Rose looks like she's about to cry, if that's possible and throws her arms around my neck pulling me into a hug. She whispers quietly into my ear, "It's beautiful Bella."

I flush at the praise then of course ruin the moment my yawning loudly.

Edward smiles lightly and gets to his feet, "You should shower and get to bed, you were up pretty early this morning."

Emmett nudges Jasper and Edward once he's on his feet, "At least we won't have to worry about having Bella in the back seat too."

Jasper meets my eyes and then quickly bites his cheek to stop himself.

But of course he can't let this go without at least a poke at Emmett, "Good point, that's a huge relief because it was Bella that was taking up a majority of the room in the first place. I'm glad she won't be hogging up the back seat on the way back."

I snort at Emmett's glower, however I do think it's a good thing he's managed to pick up on the jibe at all.

Before I have time to get up and tell them goodbye Alice is on top of me hugging me tightly to herself. Whispering for only me to her she giggles into my ear, "I can't wait until you and Edward have a reception it'll be such fun."

I choke in surprise as I stare at her, "What?"

Keeping her voice at a level for only me to hear she continues, "I saw him propose silly. But don't worry I haven't told anyone, not even Jazz. I promised I wouldn't tell until you said yes, which you will by the way."

I relax instantly, if she hasn't told Jasper whom she tells absolutely everything even when he doesn't wish to hear it then she won't tell anyone.

Ugh, this proposal is haunting me every where I turn and to add to that now I have to worry about the terrors of the reception that will follow.

Alice pats me on the head and steps away from me, "By the way you little sneak, why haven't you told officially announced the news."

I'm seconds away from an aneurysm, entirely convinced Alice is about to spill the beans on the subject she just promised she wouldn't.

The expression on Edward's face alerts me that this is incorrect as he joins in enthusiastic laughter with Alice. She snorts in mirth as she continues, "Oh Bella, if I could just bring this up at school, imagine the look on Lauren Mallory's face as I go, 'Bella, tell me, how does it feel having been in bed with all the Cullen men?'"

This naturally sets everyone into uproarious laughter, at my expense once again. I have a feeling this is how I'm going to spending the rest of my eternity.

Charlie pokes his head into the room with an alarmed expression, "Is everything alright in here?"

I cross my arms over my chest and grumble under my breath so it's Emmett that answers him, "Of course, we're all perfectly fine. So thank you again Chief Swan for your hospitality and we'll be leaving now."

Rose picks up the presents and smiles at Charlie as she leaves the room shooting me a parting wink.

The Cullen's all trail out of my room until it's just Edward and I... and my father, lurking in the doorway.

After one quick glance at my father's expression, a pointed show of inattention I roll my eyes then flit them back up to Edward.

He lightly kisses me on the top of me head and murmurs for only me to hear, "I'll be back soon." Then he nods goodbye to my father and heads downstairs.

I sigh as Charlie inspects my clothing more carefully now, "Bells what happened to your dress?"

I contemplate for a moment and decide the truth isn't that bad, for the most part. "Er...Emmett had some fireworks and they hit the cake and it exploded everywhere."

My father frowns at me and huffs before leaving the doorway to continue his poker game, "Fine then, don't tell me."

I shake my head at his reaction, if only I was kidding. Stumbling into the bathroom I start to get ready for my shower and think about how crazy the day was.

But I can't really, all I can think about is how much fun it was and how at home I felt with them all.

There's only a slight sense of impending doom about a reception that will no doubt occur once Edward and I marry.

I'll have to warn the locals of the danger they may be subjected to from that festivity. I can only hope our cake will make it through. Only time will tell, I suppose but I'm ready for my time to last forever.

Not the cake though, if cake lasted forever that would be rather revolting.

A/N: I really hope you enjoyed this crazy story because I had a lot of fun writing it. Reviews would be nice if you'd like to give me some and er yes. Oh, and I've always wanted to do one of those collaboration stories you know? The emailing back and forth with the authors switching between chapters. If anyone would be possibly interested in doing one with me, I'm hoping some kind soul will offer out of pity, then let me know please. Ok, I'm done now, I promise.