Chapter 3: Father and Son and Fatherless Daughter
Ursa had spent the morning quietly sitting in her small room after Galen had been called to see about her. He planned to bring her more of the draught that afternoon just to be safe. He spoke to her at a little greater length about why she had come to the palace as a concubine and why she was so terriffied of being with the emperor. Ursa did quite well in hiding the true reason for her 'employment' in the palace. She was also able to indirectly gather some little known medical facts about Commodus. Galen told her that few people knew this, but the emperor had a strange condition that could cause his breath to randomly stop in his sleep. It had plagued him since infancy and Galen had yet to find a way to treat it. Also, Commodus was violenty allergic to certain insect stings. He had never fully succomb to their poisons, but he had in the past become very ill from being stung or bitten. Ursa found herself feeling sorry for the little twerp. He had nightmares, insomnia, fits of sadness, terrible loneliness, breathing problems, and horrible skin reactions from time to time. Hardly the list of ailments usually attributed to a Roman warrior or great Caesar. She sighed and wrote down everything she had learned after Galen had left the room.
She heard the other concubines leaving their quarters and talking excitedly about seeing the Spaniard at the colosseum. Ursa had no desire to ever view the games for a very specific and secret reason. The only great displays of strength she had seen were among praticing recruits. That had been enough. If the people simply wanted violence, then perhaps the emperor should simply make the training of the armies public in the colosseum. She shook her head and slipped out of the room to look around a little. To her surprise, there were minimal guards there. Most everyone must have been off at the games. She smiled and headed out to the rest of palace to explore. Unfortunately, the one guard that had been left posted at the door had been forewarned about her. She was not permitted to leave. She groaned and simply went to explore the rest of the quarters themselves. One wall that was covered by an unusual tapestry caught her eye. She noticed that there was an unusual crack in the wall behind the drapery. She could only see the bottom of it at first, but after moving the tapestry aside she could clearly see that there was something odd about this wall. She pressed gently on the crack and jumped backwards. The wall began to move backwards. She smiled and pressed on it again. The small section that was outlined by the crack moved backwards and allowed her into what appeared to be a tunnel. She smiled brightly and raced into the forbidden territory. The passageway was long and winding, but mostly very dark. To her relief, it was much cooler in this part of the palace. Ursa was extremely sensitive to heat and the mediterranean sun was never in agreement with her towards the summer. She walked further and further until she found herself in a most amazing chamber.
All around her were artifacts. There was ancient weaponry, statues, portraits, and things that Ursa had no description for. This must have been somekind of subterranean treasure trove for the Roman empire. There were such magnificent things just piled up down here! She walked happily among the beautiful paintings and tapestries. She admired the finery and weapons. She finally began to examine each of the busts and statues carefully to see if she could identify each one accurately from her history lessons with Maximus. She sighed a little at the thought of him. He had quite simply helped raise her. She missed him like a dear uncle. She finally came upon the bust of Marcus Aurelius. It was a fine likeness. Ursa half expected the raspy old man to ask her what she was doing there, but fortunately the statue remained silent. She looked down around the base of it. There were a few coins with his likeness still etched in them and a magnificent sword that he himself had used in battle in his youth. Ursa found it strange that he had not passed the blade on to his heir. Commodus was physically perfected, but hadn't been a soldier that she had been aware of. He acted as regent in his father's place after being initiated into co-emperorship at the tender age of fourteen. Ursa could not imagine bearing even half of the burden of the empire at this age let alone fourteen. She shook her head and felt a wave of pity for the little tyrant who occupied the throne.
She suddenly heard footsteps behind her. Ursa ducked behind some other statues and a column. By the light of a single grating at the top of one of the walls, Ursa could clearly see a staircase leading down into the area opposite from where she had entered. She watched a dark figure descend the stairs holding onto a torch. She tried to focus to make out the features of the guard or servant that was getting nearer to her. Ursa felt her stomach drop as she found familiarity in the face of the man. It was the emperor. She watched silently as he approached the bust of his father. She stayed very still and watched intently as he reached down and picked up the sword at the base. He held it to the statue's chin and whispered something to it. The young man's face suddenly twisted in anger. He raised the sword and began to simply swing and hit the stone head of his father. Ursa felt a gasp leave her involuntarily with every clang against the marble. She gulped and tried to silence herself fully. Luckily, the noise from the 'attack' were blocking any soft cries or laboured breathing she might have been allowing through. After a moment, he threw the sword to the side and grabbed the back of the statue's head with his right hand. Everyone in the kingdom knew that Commodus was left-handed and quite proud of it. He raised his left hand in a firm fist and acted as though he would simply punch the statue's lifeless face. Ursa gasped a little louder and braced for the sounds to follow. The breaking marble, the clattering to the floor, the cracking bone, and the shrill scream of the emperor. Instead, she heard nothing for a brief second. She opened one eye and saw him standing frozen in front of the statue with his fist only a centimeter from the face. She opened the other eye and watched closely. Commodus fell onto the statue with his arms folded around its neck. He sobbed harshly and shook with every breath and tear. Ursa felt her heart rip in two at seeing this. He seemed so mournful, so frightened. Just like a little boy crying for his daddy because he had left and refused to come back. She had remembered seeing Cicero crying like this once or twice on the anniversary of their mother's death. It was truly terrible. She felt the sudden urge to comfort him as he began to sink to the floor in tears. Without thinking, Ursa rushed forward and took hold of his shoulders from behind.
He remained unmoving except for the sobbing and trembling. Ursa embraced his shoulders and head tightly, offering the comfort he desperately needed. She stroked his head every now and then. He began to calm down slightly.
"It's alright. You're safe and everyone in the palace is here to help you.", she said softly. She tried to think of something to say that would finalize this and give him the comfort she could not give throughout the rest of the day. "We love you."
He tensed. Ursa felt this immediately. What she had said was indeed what he needed to hear, but now he would want to see who had said it. He reached up and carefully placed his hands over her folded arms. Ursa squeezed a little more to see if he would relax slightly. To her delight, he did just that, and she was able to slip away in the direction she'd come from very quickly. Commodus turned around in a flash, but saw no one. He scanned the entire room carefully, but saw no one. He frowned and hurried around the rest of the chamber looking for something, or someone. He sighed and headedd back up the stairs when it became painfully obvious that he had imagined the whole thing. He climbed slowly up the steps and back out into the main part of the palace. He looked over at the nearest guards that were keeping watch.
"Did someone exit through this door a little before me?", he asked. The guards looked at one another and then back at their emperor.
"No, sire.", they said in unison. He nodded and headed back for his chamber. What a silly thing to imagine. He wondered if it was simply the lack of sleep and loss of appetite he had suffered lately. Such things were notorious for playing tricks on one's mind. Add to that the fact that he had just been confronted with a death sentence. Maximus was alive. He was the famed 'Spaniard' that Rome had anticipated seeing in the arena. Maximus was a cunning and vile creature. He had killed Marcus Aurelius and refused responsibility for it. Commodus had ordered that he be taken out and executed at dawn, but apparently that order had fallen through. He hated for things to go wrong after he had given such specific instructions! He grumbled as he sat down at his desk and began to sign a few necessary documents. His sister entered the room a moment later. He felt a little relieved at this. Lucilla had taken the place of his mother at age six. She wasn't always kind and understanding, but she was the last remnant of normal family life that he could count on in his life. While it was sad to have to admit that, Commodus did what most humans do to survive on a daily basis; repressed. He looked up at his sister and sighed. He had to tell her what had happened. Even if she thought he was mad, he had to tell someone.
Ursa sat timidly in her quarters. As the sun began to go down once more, Galen came into her room and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Are you doing much better this evening?", he asked.
"Yes, thank you.", she said softly.
"Excellent. Let me have a look at you, then.", he said motioning for her to lie back. Ursa obeyed and allowed him to examine her breathing, heartbeat, temperature, and colour. She seemed to be in perfect health. He smiled and patted her shoulder. "You can sit up, now.", he said. Ursa sat up and rubbed her shoulders pensively. It wasn't cold in the room, but Ursa had a habit of rubbing her shoulders as if needing warmth when she was hiding something. It was a trait she had inherited directly from her mother. Galen turned to her and handed her another small cup. "Take this tonight again. I think it will help for you to have it a second time."
"Why?", she asked nervously.
"Upsets for a young woman can prove deadly. The more I can make sure that you are calm and settled, the better off everyone will be.", he explained. "The emperor was quite unsettled last night as well, my dear. I think he should have gone ahead and worked out his frustratuon with another woman, but he seems to be focused on one woman at a time. It's a silly thing for a royal to do, but he is emperor."
"I think it's much more noble than simply taking the nearest female and ravaging her like an animal without restraint.", Ursa said admirably. "He simply needs to refine it into sleeping with only one woman forever. That would be ideal."
"Goodness, where did you get such a notion? Do you not understand the purpose of a concubine? Royal men have insatiable lusts from time to time. Since royal blood is hotter than a peasant's, it must be indulged or it will do one of two things; kill the person or make them go mad. Either one is most unpleasant for everyone in the empire.", Galen explained. 'Truthfully, without concubines at his disposal, the emperor would cease to be capable of ruling. He would be a mass of nerves and passions. That's a horrifying thought, isn't it? You really do play such a vital role for Rome."
"I'm not sure it works that way, sir.", Ursa said as she shifted.
"Nonsense! I'm a physician and therefore know all about these things.", he said proudly. "Now, that draught should take effect in less than an hour. I suggest you lie back and go over some verses of fine poetry or a song. Something that truly improves the character of a woman.", Galen instructed. "Personally, I find a woman that can read and write like a poet far more attractive than one with large breasts."
Ursa blushed brightly and turned away. Galen chuckled and apologized for his forwardness. He bowed and left the room to give the emperor an update on the girl's condition. Ursa layed back and tried to go over what she had said to Lucilla that afternoon. Lucilla had explained that Cicero would not be able to see her in person for one week, but she could look out of the eastern window tomorrow and see him standing. Ursa missed her brother terribly. It left a gaping hole within her like the wound left behind when a flaming arrow was ripped from the chest. She winced. Not at the thought of the blood pouring from the entrance sight or the torn flesh and bone, but at the thought of being without Cicero for a whole week. She had to be stronger than ever.
Galen approached the emperor in his quarters. He stood over his desk, sulking like a cat. Galen shook his head and bowed low as the emperor noticed him.
"She's doing much better this evening, sire. I gave her more of the draught and she seems to be taking to it very well.", Galen said. Commodus nodded and looked away. "If nothing else, sire, she will be most amusing for you. She has the wildest notions about how women and men should be handled whether royal or not. I'm sure she understands how silly they are, but it is so amusing to hear them spoken in that innocent and serious little voice."
"Yes. I'm sure it is.", Commodus muttered and continued staring into nothing. He thought back to his sister's scornful laughter when he had told her about the aparition in the archives that had comforted him. He looked up at Galen in all seriousness. "Galen, do you love me?"
Galen felt his heart and lungs shrink. There were two ways to answer this and both had terrible reprocussions. Then again, he had never known Commodus to be interested in male intimacy, so in that regard he was fairly sure he was safe. He looked up at his ruler nervously.
"All of your subjects love you, Caesar. I am no exception.", Galen replied cautiously.
"Then it would be perfectly normal for a random subject to say to me that they love me.", he said softly. Galen stared at him for a moment and then smiled.
"Was a young lady professing a little more than loyalty, highness?", he asked with a wink.
"It sounded like a young girl. It must have been. That kind of voice is unmistakable.", he said flatly. "That and her touch was so tender; just like my mother. I thought I could smell flowers when she was behind me."
Galen raised an eyebrow. It wasn't everyday that the emperor was willing to share stories from his intimate moments with other people. He sighed and turned to Galen.
"That's all I really needed to hear, wasn't it?", he said sadly. Galen stared at him in confusion. "She told me it was alright, that I was safe, that I was cared for here in the palace. And then she says 'we love you' and that's all. It was so strange. So beautiful, but so strange."
"It sounds like a dream, Caesar.", Galen said with a laugh. Commodus glared at him angrily. Galen gulped and then bowed low, excusing himself from the emperor's presence. Commodus picked up a small wooden doll of a woman and then one of a man. He set them side by side and stared longingly at them. What on earth was wrong with him? He felt sad seeing two dolls all because it occurred to him that they weren't alone. He needed to go and run for a little while. Then perhaps he could check on the new girl in person. He felt terrible that Cicero was going to have to spend one long and grueling week without the most important person in his life, his sister. Commodus found himself wishing that he had been in these shoes occassionally, but after seeing the desperation an sorrow in Cicero he thanked the gods that he and Lucilla had yet to be physically seperated from one another.