Chapter 4: Ursa Luna, Bear Moon
Cicero was shown where he could watch for Ursa the next day. However, Cicero usually went above and beyond what he simply could do and that often meant going far beyond what he should do. He crept under the shrubs that lay just beneath the windows of the women's area and peeked up, looking for Ursa. Ursa sat off to the side. She seemed so out of place around the rest of these women. For her own sake, Lucilla had demanded that she be kept seperate. After all, new girls were usually quarantined for six weeks. Cicero had done a little research the night before about a concubine's role and the preparation they went through. He prayed that poor Ursa would not be required to undergo such a travesty. He called to her quickly and then ducked down. Ursa looked in his direction, but didn't move. He smiled and raised his head, calling again. Cautiously, Ursa walked over to the window and looked out. Cicero popped up. She cried out for a moment, then realized it was her brother, not an assassin standing below her. She gasped and held onto him tightly.
"Can I go now? Have you come to take me home?", she whispered. He looked from side to side. There didn't seem to be any guards present that would know who she was and try and stop them. Since Ursa hadn't been processed yet, she was not wearing the attire of a candidate and wouldn't be identifiable by a guard simply by appearance yet. Cicero looked up at her and smiled.
"Yes, little one. Come quickly. You and I can go back to the outskirts and forget this ever happened.", he replied quietly.
"But I haven't gathered anything for the cause, yet. Is that going to be an issue?", she asked making sure no one else was listening.
"Fie on the cause! I'll find another way to get what we need. If you stay here any longer than you will lose your innocence and your freedom.", he said. Ursa looked at him with curiosity. He frowned. "Concubines are slaves, Ursa, not servants. They are without rights as citizens whatsoever."
"That's not fair!", Ursa said a little louder. Cicero reached up and touched her shoulder to quiet her.
"I know, that is why you must come with me now.", he whispered urgently. "Quickly, while no one is watching."
Ursa began to climb over the window edge and out to her only source of love and protection. She stopped. The memory of Commodus kneeling and weeping in front of the statue the day before came into her mind. Who was his source of comfort and and protection? He had felt truly hurt and Lucilla hadn't been there to help, neither had the guards, and none of the senators would ever be placed in that role. She thought carefully about this. If she went back with her brother, then she would be leaving the palace without permission after raising such a fuss in being allowed to stay. The emperor's sister was the only person that could truly give her permission to leave. She would be breaking the law and would therefore have to be in hiding for the rest of her life. She would never have a normal husband or family if she was an outlaw. She sighed and looked back up at her brother. She couldn't leave like this. It would hurt her future and possibly the future of the pathetic emperor.
"I can't.", she realized aloud.
"Yes, you can. Just climb out a little further and I'll help you with the rest.", Cicero instructed. "No one is watching, little bear, come one!"
"No, Cicero, it isn't that I can't climb out. I can't leave.", she explained moving back inside. He stared at her horrified.
"If he's compromised you at all, it can be dealt with. You can still leave.", he offered.
"It isn't that, either, Cicero. If I leave now then I would be disobeying the emperor's sister. I would never be able to live as a proper citizen.", she explained. He stared at her in disbelief. Since when had she become concerned with legalitlies? Not that legalities had ever been an issue for them to deal with, but Ursa had to be too frightened to worry about this at the moment. "Besides, what if the emperor needs me."
"Needs you!?", Cicero whispered angrily.
"I mean, for the moment. If he truly feels connected to me then that could help our cause, couldn't it?", she asked. He stared at her in desperation. He wanted her to come home this instant, but it would be an even greater task to 'kidnap' his own sister than simply walk out with one of the imperial candidates. He sighed.
"You don't have to do this, Ursa. If you stay, then they could very well keep you.", he reasoned. She smiled a little.
"I know, but I'm a little more clever than you think.", she replied. "After all, who else has been able to stave off his advances simply by calling for someone else?"
Cicero nodded. "I'll come every day to see about you until Laetus returns. After that, Ursa, it is out of my hands and yours. Think carefully about this."
"I will, brother. Don't worry.", she said and reached out to softly kiss his head. "I think I shall use my middle name from now on. It makes me sound less like an innocent little girl, don't you think?"
"In a manner, but Ursa Luna also sounds exotic which is to the taste of almost every man here.", Cicero answered. "Stay away from the men of the palace, little bear. Even Gracchus has flaws. You cannot be too careful from this point on."
"I am capable of many things, Cicero. You've taught me everything you know.", she said smiling more than she had in weeks. "Go on, before someone sees you."
He sighed, kissed her quickly, and then hurried away from the window. Ursa watched him sadly. She had just refused a chance at freedom and peace in her life. This would not be her last, according to him. She would have six more chances. She wondered if she would have the same strength and resolve these next few days. This would be truly difficult for her. The impact of what she had just done finally settled over her and the memory of Commodus along with the swelling of pity left her. What had she done? She had just given up a chance to end this madness and go home to her brother. She missed him so much. She had only been away from him for a day, but that was too long. She felt tears begin to course down her cheeks. Why did she have to be so stupid? The emperor didn't need her and in truth, neither did their cause. She couldn't wait until the next morning. She could slip away with her brother and never worry about this dreadful place again. She slunk back into the small room she had been given and cried bitterly.
Commodus paced back and forth in his chambers awaiting the word that it was time to attend the execution of the two soldiers who hadn't alerted him to Maximus's survival. Lucilla had suggested that they be executed immediately. Commodus simply wanted them imprisoned and tortured mildly for a few days, but Lucilla insisted that it would re-inforce all respect for him if he acted quickly and efficiently. He groaned. There were no good ways to end this whole ordeal that was vexing him. If he allowed these men to live and simply be punished, then he would be chided and possibly lose any respect from the military and the Praetorians. If he went through with the execution, then he would lose the respect of many subjects and be tearing apart two families. He knew for a fact that these two men had children and wives. He had decided to check on the history of each convict to see if they had truly acted out of sedition. They were loyal men and had never made any move against the empire. He felt a rock in the pit of his stomach at the thought of a young child growing up without a father because of him. He remembered being deprived of his father due to war and position in the empire. That was terrible enough, but to not even have the option of seeing one's father was terrible.
He leaned out the window and gazed over the rest of the palace and the city. He heard something unnerving as he stood there. It was a young girl wailing. It sounded almost exactly like that girl he had called for the night before. He had broken protocol in the hopes of having a wonderful night with a girl that had been untouched by the silly lessons and goings on that were common among the women in the palace. Not only was he going to be permanently denied the little beauty, but he was still being consumed by the mystery of the comforter he had not met in the catacombs the previous day. He had been so consumed, that he had forgotten to check on the girl. He tried to continue reminding himself of why he should go through with the execution. The crying continued and got a little louder. He groaned. There was no way he could concentrate with that carrying on. The harder he tried to think about the problem at hand, the more the crying seemed to eat at him. He growled. Why on earth wasn't someone silencing that girl? He began to wish desperately that she would simply lose consciousness and be done with it. The door behind him opened and Quintus, head of the Praetorian guard and the military itself, entered with a bow.
"The prisoners have been brought to the courtyard.", Quintus said. Commodus felt anger coursing through him as the incessant crying continued. "Sire?"
"What in the name of everything sacred is all that racket?!", he demanded. Quintus took a step back. Commodus felt the guilt for the death of his mother nagging at him again. He remembered going into her room late one night crying out after a terrible dream. His mother had awoken for a moment then screamed and grabbed her head before collapsing. He had tried desperately to wake her up, but she wouldn't move. She had still been quite weak from losing the baby that had been within her. Other than Lucilla, Commodus had been said to have had twelve other siblings. Only he and Lucilla had survived. Sometimes he wished that the others had survived as well, but then the thought of them being as miserable to him as his father and occasionally Lucilla also crossed his mind. Still, the memory of his mother's scream and then feeling her grow cold were becomming just as overwhelming as that accursed crying! He snarled and tossed a nearby goblet to the other side of the room. He turned angrily to Quintus.
"Where's the document with their confession of being traitors?", Commodus demanded.
"We don't have one, sire.", Quintus said in confusion.
"Then they're not guilty, are they?", Commodus replied angrily. Quintus stared at his moody young ruler in disbelief.
"Sire, perhaps I should..."
"Send the men home and stop that horrible crying at once!", Commodus shouted as he began to cover his ears.
"Of course, sire. Who is crying?", Quintus asked. Commodus turned to him and glared hatefully.
"Don't ask stupid questions, general! That girl down there is crying!", he growled. "Go down there and silence her."
"Do you want her unconscious, sire?", Quintus said. He knew that if he hit the girl the emperor was talking about without the emperor's direct command to do so, then he could be severely punished for damaging the poor thing.
"I don't care how you do it! Send for Galen and have him calm her. And be quick about it!", the young man exclaimed. Quintus bowed quickly and left. Commodus went and sat down on his bed covering his ears as best he could. He tried to breathe slowly and calm himself. After a few moments, the crying ceased and he felt relieved at the silence that settled over his spirit. It must have been that timid girl that had refused him the other night. He sighed and smiled at the thought she was calm again. Galen must have arrived very quickly and given her more of the draught. There was a knock on the door to his chambers. He stood and walked over to the door, opening it slowly. There stood Galen. Commodus stared at him in disbelief. "How on earth did you get back to this part of the palace so quickly?"
"What are you talking about, sire?", Galen asked.
"You just saw to that girl, she's been carrying on all morning and I sent for you to go in and calm her just a moment ago.", Commodus explained.
"Sire, no one has sent me into see the girl today.", Galen said.
"Well then who on earth stopped her from...", he said trailing off. He remembered that he hadn't commanded Quintus to only go and fetch Galen to see to her. He had said that he didn't care how he silenced the girl, only that she be silenced. He groaned and pushed past Galen out towards the eastern side of the palace. Galen watched in confusion. He had been bringing the emperor news of the plage that was slowly making its way into the Greek quarter, but the emperor seemed to still be preoccupied by that little siren from the other night. He sighed and followed after the young man.
Commodus arrived at the concubine's quarters and forced his way past the guard, three adoring young women he owned, and two women that were exceptionally angry with him. He walked worriedly into the small room that the girl had been sleeping in a day ago. Ursa sat in the corner of her room, huddled beside the bed. She looked up at the emperor. He stared at her for a moment. Her eyes were reddened and swollen from lamenting. He rushed over to her and took a good look at her.
"Did he hurt you? I'll have him flogged if he hurt you!" Are you alright?", he asked loudly. Guilt was still gnawing at him, but the memories of his mother had been pushed aside. That didn't make them void. In fact, the guilt he felt for his mother's death was spurring the concern that he felt for this girl.
Ursa stared at him in disbelief.
"He didn't touch me! He showed up for a moment, but I sent him away!", Ursa said defensively. Ursa thought to herself that someone had seen Cicero beneath the window and now there was question as to who he was and what business he had fraternizing with a concubine. "He saw how I was feeling and then left, I swear!"
"You needn't be so defensive of him! I gave specific orders regarding you and they will not be disobeyed.", he said firmly trying to embrace her softly. She pulled away and stared at him. "Don't be frightened, young girl, I'm not going to let anyone harm you."
"He wasn't trying to harm me. He was concerned for me, that's all.", she explained.
"He said that to you?", Commodus said confusedly.
"Of course. I am sorry to have been carrying on like that, one of the other women here told me that crying upsets you, so I will do my best to remain calm and keep things like my sorrow as quiet as possible.", she said lowering her eyes. Embarrassment washed over him and he felt his cheeks fill with warm blood. He turned away a little. He was being foolish again. Things like making sure the girl was unharmed were better handled by his messengers, he shouldn't be rushing to her side everytime he felt a little worried for her. For that matter, she was no one to him and he really had no place in feeling truly concerned for her. He simply needed to maintain her virtue and his promise to her brother. He sighed and stood up slowly.
"I apologize for the other night, young girl. It wasn't right for me to send for you without the proper steps being taken. It won't happen again, I assure you.", he said. Clearing his conscience as far as the horrible mistake he had made the other night would alleviate the majority of the guilt he was suffering. "If you need anything send one of the guards for Galen or my sister."
"Thank you, sire. It's alright. I'm safe here in the palace and everyone has tried their best to help me.", she explained. He tensed again. Those words. They were extremely similar to those that had been spoken by the mysterious girl that had comforted him yesterday. He stared at her unmoving for several moments. Ursa began to feel very afraid. She shifted and looked away. "I apologize again for upsetting you, sire."
"All is forgiven.", he muttered and continued to stare at her. She said nothing else and refused to look at him. There were only two ways for him to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was the girl from the catacombs. One would be to ask her to tell him she loved him. The other would be for him to order her to embrace him from behind. Either one was highly inappropriate. While he was emperor and could order anyone to do his bidding and be right in doing so, he really didn't want the reputation of being a heartless monster that went around shouting orders to random people to act on his whims. He felt that he had done the right thing in stopping the execution, but he didn't want anything else to happen that could bring his morals and respect into question. He simply nodded to the girl and left the room. This was truly perplexing. He sighed and passed Galen as he left the room. "Go and make sure she is still well." He turned to the guard at the door. "Send for Quintus to come and speak with me. I need to ask him about what he said to the girl."
"Very well sire, but Quintus hasn't been here all day.", the guard said with a quick salute.
Commodus felt another snap inside him. All of these shocking events and things out of place were making him feel quite ill. He shook his head and tried to gather his thoughts. If Quintus hadn't come into these chambers, then who was the girl talking about? Perhaps it had been Gracchus. He decided to go and ask a few questions. While he knew he should be concentrating on something else beside the situation with the girl, but it was a pleasant distraction from the predominant hatred that the empire seemed to have for him. They didn't love him, no one did. He sighed in realizing that it was unlikely that anyone would. He walked slowly towards the senate building and shook away the feelings of sadness that were beginning to overtake him again.