"Buck?" she called softly, not wanting to startle him.
There was no response.
"Buck," she repeated.
He turned, snapping out of his reverie. "What? Oh, hi Wilma."
"Hi," she replied, feeling unaccountably shy. The sensation confused her - she was normally quite self-possessed. She masked her sudden nervousness by holding out her hand to him.
"I brought you some food cubes. I - I thought you might be hungry," she said by way of explanation, although they both knew it was merely an excuse.
Buck took the proffered food cubes without enthusiasm. "Not exactly steak and eggs, are they," he said, staring down at the small brownish squares that were edible enough but didn't taste like anything at all.
"What?" Wilma asked, unexpectedly confused by his words.
"Never mind." His eyes dropped and all of a sudden he looked lonely and vulnerable, like a lost child.
"Buck - are you all right?"
He ran a hand through his hair. "I just don't know what to do, Wilma," he confessed. "I really don't."
Wilma stared into his eyes, trying to brand his visage onto her soul. Buck was so precious to her, she couldn't imagine what life would be like without him.
He solemnly returned her gaze - uncharacteristically quiet - and after a moment she took a deep breath, reminding herself why she was here. This might be the last time she saw...the last chance she might ever have to tell him how much knowing him meant to her.
"Buck," she began quietly, "I'm glad you have this opportunity to go - to go back to your family...if that's what you want. You deserve it."
"Wilma - "
"No, Buck, I mean it," she said quickly. "You deserve to be happy. I want you to be."
Buck was deeply touched by the passionate sincerity in her voice. "Thanks, Wilma. You don't know how much that means to me."
"I don't know what I would have done without you these past two years," he said softly, gazing into her eyes with great affection. "More than anyone else you helped me get used to living in this century. You've been my best friend - put up with all my jokes - you've trusted me through everything, even when everyone else thought I was insane. Remember the Zantians?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow.
She nodded. How could she forget?
He went on, "You almost shot me out of the sky when you realized I was going to kidnap the Ruathan ambassador - but instead you backed me up, without even knowing what I was doing, even when it looked like it might lead Earth into a war."
"I knew you wouldn't let that happen," she told him softly.
"See?" he smiled. "That's what I mean."
As always, his easy grin warmed her heart. She took a step towards him, so close that she could lean forward and...it took a massive effort of will to prevent herself from reaching out and embracing this man who had come to mean the world to her.
She said instead, "You've done so much for us, too, Buck. Even though you're 500 years from your own century, you've saved the Earth I don't know how many times..."
"Well, it is my planet, too," he said with an embarrassed chuckle.
"And more than that," she continued, looking deeply into his eyes, "you inspire people. I've seen it happen over and over again. You've helped overthrow warlords and tyrants, and bring down corrupt governments. And people like Jen Burton, and Stella Breed - you changed their lives. You give people the courage to do the right thing."
"You've inspired me, too," she revealed with a tender smile. "You've shown me that I don't need to suppress my emotions - and how much stronger, more powerful I can be when I recognize them, and use them as my guide. You've changed my life, too."
"You've meant so much to me, Buck, as a colleague - as...as a friend." Despite her best efforts her voice shook suddenly and she had to stop for a moment. She threaded her fingers together in an effort compose herself. "You've taught me so much, made my life so much richer than it was. And you've made me a better person. I can't thank you enough for that."
Buck reached up and gently brushed one hand over her hair. "Right back at ya," he said with a ghost of a grin. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever known."
Wilma's heart swelled painfully. Her eyes filled with tears that she resolutely refused to let fall. Then don't leave me, Buck Rogers, she thought miserably, aching inside. For a moment she wanted desperately to forget her resolve and reveal everything she felt, the fierce love for him that she held in her heart.
But it would be emotional blackmail of the worst kind. It would be unforgivable to do that to him, and it would break the bond of trust between them. He must make his own choice, without pressure, no matter what the consequences might be for herself. His own choice - without volition her eyes slipped to the orb sitting just off to her right.
Buck followed the line of her gaze. "You know, up until tonight I'd have killed for a opportunity to return to my old life. But now that I have the chance -" He let out a harsh breath. "I never thought it would be so hard to let go."
Immediately Wilma's heart went out to him - she hated to see him so torn. All concerns for herself left her mind as she tried to find the words to comfort him. She laid a hand on his bicep, drawing his attention back to her.
"Don't feel guilty about us, Buck," she whispered with infinite tenderness. "We'll be all right. Do what will make you happy. Please."
He touched her cheek with the back of one hand and rubbed his fingers gently over her smooth skin. She leaned into his touch, savoring the soft caress. Then he dropped his arm and swept up her hands in his, gripping strongly, and with a tremulous smile she returned the clasp, holding his fingers so tightly it hurt.
For a long moment they stood without moving, staring into one another, lost in each other's eyes. Without moving her gaze from his Wilma loosed one hand and traced his cheekbone and the strong line of his jaw with fingers that trembled perceptibly.
Summoning all of her willpower, she forced herself to release Buck's hands and take a step back. She swallowed hard as the tears threatened to spill, then turned and fled for the exit without looking back.
-----
Buck paced across the cavern, rubbing his elbow aimlessly with his other hand. What was he waiting for? This was what he wanted, what he'd desired for the past two years. So many nights during his first months in the 25th century he'd awoken from a dream with his home - his world, his old life - at the edge of his awareness, just out of reach. Missing his family, his mother and father, his friends and Air Force mates...Jennifer.
Even after all this time it was still painful to think about her. The woman he'd loved. The woman he'd left behind. He'd been overjoyed when he thought he had found Jennifer again in the 25th century, only to discover that he'd been cruelly tricked by a look-alike in the form of Leila Markeson. And then Leila had died in his arms, and it was as though he had lost Jennifer twice. He wouldn't make that same mistake again.
He reached forward to take the orb, an image of Jennifer forming in his mind's eye.
-----
Outside the cavern, Wilma shivered suddenly in the darkness.