Like Water, Like Love

Chapter 4: Sometimes I Wish

Summary: nejixten, sasuxsaku She pushed him away, he drew her in. She wanted an embrace, he wanted to embrace her. She loved someone childishly, he loved her passionately. Their relationship was like water, like love.

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I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

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Sasuke

I don't know when it started, how it started, or why it started, but one day, a brown-haired kunoichi-in-training declared me as her new boyfriend. My first heated question was…

What the hell?

She came to me in an emerald green kimono, geta swiftly clinking the pavement. Her luscious hair filtered the wind, brushing playfully around her chin. Her step was light, her smile luminous, and her fingers graceful.

Her happiness was contagious.

I hadn't looked at another female the same way. She was radiant, and I have to admit at least just a little…

Attractive.

Her confession rolled off her tongue like a well-practiced verse.

"Sasuke-kun, I love you."

I furrowed my brow and grunted in disapproval. This scene had been reenacted before me too many times, but instead of searching my eyes with her watery ones like any other fangirl, she turned away before even acknowledging my reaction, quickly shuffling down the street. The setting sun created a soft pink background around her, and I didn't know why, but I wanted to call out to her.

She held so much courage, so much confidence.

The perfect bride.

I smirked.

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As the sunlight peeks in through the shutters, I turn my head slowly, taking in the form of my wife-to-be. A smile plays on her lips, lost in a forgotten dream, while her hands shift the blankets closer to her chin. Sighing in relief and exasperation, I sit up, letting the sheets fall from my shoulders.

Rubbing my eyes slowly, I try to rid myself of the remnants of sleep. As my mind gradually clears, a soft knocking on the front door barely reaches me. My hand quickly shoots under the pillow, withdrawing a kunai.

No one comes to visit me this early.

Soundlessly, I rise from the futon and enter the main hallway, making my way swiftly to the door. Kunai at the ready, I pull the structure open forcefully, and press my weapon against the throat of my visitor. A small gasp escapes my captive.

However, the fire and adrenaline drain from my eyes as I realize I am breathing into a mass of soft pink hair.

Grunting in apology or frustration (I can't tell anymore), I release my teammate from my hold, letting her breathe out.

Still behind her, I hiss, "What are you doing here?"

It annoys me when people come to my residence unannounced. Really annoys me.

"We have a mission, Sasuke-kun."

I cringe slightly at the added suffix. I wish she wouldn't love me.

Instead of chastising her for bothering my morning routine, I merely give her my all knowing reply, "Hn."

"Meet us at the front gates in thirty minutes." She turns and gives me a pained smile.

"Ah…"

Without a decent agreement, I slip back into the house, leaving her alone in the street. However, I don't walk down the hallway. I lean lightly against the door frame, waiting for her departure.

After a few minutes, I hear her retreating footsteps against the gravel, and sighing inwardly, I make my way to the dreaded room. Tenten is already awake and rummaging through her bags.

Sensing my presence, she stops her work and turns around with a shy smile on her face.

"Good morning, Sasuke."

No suffix.

Stiffening, I give her a grunt as my reply.

I wish I could give her more, but my actions have always spoken louder than my words.

I can truthfully say that I have never loved this young woman before me. Perhaps once attracted by hormones, but never this disgusting thing called love.

Love always confuses me. I like to dissect every emotion, finding its core and proving that it is only a figment of the imagination, but love never ceases to frustrate me. A figment? Then what is it that kept a certain girl chasing after me? Obsession? Attachment?

Clearing my head of these unsettling thoughts, I move my lips almost inaudibly, "I have a mission."

Her smile drops a few levels, but she agrees just as softly as me, "Don't die."

I won't.

Because she'll be sad.

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Naruto, Kakashi, and Sakura are already waiting for me at the front gates when I arrive.

Damn.

I'm late.

An Uchiha is never late.

I scowl some more as Kakashi explains the details of the mission.

An assassination mission again.

I don't mind bringing the knife down upon the enemy, I just hate the expression on Sakura's face afterwards. It was a twisted kind of pain, even though most of the time she never has to draw blood from the adversary.

Why did it disturb me?

However, this mission will be interesting.

"… our target is…" Kakashi glances quickly at me. "Uchiha Itachi."

I'm already hungry for his blood covering my hands. The joy of a mission accomplished, the pleasure of sinking the knife in and pulling it out. I feel the embers of a dormant desire spark in the pit of my stomach as we set out among the trees. The exhilaration of nearing the one man I have always wanted to kill is almost torturing, about to erupt in my throat.

"Where is he?" the blonde idiot asks cluelessly. Even though he must be the most idiotic among us all, I have to admit he is strong sometimes.

Sometimes.

"The Akatsuki camp," Kakashi replies. "We've received reliable information that the rest of the members of Akatsuki have all gone out on individual missions."

"Really? Why?" Naruto inquires.

It makes me curious too. Akatsuki is infamous for their invincible two-man teams.

However, Kakashi stays silent.

No one questions farther.

As the day drags on and the sun begins to set behind the darkening mountains, I feel Sakura beginning to lag behind.

I try to resist the urge of halting for her because I sincerely want to reach the Akatsuki base as soon as possible. Just the mere thought of my brother's blood soaking my hands makes my mind ravenous.

On the other hand, the need to suggest stopping is overwhelming, eating away at me as the minutes dragged by, and Sakura's chakra level relentlessly lowers beside me.

Clenching my teeth, I finally convince myself that we've made enough progress today. I open my mouth, about to call out to Kakashi to stop.

But Naruto beats me to it.

"Kakshi-sensei," he whines in a loud voice. "Let's stop. Sakura-chan is tired."

So the idiot notices these things too.

Beside me, Sakura flushes.

"No, I'm not," she protests.

"Sasuke, too," Naruto adds.

The incredible need to sink my fist into his face suddenly surges through my body.

An Uchiha…

Tired?

I am about to punch the back of Naruto's arrogant head with a fistful of chakra when Kakashi abruptly stops.

"It's the only clearing for a few miles, so we'll stop here," he explains.

We pitch camp rather quickly, Sakura and I avoiding Naruto and Kakashi due to their loud snoring. Actually, I have a feeling Kakashi's snoring is only a cover up for the flipping of pages in his book at night.

We keep the fire small even though Naruto tries to protest multiple times, but dinner consists of ramen at Naruto's request. We eat in silence, save for the quiet crackling of the fire.

This is just how I like my world. Silence, darkness…

I glance at the pink-haired girl next to me. She is gazing into the fire with an unreadable expression.

Guilt? Depression?

I scowl.

The meal passes by fast enough, and we all return to our respective sleeping spaces. It isn't much, just an attempt at a softer surface with grass. Before long, Naruto is blissfully snoring across the clearing, and I glimpse a small flutter of pages from the direction of Kakashi.

I stare up at the stars, trying to calculate our position. The seconds tick by endlessly as the clouds move over the moon like ghosts. Closing my eyes, I let the moonlight wash over me.

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't an Uchiha, that I didn't have to face this inevitable fate. Sometimes I hated the pressure; sometimes I hated the expectations. Sometimes I hated the feeling of degrading vision; sometimes I hated having to see the world from behind a blood red lens.

And sometimes I wanted to just be normal.

I wish Itachi hadn't killed the clan, or that I had been a part of that clan in the first place. Since that day, the whispering behind my back of my being the last Uchiha has increased to a deafening, booming announcement. I try to ignore it with a straight face, run away from it, but all in vain.

I am proud to hold the power of Sharingan, of course.

I just don't want the burdens that come with it.

Past my hard demeanor, I wish people can see that I am just one clumsy with words, just another shinobi.

As the thoughts claw through my mind, I sense a rise in temperature next to me.

I open my clenched eyes and turn my head slightly.

Of course.

The scent of the rosy pink hair greets me.

Sometimes it amazes me how she can keep it clean for so long.

"What do you want?"

I cringe inwardly at the coldness of my own words. I wish my words wouldn't be so harsh.

"I'm cold…"

Sometimes I wish she wouldn't look at me with those eyes.

Instead of offering her warmth, the hurtful word, if it can be called a word, comes spewing out of my mouth once more, "Hn."

Absorbing my indifference with a dropping smile, she scoots closer to me on the soft patch of grass.

I flinch at her touch, my hand screaming to push her off.

But she's a teammate, and it would be bad if she caught a cold.

I grunt and turn my back to her.

"Sasuke-kun…"

I can tell she's sleepy.

"Do you love Tenten-chan?"

"Hn."

A pause.

"Yes."

Because I have to.

"Ah…" Her voice drifts off with the small breeze.

But I want to love you more.

"If she were me…" She doesn't bother to finish her daring question.

I answer with silence.

I don't want to hurt you.

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Notes: I could have made this chapter longer, but I still have homework to do, and if I made it longer, it would be close to thirteen pages XD (It's a little over seven right now) I really wish I could write you a better story, but I really don't know how to get into the characters xx;;

Thank you for all the encouragement :D