Like Water, Like Love
Chapter 5: Wrong
Summary: nejixten, sasuxsaku She pushed him away, he drew her in. She wanted an embrace, he wanted to embrace her. She loved someone childishly, he loved her passionately. Their relationship was like water, like love.
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If
I erase everything, even the fact that we met
This loneliness will
go away too
But in spite of it all, I can say
That I'm glad I
met you
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Neji
Team Nine.
I scowled, I grunted, I glared at my team everyday, but in reality, I couldn't be happier.
Rock Lee, the taijutsu prodigy.
Me, the Byakugan prodigy.
Tenten, the weapons prodigy…
And also the girl I loved.
I wouldn't tell. Hyuugas don't say such weak things as, "I love you."
But at times, those words almost slipped from my tongue. It was like a burning fire in the back of my throat, rekindling itself every time I was mere feet away from the brown-haired kunoichi. It was at times like those when I had a burning desire to reach out and grab her impossibly thin waist and take her in my arms, just to prove that I could.
I didn't know her when she transferred into my class, but after we completed the Academy exit exam, a distant memory of a brown-haired kunoichi became clearer.
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"Neji, we're meeting your main family cousin today. Find better clothes," my mother scolded.
She was always nervous on days that we visited the main house.
I scowled.
The main family was just a crowd of arrogant, weak annoyances who had shunned my apparent abilities since I was born.
I had seen Hinata train before. She was weak. She couldn't bring the kunai down on any kind of opponent, even a straw dummy. Hinabi was a bit better, but her actions were rash and reckless.
Secretly, I knew the main house was ashamed of them too, but they continued to stress the inferiority of the branch families.
I sat down for breakfast in the most formal attire I had.
A black kimono.
My mother scowled at the mourning color as she replaced the milk into the refrigerator, but didn't comment. Slowly picking at my food, I asked her, "Who's the new member of the family?"
"Tenten. I heard she was the daughter of Hiashi's friend."
"Then why are we taking her in? She's not even from an advanced clan."
Mother paused momentarily.
"Something about a debt," she finally responded.
I nodded indifferently, but my mind vaguely wondered what type of debt this was.
We met with the main family and bowed to my new cousin, who was now Hyuuga Tenten.
Her soft brown hair brushed her chin as she blushed at the attention she was receiving, evidently shy and embarrassed.
The day ended with an all-too-formal dinner and polite, strained farewells on my part.
I didn't think I would see her again.
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The day that we were all assigned to the same team, she smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to have dinner with her. I gave her an indecisive grunt, which was accepted as an agreement, and was quickly dragged to the most expensive restaurant in Konoha.
I furrowed my brow, silently conveying my disgruntlement to her. However, she only laughed and told me how silly I looked, taking my hand and leading me to the counter.
I almost blushed under the dim lighting.
"A table for two, please," she requested with her glimmering smile.
I was sure that all the tables were reserved, but the shocked waiter led us to a table anyway.
The way he looked at Tenten throughout the entire procedure was repulsive.
It made me want to reach out and strangle him.
We took a seat on opposite sides of the candlelit table, her in her pink kimono, and me in my usual training outfit. We must have looked extremely out of place in such a high-class restaurant, but Tenten smiled so naturally that I thought that we were the only ones there.
The same disgusting waiter came again and asked for our orders. Much to my dismay, Tenten ordered my meal for me, grinning the entire time and making eye contact with the waiter as she handed back the menus.
I clenched my hands into fists.
Punching sounded really good right then and there.
She turned to me as he walked away behind her (he looked back once, but my glare made him walk faster away) and chatted amiably to me about nothing in particular. We "talked," more like she talked and I grimaced, about the weather, training, and passing the Academy exam.
I would have said something back to all of her comments; I swear I would have, but it was taking all of my willpower to stop myself from blurting out, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
I twisted the white napkin under the table, almost sweating from the energy it was taking me to uphold the stoic Hyuuga expression.
Eventually, our meals came (by delivery of a different waiter), and she quickly grabbed her utensils and began eating.
On the other hand, I continued staring at her, fists clenched on either side of my plate.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" I blurted out.
Damn. I thought I had myself under control.
The pasta poised on her fork stopped its journey to her lips. She frowned a little, then smiled, then frowned. She looked at me, then looked down, then looked up. She continued eating, then stopped, then began to cry.
The tears trickled down into her food, splashing it with salt and water. She wiped away the preliminary tears with the back of her hand, sniffing as they rapidly returned.
Gradually, her soft crying became a hiccupping, sniffing fit.
I looked around nervously and realized the entire restaurant was staring at us. They must think I hurt her.
I stood up, walking away from my untouched meal, and helped her up from her seat.
She kept on wiping her tears with her hand and apologizing as we exited the restaurant, the stares focused on our retreating backs.
I helped her to her apartment building, and mumbled, "Are you alright?"
"I think…"
Hiccup.
Not?
She turned away, the tears still reflecting the moonlight.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have broken down in front of you."
She turned around, facing me. The tears were gone.
"Friends?"
More.
"Can you hug me?"
Her voice was only a whisper.
I did.
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After that day, we became closer, and she was eventually willing to tell me her secret about the Uchiha. Inside, I was enraged and desperate to claim Tenten back as mine, but I accepted her childish feelings silently.
I always looked at her with the same hard, emotionless eyes, refusing to give her anymore, in fear that I would ruin my family. Cousins do not love, even if they aren't blood-related. It was just disgusting and unnatural, so I suppressed my emotions.
Of course, a demon will not be submissive for so long.
On a winter day, the demon in my heart raged and was suddenly ravenous. She shivered, so I unconsciously embraced her. She hugged me back, trying to shake the cold from herself.
Unfortunately, Hiashi saw us and immediately pulled us apart.
The next day, he demanded the disbandment of Team Nine and told my mother that I was restricted from ever seeing Hyuuga Tenten again.
Despite all of the measures he took to separate us, I repeatedly visited her, pleading her to train with me everyday. Sometimes, she gave in, and we secretly escaped to the secluded forests of Konoha, sparring until the sun set. She was strong and stubborn, sometimes almost matching my strength.
In the end, I would always win these spars, but tried my best not to hurt her.
Her abilities improved rapidly through our duels, and she was regarded as the true pride of the Hyuuga family.
I was sure that Hiashi was suspicious of who Tenten fought with, coming home covered in small bruises and cuts, but he never asked.
Inside, I was beyond content with my lifestyle, even though my mother was completely against it, fearing the punishment of the main house. However, her attempts to stop me were futile, and I continued to spar with Tenten.
That day that I stepped into her open window, the demon suddenly lurched and fought to escape inside of me.
Her creamy skin and perfected figure suddenly looked so attractive and delectable that I reached out to kiss her, to comfort her.
I didn't regret it even when Hiashi reprimanded me for such rash moves towards a family member. I knew the truth behind Tenten's adoption. It wasn't out of good will or pity, but a mandatory decision, the result of some kind of exchange. I didn't know the details, but I could still use my limited knowledge a threat to the main house.
I smirked at the dismay and denial in the arrogant bastard's eyes, rubbing his own heartlessness into his face.
As I stepped out of the room, I was shocked to see Tenten there. I knew that the truth, if she had heard it, would hurt her, so I walked past her, trying to pretend as if nothing happened.
I traced my lips with my fingertips, trying to remember the texture of her lips. It was so wrong, but so right at the same time.
The feeling that we had exchanged then, with her responding to my cadence, was absolutely a yearning so strong that I thought I would be consumed by it. I wondered if she felt the same, or if she was just trying to imagine me as the Uchiha.
Needless to say, I wish it could happen again.
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A soft rapping came on my bedroom door. I glance over at the clock and groan silently.
Seven? I am sleeping in again.
I pull open my door, slightly disgruntled from my disturbed sleep.
"Let me in, Neji," Tenten whispers to me.
Through my surprise, I open the door wider, allowing her to step in. I close the door behind her as she takes a seat on my unmade bed.
"Neji…"
She blushes.
"Put a shirt on."
I look down and finally realize that I am only half dressed.
I grunt. I'm still too sleepy to decide what to wear.
She laughs uncomfortably, but continues anyway. "Sasuke left for a mission this morning."
So…?
"I… I…"
Damn. She's crying again.
"I don't know what to do. I miss him already," she sobs, burying her face into her hands.
Let me strangle him.
"Ah."
I don't know what to say or do.
She just sits there, crying on my bed, shoulders heaving up and down in a steady rhythm.
"Neji, I don't even think he loves me. I don't know what to do."
Her faltering words hurt.
I walk over to my bedside and seat myself next to her.
She collapses into my chest, grabbing my sturdy back with her petite hands. I don't hug her back, but I don't push her off either.
"Neji, I… I…"
She hugs me harder.
I clench my fists, willing myself not to do anything.
Eventually, her sobs quiet down and her hold on me loosens. She breathes deeply, still leaning on me. "Neji, could you do me a favor?"
"Ah."
"Could you pretend to be Sasuke…"
I scowl at her.
"Just for today?"
My scowl deepens.
"Please… I really…"
The water collects in her eyes again.
I succumb.
"Ah."
She wipes away her tears with her hand, the water staining her perfect skin.
"Okay, let's go then!" she suggests brightly. "… but get dressed first."
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Tenten dragged me to all corners of Konoha, peering into much too expensive shops, whose wares were well over our budgets. I bought her small things, candy and lunch, but when she was examining a sparkling necklace in a store, I secretly bought a ring. It cost me almost more than I could afford, but I managed to pay with a few dollars still left in my wallet. I slipped the jewelry into my pocket, praying that I wouldn't lose it.
I wondered why I bought it. I didn't even have a use for it.
Tenten skipped happily in front of me, licking her ice-cream.
"That was fun! Ne, Neji-kun?" She smiled radiantly.
"Ah."
We reached that dreaded door to Uchiha Sasuke's residence after a few minutes. She finished her ice cream, popping the last bit of cone into her mouth.
"Well, see you tomorrow, Neji-kun!"
And then…
"Neji-kun, let's spar again someday!"
Someday.
Why not today?
Her fingers went to the lock on the door. After fiddling with it for a while, she pulled open the door.
"Good night, Ne—"
I pushed her against the wall, holding her wrists down with an iron grip. She searched my eyes fearfully.
"Didn't you want me to pretend to be the Uchiha?"
"Not like this, Neji," she whimpered.
"You know he doesn't love you, Tenten."
She bit her lip lightly.
"I know," she finally admitted, casting her gaze to the ground.
I bent down to kiss her, but she turned her head away.
"Stop it, Neji," she commanded, staring straight ahead and past me. "I…"
She pushed me away.
"This isn't right. I… We… Just…"
Pulling her hair agitatedly out of her eyes, she sighed and placed her hand on the doorknob again.
"Good night, Neji-kun."
She wasn't smiling at me.
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Notes: I'm really losing inspiration for my stories. I guess "What I Wanted" really boosted my ego too much and now I'm just writing because I THINK people would want to read what I write. I was comparing WIW and "Something More" and I realized that I only wrote SM because I thought it would be as successful as WIW. I didn't actually want to write it.
As for this story, I barely even planned it before writing it, so that's why you have this filler chapter where I have to explain everything. It's really annoying me right now that I have to present these facts to you so bluntly because I failed to do so before.
I really regret writing SM and LWLL now and I wish I could delete them, but I put too much time into both of them. I want to drop both projects, but I don't know what to do after that, and I know that no matter how horrible a story is, it gets worse if it's never finished.
I'm not asking for everyone to tell me "No, you're really good!" I'm not looking for pity or anything. I'm just warning you that I might delete SM and LWLL. I really am not getting the inspiration and will to write these stories anymore, even though I really, really, really, REALLY appreciate all of your reviews. It's not a matter of how many reviews I get. It's just… I don't feel satisfied with these stories at all. I don't even want to edit this chapter because it's just so bad and annoying, so there will probably be some verb tense problems.
But still, thank you thank you thank you for all the support! If I decide to delete or change or do anything to any of my fics, I'll post it on my profile.
