A/N: Sorry for the wait! I'm glad to see some of my old readers have found me again. Here we go...
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
The Way It Has To Be
Chapter 5 – History Can't Lie
There was really only one way to describe how Kagome was feeling. And that was...heartily embarrassed. After only half an hour she was beginning to tire. What on earth had happened to the girl who could keep up with Inuyasha all day with only moderate amounts of complaining? Apparently that Kagome had met an untimely end beside the hanyou's sickbed. And while she was at it, she had worried her friends. It was this more than anything that annoyed her. She had been utterly selfish.
Of course, she could always give the excuse, "I can't move around freely with the Shikon no Tama," and be fairly justified in doing so. After all, Inuyasha wasn't doing much of anything these days, Sango was as likely to whack her as help her, and Miroku was no longer the magnificent youkai-Hoover that he once was. Which left Shippo.
Ooh, scary. She could see it now. Any attackers would die...of hysterical laughter.
No, all things considered, she had had every reason to stay put. But now that she was out and about, with the Shikon no Tama clasped firmly around her neck (heaven help her if she lost that!) she had to admit that she had possibly taken things a bit too far. Sure, there were still lots of problems to face in the much-too near future, but was that any reason to completely block out the sun? She had forgotten how nice the bright warmth felt on her face. It was almost a shock to come back to it again after so long.
Privately, part of her mumbled that there was an excellent reason for going under voluntary house arrest...and it looked uncannily like her twin. She knew she couldn't avoid it forever - they would eventually have to work their situation out to some end - but that didn't mean she had to look forward to it.
A flicker of movement to her right caught her attention, wrenching her from her depressing train of thought. It had looked like dark robes...
Silently she crept up to the bush that was shielding the person from her, watching as they appeared to prepare for another dash for safety. The girl grinned as a perfectly wicked idea occurred to her. Timing her move exactly right, she lunged over the top of the shrub just as her quarry made to stand up.
This was going to be fun...
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Miroku, rather to his surprise, found himself really getting into this crazy game. There was an unexpected thrill in trying to outsmart the one who was attempting to find him. He had found that hiding behind trees was remarkably effective as manouvres went - you could inch your way around the trunk as the 'seeker' went past, thus avoiding being seen. The only 'danger' point was when it became necessary to move between trees.
Like right now. He took a deep breath, preparing to run for it.
"Hey you!"
The shout blasted through his head from close range, making him stand up in shock. And found himself face to face with a laughing Kagome. The monk blinked rapidly and swayed, left a little off-balance by the whole thing. The girl ducked and caught him before he could fall, giggling madly. Her laughter was contagious - he couldn't help but start chuckling along with her.
'You know,' his mind remarked from out of nowhere, 'this is one step away from being an embrace.'
Ah, damn. He was blushing again.
Apparently something of that sort had struck Kagome as well, judging by the way she sucked in a breath rather sharply and was now worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. To his delight, she gave him a nervous smile. "Um...surprise?"
Miroku floundered around mentally for the trademark poise he usually had. "You nearly gave me a heart attack! There are easier ways of killing me, Kagome-sama!"
She tilted her head slightly, pretending to consider it. "But that was easy!" she exclaimed playfully.
Miroku grimaced. "Less embarrassing ways, then."
The girl miko laughed. "Oh, come on - what fun would that be?"
'She's still holding you by the shoulders,' his treacherous mind pointed out helpfully. 'This is a golden opportunity for a lecher...'
A combination of common sense and not a little self-preservation produced a counter argument. 'Remember Inuyasha? Red robes, fluffy ears, really big sword!'
Miroku swallowed, looking over the girl in front of him. And came to a decision. 'Forget Inuyasha.'
And as an afterthought - 'I am so dead.'
He closed his eyes for a second, then chanced another look. 'She's worth it.' The monk leaned forward...and stopped in confusion when her blue eyes suddenly went flat and hard. A cautious second glance showed that she was not looking at him any more - rather, she was looking past him. With an unmistakeable sinking feeling in his gut, he turned around. Brown eyes looked back at him coolly. Kikyou.
'Oh, hell. This was not supposed to happen. Not just as she was laughing again!' He glared pointedly at the undead miko. As ever, she had a rotten sense of timing.
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Kikyo was sure that she would never be able to understand this girl from another time. When she had been the same age as the reincarnation, she had spent her days learning the ancient rituals, working in the shrine and tending to the needs of the village. She had never wasted time dashing about like a hyperactive child with absolutely no decorum at all.
She supposed she could be considered jealous, after a fashion.
The miko was momentarily distracted from her observation of the intruder by the sight of the monk hiding behind some bushes. The man was proving to be most interesting, especially when he thought nobody was looking. She had seen some unmistakeable signs in the past few days...that look on his face was very familiar - she had seen it on Inuyasha's face quite often before Naraku came and destroyed everything.
Kikyo wondered if the houshi knew what his face was saying so openly. He was in love with the reincarnation. And the reincarnation appeared to be in love with Inuyasha. How...inconvenient...for everyone concerned. The foolish creature would simply have to learn to live with the inevitable. Inuyasha belonged solely to her - the girl would realize this soon enough. She would be well advised to stick to those within her reach. The houshi would obviously be only too happy to take the role of lover in this case.
The miko reached a decision. It was time to resolve this quarrel.
Wordlessly she walked up to where the reincarnation and the monk were standing. She scoffed inwardly at their silly behaviour, and watched as the merriment drained from the reincarnation's face at her arrival. The monk, she noticed, was rather quick on the uptake - he sensed that something was wrong almost immediately. 'Very different to Inuyasha,' she mused silently, 'he practically had to be hit on the head with the facts before he picked up on anything.'
Idiotic hanyou.
She stared intently at the reincarnation, summoning her to her side without the use of words. The girl seemed to think about it, then nodded in assent and moved towards her cautiously. Her progress was suddenly impeded by the speeding ball of red fur which turned out to be that youkai child that was always hanging around. She suppressed an annoyed sigh.
"Don't go, Kagome! She'll just hurt you, you can't trust her! Please!"
Kikyo looked disdainfully down at the youngster - the brat seemed to forget that they had fought on the same side in the end - but before she could do anything the reincarnation finally spoke. "Shippo-chan, behave yourself! And don't worry, I'm sure it will be fine." Her gaze lifted to meet Kikyo's own eyes - to her surprise the look was completely steady with no sign of flinching.
'Interesting. She has more backbone than I thought.'
The monk looked as though he would very much like to stop her, but the reincarnation merely laid a hand on his arm and he subsided, albeit reluctantly. "Kikyo-sama just wants to talk, Miroku-sama." She walked over to the miko, and the pair moved off to a more secluded place - away from curious ears and eyes. Kikyo found herself begrudgingly admitting that if nothing else, the reincarnation was brave to a fault.
Once they were at what she considered a safe distance from the others, Kikyo turned to face the reincarnation, her face kept carefully blank of any expression. "Inuyasha will be coming with me." Her tone of voice clearly said, 'There will be no arguments.' To her surprise the reincarnation did not immediately start babbling useless protests. Rather, she appeared to be deep in thought.
"Do you love Inuyasha?"
Hmm. Clearly she had given the girl a bit too much credit. "A body such as mine is just that - a body. The ability to think is essential for survival...the ability to feel emotion is not."
The reincarnation seemed to mull this over, then tried again. "But you have your memories of your life, don't you?" She appeared to be waiting for some kind of response, so Kikyo nodded slightly. "Okay, then. So, you remember how you felt about Inuyasha back then?"
Kikyo abruptly got the impression that she was on shaky ground. "I remember."
"And did you love him?"
She closed her eyes, remembering - and reopened them slowly. "Yes, I did." The tension seemed to go out of the reincarnation at this statement, as though she could finally relax once she had received the answer. The two of them stood in relatively peaceful silence for a while. Eventually Kikyo felt that she had to restate her position, in case the other girl had decided to oppose her. "I will take Inuyasha with me to hell. You cannot prevent it."
The reincarnation appeared unexpectedly exasperated. "Yes, yes, I heard you the first time."
Ah, so she did understand. This was a new development, to be sure.
The other girl took a deep breath, bracing herself. "If you could go back to the way things were - be human again, with all the emotions that come with it - would you?" The reincarnation peered out from behind her thick bangs nervously. Apparently this was an important question, so Kikyo decided to give it serious consideration.
If she had the chance...even though it was obviously impossible...what would she do? It was some time before she answered.
"I would."
The reincarnation sighed, looking off to the side at nothing in particular that Kikyo could make out. "I see." She turned back and bowed to the miko politely. "Good afternoon, Kikyo-sama."
Kikyo watched the reincarnation leave. Something very important had happened here, but she didn't quite know what it was. She supposed she would find out in good time.
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Unseen by either of the two women, Kaede took all of this in with narrowed eyes. Things were progressing much as she had guessed they would, but the houshi's affections were completely unexpected. This would complicate matters.
Sighing, she juggled her basket from one arm to the other. She was getting too old for this kind of thing. However, she could not deny that she was very curious as to what Kagome was planning. The old woman was exceedingly fond of the young girl, and regarded her very much as the granddaughter she never had. It pained her to see the girl driven to distraction like this, but Fate had decreed that it must be so. It was a terrible weight to place on the shoulders of one so young, but she had every confidence in her young charge. Kagome would do what was necessary, as she had always done before.
Even at the expense of her own happiness.
In that, she mused sadly, she and her sister were very much alike. Kikyo had forgone any semblance of a 'normal' life in favour of of fulfilling her duties as a miko – and she suspected that very soon Kagome would do the same.
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That night Miroku found himself growing more and more concerned. On the one hand, Kagome had abandoned her lonely post by Inuyasha's bedside – which pleased both him and Shippo no end – but she had instead taken to staring into the fire, lost in her own thoughts. And everyone in that room knew that a silent, pensive Kagome boded no good for anyone.
From past experience Miroku knew that Kagome would not be willing to talk properly until everyone else was asleep. So he bided his time, enjoying the way the firelight danced in her eyes and was reflected by her glossy black hair. But in the same turn, the glow from the flames brought her face into sharp relief, highlighting the dark shadows under her eyes and giving her a most melancholy appearance. Those shadows worried him.
Just as Miroku began to despair of his companions ever going to bed, the first mumbled 'goodnight' was heard. This quickly prompted everyone else to retire for the night, leaving only Kagome and himself wide awake. Kagome hadn't moved a muscle as everyone had excused themselves, fixedly gazing into the hearth as though the answers to the universe were hidden inside. There was a gravity in the air that was making Miroku distinctly uncomfortable, and he found himself desperate to lighten the atmosphere.
"You know, Kagome-sama, I still have my blindfold if you need it," he grinned impishly. To his surprise she reacted, slowly turning to face him – but any triumph he might have felt at his success fled at the blank expression in the young miko's eyes. Unable to hide his shock, he stared. Kagome seemed to note his reaction and just as casually appeared to ignore it, electing instead to resume her firegazing.
Mentally scolding himself for being a tactless clod, Miroku composed himself once more and tried again. "You and I have long been able to talk to each other," he began gently, "and I must confess to being rather worried about you right now. So…if there is anything you want to talk about – at all – then I…" His voice trailed off at the sudden look of sadness that crossed her face, making her appear immeasurably older than her years.
"You're not going to leave this alone, are you?" she asked bleakly. Doing his best to look both comforting and stubborn at the same time, he shook his head. "I didn't think so," she sighed. He frowned as she visibly braced herself, then faltered. "Um…"
"What is it?"
"I…er…could you?" She gestured helplessly at him. "Please?"
A rather tasteless and juvenile remark about never being able to refuse a woman in need crossed his mind, but he ruthlessly squashed it. Levity would not be appreciated right now. Instead he picked up the strip of material and bound his eyes without a word. Then he folded his hands in his lap and sat very still. "Ready?" he asked.
A slight change in air pressure told him that she had moved closer (it was truly amazing what you could feel when you couldn't see) – so when she cautiously laid a hand on his shoulder, he wasn't as surprised as he could have been. Meaning, he didn't jump out of his skin. "Miroku-sama, maybe you should lie down. This might take a while."
Miroku bit his lip and told his unruly self to behave.
Once he was as comfortable as it was possible to be on a hard floor, he nodded. "Ready, Kagome-sama."
He could practically feel her hesitation. "I don't quite know how to explain this." She paused uncertainly, considering. "Haven't you ever wondered why I was the one who came back in time? I never could work it out. I mean – there is the whole 'reincarnation-of-Kikyo' thing, but I don't think that has much to do with it, really. And as for saying that my miko powers were needed now, well, that's just laughable. I don't have many powers to speak of other than purifying the Shikon no Tama and shooting arrows badly."
Personally, the monk thought his dear miko had self-esteem issues.
"No, really-" his disbelief must have shown on his face, " – think about it. Miko and monks in this time are not exactly rare. There are many extremely powerful and well-trained people who could do this so much better than me. So…why me then?" She stopped talking for a moment.
"Do tell, Kagome-sama," he prompted after a few minutes had gone by.
She jumped, startled out of her thoughts. "Right. Okay. Like I said, I've been thinking about this, and there's only one answer I can come up with that makes any sense. I don't just waste time when I go home, you know – I've been doing research, trying to find information on this era. And there is no mention of the Shikon no Tama. Or of Inuyasha. Or me. Or you, even. There is nothing, which means that nobody else from this time, miko or monk, was ever involved. And something happened – er…well, something will happen…to fix things."
Miroku wasn't sure he liked where this was going. "Fix things?" he echoed.
"It's a bit of a time paradox. If a person from this time became involved – someone not in our group, I mean – well, history would change. And it hasn't."
He couldn't help it. He was confused. "Huh?"
"Argh, I'm saying this wrong. Look, so far as everyone in my time is concerned, this never happened. Which tells me that it wasn't supposed to happen. Naraku was not supposed to happen. But no one here could stop him and fix what he'd done - so that it would be as though nothing went on – without changing the course of history. It had to be someone who could come and do what had to be done…and leave just as easily once it was finished so that history wouldn't be affected."
Miroku felt himself go cold.
"See, the person has to be able to leave, so that history wouldn't be changed any more than it had to. And it looks like that person is me."
He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. One word rang in his mind, 'No, no, no…'
Abruptly Kagome decided she was done with talking, and moved over to her sleeping bag. Once the rustling noises stopped, Miroku shakily pulled off the blindfold and stared at her with wide eyes.
No wonder she hadn't wanted to look at him, with news like that.
Sleep was a very long time in coming for him that night.
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A/N: That's the last update for a month, as I leave on holiday today! See you then with Ch 6!