All American Ho-Bag
Disclaimer: We do not own any of the traditional characters, J.K. Rowling does.
We would like to thank all the people who reviewed our last chapter, and dedicate this chapter to: Legolascrazy17, for her incredibly kind and uplifting review, Harmonyhearsvoices, for all of her constructive criticism, Camille, just for being, well, sweet, Shannon, for being well, Shannon, and finally, ratherbeswimmin' for so enthusiastic.
Sirius stepped off the train into the chilly night air of Hogsmeade. He glanced around the station, when he heard a shriek from just inside the train, and Bria came tumbling out on top of him.
"Bria, must you fall on me every year?" Sirius asked.
"Of course! We've done this since first year, and therefore, it is now a tradition."
"Well, would you mind getting off me now, so we don't get trampled?" Sirius asked with a sigh.
"But you ask so much of me!" Bria said, while getting back to her feet.
As soon as Bria was back up, James jumped out of the train, and landed on Sirius.
"Get off me, pack-mule!" Sirius grunted, while trying to dislodge his friend.
"A pack mule? Moi? James asked, as he rolled off Sirius.
"Don't even attempt to speak French, Prongs. Sirius said, dusting himself off. "You're no good at it."
"Moi? No good at speaking françias?" James asked indignantly.
"What did he say about the French, James?" Bria asked in a chastising voice
Before James could reply, they were joined by their friends.
"Come on you lot." Remus said after surveying the scene before him. "Let's go get a carriage."
As the seven of them made their way toward the carriages, Sirius sidled up to Bria.
As he drew up next to her, he slowly raised his arm…
"ARMPIT!" Sirius cried, coming down on Bria's neatly arranged hair.
"Sirius!" Bria trilled as he made a break for the carriages, "I am going to KILL you when I catch you!"
With that, she raced off after him at top speed, with the others at her heels.
The carriage ride passed quickly, and after what felt like no time at all, the carriages pulled to a stop in front of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"Okay Bria, you can stop poking Padfoot now." Remus said, exiting the carriage.
"You just got lucky, Padbutt." Bria said, reluctantly ending her torture of Sirius.
"Ladies first." Sirius said, sardonically holding the door open for her.
"I don't think I should trust you." Bria said, cautiously making her way down the small flight of steps.
Sirius slowly pulled his wand out pf his sleeve, and with an air of pure malice about him, he took careful aim at Bria's cosmetics bag.
"Disendio!" Sirius shouted the spell just as Bria moved slightly to the left.
Sirius watched in horror as his spell hit the side of Bria's robes, causing them to split at the seam.
Bria looked down when she heard the ripping sound. It only took her a couple of moments to realize what had just occurred, and the second it all clicked into place; she lunged at Sirius, her tattered robes flying off behind her.
"Why isn't anyone saving me?" Sirius asked throwing his arm over his face as Bria hit his chest full force (Which is coincidentally, as high up on him as she comes).
"Because we have faith that you can win against such a tiny girl." James answered, from amongst the crowd of on lookers.
"She is in a bra and knickers! I can't even open my eyes! This is hardly what I'd call a fair fight," Sirius complained, raising his arm once again, to deflect a series of pinches delivered with precision by his female foe.
"Bria," Remus called from the outside of the fray, "I've just mended your robes."
"Thanks Remus!" Bria said, abandoning her defenseless friend.
After the crowd of students had dispersed, Bria turned to Lily and Emma.
"Come along ladies, the feast awaits us." Bria said, taking a friend on either arm, and heading toward the entrance hall.
"Wait!" James called, running after them, "May I sit with you at dinner, Lily?" He asked, his eyes riveted on Lily's retreating figure.
"Not a chance, Potter." Came Lily's flippant reply.
As James watched the girls' head away from his friends and himself, he heard Emma talking to Lily.
"Why don't you give the poor guy a chance, Lils?" Emma asked in an undertone.
"Because Em, he is an egotistical jerk who only wants me because he can't have me, and I can't stand him." Lily replied, not bothering to lower her voice.
Sirius took one look at his friend's crestfallen expression, and decided to take it upon himself to cheer the poor bloke up.
"Come on, mate." Sirius said, slapping James' shoulder good-naturedly.
"No girl can be worth all this trouble. I know! Let's call in some strippers from Hogsmeade!"
"No, Sirius. Absolutely not!" Remus said in a firm voice.
"Oh come on Rem. Don't be such a stodge!" Sirius said, in his most persuasive voice.
"It'll make James fell better!"
"No it won't!" James objected.
"And even if it would, let's remember the Last time you decided to "Cheer James up" Sirius" Remus coaxed.
"But it was worth it!" Sirius argued.
"It was most certainly NOT worth it!" James interjected.
"You're not the one who had to scrub the loos, top to bottom."
"Fair enough, but-."
"No "but"s!" Remus cut in unceremoniously.
"We are no hiring strippers!"
" I thought it was a good idea." Peter piped up.
"Well, it's not." James said, turning into the great hall, where all the students were already seated.
"I don't need something to distract me from Lily, I just need to figure out the best way to get her to go out with me."
"Just date other chicks." Sirius said, nonchalantly taking his seat.
"It'll make her jealous."
James glanced past Sirius, to where the girls were sitting.
"I just want her to love me the way I love her." He said in a dejected voice.
Samantha Bennett looked up at the familiar sound of her friends' laughter.
"Hey Sammy!" Bria said taking the seat right next to her.
"How'd your summer go?" She asked in her annoyingly good-natured way.
Lord, please give me strength to deal with Bria, for one more year.
"Bria! My summer was spent completely devoted to the good Lord in heaven." Samantha replied, after a rather long and awkward silence.
"And yours?"
"Er… Fab. Bria finally stammered.
"I spent half of it with Lily, and half of it at home. Which was practically unbearable."
"Bria?" Samantha asked, after another lengthy lull in the conversation.
"Do you ever regret your previous lifestyle?"
"Never!" Bria laughed.
"I love being fun, and reckless!"
"But don't you ever you were still an innocent child?" Samantha persisted.
"I really haven't thought about it that much." Bria said, not really knowing how to respond.
"Hey look! There are the Marauders!" Bria said, with a sigh of relief.
As they sat down, she quickly turned her attention to the conversation Lily and Emma were having with a sweet looking fourth year, named Eliza, about the pros and cons of the "No Magic in the Corridors" rule.
"Personally I think that it is just a way to try to keep us sedated, as we make the would be perilous journey from one class to another." Emma commented.
"Well, I think-" Eliza began, but she was cut off abruptly by Jennifer, a snide looking sixth year.
"I think that you're just conversing with the upperclassmen, in attempts to boost your social status."
Lily took one look at the hurt expression on Eliza's face, and acted on a snap decision.
"And I think you will either apologize for that comment to Eliza, or serve detention with Professor Slughorn tomorrow night." Lily said turning to the rude sixth year.
"I apologize for that comment, Eliza." Jennifer said, with a sneer.
"Couldn't you have just taken away points, Lils?" Bria asked her friend.
"I could have, yes." Lily said with a sweet smile.
"But an apologize can be its own reward, as well as punishment."
"And this is why Lily is Head Girl, as opposed to you, Bree." Emma said with a slight chuckle.
"No." Bria said, vehemently, "It's because she won't play favorites. I, on the other hand, would never punish the Marauders. And Lily will punish them endlessly."
Before Lily could comment on this remark, Dumbledore stood up, commanding silence with his very presence.
"Good evening, students. I would like to begin the feast by welcoming the new students, and welcoming the old students back. I would also like to ask you to be kind and welcoming to our exchange student, transferring here from Texas U.S.A. But for now, let the sorting begin!"
At these words, Professor McGonagall stepped forward with a moderately long scroll, and began to read names from it.
After a short while, the only one left on the podium to be sorted was the blonde exchange student.
"Joplin, Rose!"
The blonde girl walked confidently up to the three legged stool, surveying all the tables, letting her eyes settle on the Gryffindor table, or to be more precise, Sirius.
She sat down on the stool, and right before the hat fell over her eyes, she winked boldly at Sirius.
"Why'd she do that?" Sirius whispered to Bria.
"How should I know?" Bria hissed back at him.
"Gryffindor!" The sorting hat's announcement shocked them both enough to cause them both to jump.
"I don't want to be near a girl who winks at me!" Sirius said, in a frantic whisper.
"Yeah, 'cause the wink is your trademark. Is that it, Sirius?" Bria asked with a slight eye roll.
"Well, yes actually. That is the problem exactly." Sirius said with a frown.
"Sigh. Canines." Bria said, turning away from him.
"Sigh. Mold." Sirius retorted, trying to turn away in suit.
"Hey! Remus! James! He called me mold! Did you hear him?" Bria asked.
"What about me?" Peter asked, indignant.
"Like you could do anything about him." Bria responded, snidely.
Before anyone could comment on this, rose walked up, and slid into the very small space between Sirius and Remus.
"Howdy!" She said in a sultry Texas drawl.
"I'm Rose. My dad Runs half the oil companies in our part of Texas. I think that is how he wrangled me a spot in Hogwarts. It didn't hurt that my mom has been crowned Miss United States in her day. Or that I've been crowned Miss Teen America three times, Little Austin twice, and Texas Princess Five times!"
As she said all of this, she was slowly inching away from a very relieved looking Remus, and toward a very scared looking Sirius.
"I suppose you could call me All American!" She said, practically sitting on Sirius now.
"Yeah, all American Ho-Bag!" Bria Muttered from her perch atop Sirius' lap.
A/N. Sorry it's been so long since our last update, y'all. I would update once a week, except my co-author and I have been having troubles getting together to write. I will update once I get back from Chautauqua, which will be the 19th. So please enjoy this one!