Chapter Eight
Cocoons and Nudist ColoniesDisclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. But we do own Bria. And we refuse to sell her. Because she is my favourite. So you can't have her. She's mine. Anyway, on to the story. We dedicate this chapter to all our reviewers. Happy birthday.
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"Peter, for the last time, they don't eat rats!" Remus said, trying unsuccessfully to pull Peter off his shoulder.
"Are you sure?" Peter asked pitifully.
"Yes, I am sure."
"Well, actually…"
"James! Shut-up!" Remus said, as Peter finally relinquished his shoulder.
"They do eat rats? I knew it! I am going to be eaten!"
"No, Peter, They only eat big annoying shaggy black dogs, and stags." Remus soothed.
"Ha, someone is screwed."
"Yes, Sirius. You are." James said, with a snort of laughter.
"Who here is a stag?"
"Shut-up!"
"Remus! He told me to shut-up! He must be punished!"
"Punish him yourself, Sirius. I am busy. And please punish him after we have successfully left the forest. Remember, this was not my idea."
They walked a time in silence. Well, silent apart from Peter's whimpering and Sirius and James's squabbling. Well, maybe not so silent. In any case, they walked.
After a time they came to the spider's den.
"Hey look!" Sirius said, walking in to the midst of the den, hands in pockets. "No spiders! Sweet."
Suddenly, a spider web landed on his face. "AH!"
"Sirius," Remus said, leaning up against a log, "James threw that."
"Oh. I totally knew that."
"Let's just get the web and go." Peter pleaded.
"I've got one!" Sirius said, triumphantly.
"Hey! I threw that! I should get credit for it!" James complained.
"Well, you should have thought of that before you threw it at me, shouldn't you?"
"Let's just go then!" Remus said. "I don't know what you guys were thinking of doing if there were spiders here."
"Okay, let's go before they get back." Sirius agreed.
Just then, a spider fell on his head.
"Oh! It's cute! I want to name it Bob." Sirius said, pulling the tiny little spider off his head.
"No, Sirius. No more naming spiders Bob."
He pouted, "Alright, let's go, then." He walked over to the log that Remus had been leaning on and set the tiny spider free. "Good bye," he said, then he added in a whisper, "Bob."
Remus pretended not to hear that. "Very good, Sirius. Now, to get out of here before Bob's mummy comes back."
"Sounds like a good plan, Moony." James agreed. Sirius stuffed the web into his pack and led the group out of the clearing and back into the forest beyond it.
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"Unfold it on my Remus' bed. He won't mind being sticky."
Before Remus could protest the web was dumped onto his bed.
"Whoa, it's huge." Peter remarked.
"Kind of the point, Pete." James tugged at the corners so that the web was fully unfolded. "We couldn't very well use a little one."
"Yeah, " Sirius said. "Otherwise it wouldn't cover the whole door."
"What door?"
"Um, Pete? What do you think the web is for, if not to cover the Slytherin common room door?"
"To eat?"
"Why would we be eating a giant spider web?"
"I dunno. I think I am hungry."
Remus pulled a chocolate bar out from under his bed. "Here, have some chocolate."
"Yay!"
"I want chocolate!" Sirius said indignantly. "When I asked you, you said you didn't have any!"
"And you went and got some from Bria."
"Your point?"
"Anyway, what are we going to do with the web until the prank?" James asked.
"Wrap Remus in it?"
"Um, no. Please refrain, Sirius."
"Aw. You'd be a cute cocoon."
"I would not be a cute cocoon."
"Let's just shove it under his bed, with the chocolate bars" James suggested.
"Bars? As in, more than one?" Sirius dove under the bed.
"Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Or we could just make Sirius the cocoon."
"Remus!" Peter said, through a mouthful of chocolate. "That is not like you!"
"Yes, but the difference is I was not really going to do it. James! Unwrap Sirius right now! I wasn't serious!"
"Heh heh." Sirius's voice came from inside the cocoon. "Sirius!"
"Let's just go to bed. " Remus said with a sigh.
"Heh heh. That's my name! Sirius." Sirius said, still laughing to himself.
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"James! You cannot bring a cocoon to breakfast!" Remus said, exasperatedly. "I do not care what you think, McGonagall will notice!"
"No she won't!" James disagreed vehemently. "He looks just the same as he always does."
"Yes, except he's wrapped in thread!"
"Well, yes. Except for that. But he did come to breakfast in thread that one time."
"Yes, and McGonagall noticed!"
"Sorry mate. No breakfast for you."
"I meant that you should unwrap him!"
"Justin! What have you done to my lovely cocoon?"
"Well, I unwrapped it."
"But why?"
"Remus said he'd tell Bria that I drool in my sleep."
"Bribery. Works every time. Remus, how devious of you."
"Why, thank you." Remus said dryly. "Now, I suggest that we go to breakfast and leave the web here in a safe place."
"Yeah," James shoved the web back under the bed, "Remember last time when Sirius wanted to start a nudists colony and showed up in the Great Hall with nothing on but a strategically placed ribbon?"
"That was most exciting, yes. McGonagall's head almost exploded." Remus remembered, as the four walked out of the portrait hole. "Although Dumbledore seemed to be very amused."
"Ack! It's Lily! Hide me!"
"James, very few people like to hide from the girls their in love with. Pray, what is wrong with you?"
"Aren't you nice Sirius?"
"I've always thought so."
"Well, you're not. Believe me."
"I am offended!"
"Well, you shouldn't be. As it's true." Bria stated, coming up from behind.
"Aren't you nice?"
"I've always thought so."
"Whoa! It's the one feeling that you can only say in French!" Peter said.
"Déjà vû." Remus told him.
"Yes, that one. Good thing someone here speaks French."
"Oui, ce n'est pas grand de pouvoir parler une autre langue et a vos amis n'a pas d'indice que vous dites? Par exemple, ' je veux baiser votre mère, vous baisant le bâtard. Vous la mauvaise odeur de merde. Pourquoi faire ne vous rentrez pas juste à la prostituée qui vous a mis au monde.' Voir, vous êtes confondu."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"Where'd Bria go?" Sirius asked, looking around in confusion.
"I think she went to breakfast without us."
"Ooh! Food!" Sirius took off for the great hall at a run, followed closely by the other Marauders.
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In the great hall…"James," Remus cajoled, piling bacon on to his plate, "You've got to eat."
"I'm not hungry." James replied, while idly pushing his food about his plate.
Sirius and Peter exchanged glances. Sirius heaved a great sigh, and threw his arm around his friend's shoulder.
"Listen, mate, you've got to eat, because if you don't, you'll become all creepy skinny like Snivellus. And then no girl will like you. Especially Evans."
James looked forlornly down the table to where Lily sat talking with Bria, who, for once, was not eating with the Marauders.
"All right. I'll eat." He said, taking a big bite of toast.
"That's it, mate." Sirius said, slapping his friend on the back. "But don't let yourself get fat either."
Just then, James felt a touch on the shoulder, and spun around to see Lily standing right behind him. (Later, James would say it had felt like the touch of an angel, but in reality, he had just thought it was one of the guys at the time.)
"Are you planning on coming to class, or are you just planning on sitting here and eating all day?" Lily asked, straightening back up.
James swallowed. "As you wish." He started to get up.
Sirius pulled him back down to the bench. "Not so fast, Prongs. You have to at least finish your toast.
James shook Sirius off, and walked away, leaving Sirius to stare after him in a state of shock.
"I don't believe it! Not even one piece of meat!" He said, staring at an unfixed point past Peter's ear. "A disgrace to the name of the Marauders! And over a bird!" His head snapped back to Remus. "A woman! A girl! A female! A member of the opposite sex!"
Yes Sirius." Remus soothed, "I know what a girl is."
That's a girl." Peter said, nodding in the direction of Rose, who had just entered the great hall, and was now making a beeline for the Marauders.
"Eep!" Sirius said, ducking under the table. "Hide me!"
Sirius popped his head back out from under the table. "Is she gone?"
"Why, Sirius Black! I haven't seen you all week!" Rose pried Sirius from beneath the table and pulled him toward her.
"Good Merlin." Sirius breathed.
The minute girl fluttered her eyelashes up at him.
"How about you walk me to class, huh?"
"Go on Padfoot," Remus said, nudging him off the bench. "We'll catch you up later."
As Rose dragged him away, Sirius made some very obscene gestures in Remus' direction, as Remus waved them off merrily.
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Go on James, talk to her! There's no one else about. What's the worse that could happen? Don't answer that.
"Er, Lily, I was wondering if you'd be willing to tutor me in Potions, because I don't like that class, so therefore, I am not doing at all well, in that class."
There was a long pause, in which Lily considered.
"James, if you're just looking for a free snog session, it's not going to happen."
"No, no! No, I really want to learn!" James protested.
Lily considered again.
"All right. Meet me in the library at eight 'o clock sharp on Thursday evening."
"Thank you! Thank you so much Lily!" James did a triumphant little jig.
"Stop! Stop jumping about!" Lily grabbed his arm. "Maybe I'd best give you some dance lessons, too, before prom."
"Prom? What prom?" James stopped abruptly stopped dancing, confused.
"The one for seventh years at the end of the school year. The one we talked about at the last prefect meeting."
"Oh! That prom! I remember. I was paying attention, I swear."
"Honestly, Potter! I don't get why you're so incapable of remember things like important things like that. What prank you pulled on the Slytherins last week? No problem. What we talked about at the last prefect meeting? Out of your head before you leave the room."
"It's not my fault!" James complained. "There are reminders of our prank all over the school for weeks! There are no reminders of what we talked about at the meeting."
They looked at each other for a long moment. Lily raised her eyebrow.
"That was a really lame excuse, you know?"
"Yes, I know. It was the best I could come up with on such short notice."
"So are all your excuses that lame?"
"Yes. Pretty much."
"However do you get people to listen to you?"
"Well, normally I'm with Sirius, so it's me or him. Which one would you listen to, given that choice?"
"You've got a point." Lily conceded.
The two continued in this manner all the way to their class. James was very pleased with their progress.
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"…And then my cousin was like, 'No! I am so totally serious!' And I was like 'No way!' You know what we should do now? We should totally make out!" Rose waited expectantly for Sirius's reply, but Sirius had tuned her out, and was humming a mournful tune.
Finally he noticed the obnoxious girl staring at him. "Sorry, wasn't paying attention to you. What was that? Something about making out with your cousin?"
"No silly! I said we should make out!" Rose said slapping his arm in what she thought was a flirtatious way.
"Er, no. That is to say, er, um, no!"
"All right, well, let's just hold hands on the way to class then!" Rose captured his hand in a death grip.
"Er, I…um, I forgot…I need…um, er, Cheese!"
And with that, he ran back towards the great hall.
When he arrived he heard Justin talking to someone he couldn't see.
"Um, Bria, I was wonder if maybe you wanted to go with me to that place, that is to say, Hogsmeade, and get a beer of the butter variety?"
Did Justin just ask Bria out? Sirius wondered to himself, after he was done unscrambling Justin's confusing sentence.
There was a long pause as Bria considered. "Well…"
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A/N. So sorry it's been this long to update. We are having an impossible time getting together to write. We do hope you enjoyed this chapter, and we have plans to update again in two weeks. And then you will get to find out if Bria is going to go out with Justin. Okay. Well, I hope you liked this chappie, and we will get a move on with our next one. P.S. We swear the next chapter has a plot. Well, mostly.