Chapter 30: Grief Becomes Anger Begets Hatred Besets Fatality
The soldiers moved further away from Gaius and Commodus, giving the two enemies plenty of room. The legionaires holding onto Ursa and Lucilla pulled them to the farthest corner of the space given the men. This would ensure the safety of the two young women no matter what. The soldier that had defended the emperor stood in front of both of them, sword at the ready to strike down Gaius should he attack them. Commodus spun the blade in one hand and circled Gaius. Gaius moved backwards fearfully, simply holding the blade in front of him. His heart beat madly inside his chest, sending a thundering pulse through the rest of his body. He had uncovered so much in the past few moments and remained comparitively calm.
He breathed as slowly as he could manage despite his pounding heart. He felt his vision begin to change with the pain he was still experiencing from the whipping he had endured. He groaned slightly, hissing as he breathed in. The pain was causing everything to become a blur. He shouted commands at his eyes and heart as Gaius continued to back away in fear. Commodus demanded them to centre themselves and remain composed for the battle to come. He drew in one more deep breath as a gust of cold air nipped at the exposed wounds. Commodus felt darkness take him. He shouted in frustration and slashed at the darkness. He suddenly felt the sword's tip touch some kind of fabric and tear it in half. As his blade moved down, the air in front of him became clear.
He was now standing in his father's tent in Germania. The old man sat bent over a parchment, writing emotionlessly. Commodus watched him in shock for a moment. He moved closer to the old man. Marcus glanced to the side, taking note of the youth. He scoffed and turned back to the parchment. Commodus cleared his throat, fighting back a torrent of sorrow.
"Father?", he whispered. Marcus continued writing. Commodus choked for a moment and inched even closer. "Father?", he repeated.
"What do you need, Commodus?", the old man rasped as he turned to face him. Commodus felt frozen in a violent combination of fear and anger. The two stared at one another silently for a moment more. Marcus chuckled cruelly and turned back to the writing. "Go back to your quarters."
"Father, am I dead?", Commodus stammered. Marcus growled softly and glared at his only heir.
"Conversely speaking, boy, the fates are not that kind.", Marcus retorted. Commodus froze again. Had his father heard the remark that he had made to Gaius a moment ago? He couldn't remember his father behaving this cruelly since he had been in his teen years. Marcus had grown comparitively mild in his twilight years. Commodus had been thankful for it, but had been unable to have a good and healthy love betwixt his father and himself. Commodus had never been quite sure of what it was that his father hated about him, but he had several theories.
"Father...", Commodus said reaching for his father's face as the old man had done after telling his son about his decision to appoint Maximus as a regent over Rome. Marcus recoiled looking a thousand times more disgusted and indignant than Commodus had at his father's gesture. Commodus felt a stab in his throat at this. He clenched his fist in mid air and growled at the man. "What did I do to you? What did I ever do to YOU!?"
Marcus laughed cruelly at his son. Commodus snarled and lowered his fist.
"You didn't believe Gracchus, did you? After all those years of wondering who you really were and why I never wanted you?", the old man spat. "You knew he was telling the truth. You always knew you were a product of a roayl whore's lusts."
"NO!!", Commodus shouteed angrily, throwing a full punch into the old man's face. Marcus flew backwards a little and then looked up at his son, laughing. "She loved you. She had nothing but love for anyone! My mother was an honourable woman!"
"She was true to the desires of her heart.", Marcus scoffed. "There's little honour in that. The heart is weak. You are weak."
"NO!", Commodus shouted madly again. He took the former ruler in one hand and lifted him in front of him. "I was always stronger! That was why you hated me! I was stronger than you! Stonger in body, in spirit, in mind, and in purity!"
"You call courting several women without fulfilling desire pure? Ha! At least having concubines is an honest way to prove your masculinity. No lies, no pretense. Courting is pointless.", Marcus remarked. Commodus tensed even more. "Pretense seems to be a prominent feature of yours. Standing proudly before the military and the senate like you truly know what you're doing under that crown. You lie to everyone around you as well as yourself."
"Stop it!", the youth shouted at the old man.
"Admit it, you serve no purpose. You should have died in Titus's stead. Titus was loved, Titus was mourned. No one will mourn for you!", Marcis snarled. Commodus dropped the old man and lifted the blade once more. He saw fire flickering around him, casting familiar shadows. It felt like being back in the chamber where he had truly met Ursa. He clenched the blade tightly and glared at his father, waiting for the right moment. "You can't even command the respect of your own wife."
"I live for Ursa Luna! That is my purpose!", he shouted defiantly. "You never knew what I will savour for a lifetime you fool!" Commodus lost all control and began to swing aimlessly at the old man. He saw pieces of marble flying to either side alongside sprays of blood. The once proud visage that was Marcus Aurelius was being diminished to nothing but rubble and gore. Commodus was somewhat confused as to why blood coursed from the stone. His father's bust and body were now in pieces on the ground. The rage within him was at its peak, making anything possible until he would mercifully lose consciousness. He stood, still swinging the sword at the pile of mangled hate and sorrow. A hand suddenly grasped his shoulder.
"Commodus, stop!", a voice shouted. Commodus whirled around and reared back to punch the intruder. He stopped immediately at recognizing the face of Ursa. She stared at him in awe and pity. He relaxed and breathed heavily and began trembling. She looked deeply into his eyes, embracing his soul with her warm gaze. "He's dead, Commodus. It's over."
The young emperor fell into his wife, weeping madly. Ursa knelt, holding onto him. Commodus allowed himself to drift away softly in her arms. She held him tightly to her and breathed quietly.
"I am strong. I am courageous. I am honourable.", he muttered. Ursa smiled slightly. "He was wrong, he was always wrong about me."
"Yes, Commodus. You are all of those things.", Ursa soothed. "Once you've gathered more of your strength we can head home."
Commodus looked up at the rest of the legionaires standing by. His eyes filled with admiration and relief at seeing Quintus and Maximus approach him. The Praetorians and soldiers that had been loyal to him gathered around the rest of the men and held their weapons aloft, as did several hundreds of citizens. Commodus smiled and regained his composure. Unfortunately, his strength did not accompany it and he remained on the ground with Ursa. Cicero forced his way through the crowd that had arrived and took hold of Ursa's shoulders. The two embraces as tightly as they could.
"Are you alright?", the young servant asked softly. Ursa smiled at him. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief and then turned his gaze forward. Cicero turned pale and looked as though he had just witnessed the merciless slaughter of a young lamb. "What on earth happened here?"
"Commodus finished him.", Ursa explained. Cicero looked over the bloody pile again before turning away.
"Thoroughly.", the young man muttered. Commodus stared at Cicero in confusion for a moment. He couldn't readily recall what had just happened. He turned and glimpsed at what Cicero was seeing. He wretched for a moment, turning his head away from Ursa to do so. Commodus squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blot out the sight of Gaius's mangled remains. He hadn't been standing before his father, he had been facing Gaius. He gripped Ursa tightly and felt a warmth overtake him. The world went dark and his mind began to rest. Cicero looked down at the youth and cocked one brow. "Well, he seems to be spent."
"We need to get him back to the palace. How is Lucius? Where is he?", Ursa asked. Cicero pointed towards the rest of the group. Lucilla stood several feet away, embracing her son as though it would be her last chance to do so. The loyal soldiers and citizens had the traitors cornered as Maximus ordered for them to be arrested. Ursa quickly told Quintus about the brave legionaire who had tried to defend the emperor. Quintus nodded and had the man seperated from the group. "Will you help me take him back?"
"Aye. He needs to see Galen. Those wounds on his back look deep.", Cicero remarked as he helped lift Commodus's lifeless form from the ground.
"They run deeper than you know, Cicero.", Ursa said sadly. She looked at the peaceful face of her beloved. She smiled and helped as they began to carry him back to the palace.
Cicero said nothing. He wondered if Commodus had told Ursa of his plans for her. Surely if she was still feeling this strongly for him then he must have. He decided it best to say nothing about it and simply walk back into the city. The group began to head slowly back for the imperial dwelling. Commodus would recover without a doubt, but Cicero wondered if Ursa would still stand beside him after this.