SIX:

HOMEWARD BOUND

FARNSWORTH

"What are you going to do about my ship?" I asked Bruno, who was sitting cross-legged on his throne of bones, the next day.

We were all standing in the king's throne room, accepting our rewards from the new king, who, in his mind only, was the rightful ruler of this awful planet. He looked pretty relaxed and comfortable with two cat servants standing to either side of his throne, fanning him with leaves.

"Man, this feels just like Star Wars!" Fry said whenever one of the cats had walked up to him and placed a medal around his neck.

After Fry's stupid remark was made, everyone received their rewards as well and the cat went back to kissing Bruno's sorry butt.

"Do you have anyone that you can contact back on Earth?" Bruno asked. Leela groaned.

"Well, there's Zapp…" she began reluctantly, but I interrupted her.

"I don't want that man touching my ship!"

"You're on your on then because I'm not fixing it," Bruno said. Fry swore.

"Why you ungrateful bastard! After all we did for you!" he shouted, advancing upon Bruno in a very sluggish and non-threatening way. It was too early in the day for Fry to be so active, if he was active any day at all.

"Calm down, Fry," Seymour suggested. He jumped in between Fry's and Bruno's path.

"There's no need for violence."

"Fine then!" Leela surrendered.

I put my face in my hands. This couldn't be happening but it was. "Just show me how and I'll contact the jerk."

"Sure thing, miss," Bruno said.

All I could do was snarl.

"Kif, answer that call!" Zapp ordered and Kif, his right-hand green alien, went to do as his captain ordered.

"Oh, Kif it's you. Where's Zapp?" Leela's voice came out of the speakers of the ship's communicator as Kif pressed a switch on the screen and the alien thought that the cyclops didn't sound too happy to see him. Not that he blamed her…

"Where else? Off being lazy and loving himself in a mirror," Kif said. Leela actually smiled.

"Well, in that case," she said, looking about the room on her screen nervously, "could you just ask him to fly his ship to a planet called Bonevald? I'll give you the coordinates for it."

Kif knew it killed her to say that. "Sure," he said, and they both terminated the conversation. Kif walked away from the communicator thinking that Zapp just had to help the Planet Express because no one else would, and it took a lot of guts from anyone to ask Zapp for help.

This meant that Leela's crew was in a very dire situation indeed and somehow Kif had to persuade his tall, stocky blond-haired captain, who was in love with himself, to go help them. What was an alien to do?

FRY

I knew Leela loathed Zapp. I hated him, too, mainly because he had had sex with her on numerous occasions but…I was actually happy to see his ship later that night as it landed next to ours.

The whole crew was standing at the base of the destroyed Planet Express Ship when Kif and Zapp stepped out of the Nimbus, looking a bit too happy.

"So what are we going to do with this piece of junk?" Zapp kicked our poor ship's hull, which lay scattered in pieces all over the ground. "Haul it out of here with U-Yank?"

"That's what everyone else does, sir," Kif said grimly. Every time I looked over at the alien I wanted to laugh.

"Yes, we'll do that," Leela grumbled, her eye narrowing in distaste at Zapp. "But first, some of us have to say our goodbyes. Fry?"

"What?" I asked, honestly not knowing what she was talking about and all of a sudden Seymour walked up behind me and bit into my leg! My bad one!

"Ow! Seymour, what was that for?" I cried, clutching my throbbing thigh while hopping around.

"Let's just say that that's my way of saying good-bye," he replied, grinning like the traitor he was.

"And this is my way!" I said, scooping Seymour up into my arms and crushing him until he started choking. Looking at everyone I asked, "Can we keep him?"

THE END