Death Bologna

Disclaimer-

I still don't own Sega, I still don't own Nintendo, I still don't own Sonic, or anything related to them. I'm on antidepressants and I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED OF MY FAILURES IN LIFE! -ugh- (Today's episode will continue as soon as the tranquilizers wear off.)

Episode II-Pizza And A Madman

"I'LL PAINT YOUR FERRETS BLUE! I'LL GIVE YOU A NASTY SERIES OF PAPER CUTS! I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT OF THIS THING I'LL PERSONALLY MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING H-Aaaah!" Amy dumped Sonic out or her backpack and onto the table where she, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, Cream, Rouge, and Sonic's lesser known third cousin with the speech impediment, the brownish hedgehog, Twiggy, sat. They were in McGristles, the best pizza restaurant this side of the pizza restaurant across the street.

"Come on, sit down. We're here." Amy gave Sonic another bonk on the head. Sonic looked around at the people staring at him and calmly yet bashfully sat into a chair next to Tails and Amy. "So, what were we talking about?"

"I was telling everyone how I was abducted by aliens again." Shadow said, as the table went quiet. "Really! I entered their ship, and there was this great light! And all I can remember was being very cold…"

"I found him in the fridge again this morning." Amy said, flicking Shadow on the head.

"Hehe… oops." Shadow sunk into his chair.

"You know… hang on a minute. HEY 6-BIT! PIZZA! HERE!" Amy shouted towards the kitchen. Just then a short, pixilated, mustachioed man wearing a red hat and overalls came by the table and dropped a pepperoni and pineapple chili cheese pizza on the table. Amy noticed him flipping one pixel in the middle of his hand up towards the table as he walked out and grumbling "ungrateful little hairy rats…"

"Excuse me."

Amy walked towards the kitchen, entering it with hammer poised and ready to bash. The party at the table couldn't help but hear the conversation being shouted from behind the swinging door.

"Ex-CUSE me?"

"What?"

"LITTLE HAIRY RATS? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!"

"Its-a me! Mari-OW!"

"Now DON'T make me have to do this again!"

Amy walked out of the kitchen, a little red hat stuck to her hammer. "Sorry about that. Now, as I was saying, you know, Sonic's been acting a little wiggy-wiggy too, lately."

"Would you STOP referring to me as wiggy-wiggy! Besides, I'm not crazy! I had a vision about Eggman using evil meat to destroy the planet!"

Once again the table went quiet. "He hasn't taken his happy pills, has he," whispered Knuckles.

"Shut up!" Sonic just then noticed that Twiggy was just about to crack up. "I'm sorry, but is there SOMETHING you need to say?" Twiggy clenched his lips together. "Come on! Spit it out!"

"Mm-nn"

"SAY IT!"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Come on, youw cwazy!" (I did mention that he had a speech impediment, right?) "Youw a few cawds showt of a bwidge touwnament!"

"Shouldn't you be at home, microwaving your cat right about now?"

"Oh, wight! See ya!" Twiggy ran out of the restaurant in a brownish flash.

"He's gone. Hallelujah."

"Who invited that nutbag, anyway?"

"Actually he just fell through the roof." Knuckles pointed to a hole in the ceiling above them.

"Oh. I see. But… how…" Sonic looked curiously at the hole in the roof. "Forget it. I don't want to know." Sonic gulped his slice of pizza down and belched loudly, knocking Rouge and Knuckles out of their chairs.

"I'm not gonna catch the 'crazies' by being belched on, am I?" said Rouge, now sporting a unique blow-dry hairstyle.

"Call me crazy ONE MORE TIME, AND SO HELP ME I'LL…" Amy held up her backpack in front of Sonic, who quietly sat back down mumbling curses against everyone to himself. The group finished eating and once again managed to stuff a kicking, screaming Sonic into Amy's backpack.

-Meanwhile, a rotund madman plots his revenge-

"Muwahaha! He can't stop me this time! Just one… more… bolt… IT IS DONE! MUWAHAHAHAHA!"

"ROBOTNIK! What in the dickens are you doing in the basement?"

"Nothing, Mother! Just playing around with some… stuff!"

"Well, stop! Dinner's ready!"

"In a MINUTE! Just WAIT for crying out loud!" He mumbled under his breath. "...always bugging me,I tell you, when I conquer the world she'll be the first to go..." Eggman flipped the last few switches. "Now, all I need to do is test it. Hmmmm… AHA!" A light bulb lit up above Eggman's head. (To be honest it was more like a candle. He isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.) Eggman pushed the final button, as lights and gizmos began flashing and moving. Suddenly, a great beam of light came shooting out of the contraption, heading out of the window, and into the sky.

-Meanwhile, in the home of Cream and Cheese the Chao, while Cream is still eating pizza and shoving Sonic into Amy's bag-

Cheese sat in his favorite chair (the one by the window and the TV) eating Doritos (which I ALSO don't own, thanks a bunch) and playing Sonic The Hedgehog. He didn't like to play, he just liked to intentionally drop Sonic onto spikes and laugh his butt off. (Do Chaos even have butts? You know what, I don't wanna know.) Just as he went through Sonic's 57th life, a strange beam of light came through the window hitting Cheese smack in the head. His pupils dilated and he dropped the controller onto the floor. An evil smile came across Cheese's face.

-Back in Eggman's mother's basement… I mean, Eggman's evil laboratory…-

"Ha ha ha… go my little Cheese… go and cause havoc… MUWAHAH…"

"ROBOTNIK! I SAID DINNER IS READY!"

"ALRIGHT! I'M COMING! I can't have a moment's peace…" Eggman trudged up the stairs and ate his mother's meatloaf with a grimace on his face, swearing to himself.

Coming up in episode III-Eggman's plan begins to unfurl, and chaos breaks out in the once-peaceful home of Cream and Cheese. Episode III-When Good Cheese Goes Bad.