Chapter 2-I Wanna Hear You Laugh Like You Really Mean it.

I've decided to continue this and make it a full maddison fic. It will be AU because it's my whole little what if scenario and stems from the night of the affair.

You sit on the couch in your apartment, cold Chinese food on the coffee table. You've always embraced the bachelor life-style. You're Mark Sloan, the player, the man who is 'making his way through all of the women in New York' as Addison had so eloquently put it the other day when you were at the Brownstone, insisting that you not watch another chick flick. You're the one who will never marry, never have children. You, in simple terms, are the anti-Derek. You're supposed to be everything he isn't, want everything that is the opposite of his aspirations. Derek wanted to fix the inner-workings of the human body, so you went for plastics, everything outside, the covering.

You aren't supposed to want what Derek wants, to crave the life that he has. So why do you?

You flip through the channels with the remote, looking for anything to take your mind off of thoughts of Addison. No, not just Addison, your best friend's wife. Correction, your brother's wife. Even you understand that she is off-limits, but it gets harder each time you pick up the phone, only to hear her broken voice as it rattles off Derek's latest excuse for leaving her alone. You had the day off today which is why you offered to accompany Addison when she told you she was going shopping, something you hardly ever agree to do. Shopping with Addison is the equivalent of running a marathon. Usually you would only make a date for lunch after she finished, but today you heard the hope in her voice as she spoke about Derek having the night off, so you smiled and told her that you would gladly be her pack mule for the day.

You watched as she bought everything new for her 'perfect night with Derek.' She said the phrase so often that now you wonder if she's just been setting herself up for disappointment. You love Derek. You've grown up with him, but you know that lately, he's put very little effort into his social life. You've been abandoned along with Addison, which is why most nights when you aren't at the hospital, you are at the Brownstone, eating whatever meal Addison prepared for her absent husband and making a point to keep the conversations between the two of you very light. You aren't ready to hear about the problems in their relationship even if you are aware of their existence. Admitting to their problems means that they are not happy together and you know you will not trust yourself around her when you finally let this truth sink in.

You've promised yourself that Addison is happy with Derek. After all, he is your opposite, which should make him the perfect family man. It is because of this that you have never tried to pursue her despite the intake of breath you have to take when she walks into the room and the way your heart rate climbs in her presence.

You haven't received a phone call from Addison tonight, so you hope that this means Derek remembers what she has planned. You don't want to hear her voice if he decides not to show up again. You listened to her ramble on about tablecloths and told her which Clash song she should have playing in the background. You listened as she went on for hours about starting over and grinned along despite the pain you felt tugging at your chest.

It doesn't take much for you to convince yourself to call her. You're only calling a friend, checking in, maybe planning lunch for the next time she's off work. You dial the number without thought, your fingers instinctively finding the right buttons. You like to think that this is because the man you've known since kindergarten lives there, but you know that it's because the woman you've spent countless hours with in the past month draws you to her. On the third ring, you can hear someone pick up, and when you hear the uneven breathing you know that it's her.

"Hello? Addi?" You call out her name to make certain, and instead of an answer, you receive a muffled noise and you know that she's trying not to break down. You're immediately up and briskly grabbing your leather jacket. You sigh before you speak into the phone once more before hanging up. "I'm on my way."

You place the phone on the end table before making your way outside, moving so fast that you don't even bother to lock the door. You slip your jacket on as you make your way down the street. You can count how many steps it takes to reach the Brownstone and you've made this journey so many times before that you are convinced you could reach the building with your eyes closed, the feel of her the only guidance you need.

You think about what she's doing at this moment. Is she sitting in the kitchen? The living room? Is she frantically wiping away the tears that you are certain are falling from her eyes? Is she thinking at all about you?

You wonder how long you've felt this way, how long thoughts of her have plagued your mind and if you're being honest with yourself, you know that it was your first day of medical school. You remember the moment with such clearness, how she rolled her eyes when you jokingly hit on her, how she laughed out loud, her fiery hair shining from the glare of the sun. You remember urging Derek to talk to her, his interest in her so obvious. And once there conversation flared up, you remember that is when the ache in your chest began.

You take the steps two at a time and don't bother to knock before you walk in and make your way to the kitchen where you hear the sobbing. What you see breaks your heart. She's on the floor and clutching so hard to the phone that her knuckles are white and even from your spot, you can hear the steady beeping of the dial tone. With one swift motion, you pull her into your arms and make your way to the living room where you place her on the couch and pry the phone from her fingers. You click end to stop the incessant drone which you know is only making her feel worse.

"Addi?" You need to hear her. You need to know that she is okay. You need to know what she wants you to do. When you see her steal a quick glance at you, you know that she is falling apart, so you sit beside her, and push away the strands of hair that are covering her face. You try to make her feel better, try to think of something to say.

"He…" you begin, but you cannot finish the sentence, or even a simple phrase concerning Derek at the moment. You hate him for what he's done to her, and you're afraid that if you speak, you'll say something of that nature and she'll either hate you for it or both of you will do something you regret.

"Why?" she pleads with you. "Why doesn't he love me, Mark?"

You want to find Derek. You'd love to go to the hospital, pull him into an on-call room and let him have it for what he's made of such a strong woman. She's amazing. She's gorgeous, successful, annoying intelligent, and yet she's weeping insecure mess at this moment because of him. Instead, you let the anger pass and pull her towards you. All you know to do is rub slow, steady circles on her back and hope that it soothes her.

"Everything will be alright." You repeat this to her and she scares you when she rips herself from your grip and stands up.

"It won't be alright. Everything is not fucking alright!"

You follow her as she moves back to the kitchen and see her as she gulps down a glass of wine and by the look of the bottle, you know she's had at least four glasses, so when you see her pour another, you take it away before she can consume it and place it on the counter. When she tries to pick it up again, you take hold of her wrists and turn her toward you and it physically hurts to see the pain in her eyes.

"Stop, Addison. Just…Stop." You're begging her now and a moment later, she sags against you.

You want more than anything for this to be just another night when Derek is at the hospital, to make some popcorn and sit in the living room with her, doing everything within your power to make her laugh, whether it be letting her in on your most recent sexual encounter which she always seems to find funny for reasons that you could never understand or even just by telling a simple corny or perverted joke. You'd give anything to see her face light up in this moment, so you take a look around the room and make an attempt to make things better. You ask her what she did to the garbage disposal and the second you say it, you know that it was wrong because she starts to cry again and you resume the circles you were drawing on her back. You don't know how long you stand like this, the only sounds in the room consisting of your breathing and her gasps and sighs as she tries to get her emotions in check. You begin to feel her pull away from you and you look into her eyes.

"What do I have to do to make him see me, Mark?"

You stare blankly for a moment because you have no idea what the right answer is and before you have a chance to react, her lips are on yours. Your first reaction is to pull back. She is Derek's wife, but for just a second you bask in the beauty of her and once you feel her, you know that you won't be able to stop yourself. You've dreamt of this moment for far too long, what it would feel like to breathe her breath, how soft her lips would be. Now that the kiss is growing more intense, the world could fall down around you, but you would continue on, your emotions too strong, your vision too clouded by her soft features, your hands lost in her silky hair.

You stumble across the kitchen and when you reach the foyer, you pull your leather jacket off and let it fall to the floor, and watch as she maneuvers her blouse off and it floats down to meet your clothing. She pulls you up the stairs and now you're making your way to their bedroom and you know you should feel something other than insane amounts of happiness and love, but you just can't seem to. That feeling fades though when Addison lay rigid beneath you and you follow her eyes to a very angry Derek standing in the doorway. You immediately jump up and reach for your clothes and once you have your jeans on, you take a look at Derek and are actually scared to see the look in his eyes as he stares at Addison. You aren't certain of what he's capable of at the moment, but you aren't willing to take chances, so you stand in front of Addison, ready and willing to fight your best friend if need be.

After a moment, she assures you that she is fine and that it's best if you leave so you reluctantly grab your t-shirt and walk out of the room, stopping briefly in the hallway to listen before you leave the house. You slip your shirt on and deem the rain that falls a perfect addition to the evening. You wander around the block for a good ten minutes, not yet willing to go home. You need to make sure that she is okay. You don't think that Derek would ever physically hurt her, but then again, you were certain that he would be the man that made her happy and here you were tonight, walking in the rain, after just having sex with what would be your best friend's wife.

Your heart can't stand to wait any longer so you walk back to the brownstone and as you get closer, you see the array of colors in front of the building which you soon recognize as Addison's clothing. You gather it up and carry it up the stairs and walk into the house, your damp shoes squeaking against the hardwood. You place the clothes in a pile before you make your way to her, now lying on the floor in nothing but one of Derek's old shirts. "I'll pay for the dry cleaning." You feel like you should say something, but for some reason, this is all you can manage.

You kneel beside her and place your hands on either side of her face, willing her to look at you.

"I was wrong."

She says this so simply that you're afraid you've just lost the one person you value above everything else. You give her a look that urges her to continue.

"He doesn't love me."

As soon as she says this, she falls into your arms and you are both relieved and heartbroken by her statement. You silently place kisses in her hair and try to soothe her in any way you can. You know that this isn't the ideal situation, but maybe this is the beginning of everything you've ever wanted.

You realize in this moment that you and Derek are opposites.

Derek pushed her away. You will never let her go.

Derek exchanged her for the hospital. You will exchange the hospital for her.

Derek broke her.You will piece her together.

Derek's love dwindled. Yours has only grown stronger.

Derek has made her cry. You will do everything to make her laugh like she means it.

I'm not too sure about the ending, but overall I'm pleased.