Death Bologna

Another disclaimer-

Just to remind you, I do not own Sega, Sonic, Nintendo, Doritos, Sony, Dell, Justin Timberlake… (3 hours later) …Bed Bath and Beyond, any of the Osmonds, Ty-D-Bol, Jiffy Pop… (several decades later) …Kodak, Charmin, or Drew Carey. Phew!

Episode III-When Good Cheese Goes Bad

Cream left first from McGristles, after the belching but before the puking. She climbed into Shadow's car, hotwired it, and drove towards home. (And you thought you knew Cream.) "Eh, Shadow can walk home. I think he needs to air his brain out anyway." She pulled into her driveway, unlocked the front door, and walked in to some... unusual sounds. "Hello-oh! Cheese! I'm home!"

"Hehe..." -crash- "Grrr" -smash-

"Hey, Cheese! I'm... HOLY $#&!" Cream looked at her living room, or, at least, what was left of it, in shock. Everything was either in disarray or in pieces. And at the center of the disaster was Cheese, sporting an evil smile and an even evil-er (?) laugh. "What… why… how could you do this?"

"Hahahaha!" Cheese said, in a deep booming voice.

"HOLY $#&!"

"Stop that! Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Come to papa!" Cheese said, jumping onto Cream's head.

"HOLY (muffled angry expletives)!"

-Note: A comic license has been taken here. I'm sure that Cream would never hotwire a car in real life, or swear, or kill Britney Spears with a sharpened bar of soap. (Actually, scratch that last one.) Just keep an open mind.-

-At the home of Sonic-

"GET ME OUT OF HERE! I'LL EAT YOUR UNCLE LEROY! I'LL SHOVE GARLIC UP YOUR NOSE! LET ME…Owww! You don't have to keep putting me in the pack, you know!" Sonic picked himself up off the floor.

"Well, you were being crazy. And crazy people ride in the pack."

"Grumble… stupid… I'm not crazy…" Sonic stomped loudly up the stairs.

"Tails, I have to go. Do you think you can handle Sonic for now?"

"Sure. I guess so." Amy handed Tails her backpack.

"Just in case, you know." Amy winked and walked out the door. "Oh, and if you do need to do some packin', put him in head first, 'kay?"

"Right." Tails mimed stuffing the bag onto Sonic's head, then gave Amy a thumbs-up. Amy smiled and walked out the door. Tails put the bag on the kitchen table and went to the fridge in search of something to take the edge off of that pizza from McGristles.

"Where... are those blasted eggs..." -Thonk- "OW!" Tails fumbled around the fridge, and, after 3 minutes of flying and falling food, located the eggs. He began to fry the eggs (after ANOTHER 3 minutes of dodging falling kitchenware in an attempt to find the frying pan,) when the phone, which was approximately 5 inches from Tails' head, rang loudly, causing Tails to jump up and get his head firmly lodged in the overhanging cupboard.

"Sonic! Phone!" Tails yelled from inside the cupboard. Sonic slowly trudged down the stairs and walked into the kitchen, where he proceeded to answer the phone and yank Tails out of the cupboard at the same time. Tails brushed the broken wood off of him and continued with his eggs.

"Grumble… stupid phone… -click- hello?"

"HOLY $#&!"

"Cream? Is that you?"

"CHEESE IS ATTACKING ME! HE'S TURNED EVIL! HE'S GIVING ME A WEDGIE! HELP! -click-."

"Cream? CREAM? Tails! Get the others! There's a problem at Cream's! Evil Cheese! GO!" Sonic ran out the door at the speed of light, arriving at Cream's house in just under12 seconds. (He stopped to get a chili dog first.) Within 5 minutes, everyone, including Twiggy, was at Cream's house in a state of awe. However, Twiggy was tossed out the door before he could cause any more trouble.

"Help! Someone save me! Sonic! Tails! Amy! Twiggy… HEY, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" Cream yelled as she was whacked with Cheese's tiny fists of fury.

"Okay, I'll help you!" Amy said. "Cheese, attack Sonic!"

"What the… AHHHH!" Cheese jumped off of Cream and onto the stunned blue hedgehog.

"Thanks, Amy."

"So, do you know what caused this?"

"No, I just came home and found him like this."

"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! OW!"

"Weird. Hey, what's that?" Amy went towards the weird ray of light coming from the window.

"I don't know."

"I SAID HELP ME! PLEASE! HELP THE DYING HEDGEHOG! OWWWW!"

"Hmmm." Amy put her hand into the light, and then stepped fully into it. Her pupils dilated.

Rouge stepped towards Amy. "Amy? Are you okay?"

Amy smiled slowly. "KILL THE BLUE HEDGEHOG!"

"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"

"Uh oh." The group watched as Amy and Cheese began double-teaming Sonic. Knuckles began eating some popcorn.

"TAILS! CREAM! SHADOW! KNUCKLES! HELP! HE… ARE YOU EATING POPCORN?GET OFF YOUR FAT, LAZY, FURRY BUTT AND HELP ME!"

"Oh, fine." Knuckles picked up the kitchen table and smashed it over the three of them. "Are you happy now?" Cheese and Amy were unconscious. Sonic was woozy, bruised, bleeding, fractured in areas, covered in lumps, and suffering mild brain damage, but other than that okay.

"So, that light makes people evil. I'll bet any money that Eggs-For-Brains has got something to do with this."

"Duh-uh!"

"That's it! The dream! He plans to turn a hunk of meat evil to conquer the world!"

"Well, now that we know what power Eggman's got, I say we go thwack him."

"Yeah, let's whack the cwap out of Wobotnik!"

"TWIGGY, GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Sowwy…" Twiggy trudged out the door.

"Now as I was saying, let's go find Eggman before he does something nasty with meat."

"Agreed." The group walked out of Cream's house leaving Amy and Cheese under the kitchen table.

"Hey, is that my car in your driveway?"

"No. Come on. Let's go." They headed towards the house of the only person who knew and would tell of the location of Eggman's hideout: Davy Sprocket. (Dum dum duuuuuum!)

Coming soon in episode IV-The gang meets up with a familiar robot, and Eggman continues his evil meat plot. Episode IV-Interview With A Crossed Wire