Authors note: this is a parody based on snow white
Disclaimer: nope I don't own the characters except one.
Snow blonde numbah 4
Evil queen father
Magic toilet toilenator
Butcher delightful children from down the lane
Flirty numbah 3
Nosy numbah spy (yup he's mine)
Bitchy numbah 86
Bossy lizzie
Obsessed numbah 1
Sporty numbah 5
The prince wouldn't you like to know
Ahem
Once upon a time…
… in a land far away , you know like real far farther than.. Texas !
there lived a beautiful princess her skin was as white as snow and her hair was …blonde, so she was named snow blonde she lived in a beautiful castle, yea its beautiful too, but she didn't live alone she lived with a NOT so beautiful evil queen , every day the queen would go to her magic toilet and she'd say:
magic toilet under my knee
who's the fairest from here to the sea
and gurgling noise would reply " you are master …. Oh yea, and your running out of toilet paper"
each day she would go through the same routine while puffing her flaming pipe and reading the newspaper
until one day when snow blonde had turned sixteen the toilets answer changed this time it rudely pushed the queen off his seat and said: "not you , snow blonde is now the prettiest, oh snow blonde, I wish she'd date me ,then I can be known as a true evil villain hahaha" he pushed the flusher handle thing and disappear swirling into his lair.
The queen was outraged! How could snow blonde be the prettiest? Did she have an evil dark billowing cloak? No she did not! Did she wear evil high-heels? No! did she wear pink panties ? o0 well maybe…
After finishing her rant the queen had an evil idea she would get rid of the princess! she couldn't hire a real assassin, they cost money, dirty scoundrels they're worse than lawyers! So she decided to hire a… butcher
The local butcher was a strange creature indeed ,he was strange in the fact that there was 5 of him ,they speak and move around in sync so I can only assume they're one person some sort of horrible Siamese un-twin 2/5 -ths of which was female
" I would like you to kill that snow-blonde ,she's getting in the way of my beauty"
" ummmmmm yessss" they replied in monotone
"and bring me locket of her hair as proof" ordered the queen
"don't you want her heart as proof?" the confused 5 headed butcher asked
"what! Eeeew! No! that's disgusting! plus I've always wanted a locket of snow blonde's hair. She's so pretty 3" replied the evil queen
"………………." Said the first head
"…………………."said the second head
"……………………0-0"said the third head
"I think she's pretty too!" said the fourth head
"0v0;………….." said the fifth head
"what do we do now?" asked the evil queen
"umm throw our heads back and laugh?" replied the butcher
so they threw her heads back and laughed "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
there end of first chapter!