Snow blonde numbah 4
Evil queen father
Magic toilet toilenator
Butcher delightful children from down the lane
Dwarves:
Flirty numbah 3
Nosy numbah spy (yup he's mine)
Bitchy numbah 86
Bossy lizzie
Obsessed numbah 1
Sporty numbah 5
The prince wouldn't you like to know
The princess stood in front the dwarves home, dwarves home?! This place was huge! Thought the princess the people who lived must be huge at least taller than him and since the princess considered herself really tall they must've been giants! So he went inside to find giant chair giant portrait giant axes and in a giant bedroom six giant beds in a row carved on them were names more like personalities starting from obsessed and ending with sporty he wondered about these dwarf impersonating giants what kind of mining they do and what songs they'd sing while doing so when to his ears came a chanting melody:
Fee fi fo fum
It's back from work we come
And the door opened "well, sporty thinks obsessed was to obsessed with the gouda and didn't concentrate enough on the mozzarella" the tall dwarves came in.
And a black haired Japanese dwarf spoke up saying "why do we even work in a cheese mine it's hard to attract boys when you smell like cheese!"
Sporty nodded agreeing "sporty hears that!"
And the bald one called obsessed shook his head "we have to protect the cheese from the adults flirty!"
"We are adults!"
obsessed gasped "GASP!!!"
a red haired one spoke up screaming in a high pitched screech that could break glass "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING! WE'RE NOT ADULTS WE'RE TEENAGERS!! STOP MAKING ME LOOK OLD. SPORTY!"
gasp(squared)!!!! "that's even worse!" said obsessed.
The princess stared open mouthed at the spectacle before her until she got flung back to reality when she felt someone kissing her hand.
"to what do I owe the pleasure to a princess in our humble abode?" said a dwarf clad in a black trench coat hat and sunglasses who wears sunglasses indoors? Except obsessed of course but he doesn't count on account of being insane.
The first thing the princess did was punch him in the face "keep your mitts off! Ya scunner!(1)"
And all the other dwarves who weren't paying attention noticed him for the first time.
Obsessed screamed his head off "spy!! Spy!!"
"yes?" replied the Casanova with a black eye.
Obsessed pointed at him and screamed even more "I thought you were called nosy!!!"
"why do you think I'm called nosy"
and while obsessed was screaming traitor! Traitor! Sporty pushed him aside and approached the princess.
"what's this another princess? If sporty had a quarter for every princess runnin' through the forest she'd live in a condo! Lemme guess your evil aunt or somethin' is jealous of yo' beauty and wants to kill you?"
"she is?" asked the princess "wotever I aint scared of her ..um or him"
"then why're you here?"
"someone said they'd give me butterscotch and they didn't cruddy liars"
"okaayyy"
obsessed pushed sporty aside "do you work for the CIA, FBI, MIB (men in black), or any other secretive organization? Like the Barbie company!?
"do I look like ai work for the Barbie company?!"
"well.." obsessed paused "you are wearing a dress"
"that's it!" yelled the princess grabbing the dwarf by his shirt and shaking him.
"Nigel obsessed uno! What do you think your doing?" spat a rotund dwarf
"uuuh im not doing anything bossy sweetheart… eheheheh" protested obsessed
"I come back from the cheese mines to find you in some hussy's hands!!" she screamed
"oi! oi!oi! I aint no hussy!" snow blonde shouted, dropping obsessed to the floor "and I don't like bald people!"
"I'm not bald!" protested obsessed
"oh then whot are yeh?"
"I'm thinning" replied obsessed
"you don't have a single hair on your chrome dome YOUR BALD GENIUS!!"
"but he's my genius" crooned bossy wrapping her hands around obsessed neck hugging him
"so are you going to stay with us?" giggled flirty wrapping her arms around snow blondes waist alluringly
"eh! I dunno" blushed snow blonde
"of course her highness is staying with us, we can't just throw her out into the woods now can we" smirked nosy
"whot! Really!?" exclaimed snow blonde happily
"yup" grinned nosy, behind him sporty nodded, and bitchy gave an angry nod
"isn't that great" exclaimed flirty
"eheh I guess it is" giggled snow blonde
"aaah snow blonde is dead.. finally!" sighed the evil queen taking a seat on the toilet
"ahem" coughed a voice underneath him
"whaaat?! What is it magic toilet? Can't I relieve my self without you bugging me!!?"
"well aren't you gonna ask me that question!?" giggled the toilet
"what?! Why now?"
"well I just wanted to see the look on your face, sadly I'll have to settle with the look on your posterior" the toilet gurgled somewhat sadly
"what are you talking about?!"
"… humph"
"very well… magic toilet that stares at my rump… who is the fairest from here to yonder stump?"
"can't you be more specific?" gurgled the toilet somewhat annoyed
"what do you want from me I'm constipated!?"
"fine" huffed the toilet " snow blonde is still the fairest"
"whaaaaaaaat?!" screamed the evil queen
authors note: I know I put a lot of horrible images in your mind with that last part! I'm sorry to all who have nightmares about fathers flaming butt
please review
(1) nac mac feegle reference numbah 4 reminds me of one , nac mac feegle (C) terry pratchett