Rated: M

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like writing about them

Chapter Sixteen

The serene expression on her face made him realize the knot that tugged in his gut for days had finally disappeared. The helplessness and guilt were finally fading away. True he was just back-up tonight and when Gabriel ran from the house into Miranda's arms all he could do was stand there and give a silent thanks to whatever Powers Sammy liked to spout nonsense about. For once he didn't mind. Seeing the joy in Miranda's smile was enough to make even a cynic like him reconsider the possiblity.

Granted he'd probably feel different in the morning, but for the remainder of the night it was just fine.

Dean watched Miranda tuck Gabriel into the large bed, brush a thick lock of hair from his forehead and fell for her all over again.

A memory of his mother flickered briefly in his subconscious before he could stop it. A loving hand brushing over his skin much like Miranda's had for her son. It was more feeling than an actual moment he could truly recall but it still had the power to shake him to the core. Perhaps this was part of the reason Miranda had crawled so deeply inside him. Her tenderness brought back memories of a better time in his life.

The ride back to Jason's house was silent, different than most of the silences that had filled the car during the times he had ridden in it. They had picked up another passenger as well. Faith rode shot gun curled up next to Sammy. Seemed those two had jumped past the flirting stage. Judging from the heated looks he had observed passing between them as they climbed in the Impala, they planned to get down to the naked and sweaty portion of the program real soon.

For the first time in all of his years on the rode he felt just a little peace. Sure this was the easy part and every instinct he relied on to keep him alive was telling him that this Lamashtu was going to be damned difficuilt to beat down, but the peace was nice.

"He's asleep," Miranda's soft voice pulled him from the rare introspection. Time had passed faster than he realized as he straightened from the wall by the small window where he had been leaning, half watching her, half inside his own thoughts.

After coming inside, Miranda's total focus was on Gabriel, though she had looked at him with that quiet but expectant gaze including him. So he watched in silence as she ran a bath for her son, not missing the little choked sigh she held back when she realized that he would do this alone.

Gone was the five year old who hadn't minded his Mom sitting in on bathtime for a while, to be replaced by a quiet boy who had already let go of that ritual. She tried to hide how much that hurt, scurried along to the bedroom they would temporarily share with the pretense of finding him something to sleep in.

And he hadn't missed that little tinge of hurt when Gabriel had asked if he could share a room with Connor.

He had tried to explain it away, Gabriel trusted Connor, they had literally been through hell together, it was natural that Gabriel would look to the older boy. That didn't help at all, given the lone tear that streaked down her jaw before she hastily swiped it away.

"What am I going to do, Dean?" She whispered in deference to the sleeping, "He's changed so much, been through so much, all without me. Two years. I missed two years of my baby's life when it's been mere days for me. Days Dean. And no matter how hard I wish, nothing I do will ever give them back to me."

She came to him then, and he gathered her close, drawing in a hard breath because there was nothing he could say or do to make this right for her. If he felt this helpless, he couldn't imagine the pain she was enduring.

"The one person I would do anything to protect and he suffered through something I can't even imagine. He suffered alone." Resting her forehead against his chest, he felt more than heard her release the next shaky breath,"I failed him Dean, I failed my son."

"How the-" he caught himself, as his voice threatened to rise and wake the boy a few feet away, "How the hell do you figure that?"

"It's my responsiblity to keep him safe. It's my responsiblity to protect him and I didn't do either. What kind of mother can't keep her own child-"

"Keep her own child from being snatched into another dimension by a evil bat bitch from hell? And what part of the parenting manual is that decree written?"

"Dean," she rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious Miranda," frowning he grasped her shoulders lightly, determined that she understand that none of this was her fault. "You were dragged into a life beyond anything you could have expected by a man that you trusted. He betrayed that trust and you did the best you could to survive a screwed up situation. None of this is your fault. If you don't believe anything else, you believe that. You're a good mother."

"But-"

"Who was the first person Gabriel ran to?"

A soft smile touched her lips but faded away under her distress, "I was."

"That should tell you a lot, baby. Two years, and the first person he wanted, the person he needed was you. His mother." She glanced away nibbling at her bottom lip, as if still unsure if she should believe his words. As he carefully massaged her arms, he resolved to ensure she did.

Just not tonight. "I'm going to let you and Gabriel get some rest."

"No," she took his hands before he could leave, "Dean, I want you to stay with me tonight."

"Look, you and Gabriel have been through a lot tonight, last thing he needs is to wake up and find his mother with some guy."

"You're part of the reason that I was able to bring my son home. If it weren't for you, I don't know what I would have done." She looked down at their joined hands, then back to his face, "If it weren't for you I don't know if I would have made it through all of this. I don't know what happens next but for tonight, I need you here with me."

She walked him over to the other bed and sat down on the edge, "Tonight, here in this room, everything is perfect and I need it to stay that way for a while longer. I need to be in your arms when I wake up and get ready to face the next day. Even if it doesn't last, I need tonight. With you."

There were no words he could think of to argue with that, considering it was exactly how he was feeling. So he just nodded for her to slide to the center of the bed and joined her, their bodies spooning together almost as if she were made for him.

"Miranda?" Her fingers tighening around his hand was the only response he recieved but he knew she was listening. "I don't know what happens next but I want this to last." The words were quiet, barely above a whisper but from the deepest part of his soul. "There is a lot you don't know about me, the things I've done. I just want you to think about, hell, I don't know if I even have the right to ask this but I want you to think about us. Together."

"Given the things I've seen, I'm know there are things in your past that are hard but Dean, I don't want you to think you have to be with me out of obligation. Or because you feel responsible for me and Gabriel. And that's another thing, we're a package deal."

He had thought about it, imagine his suprise when the idea of being a father hadn't turned him in the opposite direction or quite scared him shitless as it once would have. "Nice package," he finally answered, allowing himself the moment of brushing against the skin of her neck, inhaling that soft scent that made him hungry and contented all at the same time.

xx

After the shortest shower she'd ever taken, Kady hurriedly dressed in her pajamas and rushed to the training room, knowing her father would be down there. He was so quiet all during the time at the hospital that she knew something was on his mind. He would keep it to himself mostly and while part of her worried about him, she knew that he was okay and she didn't need the Powers to tell her that. Worried about the kitsune, about Lamashtu, worried about all the people here at their house but when hadn't her father ever accepted the lion's share of responsibility.

When they returned from the hospital, the house was a mass of chaos, people needing to clean up, Cordelia getting Connor settled into his room before he passed out. It was almost six now but she was pretty sure they would all be sleeping in today. The silence in the house was nice. It was different than when it was the three of them, she would miss it when their new friends left.

She found him standing in front of the weapons case with the sword he brought back from the corridor. The spear he had orignally taken through the door was gone. It was different than all the other weapons. This one was just for him. Only for him. Just as Faith's tomahawks were now only for her. Something about those Waste Lands had stripped away the thin veneer that kept their true selves hidden from the world. At the time she hadn't realized when they walked back through the door it wouldn't return.

Her father had obviously showered and changed for bed as well, given his still damp hair and the navy cotton pajama bottoms and tank he wore. The sword caught the light, gleamed cold steel, as he twisted it nimbly in his grasp. The whistle of the blade cutting through the air cautioned the wary as if to say both sword and owner were just as deadly as they appeared to be. Champion or no, he would always be simply, her Dad.

"It's getting late." Of course he knew she was standing here, "Shouldn't you be up in bed?"

"Yeah," she padded further down the stairs, watching as he opened the glass and set the sword inside. "I just wanted to see you first."

"I was coming up." Though he really didn't need to say because she knew he would, just as always. He hesitated after closing the case, drawing in a deep breath and finally turning around. Without even thinking she ran to him, giving a sigh of relief when he easily lifted her into his arms. "It's okay, Kady, you can let go now." he told her over and over.

It was hard sometimes being strong, keeping a brave face when all she wanted to do was hide. Here with her Dad, she knew she would always be safe to do so. When the tears came, she wasn't ashamed of them.

"Better?"

Jason drew a strand of hair away from his daughters pink face, in the process wiping away another tear. They were upstairs now, going through their usual nightly routine of tucking her in. He thought as she grew older, it would be something she grew out of, but she told him it made her have good dreams. Given the visions, if all it took was him fixing a blanket and kissing her forehead to make her feel secure, he was more than happy to.

Feeling her cry always ripped through his gut. Especially the ones like tonight. Silent. So powerful they made her slender body quake. Her little fingers clenched so tight as she trusted him to make everything better. Sometimes it broke his heart that she was forced to be so strong and it killed him that he still didn't know how to make things better. If he could make things right, he would remove this curse from her, give her the normal life that most kids had.

"Yeah," she smiled, shifting more comfortably into her pillow. "Looks like everyone is asleep."

He tilted his head, closing his eyes for a moment, there were still stirrings in the house. The scent of sex hit his nose, but otherwise the house was still. "Looks like."

"I guess they're here to stay."

"What?" He looked down at her, stilling when she lifted a hand to his mouth and he realized what she was talking about. The fangs. How to tell her those weren't the only changes. The enhanced senses were the biggest change. Sounds traveled faster to his ears, smells stronger. Spinelli would probably say if his senses were a computer, he would say they had just been through a major upgrade.

He must be tired if he was using Spinellisms.

"I guess so." He was just pleased his eyes were physically back to normal. It was one thing for his vision to be affected, no one could tell that just from looking at him.

"They're not so bad," Kady smirked, "Not as long as they were either, otherwise Grandma would have said something. You can only tell if you smile." Which he didn't do all that often around outsiders anyway. "I can't wait to hear Mom's reaction."

Explaining most of what happened tonight was going to be difficult enough. He sure as hell wasn't looking forward to Carly's dramatics. "Maybe, she won't notice."

They looked at each other in silence, before Kady giggled. It was a warm sound that almost erased the tension around her eyes. "Only if you never open your mouth again. Mom notices everything."

"Yes she does." A yawn escaped before she could stop it, stretching wide and making him smile. "Time for bed monkey. Don't worry about training, school or anything, you just get some rest."

"But what about-"

"Rest," he cut her off, "Tommorrow evening is soon enough to start thinking about the Powers. Tell them I said to shut up for a few hours."

"Okay," she agreed, her eyes already drifing shut. "Goodnight, Daddy."

"Goodnight, Kady." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead completing their ritual as he shut off the lamp on her bedside table. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Somehow he wasn't surprised to open the door to his bedroom and find Cordelia sitting in the center of his bed. The last thing he needed at the moment was rest. The adrenaline pulsing through his body would probably keep him up several more hours. He had planned to meditate since sleep was unlikely only it looked like Cordelia had other ideas.

At some point she had changed into wine tinted gown that jacked his already active senses into the stratosphere. How the hell was he supposed to think straight, let alone keep his hands off her? That silk hid nothing, giving him an eye full of the seductive curves she unknowingly offered up to him for his visual pleasure. He licked his suddenly dry lips, drawing in her scent, rich and feminine that made his heartrate accelerate.

"I waited for you," her husky voice filled the air, practically vibrating off his senses. She shifted, all that dark wavy hair falling over one shoulder, drawing his eyes to the lush breasts pressed against the lace and silk.

"How is Connor?"

A brief moment of saddness touched her hazel eyes, then went smoky again. He didn't need to see that revealing moment to know she was aroused. The scent of her was going to drive him mad. "Settled in. Asleep when I left. He heals incredibly fast. I give him a couple of days before he's back to normal."

If he stayed all the way over here, they might be able to carry on a conversation. If he moved forward one step, he would be on her and though on her, in her, all over her was where he ached to be, he should probably make sure she felt the same first. "That's good."

He looked around the room, trying to take the edge off the heat climbing across his skin, sweeping through his blood. If he continued to look at her, he broke the thought off trying not to remember the way she tasted back at the hospital. Now that he was half a step back, he could be grateful for Spinelli's interruption. If they had kept on at the rate passion was pushing them, he would have thought nothing of taking her right there up against the wall.

Not exactly the way a first time should go.

"Maybe I was wrong." Her voice filter into his thoughts and as he looked back from the body his hands was practically itching to touch, he realized she must have been speaking for some time now.

"Wrong about what?"

The worry faded to amusement, "No, I wasn't wrong after all. Look at you, you're practically shaking."

"Are you making fun of me?" She twisted him in knots constantly. Berating him one moment, teasing him the next. Making him smile. Infuriating him. Life was never boring around Cordelia Chase.

"Yes," but he could hear the heat in that one word. It told him that he wasn't alone in these feelings. "As strong as you are, I don't think you need to hold up the door, that's what the hinges are for."

"It's keeping my hands off you," was his blunt reply.

"What if I want your hands on me?"

His eyes rolled back in his head as he bumped it hard on the door, making her chuckle low in her throat. "We need to talk."

"Do we have to do it first? I mean couldn't we talk, you know, afterwards?"

"It's probably not a good idea for me to touch you now," he managed through gritted teeth. "I've never made love to anyone, with this much of the kitsune's energy in me. I'm not exactly in control right now. And being in here with you, looking like that," he couldn't help the long breath he dragged into his lungs, "Smelling like that, I don't know what might happen."

A grimace creased his features as his ears focused in on the sound of her getting up. It was almost painful, that swish of silk on the satin of her skin. The feeling of her heat getting closer. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that she was a mere breath away.

"You would never hurt me."

"Never," he vowed fiercely, "But I don't want to scare you."

Stomach muscles flinched at the soft trace of her hand, his body leaning forward as she lifted the cotton tank from his skin, silently emploring her to take it off, even as that last remaining bit of good sense told him he should be telling her to wait a minute. Let him catch his breath, calm down, grab a hold of something before he snapped in two like a brittle dry twig under the force of this raging hunger.

"You don't scare me."

This time he had to see her, when he opened his eyes, he didn't need her soft gasp of breath to know his eyes had changed again. "You should be." A groan of pleasure escaped as her fingers caressed down the length of his sides, "I'm scaring the hell out of myself."

"Why?"

"I've never felt like this." No longer able to resist, he lifted shaky hands to the bare skin of her arms. "It's like something in me is awake now and it wants you."

"Wants me," she murmured, lashing slowly drifting downward. Cordelia tilted her head to the side as his hands slid upward into her hair, practically purring with pleasure.

"Wants to claim you," he told her. "I'm hungry Cordelia and you're standing here offering yourself up to me and I'm too damned close to taking it. You have to understand Cordelia, I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know what will happen if I give in."

"Jason stop talking."

Desire pulsed hard, telling him to just shut up and do what she said. To give in and take everything she unknowingly offered. "Can't," he tried one last time. "You have to be sure you won't regret this. I don't want to make love to you and then afterwards you realize that we leapt much too far too fast. I can't risk Kady that way. I can't make this choice without some hint of what happens next. There is more at stake here than just you and me."

The frown that creased her brow said she was finally thinking beyond the two of them. Kady. To Connor, the son she had just found. "I hate being responsible," she groaned, lowering her head, the misery in her voice made him hurt. Carefully he pulled her into his arms, moaning at the feel of her, at the perfect way she fit against his body.

Something howled inside him at being recaged for the moment. He matched his breathing to hers, feeling her racing heart begin to slow it's pounding against his chest as they gradually reached a point of greater control. "So I guess we should talk," she muttered into his shoulder.

Trying not to flinch at the feel of her lips on his skin, the warm fan of her breath, "Yeah, we should."

"You first," her fingers clenched on his back, "My head is a big pile of mush right now."

Nudging her gently with his stiff erection he would have laughed if he could find the humor in the situation. "Not exactly thinking clearly here either."

She released a soft mewling sound as she trailed her lips up the length of his neck. Squirming closer. Making him press a hand to the small of her back, down to cup her ass and grind her heat against him. "We should be talking right?" Cordelia asked before nipping at his chin and looking into his eyes. "You know, I can't decide if they're more beautiful this way or normal."

"What?" he grunted absently, too busy enjoying the press of her breasts against him, the brush of her taut nipples that made him want to taste.

"Your eyes. I can't decide if they're more beautiful with those flecks of black in them, or just the plain blue." Her words made him widen the eyes she was admiring. "The blue is beautiful," she trailed a finger down the side of his face, "But when you look at me like this, I don't know, it's like you're calling to me and something in me answers."

"I should tell you about the kitsune." He should put some space between them, but his body didn't seem to want to listen. Useless, he grunted inwardly, and simply lifted her into his arms, carrying her back to his bed.

"You have to know how sexy that is," she grinned, that bright beautiful smile that filled him with warmth.

"How sexy what is?"

"How you just lift me into your arms like that. I'm not little, I mean, I know I'm tall but you just lift me up like it's nothing. Sexy. Combine that with those eyes, and that reluctant smile of yours and how am I supposed to resist that?"

"This coming from the woman who has me panting after her like a kit." He muttered as he climbed onto his bed. placing her in the center, he lay between her legs, resisting the urge to place his mouth on hers. That would take things much too far. He knew he was pushing his limits, but he couldn't stop touching her. If he couldn't make love to her, at least he could touch her. Her skin. Her heat. Surround himself with her scent. Mark her with his. He was thinking more and more like the kitsune sealed within him.

"A kit?"

"And that brings me back to Mura."

"Mura?" Then she rolled her eyes, "I'm starting to sound like a broken record here. Who is Mura."

"Mura is the kitsune that was sealed within me about eight years ago. A fox demon. Well technically, the spirit of a six-tailed fox demon."

"Someone sealed the spirit of a demon in you?" At his nod she shouted, "Why!"

"Shh," he lay a finger on her lips. The last thing he wanted was an interruption. They needed this time alone.

"Why would someone do something like that to you!" She demanded but in a quieter voice.

"It was a gift."

"A gift?" her disbelief clear, "A fox demon is supposed to be a gift?"

"Well yes. Mura isn't evil Cordelia. She's grumpy sometimes and a bit of a know it all, but not evil."

"She? How do you know it's a she? You can speak to her?"

"Only in extreme circumstances, usually it's just a sense of knowing. Techninically, she's dormant most of the time. If I'm hurt, I can activate the seal and she'll heal me. She enhances the abilities the Powers gave me, which is what you see, those black markings in my eyes. It was always a possiblity of our essences combining, which is what happened back in the Waste Lands. It isn't complete now, but someday it will be. I don't really know what happens then. Right now it's just the fangs, the stronger senses."

"How did this happen to you?"

"It's a long story." A very long story that happened when he was in a very dark place. He had left Port Charles, left Kady, because he had been near a breaking point. Going to his sensai in Japan had seemed best, though that's not what he told everyone else. Almost two years he stayed away, with only visits from his daughter. Time that changed his life forever. Cordelia grunted and shoved at his chest, so that he rolled over, then lay on him this time, obviously getting comfortable.

"Then start talking buster, especially if you want to hear my life story before the others wake up."