Always Been You
Chapter 2: Realizations Confirmed
Disclaimer: Same as the last chapter.
The walls of the school were being plastered with the school's colors. Homecoming posters and banners were every ten feet. The school was buzzing with spirit.
Raven walked through the halls carrying her books at her chest. The junior varsity cheerleaders ran by her giggling like crazy. Only a few of them she recognized. Most were underclassman. The football players were walking the school talking nothing except the upcoming game tonight. The rest of the student body was clad in the school colors, purple and white. The staff as well.
Raven couldn't help but grin a bit. She remembered walking down this very hall in her own cheerleading uniform three years earlier. Jen was linked to her left arm. Kendra, Libby, Kara, Karen and Donna in tow behind them. Her old crew. They rounded the corner and met up with Tim and his buddies: Gar, Victor, Roy and Garth. Most of the school's heart throbs. Tim's smile was smooth, lingering like wine. He strolled up to her and wrapped his right arm around her waist, his left hand going to her books.
"Game tonight. Obviously you'll be there doing your thing."
Raven grinned. "That's my job as captain."
"After our victory the team's going to Gordo's for ice cream. You coming?" He asked going in to nibble at her neck playfully.
Raven giggled slightly and wrapped her now free arms around his neck. "Depends. You buying?"
"Of course. You can pay me back later." He licked her suggestively.
Raven laughed and pushed him away lightly.
Raven found herself smiling in a dazed walk as she made her way to her locker. The classmates she used to know would smile and wave. Raven would nod and give a ghostly smile in return.
"They're begging for you in student counsel."
Raven looked to Jen who had matched her pace. "What for?" She asked not really caring.
"To take your roll back as event planner. Even with Kori's spark to things, they just don't compare to your touch."
Raven couldn't help but feel proud of that statement. Had she not come back this year like her original plan, her mark would have been left on the school for generations to come. She would have went down as a sort of legend. No one could out do her at much of anything. Back then anyways.
"So?"
"So what?" Raven asked back.
"Do you really want to see them beg?" Jen asked amused.
"Actually, if it's Donna, then yes."
Jen laughed. "She'll do it."
Raven smiled. "I know."
The two of them stopped at Raven's locker. She opened it and dumped her armful of books in to the bottom with a thump. In place she retrieved her notebook.
"You coming to the game tonight?"
Raven knew it was only a matter of time till she got that question. She sighed. "I don't know. I can't stand all the eyes on me."
Jen looked around. It was true. Since Raven had returned she was always being watched. Constantly talked about. Nothing bad. But always in someone's conversation. "You used to find it amusing." Jen said watching a group of junior boys walk by looking at the back of Raven with wide grins.
Raven shut her locker and turned to lean on it with her notebook to her chest again. She watched the attention she received from the students. It was true. She used to enjoy it. But then she was young, a cheerleader, and class president. Now she was just… Raven. "I guess back then I thought it came with the activities I did. Now it's just because I'm…"
"Raven?" Jen asked a bit mellow, repeating her exact thoughts out loud.
Raven looked to her. She recognized that look. Jen was worried about Raven changing. But she only changed a little. "I'll make you a deal. Get me a decent partner and I'll plan this year's Breakfast with Santa in December."
Jen smiled ear to ear. "I'll get you the most perfect partner. You'll see."
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Tim stood at the side of the bleachers. He was meeting Star there. He couldn't help but look around, waiting to catch a glimpse of her. Somewhere. Anywhere. Even the back of her would do.
It had been almost two weeks and he hadn't seen hide nor hair of Raven. It was partly his fault. After his first sight of her he had avoided coming in contact at all. He didn't want to chance his feelings coming back. He had such a good thing going with Star. Now he second-guessed everything. He found all of her faults. It really bugged him.
After a while though, it seemed as if she was avoiding him. He would see Jen all the time. Even talk to her a bit. But Raven was nowhere. He wanted so badly to ask about her. To see how she was doing. And all it would take was just a hint of her and Jen would start talking. But he didn't want to bring himself to do that. He wanted to be over her. He had worked so long and hard to get over her. He thought he had succeeded. That is, until she came back.
Tim skimmed the heads of the crowd. It was starting to get cool so some were wearing hoods or hats or headbands. There was not a sign of her anywhere. He had already seen Donna and Karen. They walked by a while ago. Of course giving him a knowing grin. Kara, Kendra and Libby are still on the cheerleading squad. He ran into them right before the game as well. Jen he guessed was with Raven. Where ever it was they were.
Now he could see Star and Terra making their way through the crowd. Star wore her normal clothing. A faded pair of blue jeans fitting very nicely and snugly. A long sleeved, pink shirt showing her mid drift like always. And she wore boots. Todays were pink to match her shirt. She had added a thin scarf around her neck and a matching pair of mittens and a furry hat. She really was beautiful, Tim noted.
"Hello, Timmy." Star greeted him with a kiss to his cheek.
Tim smiled. "Hey Kor."
Terra stood just to the side of Star looking to the field. The game hadn't started quite yet.
"Was your day enjoyable?" Star asked watching Tim with adoration.
Tim smiled. "It was fine. How was yours?"
"Oh, wonderful. Terra and I had put a few finishing touches on the last details to the dance of the homecoming. We are quite excited about it. I am sure it is going to be great." She answered with glee.
Tim noted that was one of the things he didn't like about her. She couldn't just say 'had a good day, finished with the dance and it's going to be good.' Everything was extenuated. And she was so simple. So straight line. So… uncomplicated. Sure that was a good thing. But it became boring after some time of it. He needed to see a wild side. He wanted her to keep him guessing. Instead, she was just very… predictable.
But she also gave him all of her attention all the time. She was one of the most caring and kind persons he knew. She was a great friend, a terrific student and a generous girlfriend. Unfortunately… he still wanted more. Not that he would admit it, but deep down, he still wanted Raven. Even if he wouldn't admit it.
"Let us walk the perimeter of the field, yes?" Star asked taking Tim's hand in her mittened one.
"Sure." Tim said pushing off from the bleachers.
He let Star guide him around for a while as he searched the crowds. Terra stood on her other side and they consumed themselves in conversation.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Four minutes left in the game. Bounty Boys are up by three. Home team, the Vikings, are getting pumped. But we all know, in football, four minutes can turn into half an hour no problem. Tim, Star and Terra had been joined by Gar and Garth. Currently Terra was steering them in a round about direction.
Tim glanced to the field when a roar went through the stands. Not seeing anything but a tackle, he looked to the clock. Still three down. He turned back to being lost in his thoughts still being dragged along by Star in this group.
He found himself watching the ground as they walked… looking at everyone's different shoes. Star's pink boots, Terra's brown carpenter boots, Gar's sneakers, Garth's sneakers, his own boots…
He found that the group had stopped and was confronted with another. He didn't bother to look up. Instead he noted their footwear as well. To the right white boots, pink and purple sneakers, a little behind them black dressy shoes, directly in front of him black combat boots…
Combat boots… just like the one's Raven had years ago. He followed the boots to the legs, up to her face.
Raven stood in front of him surrounded by her friends. She wore a diminutive smile and her eyes were wild.
Tim felt his breath catch in his chest. "Raven" He whispered while struggling to swallow the lump in his throat.
"Hey, Robin." She greeted.
Her words rang through him like the first warm breeze in spring. The sound of her voice was like a thousand doves chirping the most wonderful song. And his nickname from her that he hadn't heard since the day she left him. Robin. No one called him that except her.
He found himself speechless. There was so much he wanted to say but he couldn't find his words. Any words. All were lost.
Raven seemed to see his discomfort and smiled a little more. She still made him weak at the knees.
Immediately Tim found himself in a flashback. The day he had to say good-bye.
"I can't let you go." Tim said holding her at the end of her driveway. Her luggage was packed and in the trunk of her mother's car.
"I'll be back before you know it." She said running her hand through his messy hair.
"Three years is a long time. What will I do without you?" He nuzzled his face into her neck and held her as tight as he could. She was running one hand up and down his back while the other play with his hair still.
"You'll be fine, Robin. We'll stay in touch."
"Let's go, Raven. You'll miss your flight." Her mother called to her.
At that moment, Tim found a wave of hatred for her mother. She wasn't making her go. This was Raven's choice. But it was she driving her to the airport. And so it was she who was taking his Raven from him. She had offered him to go along… but he couldn't do it.
Reluctantly, Raven pulled back. "I'll miss you, Rob. Promise me something."
Tim pulled her back closing the gap she had created between them. "Anything." He whispered.
"Don't fall in love with someone else while I'm gone."
"How could I?"
"Let's go, Raven."
Raven pulled away. "I have to go. I'll be back. I promise."
Tim kissed her for the last time. "I'll miss you, Rae."
Raven smiled sadly. "Me too."
He watched her drive away. She watched him until she couldn't see him anymore. Her hand on the window. He stood there for a long while. Hands in pockets. Fighting back the need to run after her. Refuse to let her go.
"How've you been?" Tim managed to choke out.
Raven shrugged. "Good. Yourself?"
Tim nodded once. "Alright. How was England?"
"Beautiful. I have never seen a place so wonderful with so many hidden secrets. The buildings are phenomenal. The people were excellent… But it's good to be back."
Tim nodded. Again he found himself stuck. So much to say. And yet, nothing would come out. Instead he just looked at her.
Gar made his way through the crowd and gave Raven a hug. Tim watched them talk comfortably and felt a pang of jealousy. He missed that. Just talking to her was like a dream. He was reaching out for it, but it was just out of reach. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms like he always imagined he would when she finally returned from her trip.
Gar backed away and they were left facing each other again. Raven seemed more at ease than he did. Tim was called from his bafflement by the tugging on his arm. With a slight shake he turned to see Star still holding his hand.
"Oh, Raven this is…"
"My name is Kori." Star introduced herself holding out a hand to Raven. "I am Timmy's girlfriend of now seven months." She said excitedly.
Raven smiled to her and took her hand. "Nice to meet you Kori."
"You as well. I have heard so much about you since the day I moved here. You are very well liked in this school. I hope that you and I can grow to be good friends."
Raven nodded. "I look forward to it." She said in monotone.
Another quality Tim missed. She spoke like that when she was bored or wanted to throw someone off.
To the side of them was a huge roar from the crowds as the home team made the winning touch down. Everyone looked. Everyone except Tim. He couldn't get his eyes off her no matter how hard he tried. He had waited two long years to see her again. Here she was. He wasn't going to waste a minute of it on a football game.
Raven's group started to head towards the game dragging her with them. "Nice to see you again." She managed to say before being completely taken away.
Tim wanted to run after her and rip her from their grips. He wasn't done watching her yet. He wasn't done admiring her. He wasn't done missing her.
And again Star called him from his dream state.
"It is time for us to accompany the team to the party after, correct?"
Somewhat annoyed Tim nodded. Star began to guide him in the opposite direction. Tim watched the back of Raven until she turned. Their eye met again. Time slowed. She blinked gradually. A tiny smile appeared. One Tim didn't quite recognize. No, he recognized it. But he didn't want to. It wasn't genuine. It looked almost sad. Disappointed. Forced. If there was one thing Tim hated more than seeing that look on her, it was the idea that he made her feel like that.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
He lay back on his bed tossing a basketball into the air and catching it as it fell. It was Saturday. Tonight would be the Homecoming dance. After his encounter with Raven last night, he wanted so badly not to go. He didn't think he could stand seeing her dance with other guys. But he knew he really had to go. Star was on the committee. She would be devastated if he didn't show up. At least for a short while.
The ball hit the ceiling and came down hard. Without thinking he swatted it away. The ball hit the door with a loud bang. His mother yelled to him.
Tim sighed. He barely slept last night. He couldn't stop thinking about her. About their time together the years before. She was his everything. And he was scared to admit, she could still possibly be.
He shoved himself from the bed and headed for his closet. On the top shelf was a box. Larger than a shoebox but smaller than a paper box. He took it down and shuffled through the contents until he found what he was looking for. Pulling that out he replaced the box on the shelf and headed for his window.
The frame was a normal sized picture frame. The photo it held was his absolute favorite. Raven stood wearing a short dark blue dress. Sleeveless. And her normal combat boots. Her long black hair had been in a messy bun, but was now falling all around. He stood behind her. His arms were wrapped around her waist. Hers entwined with his. She was tilted to the side so she could see him. His forehead rested just to the side of hers. He was looking at her in a dazed look. He was smiling like a young child given his first puppy. She wore a smile and her eyes were on the camera.
Jen gave him that picture right after the dance. She said he looked like he had just been run over by a truck and still out of his mind. But he knew the look he gave her. Complete adoration. Much like Star gives him.
The picture was snatched from his hand. Tim turned to see Victor standing there holding it. A smile fell across his face.
"I knew you were still crazy about her."
Tim shook his head. "Because I still have a picture of her?"
"No. Because you are. It was made obvious last night."
Tim glared to him. "You weren't even there." He retook his spot on the bed and threw the ball into the air and caught it repeatedly. He wanted to snatch the picture back but thought better of it.
"But Jen was. And Jen is her best friend." Victor set the picture down on the desk and sat in the chair backwards.
Tim didn't want to hear this. He was having his own inner battle as it was. He didn't need Victor's version of what Jen said too.
"Just call her. Get what you want off your chest. Then you don't have to worry about the 'what ifs' later." Victor had rolled the chair to his phone and held it in his direction.
"There's nothing to say. Besides what makes you think her number's the same? Or that I still know it?"
Victor took the phone back. "One way to find out." He proceeded to dial.
Tim sat as Victor placed the phone to his ear. Tim snatched it and hung it up. "If I wanted to call her I would."
The phone rang in his hand. He tossed it to the bed. His mother could get it.
Victor just grinned. Tim's reaction was just as he suspected. Too scared to talk to her.
"Tim, the phone's for you." His mother yelled up the stairs.
He glanced to his clock. It was about the right time for Star to call anyways.
"Hello?" He answered.
"It's been a while since I've seen this number on my caller ID." Came the calm quiet voice.
Suddenly it became hard for him to breath. "Raven?" He asked almost silent.
"Hey, Robin."
He could hear her smile. "Sorry to bother you. I dialed this number by mistake. Old habit I guess." He rambled on.
"No problem." She said peacefully.
His breathing was rapid shallow breaths. He wanted her to keep talking. He had to hear her voice. "Did I interrupt anything?" He asked dumbly.
"Not at all." She said with a slight chuckle. "I was just flipping through channels trying to find a decent movie to watch."
He didn't know what to say now. So much. He dreamed of hearing her voice so many times. And the conversations they would have. Some nights they used to be till midnight or later. And now, he couldn't even get out a well-mannered sentence. He was tripping all over himself.
But she seemed to be staying just as calm as ever. "I hear your girlfriend was on the dance committee."
He almost choked to hear her say those words and not be referring to herself. "Yea. She's really enthusiastic. She doesn't stop talking about it."
"That's good. She seems nice."
Tim hated this topic. He needed to change it and fast. "She is. You coming to the dance tonight?"
"I don't think so."
"Why not? Hasn't anyone asked you?" He asked almost annoyed at the possibility that no one had asked her. She was Raven. Some one should have.
Raven giggled. "Oh, plenty have asked me. Most of them your friends actually. I just don't feel up to going. Jen's coming over after and we're gonna watch movies all night."
Tim eyed Victor. He still sat there with a smug smile knowing perfectly well who had called. Tim guessed this was his plan.
"I have to go, Rob. Call waiting." Raven said a little downcast.
"Alright. See you at school then?"
"Yea." She said softly. "Bye."
"Bye." He heard the click as she switched lines. But he couldn't hang up the phone yet. He let out a huge breath that he had been stuck on since her voice came over the phone. Then he hung it up and turned to Victor.
"So, Vic. Who has asked her to the dance?"
Victor continued to smile. "I think just about all of us."
"Really?" Tim asked irritated.
"Yea. I knew she'd turn us down anyways. Besides I'm going with Jen. The only one who didn't bother to ask was Gar."
Tim found that strange. He would normally have been the first to ask. "Why?"
Victor shrugged. "Said he wouldn't feel right."
Tim nodded and glanced at the picture Victor had set down. Her eyes shown darkly through the room. Clear as day. With a last sigh, he lay back on the bed throwing the ball again.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The dance wasn't half bad as it turned out. And as hard as Star worked on it, no one had the heart to tell her they'd seen better. She would have been devastated.
It was now close to midnight. He had already dropped Star off at home. Now he drove aimlessly around the town. Looking for something, anything, to do.
He parked in his driveway and looked to his house. In this very spot, years ago, this is where they shared their first kiss. Their first real kiss.
Tim was sitting sideways on his bike (he couldn't drive it legally yet, but he still took it around the neighborhood anyways) and Raven leaned her back against him. He remembered the exact conversation. They were discussing whether or not it would be worth their trouble to go to Hal's party. They had been friends with him since second grade. This would be their first party without chaperones. Which meant, they'd have to sneak out.
"Then, would it be worth getting grounded for a month?" Raven asked almost to herself.
"A month? You mean I'd have to find another way to occupy my time without you for a whole month?" Tim asked in disbelief.
Raven giggled. "Yes. My mother would kill me to know I went to an un-chaperoned party without permission."
"Then we're not going. There's nothing we can do there that we can't do somewhere else without getting in trouble." He said tightening his grip on her.
Raven smiled. "Fine with me. I didn't really want to go anyways."
"Why? I thought you said it would be fun."
"It sounded fun at first. But we normally watch movies on Friday night. That's more fun."
Tim turned her around gently. The breeze had blown long tendrils of black silken hair into her face. He brushed them aside smoothly. They watched the others eyes. Tim left his hand in her hair as he leaned towards her, gently guiding her head too.
Raven knew what was coming. She became weak all over. A small shudder ran through her. And she closed her eyes as their lips met. The look he had in his eyes had told her this wouldn't just be just any kiss like they normally experience. This would be like nothing they had ever felt before.
In a nervous move, Tim ran his tongue across her lips. They parted slowly. Anxious tongues met each other in a wild dance. The sensation was unbelievable. For the first few moments, they moved clumsily. Then they got the hang of it. Unnamed desires and pleasure took over where their inexperience failed.
Tim sighed. I'm being stupid, he thought. Of course I missed her. Who am I trying to convince otherwise? No one else is buying it. I don't even think Kori believes that I'm over her. Besides, its not hurting anything to admit I missed her. Everyone missed her.
He started his bike again and drove off. A few seconds later her found himself in front of Raven's house. She was up, he knew. She had said earlier that Jen would be over later to watch movies all night. The living room light was on to confirm. He parked his bike at the end of the driveway and took the drive in a jog. At her door he paused. What did he plan to say to her?
Without another thought, he knocked blindly. Now he waited. He began to look around the deck. More memories came rushing back to him. Before he could dwell on them too much, he heard footsteps. And the door opened. His blue eyes met her questioning purple ones.
"Rob-" Raven started to ask before she was swept into his arms.
"I missed you Raven." He said into her hair, taking in her exotic scent.
After the initial shock had worn off, she embraced him too. "I missed you too." She said quietly.
He held her for a while longer before letting her go. He ran his hand through her short soft hair. Still the same feeling it had been. "I just wanted to tell you so you knew."
Raven smiled. "I knew you did. You didn't have to say it."
Tim chuckled a bit. "Yes I did. Maybe not for you, but I had to say it."
They looked at each other a while longer before Tim found the strength to tear himself away from the dark beauty. "I should go."
Raven nodded. "Thanks." She said crossing her arms on her chest.
Tim smirked as he left her doorway and headed back down the drive at a slow walk this time. He was in no hurry to leave. He could still smell her shampoo. See her surprised look when he hugged her. Her voice in his ear. Her breath on his neck.
He hopped on his bike and took one last look back before driving off. The light still shown through the door outlining a gorgeous young lady. Her shadow was what he drove away with. And he smiled the whole way home.
Reviews:
Watergoddess08: I know. I thought it would be an interesting image to see Raven in a cheerleader uniform, don't you think? I've decided before she left she was just getting into the darker colors. Her trip just sped up the process. And just like I've read about the comics, her hair starts out black and then turns purple.
HeWhoWalksTheEarth: Yes you are right. But this is set in high school. Their senior year. Hope that doesn't bother you too much to stop reading it.
Ok. This story only has between six and seven chapters. I plan to alternate writing a chapter for this and then one for Promised and so on. Book 1 and Kidnapped are on temporary hiatus. Lost my enthusiasm for them. Anyways… happy reading and please review.
-LC
Muah