Always Been You
Chapter 6: Talk to me
All of March Raven, Slade, Jen and Gar double-dated. And quite to their surprise all was going extremely well between each couple. It was around the twentieth when Gar and Jen decided to make it official.
It was quite a very new experience for them both. Gar's typical girl had much like Jen's frame but a complete opposite personality. They were normally quiet and shy, usually a bit under the 'dumb blonde' category as well. He stuck to the ones that would think he was great, his band awesome, his friends weird.
But Jen intrigued him in many different ways. She wasn't shy about anything. And she came right out into the open with what she wanted and when. Not to mention who. And right now she wanted Gar.
Jen normally dated those much like Vic. Sporty. Muscular. Independent. Focused. Not to mention, they had to keep up with her. If her friends didn't like the guy, it was a hopeless relationship.
And she'd never had a guy who wanted more than a bed buddy. Well more than a frequent bed buddy. To her it was obvious Gar wanted it. But he was refusing her quite often. And to her surprise she was okay with it. He always made sure they were having fun no matter what they were doing.
It struck them both as weird that they had been friends for so long and not once noticed the chemistry between them. They could just be walking with each other, without touching or saying a word, and they'd feel the heat.
Gar never had someone he felt comfortable enough to talk to openly and relaxed. And though Jen could talk to anyone no matter if they were paying attention, Gar listened. And they had talk other than that which belongs in the bedroom.
But by the end of April, the newness wore off. As planning picked up, they drifted further apart until they decided to split. It was a mutual thing. Neither held hard feelings.
Vic still stayed clear of them both. He was blind with jealousy with Jen and feeling betrayed by Gar.
During that time Raven and Slade had been dating too. But they both kept their relationship on a much lower level. Neither of them felt particularly strong towards each other. Though they did always have fun when together.
So when Gar and Jen decided to split, Raven and Slade did the same.
But both relationships worked out well for all four involved. Jen got over Vic. For better or worse, she just didn't care anymore. Gar realized that his friends were way more interesting when he's not with them every day. Not to mention it was a good idea to get to know those that he never really talked to. Raven wasn't alone therefore able to take her mind off Robin and enjoy herself. And there were guys out there who didn't care about Robin. And Slade was able to meet many students through his time with Raven.
As Senior prom crept up on them in the middle of May, the planning started getting underway. Of course, Raven's Planning Committee was in charge of this as well. But planning Prom came at a much easier price. There was way less planning to set up and take down.
They had sent a flyer out having their senior class vote on a theme and place, band, and other minor things. When it came back, they had decided on the most expensive of all choices. Naturally.
But that was okay. Raven had said that every fund raiser they had done had been way successful . And they still had a few minor things left.
The place was called Des Luna Suites by the Spring Bay. The theme would be William Shakespeare's A Mid-Summer Night's Dream. A band Gar had recommended, Knot Worth, from the Junior class was booked.
What was nice about booking somewhere for Prom instead of having it somewhere else was less work for the committee. They'd be able to enjoy themselves instead of worrying about anything.
So they gathered and made the initial plans.
Ten days before prom, Raven, Jen, Kendra and Donna went out shopping for Prom dresses.
"We always dreamed of doing this together. Remember?" Kendra said with a dress in hand. "Ever since we were kids."
"We should spend the day together." Donna said, standing in front of a mirror holding up the dress to herself.
Jen laughed. "Well no kidding."
Donna gave her a mock glare.
"Can we rent a big limo? For all of us and our dates?" Kendra asked.
"Ohhh…That would be fun. But, how many of us actually have dates?" Jen said flipping through the racks.
"Well, I'm going with Roy." Donna said.
"Figured that." Kendra said with a smile.
Donna grinned.
"I think Baran's going to ask me." Kendra said. "I think I might say yes, too."
"You think?" Donna said.
They all laughed.
"Wally and Jason both asked me." Jen said. "Same day, too. I don't know if I want to go with either."
"Please don't tell me you're going to wait for Vic to ask you?" Raven said.
Jen wrinkled her face. "Absolutely not. Actually, I was thinking of asking someone myself."
"Gar?" Donna asked.
Jen shook her head. "Bruce. He might be fun."
"Uh huh." Kendra said fighting back a smile. "You just like his butt."
"You have to admit. It is nice." Jen said.
They all nodded and laughed.
"Let's go try these on." Raven said with a handful.
They each took half a dozen and headed to the fitting rooms. They chatted through the tops of the stalls.
Each came out with their first one. Donna in black, Raven in green, Jen in purple, Kendra in bright pink.
Donna smiled to Raven. "I love that dress, but…It doesn't really match you hair."
Raven turned to the mirror and giggled slightly. "Aww…too bad."
"Pink?" Jen asked Kendra from the corner of her eye.
"It's my favorite color." Kendra said with a pout. She rocked from side to side giving Jen big eyes.
Jen shook her pink streaked hair with a smirk.
"So who are you going with Rae?" Kendra asked.
"Well, I think I've accepted Gar's offer. He's been a really great friend to me for the past few months."
The others nodded.
"I'm impressed he's lasted this long alive from Tim." Donna said.
"He stays quite the ways away from him and Vic now." Jen said.
"Good. He can find better friends than that." Donna said.
"So we all have dates. We should spend the day together, just the four of us. Then we can all get a Limo." Kendra said.
"I'm in." Jen said.
"Me too." Raven said.
"Sounds good." Donna said.
Kendra clapped her hands and spun in a circle, her dress ruffling out around her.
x-x-x-x-x-x
Tuesdays were the days Jen had late arrival. She always chose to walk to school with Raven, though. So she'd always be there during first block. But she didn't mind. It gave her time to do homework, or last minute studying. Now as the weather was getting warmer, she'd spend her mornings walking the track with her mp3 player.
She was just reflecting on how successful her asking Bruce to Prom had been when she had a visitor from behind. She saw the shadow creep up upon her and for a moment it stayed in pace.
"Hey Jen."
Jen turned to face her visitor. She blinked uninterestedly. "Vic."
"How've you been?" He said conversationally.
"Fine. You?"
He shrugged. "Not too bad. It's kinda sad we'll be graduating in a month."
Jen nodded with a sigh. "I know. It's a little depressing."
Vic nodded too. He had to admit, it was kind of weird talking to her. It had been so long. "I'm going to miss high school. Even the strange smell."
Jen nodded slightly.
They walked on in an awkward silence for a moment. At least Vic thought it was awkward. Jen didn't care one way or the other.
"You know, I'm sorry things got out of hand between us. If I would have taken the time to think, I would have realized it wouldn't have lasted between you and Gar."
Jen have him a glare. "Oh? Actually, that was one of my best relationships. Actually, now that I think of it, it was the best. Definitely the most adult."
"Gar? Adult?" He laughed. "Who are you trying to kid?"
"He's the only guy I've ever gone out with who liked me for me. And not to get a piece of ass."
"Yeah right. Sure he said that. Until you actually gave it to him."
Jen shook her head. "You know nothing of Gar and I. So don't try and pretend you do." Vic made to say something but she cut him off. "'Cause if you did, you'd know that we're still just as close now as we were when we were dating. We see each other just as much now and we didn't ever have sex."
Vic didn't say anything. Jen wasn't sure whether he was deciding to believer her of not.
"Okay. I'm sorry anyways. I really only came out here to see if we could put our differences behind us. You know, start over?"
Jen shrugged. "Sure. Whatever."
"So we can be friends again?"
Jen shrugged again. "Mm hm."
"Great."
They continued to walk, somewhat quietly for a few moments. Jen's mind still very much on Bruce.
"So, I was thinking…" Vic started.
Jen glared at him.
"Maybe we should go to Prom together. Just like we had planned at the beginning of the school year."
Jen noticed he had said it with quite a bit of confidence. Clearly, he thought she'd agree. She couldn't help but laugh a little. "Sorry, Vic. I've already got a date."
Vic's smile vanished as he stared at her for a while. Then he forced what was obviously a fake laugh. "Oh…right…So what time should I pick you up?"
Jen shook her head. "I mean it Vic. We're not going together. I already have a date."
Vic immediately got jealous. "Since when? Who?"
"Since this morning and it's none of your business."
"Gar?"
"Nope."
"Then who?"
Jen stopped and turned to look at him straight on. Their eyes holding the others gaze. "Listen Vic. We had some great times together. But that was in the past. I'm over you. It's time you move on too. We're not going to Prom together. I'm sorry."
She turned and walked away.
Vic's stomach churned. This couldn't be happening to him.
x-x-x-x-x-x
It was a nightly routine. Tim would come home, go about his business and right before bed, he'd call and talk with Star for a while.
Towards the beginning of their relationship, he looked forward to this time. He's love to sit and talk with Star for hours. But lately, since Raven returned, he'd dreaded them and avoided them at all possible costs. The nights he did call, he'd hurry the conversation along.
But he kept calling her on a regular basis. The nights he didn't, he'd make an excuse the next morning. 'I fell asleep,' 'Spent time with my parents,' 'Got homework done really late' and Star seemed to believe every word.
Especially since the night of the Valentine's Day Carnival when he had told her he loved her. Had it been any other girl in Star's situation, Tim would have been dumped in an instant. That wasn't Star's style. She'd forgive and forgive. There was just no other way she knew of.
So here sat Tim at his desk with Star on the phone chattering about this and that as Tim doodled on his notepad. She had already been talking for the last 41 minutes and counting.
It wasn't until 10:30 that night that he had gotten off the phone with her. His elbow felt like it would never straighten. His hand may never be unclamped. His neck might always have a crick in it and there could always be a ringing in his ear. What was worse was the guilt he was feeling. Now Star would become quiet towards the end of the conversation. At the part when one member of a couple traditionally says 'I love you' to the other before saying goodbye. No matter how much he tried to avoid saying it now, in the end, he still would.
He hung up the phone and glanced around his room; the same mess he had left hours ago. It was a good thing he had finished his homework before he called Star, or it might not have gotten done.
He stood. As he did, his eyes lingered over the doodles he had made. Tim closed his eyes letting out a pained sigh.
They were girly doodles really. Hearts, arrows, little love notes. And Raven's name plastered all over the page.
"This is ridiculous." He mumbled turning away from it. "Completely ridiculous."
Tim ripped off his clothes down to his boxers and climbed into bed. Normally after his conversations with Star, he'd fall asleep with a smile. But not since Raven came back. Now he was lucky if he fell asleep before 1:00 am.
Tonight being Friday, Tim decided it wasn't a huge deal to sleep immediately. Recently he'd been playing the game where he'd glance at the clock and think If I sleep now, I'll have 7 hours…If I sleep now, I'll have 6 hours…If I sleep now, I'll have 5 hours. After half an hour tonight though, he gave up trying to sleep. Instead, he turned on his television.
Tim spent another hour flipping through channels. Still, he was no more tired than he had started out being. And his mind was not on the television.
Yes, it was on Raven. The only girl who had ever kept his whole attention no matter what. But he couldn't help but be filled with anger. Her and Slade had dated for a long while. It took all he had not to throw a fit every time Slade was invited somewhere with the group.
And on top of which, Gar. Then nerve of that guy. They'd been friends for years, he knows of the history between Raven and himself, yet it was him who set Slade and Raven up. But what's worse, Gar would be taking her to the Prom. The thought alone made him want to kill Gar.
Before he knew what he was doing, Robin picked up the phone and dialed. And before he managed to hang up, the call was answered.
"Hello?"
Tim sat up with his mouth open slightly. He had dialed Raven's number. "Uh…hi." He stammered.
"Tim?"
"Yeah." He managed to pull himself together. "Sorry. Hope I didn't wake you."
"Actually, you didn't."
Then there was silence. They hadn't actually talked in quite a while. There was a long silence in which Tim searched himself for a topic.
"So…" Raven said quietly. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, of course. I was just…" Tim's eyes darted around the room for something he was 'just' doing.
"Couldn't sleep?" Raven asked.
Tim nodded quietly. "Yeah, for the umpteenth time this semester."
"I know what you mean. Between classes, planning, Jen and the girls, and prom, my mind's constantly running. Sometimes I wish there was an off switch."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Senior year and life's so hectic."
"On the bright side, besides the lack of sleep, I'm having a blast. Everything's going to be great these next couple of weeks."
"Very true. It's all coming so fast. Our last fundraiser is in a few weeks."
"And prom is next weekend."
Tim was quiet. The thought of her dancing with Gar shot fire through his veins.
"Have you seen Star's dress yet?"
"No."
"I bet she'll be stunning. Star is very beautiful."
"Yeah." Tim said unenthused.
That ended their conversation on the prom. But they kept talking for hours. The conversation perked up quite a bit and when they finally hung up the time was 3:38 in the morning.
Tim lied down once more in his bed and when he finally fell asleep it was with a satisfied smile.
x-x-x-x-x-x
The next week went by pretty fast. The senior class was all in an uproar for prom quickly approaching.
Kendra, Karen, Kara, Libby, and Donna stayed in their tight clique, occasionally rotating around Raven and Jen.
Jen and Bruce were found together during lunch, huddled under a tree laughing and talking.
Raven for the most part chose to be by herself. That was only during the days though. Since Friday night, Robin had been making nightly calls to her. And Raven found herself looking forward to it with butterflies in her stomach.
x-x-x-x-x-x
Friday night came not soon enough as far as Raven, Jen, Donna and Kendra were concerned.
The four of them spent the night together at Kendra's house. Her mother had rented them all sorts of movies and bought them popcorn. They stayed up most of the night chatting and giggling and camped out in the living room.
They woke around ten the next morning to a very pleasant (and delicious) aroma of pancakes, sausages and toast.
Between the hours of 1 and 3 they were at the spa being pampered and then rushed to the beauty salon for their hair.
From there they headed to Jen's house where they would finish getting ready and meet up with the boys.
At quarter to six, the boys came almost all at the same time. Everyone's parents came as well to take pictures and make a fuss about "how grown up their babies were getting."
Then they were off in their limo headed for the hotel, Des Luna Suites by the Spring Bay. It was as beautiful as the name itself. Absolutely gorgeous.
The inside was decorated with silver, black, and purple with star confetti and streamers from the ceiling of black and purple to give the effect of night.
They served a wonderful dinner with all the amenities.
The eight of them had their pictures taken together, the goys, Bruce, Gar, Roy and Baran, lined in the back with the girls, Jen, Raven, Donna and Kendra in front of them.
They danced for hours.
Close to the last dance, Tim finally swallowed his pride (and anger) and asked Raven to dance. It was a slow song, I don't want to miss a thing. They danced in intricate circles around other couples, their eyes never leaving the others. For the first half of the song, nothing was said. They simply gazed, with small admiring smiles and attention only on the one in their arms.
"You're beautiful." Tim said.
Raven looked down for a few seconds as a shy blush marred her perfect features. "Thank you. You look quite dashing too. Although, I though you always said I'd never catch you 'dead in a tux?'"
Tim chuckled. "Yeah, well… the occasion called for it. am I not as handsome in a penguin suit as all the other?"
"Oh, no. You're much better. You have that dark, mysterious look about you. I'm sure all the girls are drooling over you."
"Are you?"
"Tim, you know I don't drool."
Tim laughed. "Yes, not very becoming of a lady."
Raven smiled. They danced the remainder of the song in silence very content with just watching the one before them.
Raven excused herself and headed to the ladies room to 'refresh' and disentangled herself from her friends. She walked the exquisite hallways slowly reflecting on her dance with Tim. She knew it wasn't right that they didn't come to the dance together. And she knew it would be wrong if they left together, though she was pretty sure that had she suggested it, he'd have left with her right then. It was the they way it should have been. The way they had always planned. Raven and Robin would go together, with Jen and Vic and the other of her old crew. It was a sad thought to know that had she never left them, it might have turned out that way.
So caught up in thought, she hadn't noticed she had entered the bathroom and the gorgeous redhead in front of her, wide green eyes on Raven. Raven looked up, forcing out a pleasant smile to the beauty in front of her.
"Raven, you are stunning." Star said.
"You as well, Kori. That purple plays off your hair and eyes beautifully."
Star blushed. "That is very kind of you."
Raven turned to the mirror and washed her hands as she critiqued her reflection. Star was still avidly watching her from a few feet away. "Are you ok, Kori?"
Star nodded. "I am fine. I was just… well… right when I started seeing Tim, Tara had told me all about you. She talked of how you were idolized among the student body, the teachers looked to you for support and admiration, and Tim was so taken by you, it was as if he saw no one else when you were there. I was so afraid of you. So afraid that I would like this man and turn around to see him with someone else. Tara said you wouldn't be back until after senior year and that he had been devastated to see you go. Depressed. But he picked up when I moved here. Tara said he was almost as he used to be."
Raven listened although she really didn't want to hear this. So she looked to her quietly waiting for her to continue.
"And then you came back. And he has been so distracted these last months that… I am afraid again. He says he loves me, but I see the way he looks at you. I just do not think I am able to compete with the love he has for you, Raven."
Raven was at a loss for words. She had never heard words of defeat from her mouth and here Kori was surrendering.
"I admit, I believed when I came back we'd be together again. I even thought that had he had a girlfriend when I returned that would end and we'd start up again. Kori, I've been here for almost nine months and he's still with you. Things may have changed in your relationship, but relationships are always trying. I… don't know what else to say."
Star smiled to her and gave a nod. "I want you to know that even if Tim chooses to be with you over me, I understand. You are his high school sweetheart, even if you had not been here for most of it."
Raven left the bathroom after that. It was more depressing to stay than it was to go. At least if she had to see them together on the dance floor, she'd have her friends to distract her from the sight, but alone in the bathroom there was no one to change the conversation.
But her mood had been killed. She walked back to Gar and said, "I want to leave."
Gar stood and looked at her concerned. "You ok?"
Raven nodded. "I just don't want to be here anymore."
Gar agreed and allowed Raven to lead him to each of those they had come with and tell them of their departure. Then he lead her from the hotel.
They walked the beach outside for a while just talking. Raven admitted that all along she'd thought that they'd get here and Tim and Raven would just magically be together and the world would be right. Raven had to struggle to keep tears from her eyes.
Gar took her hand. "I know of this small cabin on the beach that we can go for the night if you want. Turn our cell phones off and no one will find us or bother us. And you can vent all night, whatever we say will stay between us. Promise!! What d'you say?"
Raven smiled briefly. "That'd be nice. Thanks, Gar."
x-x-x-x-x-x
Vic stood behind the video camera as the girls and boys of the planning committee ran around in bathing suits, soaked head to toe with suds covering them. It was their last fundraiser, the car wash. And in two days, the group would be heading out on their senior trip, the three day cruise.
He had been bitter since prom, watching Jen and Bruce dance closely and leave together at the end of the night. Tim's misery wasn't even able to bring him out of his own. It wasn't true that misery loves company. It seemed that one of them should be happy if both weren't able to be.
He recorded the various groups, lingering a bit longer on his friends or those he found more 'appealing' in their swimwear. Vic walked through the various areas, between the multitude of cars lines up waiting to be washed, and got close ups of a select few. He took short quotes from those washing and the owners of said cars. All were happy to be participating in this warm weather entertainment.
His attention wound over to where Tim was washing with Raven. The closeness in their flirtation and intimacy in their casual touches was sure to make Star jealous had she been around. Vic scouted for her and found her to be at the other end of the line washing with Tara. It was a good thing too, as Tim came up behind her and dumped water over her. Raven turned with a squeal and pushed him back against the car. Tim, Vic was sure who was simply caught up in the heat of the sun, had forgotten that that was Raven and not Star, so he pulled her close and kissed her.
Vic moved to split them up before it became too heated and the two were caught, but it seemed the school was used to this second relationship of Tim's, since a young woman, whom Vic hadn't really noticed before, but was sure he should have, walked to them and gently pulled them apart saying something that caused both parties to look to the other end of the parking lot.
It seemed that most of the school was bidding for Raven and Tim to be together but no one was willing to break up Tim and Star. So they sat on the sidelines of a very on-the-edge-of-your-seat movie, rooting silently as time passed. They'd help in certain situations, such as the one that just passed, and turn their head to the 'wrongs' of what was going on behind the back of the innocent.
The camera left Raven and Tim and followed the cute girl in the bright yellow and black bikini. She was dark skinned, her hair up in two buns on the sides of her head and her smile was killer. It was now that Vic decided it was time for a break form his 'duties.' He rounded to grab the first person he could find, being Jason, and handed him the camera. "Your turn."
He strolled up to the girl, picking up a sponge on his way and started washing next to her. She looked up not intimidated by his presence like few girls did. She smiled.
"I'm Vic." He said.
"Yes, I know."
"You do?" Vic asked with a quick smile.
"Everyone knows the quarterback of the football team. Don't flatter yourself."
Vic still smiled. "That is still reason for flatter. So, who are you and why haven't we met?"
"My name is Bee and we haven't met because I have no interest in football players."
Vic laughed. And so a new challenge began.
x-x-x-x-x-x
The class trip had finally arrived. The cruise was much anticipated and well talked about. Even the underclassmen were excited, they were planning the same celebration when their time came.
Tim boarded with Star hanging off his arm, his attention scanning the head around him. He had still been calling her every night, talking for hours and finally ending the call in a smile and falling asleep to sweet, sweet dreams. And every morning he'd wake to guilt knowing he had to face Star in a few hours time.
Tim didn't know what it was that bothered him so much. He couldn't figure out why he couldn't just end it with Star. He knew he belonged with Raven. She knew they belonged together. Everyone knew. But still he couldn't manage to break up with Star.
The first day was a blast aboard the ship. He spent most of his time with Star, not seeing Raven once. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. It did help him have a better time since he wasn't looking at her in jealousy and resenting Star for having to be with her instead.
They had had a nice evening dinner by candlelight and danced under the light dance floor until Star had proclaimed her exhaustion. Tim walked her back to her cabin, where he said goodnight and left her. He stayed out on the top deck for hours, well after the others had gone to bed and there were only a few stragglers hanging around.
He walked the decks slowly until he found a figure leaning over the edge staring at the water. He had first thought he'd turn around, wanting to be alone. But the way she shifted, he recognized her. A smile crossed his features as he made his way to her.
He had barely approached when she addressed him, not looking up to her. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Nah. Its too nice out here to stay locked in a stuffy cabin with another guy."
Raven giggled lightly. "Yeah, Jen threatened girl-talk so I told her I needed a midnight snack."
Tim leaned over the edge next to her, his eyes trailing the moving water below them.
"We've had an excellent year. Great activities, great participation, everyone with high morals. We've been able to treat ourselves to the best."
"Why'd you come back?"
Raven turned her attention to him. He tried to read her expression, which was a useless task. He didn't know why he had asked it. It wasn't planned. It just slipped out before he could stop himself.
She shrugged. "I was tired of being over there. It was great, but I missed home. I wanted a traditional senior year. Did you not want me to come back?"
"Are you kidding? I prayed for your return every night. Sometimes more than once. I dreamt of that almost nightly. For months I harassed Jen for any news on you. Rae, I was miserable without you!"
Raven looked at him for a while longer before giving a brief smile and looking back out at the water. "I missed you. A lot. For a while I kept thinking it was a dream that I wasn't with you and that I'd wake up one morning and be back in my own bed, leaving to school in the morning. Reality eventually set in. I came home because I wanted to have my old life back. I wanted my best friend again." She bit her lip lightly before saying quietly, "I wanted to be with you."
Tim looked back over the water as well. There was nothing left to say. So much he wanted to and yet nothing would come to mind. The phone was so much easier.