Disclaimer-

Don't own anything here. Sorry to disappoint.

A/N:

All right...well, it was Corncob's turn for a chapter. You will notice that the first chapter was probably funnier, more well written, and just all around better. Sorry for this crap of a chapter.

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"He said he looked like a chick! Can you believe it!? You know...sometimes I feel like you are the only one I can count on anymore. You don't know how grateful I am just to have somebody to listen to me, Vincent."

Zack paused and looked up into the bored, red eyes of Vincent Valentine- or as he was now commonly called- "The Lunch Lady."

He was currently waiting for Zack to stop rambling about yesterday's incident and to place his order. Sadly, his usual technique of looking disinterested until the other party gave up didn't seem to work on the chatty First Class. Taking a new approach, he decided to just be direct.

"What do you want to eat?"

Zack made a displeased face as he looked down upon the day's food choices. There was a bready substance and then the left over 'chicken' from yesterday (he still hadn't decided if that was actually what it was).

"Do we have anything...better?" Zack asked, conspiratorially grinning. "You know...since I am buddy-buddy with the Lunch Lady and all. Maybe you could whip me up something special?"

"No." Came the abrupt, monotonous answer as he made Zack's decision for him, plopping a blob of the bready food onto his tray. "Now go away."

Zack looked out at the cafeteria for a moment, then turned his attention back to Vincent. He really didn't want to go out there yet.

"Who am I supposed to sit with? If Reno thinks I am sitting with him, he has another thing coming."

Vincent groaned quietly, cursing himself for ever joining this god-forsaken company in the first place.

"I don't care who you sit with. Now move on. I have people to..." he seemed to be struggling with the word. "..Serve."

Zack, in a valiant attempt to stall for time, decided now was a good time to ask a question that had been bugging him for the last 24 hours.

"What was Tseng talking about when he said you did this to yourself? Why are you stuck in the lunchroom?"

Vincent's eyes slid shut in annoyance. In his head he was trying desperately to think of 10 reasons why he shouldn't want to brutally murder the young soldier. Unfortunately, he was having trouble thinking of one.

Sighing in defeat, Vincent opened his eyes to regard the other man cooly.

"If I tell you, will you go sit down?"

In response to Zack's eager nod, Vincent groaned for what seemed to be the 12th time today and set down his serving ladle, smoothly flipping the bird to the complaining Shinra employees waiting in line.

"I was suspended from my usual duties as a Turk for 'conspiring with a homicidal intent..th-'"

"But you're a Turk!" Zack interrupted. "That's all you do."

Vincent smirked. "I was suspended for conspiring against a few of the less...likable Shinra officials. Regrettably, Tseng took notice of the poisoned food before Scarlet or Palmer got their hands on any."

He grinned inwardly at the Zack's eyes immediately fell to the food on his tray. Suddenly, the line behind hi didn't seem so crowded.

"So...you got caught trying to poison some of the people here...and they put you in charge of food"

Vincent shugged. "Powerful, wealthy, evil. ShinRa is said to be a lot of things. But nothing has ever been said of it's over all intelligence." He picked up his ladle.

"Now leave."

"One more thing!" Zack yelped, hoping Vincent would grant him this request. He took the unimpressed stare to be a "yes?"

"What should I do about Reno?" he questioned.

Rolling his eyes, Vincent waved him off. "Sit with him. Just don't talk to him until he apologizes."

Pouting as the few remaining in line behind him chorused with "It's about time," he mouthed 'I'll be back' before making his way into the seating area of the cafeteria.

Vincent began plotting all the ways he could get himself kicked out of lunch duty.

---

As he drew nearer and nearer, Zack could see Reno sitting at their usual table. Also, as usual, not many people dared to sit near the young Turk without his friendly companion around.

Passing by Tseng and Seph's table, he happily took notice that Tseng had chosen the bready creation to eat as well.

"Well...Here it goes." he muttered quietly to himself as he approached his table and took a seat.

He didn't so much as spare Reno a glance as he seated himself and began poking at his food.

"Sick-ass, Man. Should'a gone with the left over chicken." Reno said, sounding as if there was no disagreement made just a day before, eating a forkful of his own unidentifiable slop.

After a few attempts to get the Soldier to talk, Reno began to catch on.

"Are you giving me the silent treatment?!" he asked, disbelievingly.

"Who are you now, Tseng?" Knocking on the table a few times trying to get Zack's attention, he was quickly fed up with the lack of response.

"Fine. If you don't want to talk to me then...then I'm sitting somewhere else."

As he continued to stare down Zack (which was difficult, being that Zack wouldn't look at him), he shuffled backwards cautiously until he felt the first table behind him.

Who did he thing he was? Ignoring me? Well you know what? I don't need you, Zack. If you want to play, then fine. The game is on, and the dice are in my corner..

Sitting down in the empty chair, he continued staring at Zack, half believing any moment that his friend would look up and smile at him, this having all been a weird joke.

Zack did look at him then, only it wasn't the look he had been expecting. It was a look of complete, wide-eyed confusion. As he followed Zack's eyes from himself, to something behind him, and back to himself, he began to worry if he had made a bad decision.

Straining his memory to remember just who in their right minds would be crazy enough to sit this near to him, his own eyes widened in horror as realization struck.

"Hello." Came the chilling voice. Reno whipped his head around, only to lock gazes with a very smug looking Hojo.

Half-a-second later found Reno halfway across the lunchroom, now seated with some extremely nervous looking Junior Turks.

---

Since Reno's abrupt departure, numerous cadets and fellow Soldiers had wandered up in hopes of joining Zack for the remainder of his lunch break.

His food still mostly untouched, Zack stood and said goodbye to the table full of admiring men and boys. His lunch was over, it was time to get back to work. He had to beat Seph back to the office today so he could finish up the paper work he claimed to have finished the day before.

Making his way over to the trash bins, he realized gleefully that he would have to pass by Reno's new table. Beginning his trek across the room, he saw a blonde head bobbing around in front of him. It was Rufus Shinra.

He appeared to be trying to figure the best way of getting around the burly man blocking his way. Deciding that his humiliation of Reno could wait long enough to do a good deed, Zack veered off his intended course and walked over to the young man.

"Good afternoon, Sir. Can I help you get around this large male?" Zack offered, grinning.

He smiled at the glare he received from the young Vice President. The boy didn't like the fact that he was too new to the position to use his power over the military just yet.

"No thank you, Zack, I do appreciate the offer though. I need to learn how to do this on my own someday. He does look a little top heavy, though. Perhaps a shove would effectively move him?"

Zack's eyes flickered back and forth, before he leaned down to Rufus's ear.

"You think you can get away fast enough?"

As Rufus smiled, Zack gave him the thumbs up and pat on the back for good luck as he went back on his way. Over his shoulder he could hear a loud thud and what sounded like a groan of agony. The big guy must have landed on somebody. Judging by the string of curses, it sounded like Reeve.

As he dumped his tray in the trash and got to Reno, Zack brushed past him and tilted his head down to pass the intended message.

"That was pretty smooth with Hojo, man."

Feeling as though he had taken more than enough abuse in the last 2 days, Reno had reached his breaking point. Leaping up from his table, he jabbed a bony finger into Zack's chest.

"At least I'm not the one who got caught with my pants down with pictures of my Boss!"

For the second time in two days, silence overtook the cafeteria. Even the newest "Lunch Lady" ceased his food serving to stare disbelievingly at the blushing First Class.

Somewhere in the large room, a fork dropped. Tseng's fork, to be exact.

All eyes moved at once to the table occupied by the two offensive department leaders.

Tseng was stunned, smiling evilly at Sephiroth, who was staring straight ahead at a far off wall. Coming out of the shock and biting back a uncharacteristic chuckle, Tseng's grin grew wider.

"You didn't tell me about that."

At the sudden slam of a door, all eyes returned to see Reno smirking in the direction of the cafeteria door that Zack had just shot out of.

Strangely, it was that moment that Sephiroth and Tseng chose to disappear as well, though Tseng's laughter could be heard from a near by corridor.

--

Later that night

--

All right. There is no need to start a real fight over this. You just need to wait it out, Zack, let Reno apologize and everything will be okay.

Sighing, Zack fell back into his bed, pulling the blankets over himself.

I definitely need to talk to Vincent tomorrow.

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End of Chapter

All right, that's all for now. Hope it doesn't sound too forced/ridiculous.

Trust me, things will get better, we just have to GET there first. So please bear with us. If nothing else, rest assured that since Loop does the next chapter, it will be much better!