Stinking Shurikens
Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...
Chapter 6: The Face of Corruption
The next day, Sasuke and Neji were escorted out of a cell in ANBU Zero HQ.
"Did you get to make your phone call?" asked Neji.
"Yeah, made mine to my lawyers, Ketchum and Ketchum."
"I thought you can only get the one phone call?"
"What about you, Neji?"
"Told Tenten to stay with her parents and not to believe what she sees in the papers."
Sasuke and Neji entered the office to see all of the staff holding the 'Konoha News', with the headlines, 'Sasuke Uchiha, the Face of Corruption'.
Neji looked at the newspaper report, then looks at Sasuke. "Hey, since when did you become the 'face of corruption', Sasuke?" asked Neji.
Neji and Sasuke walked into Orochimaru's office as Orochimaru laughing as he read the newspaper.
"Well, well, well. 'A deceiver who even had this reporter fooled.'" Orochimaru reads the article out aloud. "Looks like you're in the deep shit."
"So, what's going to happen to us?" Sasuke asked.
Orochimaru had an evil laugh. "I will do what Iruka should have done a few weeks ago, I'm giving both of you the official boot! You see, Mr. Kiba has found some compelling evidence..."
"With all due respect, Mr. Orochimaru," said Sasuke. "Kiba is a f-ing liar!"
"And with no due respect, Mr. Uchiha," replied Orochimaru. "Get out of my f-ing office!"
Sasuke stormed out of the office, leaving behind Neji, standing silently as Orochimaru resumed his reading of the newspaper. Then...
"So, I'm just f-ing invisible, am I?" Neji mumbled, then walked out of the office, with Orochimaru not even listening to Neji.
That night, Sasuke was walking through the streets to Neji's house. As Sasuke reached the front door, he did not see a van across the street, where Kiba and Choji were listening into a listening device.
Sasuke (on listening device): Neji, do you mind if I stay over? I can't go home with the press crowding around my front door."
Neji (on listening device): Sure, Sasuke. Come on in.
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In the house, Neji takes out a card, reading, 'Front room bugged. Van parked outside.'
"You mind having a seat in the living room?" Neji asked, but he stopped Sasuke from entering the living room. Neji switched on the lights, to make Kiba assume that they were there. Neji took out a cordless phone and switched to the intercom.
"Let's have a drink," said Neji. "How about a 2002 Kai Hiwatari wine?"
"Sure, Neji."
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Kiba and Choji did not know that the voices came from the intercom, as they listen in on the conversation.
Neji (on listening device): So, did you call Sakura?
Sasuke (on listening device): Yep, and I get the same message every time, telling me to f-k off. Hey, this Kai wine tastes great.
Neji (on listening device): Of course.
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Sasuke and Neji sneaked out the back door and climbed over the back fence and walked around the side of the house to see the parked van.
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Back in the van.
"I say we do it now," said Choji.
Kiba stopped Choji. "Wait."
Sasuke (on listening device): So, what do you think Kiba's next move would be?
Kiba picks up a detonator.
Neji (on listening device): I don't know. My guess is that he's probably going to kill us.
Kiba presses the button, detonating a bomb that totally destroyed Neji's house.
"Look like the drinks are on me," said Kiba as he put the detonator down.
Choji started up the van and drove off. The bad guys did not notice Neji and Sasuke behind the cars.
"I don't believe it! He blew up my house!" Neji yelled out. "He's going to pay for that."
"Neji, no!" Sasuke chased after Neji.
Neji and Sasuke got into Neji's car, only to see that the steering wheel is locked.
"Oh F-K!" Neji cried out, "Why did I have to leave the key in the house?!"
Neji started up the car, with the lock in place, the car was only able to move around in circles. Neji tried to turn the steering wheel in the opposite direction, the car ended up scrapping the wheel along the roadside kerb, causing sparks to fly...
"Hey, Neji, I think you're a bit too close to the kerb..." Sasuke takes a look at the speedometer. The car's not going faster than 5 MPH as its wheels are scraping the kerb, sending sparks flying.
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Ahead, Kiba's van was stopped at the traffic lights, oblivious to what was going on behind them.
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Neji was struggling with the steering wheel as it was still locked.
"Sasuke, we could have been killed. Tenten could have been killed too if she was in there..." Neji turns his head to the passenger seat, only to see that no one was there. "Sasuke?! Where did you go?"
Sasuke was jogging right next to Neji's car as the kerb was slowing the car down. "What the hell are you doing, Sasuke?"
"It's faster on foot," said Sasuke as he followed alongside the car.
"Get back in the car!"
Sasuke got back in.
"Help me with this lock, Sasuke."
Sasuke pulled the lock, only for it to break through the windshield and causing the car to turn away from the kerb.
At the same time, Choji was driving van when he notices a car moving out of control towards the N-gas station on the side mirror.
Neji and Sasuke finally loosened the lock on the steering wheel, only to see that the car was about to hit an EZ gas tank.
"Look out!" Sasuke and Neji quickly jumped out of the car and prepared for an explosion as sparks were flying. The gas tank did not explode as the car was traveling at a very slow speed and Sasuke and Neji rolling around the floor. A few seconds passed, and Sasuke and Neji painstakingly got up. "Gotta catch em...owwww!" Sasuke and Neji groaned in unison.
Neji finally removed the lock and Sasuke and Neji were just driving along a train track.
Neji started to laugh. "Hey, Sasuke, don't you think that that was the most incompetent piece of driving in the history of high speed pursuits?" Neji asked.
"Yep. But at least we've got an advantage." Sasuke laugh, and said, "They don't know that we're still alive."
As Neji continued driving, a van was driving next to Neji's car with Kiba holding a megaphone. "Pull over!" Kiba yelled out.
Neji looked at Sasuke. "As you were saying, Sasuke?"
Neji stopped the car as the Vans pulled over and Kiba walked out of the van, holding a kunai with his uninjured hand and uses it to point at both Neji and Sasuke. "Both of you, out of the car."
"Not very happy, Mr. Kiba. I was hoping that they were a little more dead," a familiar voice said.
Both Sasuke and Neji recognized that voice. "I knew it," said Sasuke. "Orochimaru. I knew this was far too much for Kiba's small brain."
"Shut the f-k up, Uchiha! You two have butted in on our business for too long, but the fun is over for you two f-k knuckles because..."
A passenger train suddenly passed by, interrupting Orochimaru in mid-sentence. After the train passed, Orochimaru looks towards Kiba and asked, "Where was I?"
"F-k knuckles," reminded Neji.
"Alright, put them in the van and execute them!"
Neji and Sasuke were about to be put into the back of the van when suddenly, arrows landed straight onto Neji's car.
"Put your weapons down!" a familiar voice yelled out, "Be careful, I'm a very bad shot! Sasuke, Neji, over here."
Neji and Sasuke saw their savior and quickly ran to him. It was Shikamaru holding a rapid-fire crossbow with a car behind him.
"Errr...Shikamaru, if you were going to fire warning shots, couldn't you just try not to hit my car?" Neji said as he got in the driver's seat.
"Mr. Shikamaru," Orochimaru said, "I'm very disappointed with you."
"So am I, Mr. Orochimaru."
"What are you going to do, call the police?"
Shikamaru shoots at all of the wheels of the vehicles across the tracks. Then Shikamaru quickly got into the car. "Let's go!" Suddenly, Shikamaru's car stalled.
"Sorry. Won't be long."
The car finally started up and left the scene. Kiba was prepared to give chase when Orochimaru stopped him. "Don't worry. Konoha is a small town. Just send the word, use 'dead', 'alive' or anything in between."
Orochimaru walked off.
At a restaurant on the outskirts of Konoha, Shikamaru and Neji were having dinner.
"Shikamaru, you actually saved our butts back there," Neji said, "Thanks."
"Your welcome."
Neji looks at Shikamaru's crossbow. "So, Shikamaru, where did you get that Arbalest Crossbow anyway?" Neji asked.
"It was my father's," said Shikamaru.
"I see," said Neji. "Aren't they illegal now?"
"It's for sporting purposes," explained Shikamaru.
"I see. Tell me, Shikamaru, remind me again which sport uses a rapid-fire crossbow?"
"Hockey," answered Shikamaru, "He was a very aggressive hockey player."
Sasuke was at the phone making a call to Sakura.
Sakura's answering machine: Please leave a message after the beep and if that is you, Sasuke, get f...
"Dammit," Sasuke mumbled as he continued to hear more abusive words from Sakura.
Sakura's answering machine: ...so f-k off!
BEEP!
"Sakura, I've read the paper. Earlier, Orochimaru tried to get us killed. If you don't believe me, look at Neji's house. Nothing but a pile of rubble." Sasuke sighed. "You're right, the whole ANBU Zero was just a pile of shit. About the photo you saw at my place. I took it from your place. I'm sorry that I took it, but it's just that..."
BEEP!
"F-k!" Sasuke angrily bangs the phone handle on the cradle and puts it back. Shikamaru and Neji were giving a strange look at Sasuke.
"What?"
"Nothing," said Neji.
Sasuke walked to the table. "So, Orochimaru has the combined resources and strength of the ANBU Zero. What do we have?"
Neji looked at the weapons on the table.
"Shikamaru's father's 'sporting equipment' consists of an Ablest, one kunai and what appears to be an old explosive tag."
Sasuke began to laugh...
"I think he's lost all hope," Neji said to Shikamaru.
"Wait," Sasuke said, "I know who can help us."
Kurenai opens her front door and sees Sasuke and Neji.
"Sasuke?"
"Kurenai, listen to me. Whatever that is on the 'Konoha Times' about me is all bullshit," explained Sasuke.
Kurenai smiled. "Don't worry, I don't read that paper."
Sasuke takes out his pack of cigarettes. "Want a smoke?"
"Sure."
Sasuke accidentally drops the pack, and as both Kurenai and Sasuke went to pick up the pack...
"Ow..."
Both Sasuke and Kurenai hit each other in the head.
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Sasuke and Kurenai had ice packs on their heads. Sasuke was explaining to Kurenai.
"So you see, Kurenai, if your husband hadn't gone to Orochimaru, this wouldn't have happened."
"But I just don't understand. I met Orochimaru a few days ago to pay his respects," Kurenai said, "He said that Asuma was a very kind man."
Sasuke looked at Neji and asked, "What did Orochimaru say last night?"
"He said, 'Put them in the van and execute them'," quoted Neji.
Kurenai's facial expression changed. "Give me the phone."
Orochimaru's secretary was outside his office, where Orochimaru was with Choji and Kiba.
"Kurenai Sarutobi is on line 4."
"Really? I'll take it." Orochimaru picks up the phone and connects to line 4. "Kurenai?"
Kurenai (on the other end): Mr. Orochimaru, I have found another copy of that disk.
Orochimaru's face suddenly went a bit paler than it usually is. "Did you happen to see what was on the disk?"
Kurenai (on the other end): Well, its just payments made by someone named... Zabuza Momochi.
"Kurenai, just stay where you are. I am on my way."
Kurenai (on the other end): You know what, I'll hand it to these two ANBUs. They say that they're with you.
"What two ANBUs? No, Kurenai! Whatever you do, don't..."
Kurenai: What?! Oh no! Keep back!
Orochimaru hears signs of struggle and a bottle breaking, and then the phone hung up.
"Kurenai? Kurenai?"
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Back at Kurenai's home, Kurenai smiled at Sasuke and Neji.
Kurenai was lying on the couch with her ice pack on her bruise forehead with Orochimaru and Kiba sitting at some chairs.
"It was horrible. These two men attacked me and took the disk," Kurenai explained, "I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Kurenai. We'll get them." Orochimaru looked around. "Did you happen to see what was on the disk?"
"Oh, it's all just numbers with dollars, so I assumed that it's my husband's business things. Oh, and I think I may have seen your name, Mr. Kiba." Kurenai pointed at Kiba.
Orochimaru stood up. "Right, the hunt is on."
Meanwhile, at Sakura's new apartment, she was listening to Sasuke's message.
Sasuke's message: "You're right, the whole ANBU Zero was just a pile of shit. About the photo you saw at my place. I took it from your place. I'm sorry that I took it, but its just that..."
BEEP!
"F-k!"
Loud banging noise was heard, followed by BEEP!
Just as Sakura got off the floor, the doorbell rang and Sakura opens it, seeing Kiba and Choji.
"Miss Haruno, would you mind coming with us downtown to the station, just for a few more questions?" asked Kiba.
Sakura was about to close the door on Kiba, but Kiba grabbed Sakura's arm. "Maybe I should rephrase that question..."
ANBU ZERO HQ
Kiba picks up the phone. "It's him."
Orochimaru presses the speaker button.
Sasuke: Orochimaru?
"Yeah?"
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Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru were in a hotel room.
"Orochimaru, we've got the disk and this time, no codenames. So if you want them..."
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"We have your girlfriend, Uchiha."
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"What?" asked a confused Sasuke.
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"By girlfriend, he means me, Sasuke," explained Sakura as she sits next to Orochimaru and Kiba in a meeting room.
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"Shit..." Sasuke mumbled softly.
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"You can't win, Uchiha," Orochimaru gloated, "You'll have up till tonight to give me those files otherwise...you know what will happen."
Orochimaru hangs up and picks up the newspaper with Sasuke's face on it as the 'face of corruption'.
"I guess you feel a little foolish now, little girl?"
Sakura looked at Orochimaru. "The face on the paper should have been yours, not Sasuke's."
"Its just keeps on getting worst and worst!" said Neji.
"At least Sakura believes me now."
"Great, that's the only consolation prize. But we don't have any disk! Even if it did exist, Orochimaru is not going to let us go!"
Both Sasuke and Neji were silent. Then, Shikamaru said, "Who has authority over Orochimaru?"
"Well, there Pikachu, the f-ing Prince of Darkness for one!" Neji yelled out, but Sasuke suddenly realized who Shikamaru was talking about.
"Gotta catch em all!" said Shikamaru.
"Shikamaru, that was out of line," Neji said, "Only I can do the 'Gotta catch em all', got it?"
"Sorry," apologized Shikamaru.