Disclaimer- We don't own any characters or potato chip brands. Lays is defiantly not ours.

All things belong to their respective companies.

---

Well! It's another chapter! Yaaaay!! This was actually written on the 7th...but we decided to hold off posting it for a little while. We figured that if we post too often, people will come to expect it, then when we have our inevitable bouts of laziness and don't post...People will expect it still.

So anyway. This is an even chapter, so that means it was my (CornCob's) turn. Ah, so...hope you enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Vin..." Zack sighed out, over-dramatically.

Vincent seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of returning the greeting, but was spared a decision when Zack continued.

"How are you today? The other Lunch Ladies treatin' you all right?" the black-haired man asked with a smile.

Vincent glared as Zack leaned over onto the glass-covering of the buffet style serving table, folding his arms and resting his chin on them.

"I am fine, thanks. I would rather be back to the usual agenda of killing men and kidnapping children than serving you miscreants food, however. And the other inferior lunch monkeys do not speak to me. Which I am quite pleased about."

No longer caring to ask what the SOLDIER wanted for lunch, he served him a large helping of questionable contents, grimacing at the way it dripped off of the spoon. Perhaps I should consider improving the menu..

Seeming to dwell on Vincent's response, Zack shook his head and seemed to make himself more comfortable on the buffet top. Vincent wondered to himself if Zack holding up his line was something he should get used to, or if he should just kill the man now and save himself the headache.

"Look Vincent. I did like you said. It didn't work! He didn't even think he did anything wrong!"

Vincent just continued to stare at the distressed man, wondering if there was any sort of valid point being made. He was considering telling the young man that he did not care to hear what he had to say, nor did he want to be involved in his social life, when he remembered a certain...offense.

"Thanks for the job. I love being Second-in-Command of the Turks" the smug redhead jibed, walking away laughing.

Ah, Reno. You've just dug your own grave.

Vincent knew an opportunity when he saw one, especially when said opportunity held the sweet promise of revenge. Now all he had to do was wait for Zack to ask. He wouldn't offer his help, oh no, that wasn't his style. He would wait for Zack to ask and reluctantly agree, acting as though it were the last thing he wanted to be doing.

"I suppose he is a little dim.. Perhaps you should just work a little harder to get your point across." he offered in an uninterested manner. And the bait was set.

Zack looked up hopefully, and Vincent knew he was going to play right into his hands.

"You know any tricks?"

Vincent grimaced. "I am not a dog."

"No, No, No!" Zack waved his hands, afraid of angering the man and losing his potential help. Not knowing that he was going to be receiving it one way or another.

"I meant tricks as in..things I could do to Reno! After his stunt yesterday...and Holt...he made it clear that he wasn't going to apologize, and I told him that it was on."

Excellent.

"I may be able to help you out on a few things." the Turk-Suspendee offered, buffing his nails on his apron in a bored manner.

Zack looked flabbergasted.

"So you will help me!? Oh great! I couldn't have asked for a better partner!"

Vincent nodded softly and pretended to glance around cautiously, making sure than no one would hear what he had to say. He beckoned Zack to lean to him, who anxiously complied.

I suppose we will start small...I am not sure of the boys intelligence yet. He has done nothing to prove his knowledge being higher than that of a large grapefruit...

"Stop breathing in my ear, Kid...This is what you should do first..."

As he watched his ex-best friend trade secrets with Valentine from across the room, Reno seethed. He couldn't believe it. He could not goddamn believe it.

Is that why Zack wouldn't talk to him? Because he went and got himself a new friend?

Trying to sooth his growing anger and deny that half of what he was feeling was jealousy, he decided to vent his frustrations on his lunch.

After about 45 seconds of trying to have a "funeral service" for a pea in a "grave" of mashed potatoes, he felt much better. Of course, then it hit him that someone may have been watching him.

Did I seriously just do that?

Looking around to see if anyone had watched him play funeral director with his food, Reno was relieved to see that no one appeared to have noticed.

And if they did...Fuck them.

Pushing his tray into the center of his otherwise empty table, he scanned the room for Zack. He wasn't in the lunch line...Valentine was now serving some young recruit who seemed to be struggling just to speak. Vincent was a creepy fucker...Not that Reno was intimidated by him, of course...

Nah, just stole his job is all... he thought, uneasily.

A few more seconds of looking around found Reno to still be Zack-less.

Unbeknownst to the searching redhead, the SOLDIER in question was standing right behind him, a large bag of Potato Chips (complements of a certain Lunch 'Lady') in hand.

It seemed as though all time stood still as Zack dropped the bag of chips to the floor and raised his foot to stomp upon it.

The perfect replica of a gunshot rang through the air just behind, arguably, the jumpiest Turk on the force.

As Reno leaped from his chair, it was only his mako-enhanced reflexes that allowed him to dodge from harms way as the Mag Rod swung out and collided with the first thing it found.

Which in Zack's absence just happened to be..

Oh SHIT. was Zack's first and thought.

Rufus Shinra.

Because of him, Reno just bludgeoned the Vice President with an electric stick..

Maybe...just maybe nobody would notice him as he began to crawl away. After all, all attention was now on the young blonde laid out on the cafeteria floor, and the horrified Turk responsible.

Looking up, Zack's eyes connected with those of hard, mako-green.

Again, only one thought could be fathomed

Oh Shit.

Sephiroth had seen.

He noticed then that in those few seconds, Tseng had managed to cross the room and make it to his young charges side in a resounding 3 or so odd seconds. Many of the Shinra employees joked that Tseng had a "Rufus Sense" and would twitch whenever Rufus was in danger. Thus far, no one had been able to build a case proving it to be false.

As he heard Tseng begin the unceremonious chewing out of Reno, and Sephiroth pushed away from the table, Zack knew he didn't have long.

He had only one hope. One safe place to hide. Pulling himself off the floor, Zack made a mad dash for the Shinra Kitchen doors.

Though he had never seen the other side of the food serving buffet, Zack had no time to take it in as he was now in a state of extreme panic.

Everyone had bought their lunch and Vincent was no where to be found.

He was considering either hyperventilating or just plain out surrendering himself to Seph when Vincent came around the corner.

Zack had never been happier to see a man in an apron in his whole life.

--------------------

After prying the terrified man off of him, Vincent led Zack into the back of the kitchen and into the storage area. It looked as though it had been set up as a make shift break room of some sort. There was a table (Zack tried to ignore the large handgun resting on top of it, and other leaning up against it) set up amidst the stacks of supplies, along with a stool and a few other miscellaneous items.

"This..." Vincent said, gesturing halfheartedly around the room, "will be our Head Quarters."

Already, Zack seemed excited at the prospect of the shady activities that everyone knew came along with having a 'Head Quarters" (failing to realize, of course, that ShinRa itself was an HQ).

"They let you stay back here? Cool!"

Vincent smirked and seated himself on the single stool.

"Well, as I said. They are too scared to speak to me, ergo- No one is going to tell me to move."

Zack made an "oh" face as he glanced around the room, finding himself a seat on a stack of something near the table.

"..You're crushing my buns..." the apron clad man said, as if it wasn't the most ridiculous statement to ever have passed his thin, frowning lips.

Immediately Zack hopped off of the bread, apologizing and settling himself on the floor a yard or so from Vincent's feet, ready to get down to planning.

"But it's not my fault! I was scaaaaared!!" Reno whined out pathetically, now trapped in his Boss's office, getting a firm ass-chewing from Tseng.

"You were scared?" Tseng parroted flatly, disbelief written across his sharp features, the dot on his forehead forming an uneven oval as he raised one skeptical brow.

"The man who sneaks into Hojo's laboratory on numerous–and highly illegal– occasions, was scared of a "Ruffled Lays" bag. And then expects this fear to excuse striking the Vice President– bruising his left eye and cheek, no less– with a Mag Rod?"

It took Reno a few moments to realize that Tseng was expecting an answer.

"Well...yea."

Shaking his head and mumbling something about never having should've suspended Valentine, Tseng massaged the bridge of his nose and looked again at Reno.

"Taking this in to account, as well as your recent misbehavior, you need to watch it, or you are going to find yourself in a lot of pain." Tseng then gestured towards the door, letting Reno know he was dismissed.

-----------------------

Once outside of the door, Reno recalled the flash of violet just before his rod connected with Rufus' head.

"ZACK!"

He was there!! He tricked me! That bastard! I should have known!

Resisting the urge to punch a hole the wall, knowing that it would only get him into more trouble, Reno stormed down the hallway.

Popping the chip bag...That was fuckin' low...And yet...genius. No way Zack came up with that. He usually relies more on strength or surprise...Not stealth...He had help.

Reno froze in the middle of the hall, employees going out of their way not to pass too near to him.

If Zack could have a secret partner...Then so could he.

But who...

The way he saw it, he had two choices, since Zack was out of the question (for obvious reasons).

Rude...Or Elena.

Rude would be good, since that was his usual partner..They understood each other. Knew the others thoughts without saying a word. But the question was...Would he go for it? He usually gave the impression of taking his job seriously..but you never know.

Elena would be obnoxious, but she had her advantages. She was smaller, and therefore sneakier, and when dealing with an enemy such as Zack, stealth was a must. And there was no telling who his mystery partner was, so Reno wasn't going to risk underestimating their ability.

Turning on his heal, Reno decided to debate this all the way to his fellow Turks' offices.