Oliver Family Reunion
by JDPhoenix
Chapter 5: Fools Rush In
"Why do I have the strange feeling that Nick knocked some girl up?" Tommy asked, shuffling slowly into the kitchen the next morning.
"Because you were drunk last night and you jump to conclusions when you're drunk," Abbey said dryly, turning on the blender.
"Ah!" Tommy cried at the sound. He fell sideways into a chair and slumped against the breakfast nook table. "Must you do that?"
"Just because you're a Ranger doesn't mean you don't need a hangover cure." Abbey handed him a grayish yellow liquid that had way too many lumps in it. "And no," she said before he could ask, "you are not allowed to use that pill that Billy cooked up. It's dangerous."
"Does it have hair?" Tommy asked, eyeing the liquid and looking like a small child faced with a plate of Brussels sprouts.
"Just drink it," Abbey snapped, taking a seat across from him.
Tommy downed the thing as quickly as possible. "Ucgh!" he said, shaking his head violently. Then he put his head on the table, realizing that hadn't been such a great idea.
"You'll be fine in an hour," Abbey said. "Which will be perfect, since that's just how long it should take the two of us to get ready."
"Get ready for what? And where did I get the idea Nick got someone pregnant? You must have said something."
"Tommy, look at me." He did, though he kept his chin on the table for stability. "Nicky's the Mystic Force Red Ranger."
A smile slowly appeared on Tommy's face. "Really? Red?"
"Yup. Looks like colors really do run in families. Now hurry up. Bulky Skulls says that the trouble's gone in Briarwood and if we hurry, we can make it there, tell Nick the family secret, and still have time to make it to Taylor's surprise baby shower."
"A baby shower?" Tommy moaned.
"Tommy, your little brother is a Ranger. This is the happiest day of your life thus far. I wouldn't ruin it by making you go to a baby shower if I wouldn't get way too much perverse joy out of it to pass up the opportunity. Now get a move on."
God bless Tommy Oliver's soul, but the poor boy was too hung over to wrap his head around anything after "wouldn't ruin it by making you go to a baby shower." He tottered off, eager to welcome his brother to the club, and completely oblivious to the fact that Abbey was planning on torturing him.
It wasn't her fault that he refused to soberly admit his feelings for Kimberly. If Abbey had to lock him in a room with her, so be it. He would face his past, dagnabit.
The phone rang and Abbey called up the stairs, "I'll get it!"
She went into the living room and picked up the phone from where Tommy had dropped it after calling Kim the day before.
"Hello?"
"Abbey?" Trini asked, sounding confused.
"Yeah, I thought I'd randomly drop in on my big bro. He was drunk."
"We kind of figured." Trini's voice dropped low. "He proposed to Kim."
"I know. I was trying not to laugh."
"How's he feeling about it?"
"Oh no, he has no idea. I don't plan on telling him until it comes up. We're going to Briarwood because Tommy has to pass on his Rangerly wisdom to Nick—he's the Mystic Force Red, by the way—and then I'm dragging him to the baby shower so we can force him together with Kim."
"Uh, that's not gonna go so well," Trini said nervously.
"What do you mean?" Abbey asked warily. Trini wasn't one to dance around the subject, not unless something big and bad was happening.
"Well, we lost Kim."
"What?" Abbey screeched. Thankfully Tommy had gotten in the shower and didn't hear her. "How did you lose Kimberly?"
"She went to her hotel room last night and when we woke up this morning she was nowhere to be found. The manager says he saw her race out of here sometime after eleven. We hoped she had come down there and was having wild sex with Tommy all night."
"Don't we all," Abbey muttered. "Where could she be?"
"I have no idea. Almost every human, girl Ranger in the Galaxy—except Taylor—is here and no one's heard from her. I'm getting worried. This isn't like Kim."
Abbey sighed. "Trini, I don't know what to tell you. Odds are she's still in California so it's near impossible to scan for her Power signature. You could try though."
Trini groaned. "Just keep your eyes out and your cell on. Oh, and, before you hang up, could you check Tommy's room. Just make sure Kim's not sleeping in or something."
Abbey rolled her eyes but obligingly checked Tommy's bedroom. She even checked the guest bedroom, the closets, the office, and the secret basement. When she reported her findings of absolutely nothing Trini sighed, repeated her instructions to stay in contact, and hung up. Before the line went dead Abbey could hear her yelling at Jason to hang that crepe paper higher.
Kimberly Hart was missing. If Tommy found out he'd go on a rampage. This was going to be a bad day.
Kim sighed and leaned her head against the hard, stone wall. She would never fully understand what had possessed her to leave the hotel in bunny slippers, pj bottoms with dancing cereal bowls, a pink spaghetti-strap shirt, and an overcoat, but she had. Maybe she'd been reverted back to her seventeen-year-old self by Tommy's call. Maybe she was just insane. Either way, she'd gotten in her car and driven to Reefside. Or towards Reefside. She had missed an exit somewhere and before she knew it she was on some dirt road in the middle of the desert. Things had gone downhill from there, quite literally. It was either a very large dog or a small deer that ran across the road just as the sun was rising. Kim had screamed, swerved her car—you never swerve! Ever! Didn't you listen in Driver's Ed?—and ended up top down in a ditch. By the time she'd managed to get out of her car a policeman had shown up. That was when she discovered she had crossed the border into Mexico. She had been thrown in prison for something. Maybe it was that she'd tried to run. That was when they'd taken her overcoat, leaving her feeling very naked.
This was a story for the grandchildren. Grandma Kim got proposed to and thrown in a Mexican prison in under twenty-four hours. And to top it all off, she'd taken French in high school. What self-respecting Californian took French?
"Nick's a Red," Tommy said, grinning like an idiot as he drove Abbey's car down the highway.
"He's really good at it too," Abbey said. "If I didn't know so much about Rangers, I might not have realized who he was."
"I can't wait to tell him, he'll freak." Tommy's smile turned into a frown. "Why do I keep thinking he knocked someone up?"
"Because you were drunk!" Abbey yelled.
"But how do you know he didn't?"
Abbey groaned, but Tommy pressed on.
"What if, some of those times you thought he was out saving the world, he was really having unprotected sex?"
"Because when he wasn't saving the world, he was working in a music store."
"A music store? That's where sex was born!"
"It is not."
"Music is dirty. It puts filthy ideas in people's heads."
"Kira would kill you for saying that. So would Cassie, for that matter. And Tanya. And—"
"I get the idea. How do you know he wasn't doing it? I sent him to you so he could be safe, and what did you do? You let him go off and become a Ranger! How do I know you're not letting him have sex, too?"
"Do you remember your days as a Ranger? The reason you're still a virgin is because you didn't have enough energy to do anything once the battles were over. And because after Kim and Kat you never really loved any of the girls you dated enough, but that's beside the point."
Tommy chose to ignore that comment and get back to the matter at hand. "Does he have a girlfriend?" he asked, trying to be sly.
"I hope so. He's been pining for her since he moved there. He's a real Red that way."
"Oh please, your Red theory doesn't hold up and you know it."
"Oh really? Every single Red fell in love at first sight, or second sight if they were in the middle of saving someone's life. Leo fell in love at first sight, Jason did, you did, Eric did, Shane did, Conner did; and Andros fell in love after the crisis was over, along with Wes, and Carter. It's part of being a Red."
"Rocky didn't. Ha! You lose!"
"The fact that Rocky has yet to fall in love does not disprove my theory. Wait until he does, and then we'll know."
"You're on." After a few minutes Tommy said, "How'd you like Bulky Skulls?"
"It was hilarious! Did you know they have the Europe Incident?"
"Ah, yes, the reason why Kat developed an aversion to any and all sculpture. It's no wonder too, that's the most downloaded Ranger picture of all time."
Abbey shook her head. "Her wedding cake didn't even have the figurines on the top," she sighed as if it were a travesty.
"It was scary, reading through some of those old records. They came pretty close sometimes."
"How close?"
"Well, they use code names for people they absolutely know are not Rangers so the innocent will not be assaulted on the street by crazy people. So in one entry they say that they were walking through the park and heard strange noises from a bush. They carefully peeked over and saw TM and KM very, very occupied. They slowly backed away and turned to see a monster. They screamed and a few minutes later the White and Pink Rangers came soaring through the air above them. They never put it together. It's a miracle."
Abbey tried to laugh, but the mention of Kim had put her on edge.
Tommy considered his story for a moment then asked very slowly, "Did I mention Kim – while I was drunk?"
Abbey's face paled. "Pull over."
"What? What did I say?"
"Tommy, for the safety of you, me, and everyone in the state of California, please pull this car over."
Tommy did as she asked and turned on the emergency lights. Abbey got out and motioned for him to do the same. They had pulled over next to a small patch of dirt and dead grass and Abbey took him to the middle of it—away from the car and away from the small cliff at the side of the road. Sure, it wasn't high enough for him to kill himself on, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try.
"Tommy, be strong. Yesterday, you called Kim."
"Why didn't you stop me?" Tommy tried to yell, but it came out as a squeak.
"You're a Ranger, think about it. Anyway, you called Kim. You told her you loved her, that you'd always loved her, and that you were meant to be together. And then," she took a deep breath, wishing a comet would strike the Earth so she wouldn't have to say it, "you asked her to marry you."
Tommy's expression did not changed for several minutes. He just stood there, staring at Abbey with a crazy look in his eye. She could have sworn one of his pupils was dilating.
"Ahh!" Tommy yelled suddenly, grabbing his head and reeling back on his tiptoes. He fell forward onto his knees and began groaning. He rolled over and jumped a good three feet into the air, giving a great cry of "Lu-li-thugh!"
Over the next half hour two police cruisers, five doctors, three psychologists, and one mental asylum truck stopped. The last had been coming from another pickup and wondered if she wanted them to take Tommy off her hands. She had calmly explained, to each of them, that Tommy was not insane—most of the time. He had just found out that he had proposed to his first girlfriend and longtime ex last night while in a drunken stupor. Everyone had taken this as a good enough explanation and driven on, letting Abbey deal with Tommy in her own time.
Abbey was just wondering if she still had that tranquilizer gun in the back from when Cole had let all the animals out of the Mariner Bay Animal Shelter, when a news van pulled up. It was bad enough that a van full of teenagers had pulled up five minutes into Tommy's freakout and started taping, but reporters were dangerous. Abbey marched to Tommy, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him back to the car. They were gone before the cameraman could even set up.
"Hu do thom," Tommy gasped.
"I know," Abbey said.
"Hu thray sue dom!" Tommy whined.
"I know."
"Uh toe wro—"
"Tommy!" Abbey roared. "I know. Listen, right now you have to be strong. We're almost to Briarwood and you have to tell Nick about the family legacy. Odds are Kim realized you were drunk and didn't mean it anyway."
"Uh eye ih ee ih!" Tommy yelled.
"What?" Abbey screeched, coming to a very abrupt and dangerous stop in the middle of the highway. "What did you say?"
Tommy gasped as cars flew past, horns blazing. "I," he said slowly, "did mean it."
"Seriously?"
"Well, maybe. If she said yes, it's not like I'd back out."
Abbey smiled so big that Tommy thought she'd run out of teeth. She threw her arms around him. "I am so happy." She turned back to the road and started the car moving again. She wouldn't tell him about Kim going missing until she had to, not after that outburst.
AN: Sorry about the long wait, I was trying to see how many reviews I could get. Please review! I'm getting critiqued in my Creative Writing class tonight and could use some good comments. Next Chapter: How to Stop a Red Ranger (I think, I'm not about to turn my laptop on to find out, but that one is coming!) And later: baby shower! the amazing race! and (because we all know we love him) the return of drunk!Tommy!