Disclaimer: We own nothing...except the name of the weapon. But it really isn't all that great, so I wouldn't really be jealous if I were you

A/N: Finally, right? Well, since it took so long, at least you're getting a fairly long chapter. Well, it's long for me, so deal with it. And I am bigger than corncob, so she's not match for me and therefore can't force me to do anything, which is why this took so long...well, ENJOY!!

"They really need to make these damn vents bigger," Reno grumbled. "How's a guy supposed to carry a weapon if there isn't enough room?"

Reno growled as the Beho-snooze that he was dragging behind him got caught on a corner, again. Why couldn't Scarlet invent a weapon that wasn't enormous? Was a simple, portable, compact weapon too much to ask for? He'd have to ask her that when he returned the 'borrowed' item to her.

He had to admit it was impressive what the woman thought up. While pillaging her office, he had come across numerous toys that he couldn't wait to try out. The only thing that had stopped him from trying them out then and there was the thought of Tseng tied up somewhere, being tortured by Zack. He had stood there for a few minutes, trying to decide which device would best suit his need. Figuring that bigger was better, he had gone for the biggest tranquilizer looking thing he could find and carry.

He hadn't been able to contain the snicker when he read the name for it. Beho-snooze. Scarlet may be a genius when it came to weapons, but she seriously needed help when it came to naming things.

Reno crawled through the vents, only getting lost once. And he had ended up over a ladies bathroom, so it wasn't all that bad. Eventually he found himself over the offices of SOLDIER. Looking down through the grate, he saw Holt talking to someone. Reno stopped, wondering why the man sounded so…seductive. No way he had a woman in there; he wasn't that kind of guy.

Reno looked closer and saw that Holt was facing the closed door. He inched around a little to get a better look.

No way. No fuckin' way! What the hell's wrong with this guy? I've gotta tell Zack…At the thought of his ex-best friend, Reno's bright green eyes darkened. He couldn't think about his lost friendship now, not when the jerk had kidnapped his boss.

Reno gave one last look to Holt, who was still whispering sweet-nothings to the pin-up of Sephiroth, and moved on. Passing over a few more grates, Reno came to the conclusion that the people in SOLDIER were as boring as they came.

They were all sitting at their desks doing paperwork. Shaking his head in disgust, he decided that he had definitely chosen wisely when he went into the Turks. Finally reaching his destination, he pulled the Beho-snooze closer to him and got into position.

He looked down and saw Seph sitting behind his desk talking to…Zack.

Well, that's just great. I'm so not going to take out the general while Fair is in there. Hopefully he won't stay long…

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(FIVE HOURS LATER)

Reno let out a groan as he stretched out his arms. They had fallen asleep, again. He didn't know how much longer he could wait. Didn't Zack have some important SOLDIER business to attend to? Like killing some people or raiding a small village?

"So, what color gel pens should I get next?" Zack's voice floated up through the grate. Reno snapped his head up in disbelief.

"I don't know. What colors have you used so far?" Seph's voice asked. Reno scrunched his face up in confusion, was Seph actually answering him?!

"Well, I've used midnight blue, lizard green, magical purple, and I just finished rubber ducky yellow," Zack answered in a thoughtful voice.

"I think a nice red should be next," Seph replied.

"Hey, they did just come out with a new color called 'firecracker red!' It's supposed to change colors between red and orange," Zack said, excitement evident in his voice.

Reno couldn't believe what he was hearing. The greatest and most powerful man in the world was talking about gel pens with complete seriousness. Reno gripped his head with both hands and slammed his forehead into the side of the vent. As the ringing stopped, he looked back into the office and saw Zack and Seph looking up at the ceiling.

"Did you hear that?" Seph asked.

"Probably just another one of Hojo's experi…umm. Probably just a rat," Zack finished quickly, trying to cover the fact he had just said the words 'Hojo's experiments.'

Seph gave a noncommittal shrug and went back to his paperwork. Zack kept staring up at the ceiling, his eyes moving towards the grate. Reno ducked his head out of sight, but he thought Zack might've seen his hair.

"Mr. Fair, you're needed in the training room. Something about a cadet getting stuck in the rowing machine," Seph's secretary's voice came over the intercom. Zack shook his head and stood up.

"It was probably Cloud. That kid's always getting tied up in something or other…We on for tonight? Me, you, Bruce Willis and two hours of things blowing up!" Zack nearly shouted, punching the air with his fist.

Seph didn't make any reply that Reno could hear, so he had to assume he had made a gesture in the positive because Zack left without complaint. Reno instantly jerked up. After hours of waiting, he was about to get his chance. He pulled the Beho-snooze up and positioned it so he had a clear shot of the silver-haired man.

As Seph sat back in his chair, Reno aimed for between the eyes. His finger twitched on the trigger and had actually pulled it halfway when he let out a small yelp and swung the tranquilizer up. The force of the movement sent him falling backwards. He hit the vent with a dull thud and the air in his lungs whooshed out of him.

As he lay there panting, he berated himself for almost killing Seph. It had been so easy though, a thoughtless motion, aiming for the head. It was part of his training, ingrained into him to aim to kill. He shook his head to clear it of the thought of him killing the general and sat back up.

He looked back into the office and was glad to see Seph hadn't moved. Reno studied him carefully, trying to decide on the best place to shoot him. The neck was always an option, but it would be all to easy to hit an artery. The arm? Or maybe a leg.

As Reno thought, Seph stood up and began to walk around his desk towards the door. Reno panicked, and realized that if Seph left his office, it could be hours before he returned. He was NOT spending any longer in the vents. As Seph cleared the side of the desk, Reno saw his shot and took it.

Seph flinched a little as the dart hit him in the butt, but he kept walking.

What the hell? What's this guy made of? This is supposed to take down Behemoth! Maybe I should hit him again…

Reno aimed again and was about to pull the trigger when Seph stumbled a little. Reno eased up a little on the pressure he had on it and watched, his eyes narrowed into slits. After a few more steps, Seph dropped to the ground and didn't move. In fact, it didn't look like he was breathing. Reno kicked open the grate and jumped down into the office.

"Shit! I killed the general of ShinRa's army! For the love of Gaia!" Reno hoarsely whispered. He ran to Seph's side and slammed to his knees. Quickly checking for a pulse, he sighed with relief when he found one. He rubbed a hand over his face and silently cursed whatever had started this whole thing.

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"So," Zack started, trying to change the subject, "how did your prank on Elena go?"

"It went great! I totally had her convinced that Tseng was going to ask her out," Reno said, smiling like a little kid who had eaten the last cupcake. "She was running around trying to fix her hair and put on makeup. When Tseng called her into his office I thought she was going to explode." Reno smirked at the memory.

"How mad was she? Did she smack you or threaten you bodily harm this time?" Zack asked, digging into his peas.

"Eh, she was a little on the annoyed side. I had to hide in the air vents for an hour," Reno shrugged. Looking around he saw Hojo staring at him and Zack. "I hate that guy. Why doesn't the president let one of the Turks kill him?"

Zack followed Reno 's gaze and immediately turned back around. It made him nervous when Hojo looked at him with, what appeared to be, lust in his eyes.

"Well…he does help make SOLDIER stronger. I mean, look how powerful Seph is," Zack said, looking at the silver haired general. Naturally his eyes moved to Tseng, who was gesturing wildly. It looked like he was reenacting a ' Reno moment.'

"Seph's crazy though." At Zack's look Reno quickly amended what he had said. "I meant…sure he's really strong and all, but he does have a temper on him."

"And Tseng doesn't? And that's without the mako in him. Turks must be too soft to handle it." Zack might've worshiped the ground Tseng walked on, but he would always defend Seph first.

"What? We're too soft? Or maybe SOLDIER can't be useful without it." Reno said, his short temper finally flaring up. No one insulted his job and live to talk about it, most ended up with a bullet hole in their head or being beaten to death with his EMR.

"Oh please. ShinRa would fall without its army. Turks aren't really needed; they're just a good threat." Zack looked a little surprised by what he had just said, but didn't retract his little dig.

People sitting near by began abandoning their own conversations to listen to the fight. Some had even scooted away a little.

"At least my boss doesn't look like a chick!" Reno yelled, not being able to take any more abuse.

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Reno winced at the thought of the infamous fight that had torn him and Zack apart. Well, he had come this far, why not finish the job? He stood up and linked his arms under Seph's ankles and proceeded to drag the man to the window.

Opening the window, Reno leaned halfway out and grabbed a long, thick, black cord that was hanging from a window directly above. He pulled it in and set to work tying it around Seph so that it resembled a harness. After he triple checked all of his knots he walked back over to the office door and pressed his ear against it.

Once he was sure that no one was coming he locked the door and shoved a chair against it. He strode back over to the window and grabbed the second piece of cord that was still hanging outside the window. Looking back and down at the unconscious man lying on the floor, Reno felt a small pang of regret.

But this was war. Zack had told him to bring it, well, he was bringing it. He turned his attention back to the task at hand and began pulling on his rope. Slowly the one around Seph tightened and eventually started to lift him up.

After a few minutes of pulling, Reno had gotten Seph above the window ledge and, keeping a tight hold on his cord, pushed him out the window. Now he had to work fast. Who knew how long it took for someone to notice a seven-foot tall man being hoisted up on the 66th floor. Besides, Reno really didn't know how long the makeshift harness would last.

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Reno chanced a glance at his watch. Half and hour had passed since he had started the slow, tiring process of lifting the general up one floor. Who would've thought the man was so heavy? Looking out the window and up, he could see Seph was now even with the window on the 67th floor. Deciding that it was better safe than sorry, he raised him up a few more feet, just to make sure he had cleared that window's ledge.

Still holding onto the rope, Reno looked around trying to find something sturdy enough to tie it onto. Figuring the door was about the only unmovable object in the office he walked over to it, keeping the cord taught. He wrapped it around the handles more times than he could count. Stepping back to admire his handy-work, he had to admit he was good. Not only would this keep Seph suspended in mid-air, it would also add extra protection against anyone who wanted to get into the office before he was done.

He hurried back to the window and began to shimmy up the rope, thanking whatever god that was listening for giving him monkey-like climbing abilities. In just a matter of seconds he had reached the window and was happy to see that no one had closed it. Of course, he hadn't really thought anyone would, seeing as how it was Tseng's office. No one was allowed in there, and even with the Turk leader missing, no one would dare enter in fear of leaving something out of place.

Climbing into the window he reached back to grab a hold of Seph. Reno pulled him into the room with himself and gently lowered him onto the floor. Checking to make sure Seph was still out of it, and would be for awhile, Reno slid back down the rope to clean up Seph's office.

He unlocked the door, moved the chair away, and untied the rope. As he walked back to the window, he looked around to make sure everything was as it should be. Just as he was about to exit via the window, he remembered the note he was supposed to leave. Pulling the thoroughly wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket, he placed it on the desk. Satisfied with his work, he jumped out the window and grabbed onto the rope.

"Probably not my best move," Reno said as he felt the rope burn his hands as he slid down a few feet. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow. But it'll be worth it"

Climbing back up to Tseng's office, he looked in to see Seph beginning to stir. He quickly clambered into the office and pulled the rope in behind him. Seph was already starting to wake up. Panicking, Reno did the only thing he could think of. He kicked Seph in the head, causing the silver-haired man to slump back over.

"Oops, probably didn't need to do that. Especially since I know Tseng has some heavy-duty sedatives in here for when I get on his nerves…" Reno mused as he stared at the unconscious man before him. "Oh well. What doesn't hurt him will make him…stronger? That can't be good either…"

Choosing to push that thought out of his mind, he bent down and hooked his arms under Seph's armpits and dragged him into a corner. Walking back over to Tseng's desk he grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills and, noticing it was less than half full, crushed the remaining ones into a fine powder.

Ambling back over to Seph, he tipped the powder into Seph's mouth. He figured that should be enough to keep him out of it for at least a few more hours. That was more than enough time to do what he had planned.

Suddenly he heard a cry from the floor below him, it sounded a lot like Zack. Smiling to himself, Reno left the office and locked the door behind him. It was time to find Zack and put an end to this.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed it. I think the next one is the joint chapter written by both of us...that should be interesting. Oh, and review please!